Sub'd. Great read, keep it coming.

It's been a while since I've updated, sorry to anyone following.

Things have been going great. I'm making good money fishing and making good money playing poker. I have recently moved to 200nl and it has been going great.

I found a scooter on the side of the road a few days ago for a good price so I bought it. It goes way faster than the scooter I used to have. I can hit about 70 mph (110 KMH) on flat ground so it is pleny fast enough. I still don't have a motorcycle license so I am doing my best to not get pulled over, but I am willing to take my chances.



Lobstering has been going really well. My wrists haven't been bothering me much so that is a really good thing. Yesterday we had a 10 foot thresher shark caught up in the lines when we were hauling traps. We hauled it aboard and took some pictures, the captain cut the jaw out of it for a souvenir and then we threw it back in the drink.

One of these days soon I am going to bring my GoPro out on the boat and get some videos of us hauling but I might wait until we are catching some more lobsters.

Looking forward to the vids, glad to hear you are doing well.

Why not chop the fins off for some high priced soups?

Check out this lucky lobsterman's unique feat.

http://wamu.org/news/15/07/23/maine_...d_rare_lobster

"Bill Coppersmith, a fisherman in Maine, might want to buy a lottery ticket. He's gotten pretty lucky lately. This week he caught a rare orange lobster while fishing with his sternman Brian Skillings, writes the Portland Press Herald.

The paper talked to Robert Bayer, the executive director of The Lobster Institute at the University of Maine. He said that the actual odds of catching an orange lobster would just be a guess. But "it's one in several million, there's no doubt about that."

He also caught an albino lobster in 1997. The Associated Press writes that catching a white lobster is a one-in-100 million chance. The Herald reports that "Captain Eli," as Coppersmith has named the rare orange lobster, will be kept at the Fisherman's Catch Café in Raymond, Maine, before he releases it back into the ocean.

Copyright 2015 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/."

I hope i'm misunderstanding the bolded part

It was already dead when we found it. We don't litter, we don't kill anything without a purpose. When I say "we" I mean the captain and crew on the boat.

soo, could you manage the alcohol these days?

IslandGuy I literally just read your entire thread in one sitting. Had no idea about your blogs. So good. Would love to check out Paradise in a couple of years when traveling the U.S. will be a realistic possibility financially and I get around to visiting the east coast again.

Would love to hear how you and your GF are doing now. Also, IMO the drinking has to go. You yourself mentioned how much of a game changer 420 was for you. Use that to your benefit in exactly the way you know you benefit from it. Smoke at the end of the day only. 420 saved my fuqing life IMO. It just might save yours too. It's not a cure all, obv. You have to put in some work yourself.

But I'm rooting for you, regardless, bruv. Hope you continue to run good in life and continue your move up in stakes.

Also, sorry for the lengthy reply and for all of the questions, but how is your live roll coming along? Have you gotten more comfortable playing live?

DChilano

Looking forward to talking strat with you in Skype. We share a lot of similar experiences as far as our personalities, substance abuse, criminal record, women, and even poker! If you're open to it, we can talk life strat too bro.

Yea that ^^

Subbed, been meaning to read this for a while now, didn't disappointed! Great blog Ben. Hope everything is working out well for you

Thanks everyone. I have been really busy so I haven't updated. I will give a proper update soon. This blog will someday be an active log of bravery and dedication!

Ok, time for a real update. I will do my best to be completely honest and open.

So fishing has been starting to pick up. I have been very busy working 5-7 days a week 8-16hrs a day. I have been making some good money for the past couple weeks which makes all of the agony of working on a boat worth it, but I have to say it is damned hard to continue when I know I could be grinding instead. I know that I need to stick it out until this winter though and I keep telling myself that.

As far as my work life goes it has been as good as I can hope for. My captain (also my little cousin) has been really nice to work next to. The other guy on deck I have known for a few years now and we always hated each other with a passion. When we first started working together it was kind of rough and I was doing my normal prakster stuff that is standard for me on a boat and he didn't take well to it and blew up on me one day, but I dealt with it well and we worked through it. Usually I am the type to not take 1 ounce of **** from anybody but I swallowed my pride and since then we have become a really good team. It is to the point now where we just give each other **** all day and make fun of one another but we are constantly laughing. I mean, I never thought he and I would even not hate one another, but now we are buds and it feels really good. I don't think I have ever been on a boat when everyone gets along and has a good time.

Part of the reason we have had problems is that he thinks he is one of the best stern men around. This is something most stern men think about themselves, kind of like poker players. So he thinks he is the **** like most, but then I hop on the boat and day after day I dust him. I am the best around, hands down. I have the quickest hands in the state by such a huge margin that even the top guys can't deny that I own them on the rail of a lobster boat. This is something that has caused a ton of problems in the past because everyone wants to think they are some kind of awesome stern man, but then skinny Ben hops on the boat and just dominates the boat. Then their confidence gets shattered by a dude who they totally underestimated. I know this all sounds egotistical, which it probably is to some extent, but there is no denying that when I step up to a trap full of lobsters there is no one else that can take care of business like your truly.

The weather out there has been great for the last few months, flat calm and warm. We are just starting to enter te part of the season where that all changes though. This last week we had 1 day where we had 6-10 foot seas and it reminded me why I love lobstering (although deep down I hate it). When we are catching a good amount and the seas are big and I am catching waves to the face all day I come to life. It's l;ike every day that I wake up at 3am to get on my scooter, ride a half hour to the boat in the cold wet morning, and then it's time to go do battle. Every day I need to be in the mindset that I am going to kick this days ass and be the best damned warrior fishermen in the state that day. If you show up just to make a check and get through the day then you are just another stern tard. I though will be a legend in the lobstering scene, I am already. I'm not quite as spry as I was a few years ago at my peak because of carpal tunnel, chronic tendonitis, and general disillusionment about the "glory" that I used to think there was in fishing, but I can't help but give 110% every day. I plan to be done with lobstering in pursuit of a poker career so I know I need to go out with a bang and cement my place in the stern man hall of fame. It may all seem silly to all of you, but in my area there is something to be said for being one of the best on a boat.

I know I said I would before, but over the next week or two I am going to start taking some videos with my gopro of us hauling. It will probably be a little boring, but whatever.

I have been playing some live poker lately too which has been going great. I have been keeping track of my sessions through a poker app on my phone. There is a 50nl live game twice a week that I have been crushing and I have been going to the casino to play 1/3 once a week, maybe less. So far I have been destroying the live games. I tend to play a little on the maniac side and it has been working well. When I spot someone who is "sick of my ****" I know how to adjust to that and own them. I don't have much of a sample yet so I don't want to read too into anything, but I have felt very confident in my decisions. Last time I played at the casino I made a river call with Ahi in a $150 pot and won. There is defenitely something to be said for what that does to your image in a live game. When I play like a maniac and things go in my favor it's like the whole table is playing against me and trying to adjust to what I will do. That's when I have them exactly where I want them (checking down a straight on a paired board because " I was hoping you would bet like you always do!") I know that crushing LLSNL is not much of an accomplishment for most, but it feels great to me to see how far I have progressed as a player.

There are a 2 $1/$2 home games that run near me that I have played a while back, but I am going to start playing in those when I have the time.

As far as poker goes it has been a rough month and a half. July was my best month ever online, then in september I hit a pretty bad ds. I bottomed out at about -30 bi but I have been slowly climbing my way out. The fact that I was in a ds never really affected my play much. Having money to live on made it pretty easy to ignore negative variance. This just solidifies the idea that I need to have several months living expenses saved before I give full time poker another shot. If I was relying totally on poker and had no money saved I think this ds would have been catastrophic to my game. Instead it is just giving more motivation to double my efforts. I have been bringing my laptop on the boat sometimes and sacrificing sleep time for study time. This is a good thing because one of my biggest leaks as a poker player is the fact that I am incredibly lazy when it comes to doing off table work.

The stable that I belong to is about to renting a grind house in Nevada. I was told that I would have a room there this winter but I don't think I will pursue this because I don't think it would work if I have a gf. What I will most likely do is find a small apartment for her and I to live in out there so that I can take advantage of a live play staking deal without having to deal with the complications of having a gf in a place where she is most likely not welcome. I feel like I am on the right track and I will be just as good at poker as I am at lobstering.

Until I get some videos taken I will attach these 2 videos. The first is a video I made a few years ago. We weren't catching much so I am not going as fast as I usually do, but it gives you an idea of what I do all day. The second is a really well produced video by a fellow fishermen.

bro you gotta post some more pov lobsterman videos that was pretty cool

Ok I will but it might be a few weeks. I want to make sure t get some good footage and edit it well.

don't kill yourself over it with editing, i enjoyed the realtime lobstertainment. maybe like a superspeed of a whole day in a few minutes would be neat, but i'd really enjoy a live feed twitch stream type deal if it's possible to set that up with satellite phones or smth

Awesome Idea. I will probably do that.


Ok... yeah... I will get right on that.

^^ what they said.

No need to be modest. That was bad ass, sir. Not the least bit boring. Especially if you get jiggy on that level with chronic tendinitis and carpel tunnel. Keep the vids coming and stick it out this winter. Also, glad to hear you've been crushing live. Hope your online ds turns around for the rest of September.

Were you throwing back the undersized ones because of regulations or because they aren't worth very much?

Also, do you think it's wise to pass up a spot at a grind house over a girl that just a few months ago you referred to as someone that you believe things probably won't work out with? What if you move out there, get a spot, and a month in you find yourself in a miserable spot and few to no alternatives? Don't get me wrong...I'm totally rooting for you on all counts. Esp when it comes to the companionship department. But it seems to me you really need to evaluate this particular spot very carefully, as it could potentially derail your goals and ambitions.

I think, without knowing your situation entirely, the best line in this spot might be to either break things off with her, or have a really long talk with her about where she sees your relationship 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years from now. If she's not in it to win it, and doesn't have a desire to eventually sober up, the hand will basically play itself. You can't expect someone to have the capacity to love you properly if they hardly love themselves.

Obv it's not like Vegas is flooded with "wifey material," but it wouldn't shock me if you found someone who is sober AND maybe has some more things in common with you while you're out there. Not only that, but you're still young. Maybe you're underestimating your game with the ladies? Maybe being single might be optimal to your poker career, as you can dedicate yourself entirely to that, as opposed to having to balance competing priorities (relationship vs poker).

Still rooting for you buddy. Hope you don't take offense to my opinions.

-DChilano

Awesome read. Keep it up!

You know yourself very well, you also are very selfless and willing to sacrifice your own success or well being to ensure the well being of another. You have done it for me, you have done it for girlfriends, you have done it for family, and probably even people you knew for short short periods of time.

that is only a piece of my message, i need to retype since i had some internet problems. Look forward to compiling the rest

Wat

yeah, us too. preferably in the King's English this time.

Thanks man! Though, some might say all that stuff makes me a sucker...

Boss!

My life has been pretty crazy for the past few weeks. Things have been way too hectic to focus on my blog, but I think writing in here helps me deal with things and I appreciate feedback and advice from everyone in here.

So, I have been struggling with drinking and then not drinking and then drinking again and back and forth. I had an epiphany though, and realized exactly where I was headed if I continue to drink. I was neglecting responsibilities and just felt like **** inside. I was so in control of my life and driven when I was sober for those 2 years. I need that back. I had a long talk with my girl and told her that I need to be sober and that it isn't working with us both struggling with the drink at the same time. We talked about our relationship and where it was going and both decided that it would be best to end it. That was about 3 weeks ago and I haven't drank since.

Being newly single and needing a place to stay I bought a motor boat and headed back to Paradise! My friend Messy brought his truck to come pick it up with me and we loaded it up with everything I own on the mainland, which fit into 2 backpacks and a trash bag. He dropped me and my boat off at the landing and I headed out to my island home. The wind is pretty brutal this time of year and it can be a real struggle just getting back and forth to the mainland for work and supplies, but I like the challenge. I have a suit that I wear when I am crossing in the dark that will prolong my life and keep me afloat if something were to happen.

Not even a week after I bought the boat I had problems getting the motor started. I was pretty upset because it wasn't cheap, and when I took it to the outboard shop he basically told me the motor was ****ed! I just bought the thing! I didn't know what to do. Do I spend even more money that I should be saving to get another motor? I stayed at Messy's house for a week to figure out what I was doing. After a lot of thought I decided the most economical decision and best decision for my sobriety was to buy another motor and head out to paradise. I found another motor on craigslist and scooped it up. This one is a lot newer and hopefully will be more reliable.

Poker has been horrible. I have been doing great on 1 site that I play on, but I have been getting my ass handed to me on Bovada. I have been on a downswing for 2 months now and it is really destroying my confidence in my game. I have a coaching session with one of the coaches at my stable soon, hopefully we find out what the hell I am doing wrong.

I thought I had more to write, but I am hitting a blank and it is probably better to not make this tl;dr.

Until next time friends!

Hey man this is awesome, I hope you get sober. I feel so much more in control having cut back to drinking once/twice a month(it used to be 4 times a week and getting f&*ked up).Really puts you in a better frame of mind to have a clear head and not what you're trying to achieve.As regards poker, don't worry it happens to all of us. Here's my septemeber results where I ran into the top of people's ranges time after time and when I had the best hand, I lost :





Don't worry it will turn around. The most important thing to do when you are losing/on the wrong side of variance is to minimize your losses. Instead of losing $ 200 in the session lose $100 and try to feel good about it knowing you played your best. Do a HH review to reinforce the feeling that you are improving/playing good poker and not buring money by acting irrationally through tilt.

Your yearly winnings will be affected more by how you play your losing sessions than your winning ones ; it's easy to play good when we are winning.