so it's me and biggie versus them, to the death obv. in an epic battle of snes tetris on LEVEL NINE for the title of master grand world champion of the year of all time
i've been dicking around, not really going for the Master of India achievement, just sort of taking over africa and still messing around in south america and the caribbean, and for what? the No Pirates in my Caribbean achievement? sure. but that just gets me into trouble with the trade powers with big navies like the ****ing swine in britain and the netherlands. so this time i'm just gonna start as spain and go around africa real quiet-like and start ****ing with those weak indian bitches asap, preferably like before 1650. early 1600s should be ok, and i'll just try to play nice in europe, ally austria and britain early, keep a moderately sized defensive army on the mainland to repel any incursions from aragon and see how it goes.
who's to say a 40,000 dollar watch wouldn't INSPIRE and MOTIVATE me to then make MILLIONS of dollars? I mean, am I crazy? am I crazy right now? am I, am I, am I, am I crazy?
instead of paying $79 to wait hours in line to be terrified, we terrify people completely randomly, by jumping out of garbage cans or busting out of windows or leaping off buildings into crowds. call it ambush gardens
dennis rodman is a genius. maybe an accidental genius, but a genius. who has the BALLS to bring diplomatic relations on however small a scale to the hermit nation? mj? f no. RODMAN.
and if he just played basketball it'd stay a small thing, but he's sitting there with his sunglasses and cigar and he knows he needs some ****in press for this ****in game, stateside, if he's ever going to realize his ultimate dream of world peace. he's gotta do something big. he's gotta turn the cnn newsroom into a bona fide SITUATIONIST EXPERIMENT.
note to future self:
write a series of books about this moment in history.