Hi my name is Arcangelo, and I am a writer. I didn't know I was a writer until a guest that I had at my house asked me, after seeing all my journals: ''Are you a writer?'' and I said: '' Yeah, I guess I am.''
I am very glad that my first 2 attempts of starting a blog here where deleted by the mods. They where political posts.
Whoever that mod was thank you very much.
My first post is gonna be about how the people around you determine your chances of success in life.
When I first read Jim Rohn's super famous quote: ''You're The Average Of The Five People You Spend The Most Time With'', I knew i had some work to do in my social network.
I knew i had to take some distance from some of my friends and made the decision of cutting some of them off completely.
In my journals I started writing down the number of days i have gone without contacting them. This was with the ones I was trying to cut off completely. I was like if i can go 100 days w/o seeing this person that means I have succeeded in my goal of cutting ties completely.
It all started with Som. I knew Som when i started hosting cash games at my house. It didn't take me a lot of time to figure out Som was a pathological liar or something. You cannot be friends with someone that lies about everything all the time. So funny. When I discovered about Som's personality disorder I started reading about compulsive lying. Turns out these people perceive their lives to be pretty boring as they are. So they feel the need to spice reality with lies to look interesting and appealing to others.
Next one in the line was Freddie. Freddie was a scammer. The type of guy who would eat half a burger and then pull out one of his hairs and put in the burger so he could get another burger. This was in junior high LOL! Can not be your friend.
Next one in the line was Jay. Jay had psychological issues. His mom died from cancer and he is/was angry at life. Tried to be his friend but he didn't care about nothing, and had anger issues. He was a drug dealer who didn't care about getting busted. On top of that he decides to get a gun and to carry it wherever he goes of course with no papers. His anger was directed towards me one day at the casino and that was it. Can not be friends with someone with anger issues who hasn't got over his mom's dead who carries a gun everywhere.
And the last one is Dee. I have been struggling with how to deal with Dee. Some days i feel like cutting him off completely some days i feel like just taking distance from him.
I guess we can call Dee a deadbeat.
He has been unemployed for 10 years! He is like a 33 years old adult child (kidult) His parents pay for his everything. House, food, gas, clothes, weed.
He is being enabled. Dee is a total mooch not a desirable trait for a friend.
Actually Mooch and Friend can't/don't go in the same sentence.
He mooches from his girl too... Hard. Like he just got a laptop from her.
So funny. His girlfriend gets anonymous calls telling her that Dee is not good for her. And if she changes her phone # she gets the same call LOL!
It's obviously her parents. Pretty sure his girlfriend gives him gas money too.
Because the other day he came from his girlfriend and wanted to mooch smoke from me, he was like: -''I don't have money but I have gas''
LOL!
After writing this I see that what I really want is to cut him off completely.
Like limit my interactions with him to a maximum of 3 times a year. Part of me wants to not to cut him off completely just because of curiosity haha! I wanna see how he is doing 2-5 years from now. Because there's another quote, a mean one:
'' Success is not enough, your friends must fail ''
Don't know the author sorry.
I had what you could call ''relapses'' with all of this friends. One day I would say I would cut off Som completely just to go to the casino with him that night. I used him as my driver. Which wouldn't make me proud or happy.
One day I would say I would cut off
Jay completely just to be smoking with him that night.
One day I would say I would cut off
Dee completely just to be smoking with him that night.
As of right now i am still in the relapsing period with Dee. It has been 2 days w/o contact. But i have made some progress I don't call him he calls me. The thing is that I answer. LOL!
I am doing the slow-but sure fade away.
With all these relapses I started asking myself if i was destroying myself.
I started asking myself if i was addicted to toxic friendships/people.
So i took a codependency test. Think I scored high on that one. And I was able to recognize that Dee is a narcissistic **** LOL!
The exception was Freddie. Kinda. After months of no contact he called me because he needed a cash out but I never answered he was like ''why are you not picking up?'' LOL!
Couple of things I learned:
1. Acknowledge the warning signs. Wish I would have before, so it would have been easier and faster to cut them off. Because life is too short.
2. Liars, Thieves, Scammers, People with anger issues carrying unregistered firearms, and Lazy-Moocher Mofugas are not the best friends one can have.
glgl