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Old 03-06-2017, 02:21 PM   #2376
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I do read your blog on regular. I recognize many of the struggles similar to I had, that gives me somehow a feeling of connection. And I like also basically everything about a daily, mundane stuff. I mean for me this whole board defines very much my picture of normal life in USA.

But I think a blog should be more for you and not for the readers, especially since you have no chance to make money from ads here . Blogging is really very unique form of communication: very unsymmetric, basically stream from one side into the world.
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Old 03-06-2017, 03:06 PM   #2377
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yeah I know, I just don't want to be boring if anyone reads this. Thanks for the feedback. I should have a pretty good trip report from my Sequoia trip if that ends up working out
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Old 03-06-2017, 03:19 PM   #2378
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

jmakin - Sequoia National Park (if that's where you are going) is awesome. A lot of good hiking there.

Keep on blogging. I find it interesting and you write well.
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Old 03-06-2017, 03:26 PM   #2379
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

jmakin,
I enjoy reading your blog and I think it's largely because you seem to be writing for the sake of writing, rather than trying to please your audience. Don't worry about what we may or may not want to read about.
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Old 03-06-2017, 06:52 PM   #2380
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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rather than trying to please your audience. Don't worry about what we may or may not want to read about.
Yeh, I agree.

Though I hope, the next time you have a bad day, you notice the pattern of day 1: life is ****. day 2: life is ****. day 3: no post. day 4: I DID SIX THOUSAND THINGS TODAY, day 5: I DID SIX THOUSAND THINGS TODAY.
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Old 03-06-2017, 07:39 PM   #2381
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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jmakin - Sequoia National Park (if that's where you are going) is awesome. A lot of good hiking there.

Keep on blogging. I find it interesting and you write well.
Yea, it's not going to be a typical sequoia trip though, the weather has been dipping below 0 at night so it's more of a challenging the elements, hike 30 miles over 3 days type of trip. It'll be an experience if we don't die.

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jmakin,
I enjoy reading your blog and I think it's largely because you seem to be writing for the sake of writing, rather than trying to please your audience. Don't worry about what we may or may not want to read about.

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Originally Posted by Sciolist View Post
Yeh, I agree.

Though I hope, the next time you have a bad day, you notice the pattern of day 1: life is ****. day 2: life is ****. day 3: no post. day 4: I DID SIX THOUSAND THINGS TODAY, day 5: I DID SIX THOUSAND THINGS TODAY.
wow thank you for the feedback. I do write just because it feels good to put my thoughts on paper so to speak, and then re-read it later.

and lol, I know I do have that pattern. coincidentally, today I knocked out like 40 things that have been on my to-do list for a month. Friday really was the worst day I've had in a while though, just felt like a complete failure after. I studied so much and did poorly, that never happens to me.

I made the original post because I realized my school posts are probably boring to read. Not a lot else going on in my life right now though other than my mental health issues, which I still need to call a doctor about, that's the last thing on my to-do list. I have a weird aversion to making phone calls and they give me a lot of anxiety so I think that's why that's been put off for a while.
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Old 03-06-2017, 07:48 PM   #2382
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

We need more relationship drama, j.
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Old 03-06-2017, 07:56 PM   #2383
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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It'll be an experience if we don't die.
Even if you do!

Last edited by Didace; 03-06-2017 at 07:57 PM. Reason: Stay safe!
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Old 03-06-2017, 08:29 PM   #2384
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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We need more relationship drama, j.
that's some of the stuff i don't write about because it's a little embarrassing.

i don't have a lot going on either. I think about kate a lot and have been dreaming about her a lot. I sent her a drunk snapchat a few weeks ago but I know she had me blocked on there so I didn't worry about it too much about it.

i'm banging a woman that's much older than me and that's fun but it's kind of a bizarre bazaar situation. I think she really likes me which is even weirder because I know she knows there's no way we'll date. she (usually) only texts me when she's horny.

then i was texting/flirting with a girl i hooked up with last summer, and she wouldnt tell me specifics but she's pretty involved with a guy she met in england when she was abroad for a few months (the trip was the reason we lost contact). I don't have feelings for her, but she hung out last weekend under the condition "we can't have sex." Lol, ok. So we did ofc but she seemed really upset about it and I vaguely remember her being upset with me that night before we went to bed. I didn't do anything wrong but it did make me feel kinda ****ty about myself to be "the other guy" again that the girl doesn't wanna be with and just uses me to cheat. I've been that guy so many times, including with kate, and I said i wasnt gonna do it anymore but she insisted over and over she wasn't exclusive with the guy. But i can tell from her reaction that they are. I haven't heard from her.

There's been a few girls i wanted to try talking to but I just have 0 confidence lately and I feel fat (I've lost a few lbs though). It'll get better. My ex I just broke up with is posting these really insane statuses, like certifiably crazy stuff that's for attention/to make me jealous/etc. SO so glad I ended things. she still has some stuff at my place that she texted me about a month ago about but never followed through with coming by to get them. It's just an umbrella and some water shoes.

She really hates my guts and my sister's mad at me now too because it's her friend so of course she's only getting one side of things. I don't like that sister much anyway so oh well. I think that whole situation is what started the depressive spike.
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Old 03-06-2017, 08:37 PM   #2385
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Much better, thanks, it feeds all the vicarious living that goes on around here, at least vis-a-vis all of us married olds.
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Old 03-06-2017, 08:42 PM   #2386
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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We need more relationship drama, j.
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Old 03-06-2017, 10:38 PM   #2387
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Much better, thanks, it feeds all the vicarious living that goes on around here, at least vis-a-vis all of us married olds.
lol, I'll keep that in mind. I have a co-worker in his 60's that's been married 40 years that is always asking me about what's going on in my romantic life, lol.

my current romantic life is just at all time lows. I'm in "take whatever I can get and hope I get lucky" mode. I do get a lot of matches on tinder/bumble but figured out it's just because my cat is really cute.

But I'm also extremely lazy and rarely pursue. I like to be the one pursued. If I tried harder, I think I could do a lot better.
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Old 03-11-2017, 01:28 AM   #2388
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

The girl I hooked up with the other weekend is posting non stop snaps of her and her guy, who apparently is in town. it's all cutesie ****.

It kind of makes me feel like ****. I'm happy for her - I really am - but it's clear the night we had the other week, which I thought was quite enjoyable for both of us, was just an unfortunate mistake for her and just another chapter in my sad romantic life.

yet another girl ending up with her ideal guy, and me as a distraction in the meantime.

all I have right now is the cougar and that's weird as ****.

I really don't care about anything right now. It all ends the same way to me.
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Old 03-11-2017, 09:01 AM   #2389
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Cat picture? Pleeease.
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Old 03-11-2017, 05:31 PM   #2390
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I'll find some pictures when I get home, she's fairly popular on Snapchat to the point where I'm considering making her an Instagram

I've thought about it recently and if I lost her I really don't know what I would do

She's been the only real constant in my life since my dad died

She's only five so she probably has a lot of years left but she's outdoor cat so who knows
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Old 03-11-2017, 05:34 PM   #2391
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Oh, I thought lapka was asking for a pic of the cougar.
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Old 03-12-2017, 03:39 AM   #2392
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I'm happy with either cat or cougar picture.
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Old 03-12-2017, 12:14 PM   #2393
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Self pity isn't going to help. Keep fighting to be a better person and you'll be rewarded.


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Old 03-16-2017, 01:57 PM   #2394
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

sorry for no cat pics yet, ill try for tonight. i hate uploading pics from my phone.

So I'm slowly getting results back from Black Friday, the day I had my two midterms I thought I bombed. The math test I thought I did well on I got a 72 on due to all/no credit questions and making some really, really dumb errors where I basically had the correct answer but flubbed it due to arithmetic or a brain fart. I'm understanding the material much better now so I should do ok on the final tomorrow.

Then I've been depressed for two weeks about my data midterm and I looked at the solution posted, I'm not sure but I may have gotten an ~80-85. I will die of happiness if that happens. I've been working my butt off in that class since that test.
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Old 03-17-2017, 08:35 PM   #2395
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yep got an 80. Damn was on the low end of what I dared to hope for but oh well.

If i aced my math final today I got an A-. I maybe aced it unless I made stupid blunders again. If i get a 95 on DB's I get an A-. I'm probably getting at least a B+ in compilers, although I can't finish the last project. If i work my ass off this weekend I can maybe do it. I've been busting my ass all week.

Lowest grades I could possibly get are all B's. Not bad.
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Old 03-17-2017, 11:50 PM   #2396
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

How important to your future is a B v. an A?
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Old 03-18-2017, 10:43 AM   #2397
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I don't know, but i'm trying to graduate magna cum laude which is a big deal

Plus since this is the only thing going on in my life right now i'd like to do as best as i possibly can. I need to start looking at summer internships though
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Old 03-18-2017, 11:37 AM   #2398
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

even if it didnt matter at all I'd still be trying hard, i feel like **** if i don't do as well as i think i should, and i never do the bare minimum unless the maximum nets barely anymore than the bare minimum. and the boosts in self esteem i get from grades outweigh whatever extra work i have to do to achieve them, even in a vacuum where grades don't matter at all

it's like a drug

what i learned this quarter - I need to go to class and take notes. I stopped taking notes because i felt paying attention to the lectures was adequate, but I'm easily distracted so I wouldn't pay attention. then i figured why go to class if i wasn't taking notes because they post the notes online and i never review my notes anyway.

but going to every single class the last 2 weeks and obsessively taking notes has shown me there's a big difference in performance for me.
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Old 03-20-2017, 01:26 AM   #2399
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

the sequoias trip is for sure happening. the temps won't be as extreme as i initially feared. barely below freezing at worst. that's happening 1 week from tomorrow, monday.

i am feeling depressed again. I still miss kate. I looked through my snaps and my stuff I drunkenly sent her went through as read somehow, so she has unblocked me or checked my stuff since i sent the ****. but that was a while ago and no response.

it's really over and i am depressed about it. the chick I hooked up with a few weeks ago randomly unfriended me on snapchat as well, but it's probably for the best because i was getting sick of looking at her lovey dovey **** with the guy she clearly cheated on with me.

i am pretty low right now. i don't know what happens this summer - i need to look at internships, but i have been procrastinating on that. i don't know if this field is what i actually want to do. finals are on tuesday and wednesday and i probably won't prepare as well as i should. i just don't have the energy. gonna hit it hard tomorrow for final #1 but the stakes are pretty low so **** it.

cougar texted me a few days ago wanting to know when we could hang out and i honestly dont have the energy and that ****'s getting a little weird for me but i'm not sure if i want to end it completely.
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Old 03-20-2017, 01:51 AM   #2400
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