There are too many wholesome values derivable from poker to keep the public shielded forever. Kids with issues used to have gyms to box in, now where do they go?
I’ve envisioned myself managing a house full of staked online poker players. I’m qualified to do almost nothing of real merit, but almost nobody would be capable of taking care of young batsh#t degens. Maybe poker clubs will crop up if Billionaire casino moguls would give up their vice grip. I can see myself operating one someday.
Things feel crappy. My routine isn’t good, I feel the same tune being played and am embarrassed. It’s been a struggle to get out of bed before 2, I keep going back to sleep hoping for a pleasant thought.
Dad’s got a rare genetic disease that’s slowly killing him. I was looking forward to making fun of him into old age. Now we watch sporting events together while trying to remain optimistic. I don’t know if I’m fit to be a caretaker, that hurts to think about. He was a good father to me and my sister, I’ll have to live with being a mediocre son.
Summer in Michigan is pleasant. I’ve either gotten used to morning birds singing, or sleep deeper now and am not aware. It rains a lot, making it difficult to take the dog out (16-year-old Shih Tzu) without getting muddy paws.
I went for a walk this week, around 2 miles. The first half went by much faster than the 2nd, I was reminded by an old oddity-of-life of going for car rides with my mom, and how the trek home always seemed to take longer, a factor of mystery (excitement) versus old and expected.
I think I need to change something up, but I’m not sure what. I’ve been stuck in a sunken dream, off course for years. I don’t expect anything to change.
Thanks Lucid. I spent the day finding my zen and getting positive energy flowing. I'm tempted to post an e-mail I sent earlier that courses through what I'm experiencing but I think it's getting redundant.
I've used online poker as an instrument for escapism, but I'm thinking it would be a good thing to get back into. The opportunity cost used to be much higher. As of right now I don't have anything going on and it would be good mental exercise and profitable. I've been playing to pass time without meaningful effort -- often playing 1 table -- and have been regularly running up $10-->$100 and cashing out. I don't know how long this easy money will be available for, which is another factor that I should be trying harder.
Zdeno Chara is playing tonight in the cup finals after breaking his jaw earlier this week. Pretty insane, good for him. I wonder how forgetful people are about the Pacioretty hit, or why Chara was forgiven but Todd Bertuzzi wasn't? The media 'mind controlling' people is kind of a real thing.
It's kind of a curious thing. I write with a purpose in mind normally. It's starting to resemble something more external; an experience to keep afloat, seemingly. Like going rock climbing...I did this a few times in high school and found it thrilling -- I couldn't create that feeling without experience. And so it's the experience of writing which is drawing me in.
To have division of labor. Separate paradigms while going full force. To live in minimalism, and extremism at the same time.
The spiritual flow around me goes in a different direction. It's vertical; people ride a vertical tide. Mine goes perpendicular. I can gain the tools and skill set to break through, and discover new avenues and worlds.
The lateral plane. It's tiny, and pressure-kept. But what if it wasn't...
Promote chess through art, and art through chess.
Easier to feel than to explain using words. Chess is an important game.
Aronian gave a breathtaking victory speech. I can't locate it, but the redeeming quote was:
Chess is a silent discourse between two souls
I would get courtside seats to Knicks games, setup a table between myself and an elite player. Me and Alex Grischuk, playing chess on TV. It would be sheer madness! I would be a famous person by that point, of course, and there would be an interview.
Who are you playing against? You don't know who that is?? He's the strongest player in all of Russia. What do you think about the Knicks tonight? I haven't seen any of the game. I've been focused on chess. Why don't you ask him? Why are you talking to me and not him? Someday they will be playing a championship chess match at MSG, sold out, you know...
And/so I would be a chess weirdo.
I would aim a projection screen at a New York skyscraper and play chess. People would watch.
I don't know why there isn't more artistic presence. Maybe in pockets of rich-people-land there is more graffiti and culture, there is almost none where I grew up; not counting a few museums...those are inside. But what about outside? Why does the Heidelberg remain contained....
I had a vision of becoming a sculptor. The anti- Da Vinci. I would use raw materials and stack them to the clouds. Monoliths! I just hi-jacked a field surrounding a children's hospital. I have 50,000 tons of cinder blocks -- I build a 200 ft. Tyrannosaurus Rex; it goes against everything society is about, yet it brings joy.
There needs to be more art. I grew up without it because I was not good at holding a pencil. How idiotic of them.
Fix National Security
I don't mean the NSA. I don't even know what the NSA is, and can barely turn on a computer.
We're continuing to become weaker in security. Violence is continuing to mount, and guess what folks: it's becoming a near certainty that a poker tournament somewhere will be gunned down. That day will be darker than Black Friday, and I'm worried.
My skills are with my feet, and with my eyes. Train and arm X number of people like me to roam vulnerable premises ready to foil attempts at grave malice.
The future of security is the minority report, and AI. But before that, we need better ground troops. Human intelligence. I can't believe the Feds haven't figured this out yet.
I'd like to inspect the basements of every home in America. It won't be fun. But being held captive as a prisoner for decades is much less fun. It's a certainty this is going on; occasionally women are rescued; that's enough evidence that it's widespread. Ignore every other crime besides human trafficking and bomb making - or its equivalent.
The solutions exist. They aren't easy, but they are possible.
Bring Poker Back From The Dead
Start with a Ted Talk. The vast virtue of the game is for everyone, but it's especially for people in trouble.
But what about predator aspects? Addiction?
Microstakes. Nanostakes. Playing for points, recognition. Education - What about a high school class....work through algebra problems of equity and EV, and then go to the library to play a private MTT. This wouldhelp develop...
Critical thought. Problem solving. Emotional control and understanding. Psychology, statistics. Memory. Socializing. Healthy competition. Avoiding -EV situations. Understanding luck. Learning how to lose and pick yourself back up again. A lot more than this....
Non-hostile Hostile Media Takeover
Youtube is proof there is demand for educational content that barely exists on Television currently.
I used to wake up early and watch Mr. Wizard.
The non-stop punishment of forcing National Politics on everyone.
I don't understand much about post modernism, and I am not a smart man. But David Foster Wallace was, and he gravely speaks (literally, you can see pain in his smile, it's cunning) about problems with television shows and their affect on people. I think, in a simpler form, TV of the 90s helped you become a better person. Whereas TV today helps you become a cooler person; partitioning off problems of the human condition into hip quotes and boxes of irony.
It's like we're becoming assembly line products instead of individuals.
I had an inkling of turning this blog into a fiction novel. I think for one reason or another I'm in a position to produce something unique and it would be poor footage to deprive myself of an excellence when none are otherwise possible. My vocabulary and acuity for literary devices might not be form for a long prose piece....actually I'm almost certain they are not. But if I only focused on my strengths it would be reflectionary and rigid, maybe very good but there are already enough field guides and technical manuscripts for practicality sake. Writing about myself as I currently am and was is something of a battle of will and wits, and a time capsule, but I am wholly aware that it is unpleasant reading and repetitive.