dancing.

It is fantastic work-out and so good for the mood. You are looking great! And it so doesn't matter the age of the guys as long as they can dance.

It was as a great workout and a lot of fun, but I’m so not coordinated!

Today is my mom’s birthday. I’m up early to cook breakfast and bring it to her, yet somehow I have a few minutes to wasted here.

Cooking bacon, breakfast sausage, eggs, potatoes, along with ricotta pie. Here’s to 77 years old!


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Work...

I work with this guy, some basic notes: when I started here he was my supervisor/boss but isn't any longer, as that was 14 years ago...but he still likes to act like he's my boss even though he isn't.

Past month or so, I've been pushing back on his stupid shiat because I can, and telling him the stuff he does in the office has to change. Ugh - so there's been a little tension but nothing terrible. And we are still cordial, chat, work together etc.

Yesterday he called me into his office to tell me the doctor just called him and he has skin cancer. He was upset but said it was the good kind of skin cancer and very treatable. So I was nicer to him than I had been and supportive, I hope. He said he's telling no one but me in the office and isn't telling his kids until after the Jewish holidays.

Okay.

I ended with a typical "If there's anything I can do to help just say the word." DUMB

Today he says that he told his GF last night, and she offered to go with him for the surgery.

Nice.

He says he doesn't want her there and he can go to surgery himself. I told him that wasn't a good idea. Who knows how he'll feel afterwards and they must want someone there to release him.

Of course he asked me if I'd pick him up and of course, I said "Of course!".

Then he told me it's the same time as our big quarterly meeting, which I obviously said was less important and I didn't give a **** about, which I don't.

I just don't wanna be his cancer buddy...I mean I don't mind being supportive, I guess what I really don't want IS TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM.

But I don't see any way out of this.

How big of the time investment is that? Do you know any of his friends? Is there any pay service for that? Do you know his GF? Can you use the time somehow productive? Can you switch from : " this annoying fak" into "scared dude" evaluation?

You don't have to be his therapist. You don't have to talk with him about cancer. And you absolutely don't have to spend any more than this pick-up time with him. And you also don't have to feel responsible.

There is definitely a way to regulate that so that you don't feel ****ty. And more important is for the future: There are no spontaneous "of course". If you drive him and as a result implement that in your life, it is so worth the few hours invested into that.

Basal cell skin cancer (the good kind of skin cancer) is really no big deal. It sounds like you allowed yourself to get roped into giving him a ride, but there’s no reason for you to be involved any further than that.

@lapka thanks..time commitment isn’t a lot, maybe 3-4 hours and yes I should have more sympathy and think of him as ‘scared dude’. I’d rather assist scared dude than “dickhead”.

I met his GF at his 70th bday party in June. She’s not as bad as him but close.

@canceler yep, basal cell carcinoma which is very treatable thank god. He’s gonna have mohs surgery and cut it out. I feel bad cuz it’s on his nose and it’s big and they said it’s old. Issue is getting it before it touches bone in nose, according to him. Ugh


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As a scared and old dude..... A lot closer to death than we are.

For me it is crazy that he is still working at 70.

Jose,

You're too nice. You can't help everyone, and that includes panhandlers and crazy homeless people.

Stack more donks, say yes less often. This guy is also making you lie to all your other workmates.

There is nice from position of strength, because someone is strong enough to be nice. And there is nice from position of weakness, naivety and neediness, because someone is not brave enough to deal with discomfort of being a *****. I am pretty sure that Josie is nice in the first way.

I'm not nice! I'm not going with him because I want to help or be nice but because I can't get out of it. BTW you hit the nail on the head with making me keep his stupid secret and lying to my coworkers. Esp because he's going to tell them when it's done...I don't want to be his secret cancer buddy!

I'm still working on the homeless thing...by 'working' I mean trying to think of a solution. It's really hard and it shouldn't be. People shouldn't be without shelter. Anyway, I think the only way to actually make a change is to help one person at a time. Not much, but better than helping no people at a time.

Getting to know one person and helping them with solutions like housing, employment, valid ID, etc. (this sounds like a recipe for uncomfortableness for me...**** I generally do not like, but some things are worth being uncomfortable for.) So yeah, that's my goal before it gets too cold. Help one homeless person.

I agree, I must say yes less often.