intro:

im an early 30's guy from small country in europe making a living from poker since 2010, sng grinder, biggest stakes i've grind was $15, not that a great pro, i can say i made enough to make a decent living as my poker profits were higher that the ones i could have achieved in any other 'real life' job.

During my poker career i can say i've learnt a lot about life in general, i guess it opened my mind and basically show'ed how 'little' and 'wrong' i was, my incompetence eventually blocked me from being a better player and person many times. On top of that i became a father in 2011 (not planned child and very weak relationship with gf) following the brake up of the relationship and a huge depression that keep me away from any work for about 1 year.

After that i got back to poker and rebuild my life, which i can say had a lot of ups and downs since the child, i dont want to tell you all about my life story now, i will often talk about stuff of the past with the goal of overcoming it or just ranting/venting in order to 'flush' it out.



what i want to achieve:

so after many failed attempts of blogging/journaling (with some that actually lasted some months) i want to make a new try, but this time i will focus on a better architecture/strategy that makes me more willing to make updates.
the title pretty much nails it, i want to keep a track of my improvement and for that i will guide myself by some self help vids/books that i might give links latter if forum mods allow it. i also have a great friend that is helping me along this way, more in terms of poker since he was my 1st coach/mentor.


what is the practical plan:

i will start with weekly goals so at least i have to come here once a week for updates, but there's much more i want to do so i will be adding stuff in some (slow) way that does not make huge weight on my responsibility, as im prone to give up if coming here to update became more of a 'burden' than the 'willing-full journaling'. hope i dont give up even if i fail the goals and some updates.



any insight appreciated

weekly practical plan targets:

-poker goals
-exercise goals
-gratitude journal
-working the #1's

and usually before the days off in order to enjoy them better after the 'wrap up'.

working the #1's

so this thing makes a lot sense to me and im going to explain how it works: i will pick the number 1 thing that if i start doing now and will change my life for the better, and also the one thing that i will stop doing for the same reason, i will commit 100% to these #1's instead of trying to fix all at the same time which very challenging and inappropriate and leads to failure, so i will stick to these 100% and when i feel that i've moved on im going to pick the next.

so 100% commitment to #1's, non negotiable so just do it because i will mostly not "feeling like doing it", but if its non negotiable what does 'fell' matters?


#1 start: exercise 1hr/day
#1 stop: smoke weed at day time on work days (im allowed only after 8pm or after work)

i like european guys good luck

ok, lets try a 2nd attempt. too much stuff going on is not a reason for me not giving 5min/day or 15min a week here updating.

for an update i can say im feeling very emotionally unstable as im trying to reduce the amount of weed/hash i smoke, im now on day 2 and my main goal is to eventually withdraw and just smoke socially and not more that twice a month. not making the exercise part too has me very stressed, lets see if im not lazy this week and put some hours even if that means doing push-ups and other exercises at home.

im going to a spanish language course, 3hours per day till mid september, that will keep me more socially 'connected' to the world and i guess will turn out to be a good balance since i rarely leave the house, also the teacher is darn hot

ok im gonna start with a not very demanding week and see how it goes before i make bigger goals.
on the reward side i have to be very strict, and will reward only if i can accomplish the 100%


goals for week 2 (mon7 to sun13):

.40 hours play (7-8 per day)
.5 hours study (1-2 per day)
.3 hours exercise (30min per day)


week reward:

.new shoes

meh failed it again

kinda got my new shoes but im on a huge emotional roller coaster due to my parenting situation and relationship with the mother which has the kid custody. l cant complain much about poker/professional stuff since lve not been missing that much hours, but my personal life is a mess, and it kind of 'spills' into the grinding motivation.


also made a thread about some thought question of my issues you might wanna check out:
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/34...-life-1475162/



will try again, im not done