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Old 11-29-2017, 02:10 PM   #226
Burulbash
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Re: krunic tries to suffer less

Hey, mate! I'm really wondering why do you still live with your parents? I mean it seems like a no-brainer call to move out of them, and you don't even have it on your long-term-goal list.
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Old 11-30-2017, 12:05 PM   #227
krunic
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Re: krunic tries to suffer less

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Originally Posted by Burulbash View Post
Hey, mate! I'm really wondering why do you still live with your parents? I mean it seems like a no-brainer call to move out of them, and you don't even have it on your long-term-goal list.
I know, it's just anxiety, and thinking about the effort required to move all my stuff is overwhelming.

I actually have been looking at apartments on craigslist and the zillow app the last few days. I have a friend who offered to help me move a few weeks ago, so I have some more confidence about it now.
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Old 12-01-2017, 11:26 AM   #228
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Re: krunic tries to suffer less

Your case with parents reminds me a famous metaphor. You know, a frog and a boil. If you'll try to put a frog into a boiling water it will jump away immediately. Or, put the frog in water, then heat the water gradually and the frog will be boiled alive without making any efforts to escape.

If I were you, I would have left the house holding a single bag right after I got enough money to pay 2 months of rent. Without breaking your relationship, because you'll have lots of regrets about it. I would have said to my parents that I'll be away for a week or two as for start because I don't want to have the door clothed. You know, your parent's house is opened for you forever. I would prefer not having the pressure on me just in case something gone wrong. I can remember lots of mates who were suffering from hunger without a roof over their heads not willing to come back home broken. Yes, I was hanging around with homeless people a couple of months ;-). And I had issues with my parents too, most of people had.

Last edited by Burulbash; 12-01-2017 at 11:50 AM.
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Old 12-01-2017, 11:40 AM   #229
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Re: krunic tries to suffer less

Sorry if I got it all wrong or sound somehow dominant. I don't feel any superposition or something, it's just me not being that kind of sweet person and lots of memories related to my own experience. I'm still really kind deep inside.
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Old 12-01-2017, 04:31 PM   #230
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Re: krunic tries to suffer less

I'm enjoying reading about your progress here and in a couple of other threads, and I agree with your strategy of taking small manageable steps that challenge your comfort zone without seeming overwhelming. Remember the adage: a frog placed in a pot of water that is gradually heated will eventually jump out, since thermoregulation by changing location is a fundamentally necessary survival strategy for frogs and other ectotherms. I also thought your account of assertiveness was A+.
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Old 12-14-2017, 09:23 PM   #231
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Re: krunic tries to suffer less

I think I like my therapist too much. I always have a plan to talk about the dark **** and the emotionl spiral I'm always on. But when I walk into her office I feel all warm and fuzzy because she's so nice. We end up talking about some lame **** like how I can improve my self esteem or whatever, which is what happened again today. Then I have no one to talk to about what's really bothering me and causing me tons of pain.

I'm drinking alcohol tonight for the first time in 3 years. I've been fantasizing about getting drunk for so long. I drank 1 beer and I feel half drunk. I'd always been a lightweight but wow, I guess that's what happens when it's been that long.
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Old 06-21-2018, 07:21 PM   #232
krunic
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Re: krunic tries to suffer less

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Originally Posted by En Passant View Post
I enjoyed that last post Krunic, thanks.

Any book recommendations on how to be more assertive?
Bumping this because I've recently read two books that have been usefull to me for improving my communication game:

The Art Of People

Not Nice
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Old 07-12-2018, 06:16 PM   #233
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Re: krunic tries to suffer less

When my dead rotting body gets eaten by maggots it will be as natural and inevitable as a leaf falling off a tree in autumn. It's a comforting and liberating thought.

Every being deserves to be exactly where they are right now, doing what they are doing, and interacting in the way they are interacting with everyone around them. We are all in the correct place in the correct time with the correct surroundings. Resistance to reality creates suffering.

The only Higher Power I believe in is hate.

Some people like to talk about "The Universe" as if it were a conscious being. It's like God for people who think religion is uncool. They like to attribute random coincidences and obstacles as signs from The Universe. For example "this _____ happening is a sign from the universe that I should/shouldn't be doing _____."

This belief in The Universe isn't wrong imo. Where people go wrong is in their assumption that The Universe is guiding them in the right direction, and thus they should obey The Universe's signals. What people need to realize is that The Universe hates you, me and everyone. Hate is the only energy in The Universe. The Universe's job is to guide you in the wrong direction, to prevent you from doing what will make you happier and suffer less. The Universe is your enemy. When The Universe Presents you with an obstacle to something you planned to do, it is not a signal to stop, it's a signal that this is a MORE important task than you had originally thought. The more obstacles and seemingly random signals The Universe gives you to stop, the more important it is for you to go. And vice versa.

You must hate The Universe and every being in it. Embrace the hate, it's the only path to the truth.
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