First thing I wanted to say is that I feel that I'm close to being found out, if I haven't already. I am a little paranoid and it's also very likely that nobody cares, but I feel that there are enough clues where perhaps someone could put the puzzle pieces together. If you are a person who believes that you've figured me out, step into the light and introduce yourself.
I believe that you should never do anything on the internet that if your identity was revealed, would ruin or embarrass you. Maybe some believe I should feel that way, but I don't.
An update on the girl situation: second date isn't going to happen. She was giving me the cold shoulder over text before finally ignoring me completely. I gave her some space and went 5 days before texting her on Friday (my plan was for her to come and visit me, I live approx 50 miles from a big city). I wasn't about to drive 50 miles just to see a girl again who wasn't very invested at all, so I was looking for some investment from her. I believe I came on too strongly during the movie part of the date, and didn't give her enough room to chose me. I also failed to strike enough emotional chords that would make her feel attraction and connection with me. Those are just a few of several mistakes, but as I said before, it was a good learning experience.
I also went on a date with a girl from POF, it was very quick, she messaged me first and then we went out together 2 days later. So here's the thing: the date was terrible. Easily the worst I've ever been on. In her online pics she was very good at hiding how fat she was (always get the body shot bros). In addition to that, she messaged me that she was going to wear casual clothes because it was so cold out; according to her, casual means all black clothes. This would foreshadow how the 'date' would play out. I was basically unattracted from the get go, and she herself gave no ****s about how she came off really. One of the first things she told me after I ordered our food was "I think you're autistic". Wow, wtf lady, you sure know how to make a guy feel at ease. She was on her phone for half the date and there wasn't a spark of attraction in either of our voices or in the conversation. Towards the end of dinner, I look at her while she on her phone for like 3 seconds and she says, "I didn't know you were staring at me." No, I didn't mean to stare at you . I find you repulsive, I just couldn't believe how bad the date was and who plays with their phone on a date. There was a second part to the date, but she left early to jump her cousin's car lol. I was walking back to her car and she said some ish about watching her walk to her car and I just said it was too cold for that (to be nice). In my mind I'm thinking, who does this chick think she is? I've shown no attraction to you the whole night and you just keep assuming I like you. No. I never have to see you again and I'm glad.
So..........................what's next for me is getting better quality pictures for my online profiles because the ones I have now are pretty terrible I'm sure. Next is finding some nicer shirts because all I really own now are t-shirts. It's time to grow up and actually buy something from the men's section.
Then I'll do some research on approaching women and then I'll start doing some daytime approaches.
As for non-women related stuff, I'm looking at either going back to school (more on that in a minute), or find a job in the big city with good future potential that doesn't require a degree or experience. Finding that job hasn't been easy as expected. The closest thing I could find is becoming a land surveyor. If I go back to school, the state might actually end up paying a lot of my expenses due to me having depression (state sponsored vocational program), so that's nice. There is a college close to me, but I'm kind of looking to get out of this town, because while there are 25,000-100,000 ppl here, it is still very much a small town feel. Meaning it's hard to find activities to meet new people and there really isn't any place in town where you can consistently approach women. In addition, there are very few jobs in this town that I am interested in doing.