Quote:
Originally Posted by krunic
The discussion about all the past incidents with my mom eventually led to me wondering out loud if that had been a factor in determining my sexuality (or lack of it) and I think she was asking about my wanking habits to get a more complete picture of my sexuality. I told her a few months ago that I've never had any kind of romantic or sexual relationship and the thought of it makes me feel anxious and threatened.
Quote:
Originally Posted by krunic
My life makes a lot more sense now that I've gained the perspective that I hate myself.
Of course I'm completely unable to form any kind of meaningful connenctions to other people. I don't even like being around myself, why the hell would anyone else want to be around me?
Of course I get super nervous talking to people. I wouldn't want to talk to me, why would anyone else want to talk to me?
Of course I freak out if someone likes me. I don't even like me, there must be something wrong with a person if they like me. Or they have an ulterior motive.
I'm anxious about the conclusions that you might make together with the therapist
Something I'd like to stress is that what you need to achieve with the treatment is
freedom from aversion, which doesn't equal desire; both aversion and desire are obstacles to nirvana. Over 99% of people tend to desire an intimate relationship with a certain someone, but they're not more objective than those who avoid it.
An ideal ('superlover') state in my book is when one doesn't turn mutually +EV opportunities down but recognises -EV spots, can give a certain other the pleasure and support that they need, in exchange for various benefits, but doesn't get overly attached to the SO.
Demanding emotional attachment from an SO sounds predatory to me; I'd accept only a constructive contractual relationship, even though I know that this filter renders >99.9% of people ineligible.
Being confident that I'm capable of not getting attached to wrong people would free me of the paranoia about ulterior motives, as the right people (if they exist, but it's not a problem if there are none) bring their key motives on the table.
Last edited by coon74; 01-29-2016 at 02:51 AM.