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Old 10-04-2015, 05:18 PM   #1426
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yes I agree she's manipulative and knows how to tug the heart strings, but not stupid. Shes a really bad one.
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:19 PM   #1427
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I don't really have a support system, oh well. Like right now it's pretty much this thread and your guys' comments, thanks.

I'm trying to catch up in math and I'm a whole week behind (missed all of last week and a lot of work too, because of the abortion) which I think is most of a chapter, because I wasn't getting it already and was distracted. It's really abstract stuff and I'm not getting. I don't wanna drop and take a W but I may have to. I don't know how much that'll hurt me. Should probably just try to get a C if I can... pretty sure I could. I don't know.
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:21 PM   #1428
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Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

J,

It seems like you at some level enjoy playing the martyr in situations like this, maybe because you feel it excuses/justifies some of your own bad behavior. Maybe you feel like you deserve it and want/need to punish yourself.

You knew what would happen here. You say you don't want to get angry again, but you are bringing it on yourself. Why? Iirc you did similar things with Melissa, right?

Until you figure that stuff out somehow, I suspect you'll keep repeating the same patterns.
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:23 PM   #1429
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I thought I explained why.. that isn't it at all. I handled this way, way better than the Melissa thing which was different in its own way because she was an actual sadist and a sociopath and I didn't know anything about anything.

Lol, I just love her. Seriously. I think she could be a good person if she tried. She's not gonna, so that's that. I held out a hope because I really believe she cares about me a lot.
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:24 PM   #1430
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Lol, I just love her. Seriously. I think she could be a good person if she tried. She's not gonna, so that's that. I held out a hope because I really believe she cares about me a lot.

Last edited by Banned4lyfe; 10-04-2015 at 05:28 PM. Reason: K
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:25 PM   #1431
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Please don't troll this blog.
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:40 PM   #1432
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Originally Posted by jmakin View Post
You need to leave right now, think about things REALLY hard, and then get back to me, and if I'm feeling like listening I will.
I'm not sure what you stand to gain by having her to get back to you. Time to just break off all contact with her if you don't want to go through this every week.
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:41 PM   #1433
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I kinda just wanted to avoid her having a total meltdown at that point, I'm not sure how serious I was when I said it. Right now I'm thinking basically Jesus christ would have to come down himself and declare her a virgin for me to even consider that this'll ever work out. I'm still processing it
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:49 PM   #1434
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Originally Posted by jmakin View Post
I don't really have a support system, oh well. Like right now it's pretty much this thread and your guys' comments, thanks.

I'm trying to catch up in math and I'm a whole week behind (missed all of last week and a lot of work too, because of the abortion) which I think is most of a chapter, because I wasn't getting it already and was distracted. It's really abstract stuff and I'm not getting. I don't wanna drop and take a W but I may have to. I don't know how much that'll hurt me. Should probably just try to get a C if I can... pretty sure I could. I don't know.
Don't drop. Work. Now. If you need help in math, just post here. I am pretty sure I and many here can answer basically any questions you have about math.

It is perfect now, to concentrate on something else.

And I don't think that you love her. You love a person with her appearance and very different personal qualities. You tried again and again to give her an opportunity to become this person. But she is not that. You wrote that she loves you and cares about you. She does not. She says she does. But there is not a person in this world, that will not see her behaviour as extremely "I don't care how he feels". Put it behind you and concentrate on math.

Last edited by lapka; 10-04-2015 at 05:55 PM.
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:51 PM   #1435
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

One of the things you said in a post earlier this week was that you gave her another chance based upon the fact that she showed a great deal of remorse over cheating on you. What happened to that remorse?

I'm not trying to be unkind, or beat you up over this, I'm just reminding you how you arrived at your decision.
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:55 PM   #1436
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Uh, in theory not dropping sounds best, but unfortunately, even for transfer, even for UCI, grades are super competitive nowadays.

If you're serious that you might get a C, then you gotta think about your gpa imo.

I think the education system has gotten pretty awful with everything being about the application and not the education, but what can you do?
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Old 10-04-2015, 05:57 PM   #1437
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

The remorse is still there, I never question that, what I was questioning whether she was the type of person that would feel that remorse so strongly that it would prevent her from behaving the same way again. That question is answered now.

Lapka, mostly I'm still working my way through subspaces of vector spaces..

I struggle with set notation, I can figure that out but here's a problem that distressed me:

V = R^4 (real vectors in 4 dimensional space, IDK how to type the notation for that)

and S is the set of all vectors of the form (x1, 0, x2, 2)

is S a subset of the given vector space V?

Here's the solution explanation:

Let a = (x1, 0, x2, 2) and b = (y1, 0, y2, 2)

a + b = (x1 + y1, 0, x2 + y2, 4)

"Note that a + b does not meet the required form for elements in S, that is, if we add 2 elements in S, the result is not in V. Thus, S is not closed under addition, and it is not a subspace of V."

How the **** is that result not in V? That's a 4 dimensional vector, is it not? Is it because of the constants? as you can see, I'm quite lost.

This is just section 4.3. Spanning sets I get, kinda, gotta review. We did wronskian matrices or whatever those are, those aren't too bad. but there's like 12 sections and I'm pretty sure he's gotta be well into chapter 5 now, which is linear transformations.

Last edited by jmakin; 10-04-2015 at 06:02 PM.
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Old 10-04-2015, 06:01 PM   #1438
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I think you wrote "had" instead of "add" and (I'm just answering fast to try to get the first right answer - at risk of being wrong, I should look it up)

I think you're confusing subspace and subset.
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Old 10-04-2015, 06:02 PM   #1439
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakin View Post
The remorse is still there, I never question that, what I was questioning whether she was the type of person that would feel that remorse so strongly that it would prevent her from behaving the same way again. That question is answered now.

Lapka, mostly I'm still working my way through subspaces of vector spaces..

I struggle with set notation, I can figure that out but here's a problem that distressed me:

V = R^4 (real vectors in 4 dimensional space, IDK how to type the notation for that)

and S is the set of all vectors of the form (x1, 0, x2, 2)

is S a subset of the given vector space V?

Here's the solution explanation:

Let a = (x1, 0, x2, 2) and b = (y1, 0, y2, 2)

a + b = (x1 + y1, 0, x2 + y2, 4)

"Note that a + b does not meet the required form for elements in S, that is, if we had 2 elements in S, the result is not in V. Thus, S is not closed under addition, and it is not a subspace of V."

How the **** is that result not in V? That's a 4 dimensional vector, is it not?

This is just section 4.3. Spanning sets I get, kinda, gotta review. We did wronskian matrices or whatever those are, those aren't too bad. but there's like 12 sections and I'm pretty sure he's gotta be well into chapter 5 now, which is linear transformations.
I think that in what you wrote in quotes is a typo. It should be like that

"Note that a + b does not meet the required form for elements in S, that is, if we had 2 elements in S, the result is not in S. Thus, S is not closed under addition, and it is not a subspace of V."

Do you understand it so?
I can elaborate more.

edit: Pls notice that S is subset but NOT subspace of V.
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Old 10-04-2015, 06:03 PM   #1440
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yea I think that is what's happening.

The definition of a subspace as given by the book is that it's a smaller space of a larger vector space. Okay, get that. Vector spaces have 10 fundamental axioms, got it. All we need to know is if a vector is closed under addition and scalar multiplication, then it is a subspace of V. OKAY. got it.

I just don't see how that is not closed under addition.
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Old 10-04-2015, 06:04 PM   #1441
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by lapka View Post
I think that in what you wrote in quotes is a typo. It should be like that

"Note that a + b does not meet the required form for elements in S, that is, if we had 2 elements in S, the result is not in S. Thus, S is not closed under addition, and it is not a subspace of V."

Do you understand it so?
I can elaborate more.
Yes, you're right, sorry.

Okay, I get it now. I misread the whole section somehow, lol. Thanks.

If the result were somehow a + b = (x1 + y1, 0, x2 + y2, 2), it would still be contained in S. Right?
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Old 10-04-2015, 06:05 PM   #1442
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yeah

Quote:
A way to characterize subspaces is that they are closed under linear combinations. That is, a nonempty set W is a subspace if and only if every linear combination of (finitely many) elements of W also belongs to W. Conditions 2 and 3 for a subspace are simply the most basic kinds of linear combinations.
It's part of the definition of a subspace that they are closed under linear combinations. Just being a piece contained within a given space doesn't necessarily make it a subspace.
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Old 10-04-2015, 06:06 PM   #1443
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Originally Posted by jmakin View Post
Yes, you're right, sorry.

Okay, I get it now. I misread the whole section somehow, lol. Thanks.

If the result were somehow a + b = (x1 + y1, 0, x2 + y2, 2), it would still be contained in S. Right?
exactly. It is this requirement of being closed under addition.
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Old 10-04-2015, 06:07 PM   #1444
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yea, that was pretty epic dumb confusion on my part. Lol. Thank you

These sections are hard because there's hardly any problems to do, just reading proofs and examples and trying to understand what's going on on a deep level.

Ok third edit sorry... I'm not gonna drop, he gives a lot of wiggle room and I already have an 88% out the gate. there's one take home test and one group test, automatic A's. If I **** up another test there's the final. I like this material, I like abstract mathematics, my brain's just not operating at full capacity lately. But last weekend I managed to study 20 hours for my comp arch test even with the funeral, preggo ****, and blowing out my tires, so I think i can pull similar sessions with math if i have to.

Last edited by jmakin; 10-04-2015 at 06:13 PM.
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Old 10-04-2015, 06:12 PM   #1445
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Go, go go! And I hope you aim for an A.
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Old 10-04-2015, 06:14 PM   #1446
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Good man, you can do it.
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Old 10-04-2015, 06:17 PM   #1447
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Cool. Doesn't sound like there's much chance you get a C.
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Old 10-04-2015, 06:18 PM   #1448
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Thanks everyone and for anyone who reads this, it has helped me a lot.

If I do drop below my 4.0 this semester it won't be catastrophic. I just have 2 classes left to take, with ~70 units of A's I think if I got 2 C's it would only drop me down to a 3.9 or something. Might hurt if I apply to berkeley though

I need to start giving myself more credit, I started to despair this afternoon already and last semester I was facing some long, long odds and I managed to pull myself together and write an entire application as well as dealing with my other classes and my relationship + job. I don't know where it comes from, I feel like I have nothing left and then my body just goes for it.

I'm aware i'm not the smartest person, definitely not on this forum, but I have a lot of willpower (in some areas, I don't know about drinking yet).
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Old 10-04-2015, 06:21 PM   #1449
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

It's called being young. Enjoy it while it lasts. It's one of the few upsides to all the emotional carp you have to deal with.
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Old 10-04-2015, 06:21 PM   #1450
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Just move on, there is nothing here to salvage. From the tone of your posts it seems you are more hung up on her than the other way around... She obviously doesn't need you, if not for the child things would probably be done already. Cut the cord, trying to make this work is not going to be good for you and will just end up in the same place.

She might play dumb verbally but her actions show exactly what she wants.
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