I remember my darkest days before I started my slide into jail. I would read stories about other peoples lives and the one that always stuck out to me was Donald Trumps beautiful family.
Here was a man involved in real estate like my mom but was a real dad to his children and had such a beautiful wife that I compared to my own mother. I looked at his kids and always wished I felt what they had and would never lose.

Why did my life have to be this hard or what the hell happened to me was all I could think of when comparing my life to theirs. It was just a prominent example of family loyalty and that is something that is most desired by me. I've only met a few true loyal people so I know how hard it is to come by. In my darkest times of juvenile jail, alone in a room , no books, no one to talk to , I turned to my memories and things i desired the most .

I always had this family in my mind because of the real estate , great dad connection. When he said no drinkin , no smoking , no drugs to his kids I felt that tremendously. I wanted a man like him to guide me instead of me guiding myself. I wanted to be loved by someone that was successful and would see the glimmer in me and push me towards a greater purpose. So many times I sat in cells thinking about this. WISHING. DREAMING.

I finally gave up on the dream of somehow becoming his son and had to survive in prison . I know it may sound weird to you but imagine lost in a sea of lost time and your only hope is a dream of a guy who should have been your dad instead of the clowns who showed up.


This is really one of the things I keep hidden because it's hurtful to me to know others have had the best dad ever while others dont know them or wish their dads weren't theirs I'm not jealous, hey you do you, I just hurt inside because that hole in me is big.

Those were really tough times in my life and reflecting with this story, I have to talk about it. It was an important force for me to not be a bitch in prison. His strength and leadership just through media was enough to help me tremendously. I didn't care about how rich he was, I just wanted his strength as a dad.

Now he's been the President and his family is grown and beautiful. I would still give anything to be called his son but someone like me isnt good enough to be in the same room , much less be loved and guided by.

I knew he would be a Giant and I hope his sons grow to be one as well.

When Stephanie said this I knew she way making a play to hurt Tammy and to try and get me to buy her stuff with my settlement money- Instead of that, I played along and got her to tell me all the strip club activity and found out some guy named dewayne was screwing her from the " club" . I was so pissed I went to our old apartment and cut up all the furniture I had left there plus some of the clothes I bought her . I wrote on the mirror dewayne was here and went back home .

I regret these thing so much because emotion caused it to come off the rails.I allowed my pride and hurt to make me act so irrational. I felt so disgusted with myself but all I could think of was the betrayal.

The next day I called and had a dozen yellow roses sent to her at her moms, which she didnt accept and I didnt know that until I called the florist the next day to send a dozen more. This time they were accepted and we talked.

Of course, it was all my fault. I said that gun was in your closet and you brought it. She denied it. She denied it. She denied it all and said I shot her, but still stayed with me. It was really rocky. I had the aprtment in selma, working at the restaurant and drinking drambuie after work every night. I started to get depressed at how the money was gone and I knew better. I was gaining weight again and just all around miserable because of the situation. All the people I worked with were not on the level as me . I have to just pretend in those crowds and not speak. No matter what, I'm called wierd unless I embrace mindless chatter and tickle everyones ears.

Tammy got a job with Brian ay bahama breeze in raleigh waiting tables and was making decent money. She was driving back and forth up there and started messing with some guy about to leave for the military. Everything was so messed up and no matter what choice i made , it seemed to make it worse.

I quit working at the cheesecake place and got evicted from my apartment by my step grandparents when I missed one months rent. Tammy and her brother and a girl he met thru Tammys work were going to rent a house a person at the bar offered so I tagged along. It was a disaster.

Her brother Ronnie wouldnt work. He was everely depressed because of his divorce and his sons issues . He had a CDL license but was hvaing trouble getting hired on because he had walked away from a whole tractor in some other state when he quit one time.

It was just a bad brew of toxicity that was doomed to fail. Once it went south after a few months, I moved back to my mons basement to figure out what I was gonna do.
Tammy of course was couch surfing at brians or wherever and although we were talking and having sex, it was just shambles.

Treefrog , my closest friend was pretty much my best friend of all time. Sean Jeffrey Dempster. He died on October 11, 2018 and I knew the last time I facetimed him it would be the last time I seen him. His parents died long before and he was pretty much alone in the world except for his uncles , cousins and aunts.

We bonded hard and no matter what he was always there . After leaving the cheesecake place, I found a job on I-95 at the selma exit as a night auditor for an Indian owned motel. His name was Keyshore Joggia and he was something else. He leased the store beside the hotel also and ran both . One time he needed someone to work the gas station and he asked me.

I said yes because i hated night audit and wanted a different scene. On my first evening , I realized the treefrog worked on gas pumps as he had went to school and worked at one of the best companies that serviced pumps. I called him and asked , was it possible to get free gas.

He replied yes, that it was certain pumps and that you needed a key and a code. He said I'm not gicing you a key but if you find a key, I'll give you the code. Well, i asked what brands of pumps did i need to look for and low and behold , the pumps matched what he said and when I looked down below the register, there were like 10 loose keys, all the same , just laying there under a sheet of dust. I picked it up and it said the same name as the pumps , I aksed him , does the key say - CH751?

he didn't answer for a second and then he said man if you get caiught stealing gas like this you are ****ed. I immediately asked him if it worked at 24 hour pumps where there was no attendant . Of course it worked. This is the time right before great wide spread camera use so this was an easy hustle.

At first I kept it a secret and just filled my own tanks on my lexus and my truck. Both bought with settlement money.Then my girl needed gas. Then I told my bro and then my other childhood friends. I helped them when I could and even gave my brother a key. This gas hustle lasted a long time. One time I almost got caught and had to speed and elude to prevent him from getting the key. had to lawyer up.

The last time I used the key was late one night after dealing a $1/3 game in Cary NC. I drove by this one secluded store that was prime for free gas. Like clockwork my dumbass filled up on game night and the owners who were indian caught on and set me up . I sped to eldue from that one too and didnt admit to anything and ****ed up and played the wait them out with continuances game and ****ed myself into a guilty plea with no lawyer-
90 days county day for day and that ****ing sucked so bad. I didnt have to pay back and I didnt lose the key but those 90 days sucked because I was justs tarting to deal Duce staleys game that played for the eagles. I would drive down and make $2000 a night. I went from $1/3 to dealing 5/10/25 mandatory straddle but in between got busted for the gas , only dealt a few games then lost my job to my stupidity.
I never stole any gas again. It was a great ride. many years and many tanks.

Moving back to my moms after losng the house we rented, me and tammy were pretty much on the outs. She wanted to move on and I was so hurt that it was ending. She would be gone for a week then come back. over and over. Finally it seemed that it was over and I was accepting it. I noticed that she was hanging out at this bar in town as I seen her car in the lot .

I didnt hang out there because no one in town liked me. It was mutual to be honest. It was the scum drug crowd and I just couldn't relate. One weekend, I'm noticing her car isnt moving for days. I drive by her brothers and theres weird cars in the yard. Then I start worrying because I know something isnt right. My brother who is a busybody gossip queen knew she was in a terrible wreck and didnt tell me.

I asked him had he heard anything about her and he told me she was at Duke and had a broken back and was probably gonna die. Her brother had wrecked his jeep driving home drunk from that bar and she was thrown out , severely injuring her.


As soon as I heard she was at Duke , I was on 40 in that lightning doing 160 at times to get there.

Her mom didnt want me there but went into the ICU room to ask tammy if she wanted me there. She shook her head yes and I was allowed in to see her. She was all messed up and her back had massive surgical scars. Her beautiful back. She had a faint pulse for a couple of days and had only been awake for a couple of days when I got there.

I instantly started crying because the love of my life, the eternal connection I felt was hurt in the worst way and if I had been a man and tried to explain my thinking to her maybe she would have been home with me instead of hurt like this. It cant be changed now and its terrible. I thought of her being able to quit smoking cigarettes and felt relieved it might be possible with her here for a month.

I had been smoking and wanted to quit . I smoked off and on in jail and had picked it back up drinking. When she was released, I got a $20 box of cvs patches and within days was a nonsmoker for the rest of my life. She had quit cold turkey and was ok at first but her brother Tommy and her Mom were smoking and she hit one one time and went right back.

Once she was injured like this, the doctors wrote prescriptions for anything she wanted and it started my destruction.

When she was home, I was there to help her. I took her to appointments, filling prescriptions and doing anything she needed. I loved her. Her dad had brought a hospital bed and set it up downstairs in their den and we chilled there. We watched movies and one of the movies I remember watching with her was angels and demons.

She was getting a settlement too and it eventually came. She did just as I had an blew it. she bought her mom and dad a big screen TV , her boys a trip to disneyland and me a brand new xbox 360. She bought herself a boob job and tummy tuck.

I remember taking her to charlotte to get it done and being in the room with her when the wheeled her back in and she looking at her tits and realizing it wasnt right and making htem take her back in to fix it. that blew my mind.

I'll admit her tits looked good but it was superficial and only induced her to misrepresent herself. Pill addiction maginified it. The pills flowed man. this is the early days of the opioid crisis. Doctors giving away the most powerful for small pains.
This got us both for a while. I had taken a bunch from my wreck and still used them of and on but I knew inside that i needed to not do pills . it wasnt healty at all.

She rented a house in smithfield and moved her and her boys there. I had moved out of my moms basement and into an apartment just a couple miles from her, in between her parents and her house.

For a while it was working, but I realized she was gonna leave me and then end up messed up because the people she aligned with would not protect her. I panicked, i started thinking of ways to prove I was loyal and that if she stayed, we would go to the top.

She always said I was having pipe dreams during this time. I was begging her, Pleading to give me a chance. Dont leave me.

I would always think back to when she asked me to buy her a boob job and I seen her intentions the whole time. She might have loved me but I wasnt her ultimate prize.

I started stealing at a substantial rate. Years earlier before my job with the auto parts, I had worked for a commercial glass business owned by a family that lived in our neighborhood. My mom asked their mom to hire me and I was in. I didnt work there too long, one of the last days I worked, they were exchanging crates of sheets of mirro and glass using cranes off a truck.

They placed one down and it wasnt secure. it shifted inside the crate and i turned to see it topping over. I jumped out of the way only to be brusied badly on my leg but the guy behind me got totally smashed with his arms pinned back and broken from trying to keep it from crushing him. That was some scary stuff, see that. I got the job doing auto parts shortly after.

Sorry to keep rewinding , i just start writing and then rememeber crucial spots. I should have wrote down writing points but who cares.



I learned at the commercial glass place the use of suction cups- They use cups to set glass and the framing they set it in is aluminum- it has a stop that runs along the bottom- a seal that you can break by removing the window felt thats holding the glass tight into the frame once this pieceis removed you can removed the window and replace it without breaking it, showing forced entry.

I knew this was a goldmine because yet again, this was before cameras and acting alone with no one to sell you out, it WAS a very good way to come up-

I started out small and got good at not breaking anything. It was pretty prolific for a while. I had a stockpile of goods and I set up an ebay account to sell it all-
FranklinStreetHeel is I believe the name I used. In the early days of ebay it was fraud city and I had my share of it.

I hate admitting this , im not proud. I hated the position I was in and pretty much said ride or die. My job prospects were ****. My girl wasn't my girl and life wasn't really that great to be honest.

When I got the apartment near her parents, me and my mom were on the outs and it was because of my dog Angus. I had stolen this pitbull one night from a backyard breeder and ended up taking a dog with a genetic defect. He was a beautiful baby and so smart and I had gotten him for her but when we broke up, I had the dog. Living at my moms, he started to go downhill fast and his quality of life was so crap that I knew I had to put him down so I was gonna go do it in town and my mom recomends the vet she used on her wolf Caleb who eventually had to be put down for the cancer.

I agreed and he eventually came out and first tried to con me and that hurt me pretty bad but i played ignorant and did the deed. he handed me a bill for almosty $500 and I got super pissed. I was so hurt about it and just disgusted that I was mad at my mom and I stopped speaking to her and then got the apartment .

During this time I noticed online poker and then the forums.

I won like $600 and made the final table in a rebuy on stars one of the first time I played real money online. Lost a huge flip my AK vs his AQ. I hadnt had a lot of experince with holdem and wanted to get great at it to try and scoop a big one. I knew I was a good player, I just needed to learn the game and keep my mental side built up without drama. Its so hard to focus with life drama. SO HARD but you will yourself to get it done when you need to.

I made my first trip to Atlantic City around this time and went up to play in the Tropicana $10,000 guarantee which at hthat time, I thought was 1st place money- I had never set foot in a casino or knew the rules. I just knew I was a natural and wanted to see if this was my destiny.

Arriving at night, it was exciting to see the lights and I went to the Taj Mahal to play in their $1/2 game and my first casino cash game-


FIRST HAND TWO BLACK ACES- I could not believe it. at all. I won the pot, played a little while longer and then headed to find a room.

I stayed at the holiday inn I believe, and it was a **** hole. It was old and the doors connecting the rooms had 2 inch gaps under the doors. I was so excited to be there and could hardly sleep but managed to drift off late , only to be awakened by a couple next door loudly screwing like there was no tommorow.

I mean loud sex, and it was terrible nights sleep. I was up when the sun came up and walked arund outside to see what it looked like in the day. I was quite shocked. It was hella run down and dirty and the place just looked old. As i was getting ready to go to the Trop for the tournament, I looked a cross the harbor and saw the Borgata


The tournament was cool. I had never played live in one and all I knew was to play tight. Right after first break i was in the cutoff I believe and opened AQ and the SB called- flop A6Q-
we get it in- he has 666 and i'm out.
I decide to go check out the borgata and drove over.

The poker room downstairs was packed! I didnt know it but there was a WPT event being held there and I just happened to catch it. They were down to like 3 tables in the event and were playing them in the tournament are of the cardroom and I railed lindgren, mizrachi , and so many others. I even talked to Mizrachis twin on the rail about smoking weed as he had a blunt roach in his cigarette pack i seen . He was a nice guy, I always hoped to run into him again one day but it never happened, even living in Vegas and being at the series myself, I didnt run into him. He ran with a much richer group than I did so our paths weren't likely to cross .

I started playing 1/2$ and built up 1500 over the course of the whole day. I asked for and recieved the poker rate for my room which I felt like a king. I was able to grind a winner all day and get a cheap room.

I left the next day headed home after railing the tourney a little longer. I felt like I was good enough to play with those guys, I was just broke.
On that 7 hour ride home, I got disgusted inside about my family life and how my dad ruined it all , so I called him and cussed him out so bad. He deserved it.

I started making regular trips up , playing small tourneys and cash and getting a feel for it. I was getting run over in tourneys or getting extremely unlucky, no middle ground but cash was a winner. I knew between online and live I could make it. I just needed my life to chill so I could focus but at this moment in my life, it was really coming apart.

I'm such a damn dumb ass. During this time I realized with ebay that a small time thief could ring up a bunch of retail theft with cosmetics and dog supplies. I started going out driving around stealing everything small and expensive that could be shipped easily. On top of all the business robberies with safes, cash boxes etc I had built up that to make money as well. For a while I had $600 a day coming to my mailbox in money orders.

Tammy was enjoying free anything from me on top of her rent free life at her rental. We would go out together all the time and eat and my thing was to look for windows that I could easily manipulate and make a come up.

I started to play online more. I was amassing big ass stacks at will in the $10 rebuy on stars but would donk it off in a spot later because of no experience. I was playing super good but with no hours in late stages, I was lost. I started trying to get more live experience so I started playing the free tavern poker a little bit which was pretty bad.

Things were going pretty good and then I caught Timmy over at her house one day , and at a time she thought I wouldnt be around. She wasnt doing anything sexual, but I could sense she had been telling him about what I was doing on ebay and thru the pawn shop in Selma with Harry Godwin, one of the local gaming families. We had done a lot of business before I became the criminal he realized I was later. I was the stepson of the mayor son- we had money or so he thought. I didnt have anything. My name wasnt Hester.
There was a Jewelry store in town that had another store in the next town and one was closing for remodel so the other store brought all the inventory over to one location which had our beautiful alumunim commercial windows. I had previously went to the location near my apartment to get some earrings fixed and when I entered, the girl had a reallly shitty attitude towards me and I thought wow ok but then as I'm leaving the store I realize it's the perfect setup to rob. The store was shaped like a square within a square with the jewelry cases being the inside square. This store had motion sensors but since the window was below the jewelry case, it was undetected-

I had the idea one night to go for it and was inside had 90% of it packed up when I forgot about standing up and set off the alarm. I ran away leaving the window unfixed and the nextdoor clkosed subway sandwhich manager peeping out his front door getting what car I had driven.

Man I screwed this up bad , just like I always do. I raced away and hid my car down the street and trudged through woods and creeks towards my apartment, finally getting there with a 50 pound pack of gold.

I immediately washed all my stuff hid the gold and tried to make a plan on being spotted. I had ****ed up earlier in the summer at the beach and got pulled over for expired tags and got a ticket. Well I ignored it and they sent a local cop by my apartment and my roommate nick just happened to be there with his brother, smoking weed. He les the cop in LOL and the guy sees all my ebay paperwork and writes down my screenames LOL - When the police had a meeting about the jewelry store crime, this guy was ready to finger me as the same car and possibly selling on ebay which I was.

****KKKK drugs cloud your judgement so bad. I was on her pain pills, hating it and doing the stupidest ****.I bungled a lot of things in life but this was pretty bad.

The next night I brought that gold to Tammys house and dumped it on her bed and said, I will do anything to keep you. There were huge rocks in there, some rings priced $25k $40k . so much gold weight. It ended up being in value of 2.7 million dollars and I got caught.

The came to my apartment first but I knew they were coming so I hid all the loot that could tie me to any crime. I had treefrog rent me a storage unit in Raleigh and it was safe. I wasn't home when they came. I was playing free tavern poker , trying to meet someone wanting to really gamble. Nick was home and he had never been in any trouble. He was a stone mason as was his dad and worked HARD which I just couldn't buy into like he did. He smoked weed and liked Carolina basketball and was never gonna steal from me so I always blessed him with free stuff. TVS, sports cards , gold , clothes. Whatever I had extra, I blessed him. Just like my brother and Tammy and treefrog.

They scared him up and he told them some stuff but nothing they could do anything about. They had no gold so they started watching Tammy, who I had given a few peices to. Well they scared her up too and she rolled. LOL

But I still had the gold. I had a lot of money comapred to the crime and could have taken the sentence and came out a rich man. It would only have been a few years but the thought of massive investigations or restitution was not ideal so I bargained. They didnt have insurance and I found this out by my buddy the pawnshop owner Harry Godwin. I went to him distraught to seek advice as I knew he was real dirty about buying hot stuff. His exact words- " wow you really do have it dont you- listen word on the street is they are desperate and will negotiate so pick you out a few good pieces and give it back. cut your losses and move on."

I went to my lawyer and said that I was willing to give it all back in exchange for one years probation, no restitution , no community service and no drug tests.

I was so lucky and so unlucky. I guess that's my whole life. A giant ass bad beat.

Tammy was upset about it all. I was on the front page of the paper and that was big **** around there. I was waiting on my court date and trying to figure out life . Ii was still playing online and was running deep constantly and playing pretty good. I knew it was only a matter of time before I won something nice. Even though I was busted in the heist, i was still playing good. It came time for my court date and I showed up and got berated like you would not believe and called the absolute Devil.
I went home and started filling out applications for a job and the hibachi place hired me. I started waiting tables and my first off day I went to tammys house for the night with my laptop and decided to play online there with her beside me.

I played a $15 tourney I think and cashed for like 1500 my biggest score that night.I was like whoa , i was playing like God last night, lets try it again. This time I set up on the desktop and focus like a madman and buy into the $109 on stars and end up shipping it for 9700$ I also won another fat score in between for 3 of my biggest scores to date all at one time. When it was down to 3 tables I was the shortest stack and Tammy who was watching, was tired of it, I told her if you sit right there I will win this .

I ninjaed my stack all the way down to heads up. we were almost even and a few hands in I get A6 hearts and know in my heart that we wont be folding this and sure enough we get it in. He has AJ and I bink a 6 on the flop GG- $9700 for around $13K total for the two days from a $25 dollar deposit. I had just got busted stealing millions, walked away unscathed , won a bunch of money the same weekI went to court and all Tammy could say was how much was she getting.

Not oh my god , please let me help you attain a greater power and support you. It was also some jealousy in there because not long ago she was telling me what a pipe dream it was.

I sensed huge problems coming and I was right. It was just shortly after that Timmy Radford showed up, the sleazeball sex offender .I show up unannounced at her house and he happens to be there. I knew instantly he had heard about the jewelry store and wanted to come scavenge.He was so friendly and she was overely nice, they couldnt be discussing the inside of my apartment or me winning money gambling. I knew he would be contacting me-

Sure enough here comes timmy calling me some time later wanting to come check me out at my place. Of course I know he wants to see inside my apartment at the massive stack of stolen **** combined with everything I bought with my settlement but instead of telling him to **** off, I played along. I invited him over and showed him around. Could tell his lips were wet thinking about robbing me.

At this same time , one of Tammys childhood **** buddies shows up and he's best friends with Timmy . I catch him and her at her house one day when I was supposed to be playing online. I wasn't gonna touch him but knew he was in the house and knew he what he was up to and wanted him gone. Her side window beside the door didnt lock and you could open it and unlock her front door Which I did and as I opened it , she was there after playing like no one was home.

I said, where is he. She said go home and i pushed past her and went inside, down the hall looking for him. Her bedroom was right across the hall from the room I won the torunamants and as I was getting to her room I see him hiding behind that door through the crack.

I act like I dont see him and keep my back turned and I horse kick the **** out of the door he's behind and he's all ****ed up from being caught off guard.I back up the hallway toward the kitchen and space and the knives.

I grab the chefs knife and tell him to get his ****ing **** and get the **** out before i gut him and he does just that but instead of her staying to discuss the situation, she gets in the car I bought her and chases him down the road.

I start getting my dogs and my computer stuff and the cops show up. There has been no physical contact and I'm getting my property so we talk it all out in the yard . Him and Tammy show back up together and he stands there staring at me like he's hard with the cops there. Typical door gangster ****.

The cops tell me to leave so I do. She gets a restraining order on me and then files assault with a picture of an arm bruise where i pushed by her on my way in. I didn't do anything to her. I had leverage on the door and she couldnt prevent me opening it. ther was nothing brute about it. had she positioned herself better, yes , she could have stopped me. I dont hit women. My dad hit my mom and I want to **** kick him right now.


I get my courtdate and its continued a few times. I know they are setting me up to rob me. I know it. But It's just stuff and I would rather find out for sure than keep guessing. We're in the court and my attorney, the same one from the jewelry heist tells me i have to plead out because she has a case and if i fight it i'll get six months instead of ten days.

When he said this I told him" They are planning to rob me dude and it will be the biggest mistake of their lives"

I thought back to all the risk I took for this girl , the lengths I took to get her stuff she never had and to treat her sons like they were my own. All this fighting, it turned them kind of against me . I wasnt their dad so they had no loyalty to me and Tammy made sure Wyatt and Warner was on her side even after she robbed me.

Sure enough, I get out at midnight and turn on my phone, my friend treefrog who had babysat my dog answered right away and said my house had been robbed when he stopped by earlier to drop my dog off. As soon as I hung up I called her with rerstrianing order and all and she picked up right away.

I could hear it in her voice that she knew she had made a terrible mistake.I said, ooohhhh I hear it in your voice, you have ****ed up so bad, I am never gonna let this go.

Someone you think loves you plots for months to lock you up and rob you will piss a man off.

I was looking through my old baby book stuff and found this newspaper picture of me as a nine month old baby, page 7. Feels like back to the future when he's meeting his uncle as a baby who grew up to be in prison.

Definetely a time in my life that I can rememeber. This was where a lot of my dads relatives lived, as they had moved from Arkansas to lay carpet in the family trade. One of my dads cousins lived there and was also a tattoo artist and had a shop in his house and I remember my dad getting a tattoo and me begging non stop to get one-

He ended up giving me three red dots in an inverted triangle on my left top forearm- Only the two top dots remain, the other faded in time. I remember it not hurting at all at that time but maybe the pain was coming later?

I'm not sure why but I find this picture really significant considering ..]