Bread and Butter >>> Fish and Chips imo

pasting in case nsa wipes the internet of truth again:

AP: Dennis Rodman dons his early-1990s wedding dress and marries NK leader Kim Jong Un in elaborate ceremony

Aaaaaaannnnnnnd it's gone.

BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY:

BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL

frivolous **** to buy when doj pays me back:

an Instant Hot hot water faucet, with which i will create TRULY INSTANT instant oatmeal. my mind races with the timesaving possibilities.

You misspelled the twenty-second "BILL."

Sub

note to future self:

devise a method to run milk through an Instant Hot hot water faucet.

EDIT: without ruining the filter

EDIT: fresh milk

EDIT: forget it

note to future self:

so there's this girl on mfc with the handle RashidaJones, and she looks exactly like Rashida Jones (quincy jones' daughter from the office and from being a nurse on that newer version of the office where aubrey plaza is constantly staring directly at the camera), to the point where when i opened the channel, instead of being like, "wow this chick looks a lot like Rashida Jones", i was like, "wtf is Rashida Jones doing on mfc?? is she promoting some hbo show??"

Cute face small tits small ass, hittit after 2 beers, reduce to 1 if she is mega slutty

potential signs of stroke:

there's suddenly a strong smell of baked brownies in my home but i haven't baked brownies or even had any brownies in this house in years

frivolous **** to buy when doj pays me back:

commission an oil painting of napoleon; topless. for that spot over the fireplace in the study

oversized, across my back, on like a loop as if you're falling into a thomas magnum's hat dimension through a portal on my back

why can't tattooists administer pain relieving drugs or even use that fantastic gas? their **** is way more painful than a dentist's. plus the psychedelic effects might boost their creativity and make them work even BETTER. #sighbama

nope, she's perfect. she's an 11; a 10 who spends all day in front of the computer. and she makes bank doing it cause loads of dummies inexplicably love donating. she's basically an even hotter mickey peterson. like i said, perfect woman.

note to future self:

douchebag is now censored on bovada. rip chatbox

nvm, ****bird is still well in play

Tess Ellen

decrees for when I'm king of America:

Washington will be able to keep their team name The Redskins, but Mississippi will be given an even more terrifying mascot for their professional sports teams: The Mississippi White Slaveowners.

also an immediate ban on all non-terrifying mascots. get with it, sports.

conspiracy theories that are actually real:

bud light printed the label on this case of bud light platinum blurry on purpose, to warn me about how drunk it'll get me later.

conspiracy theories that are actually real:

my plot to manipulate the mods into removing all the popular blogs from the subforum has gotten off to a smashing success. one down.

when i die, i wanna go out the same way i came into this world: in a spaceship battle 200 years from now, on ecstasy.

note to future self:

become an expert Go player then get the rest of my life together by next monday

****, it's almost tuesday