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Old 06-21-2014, 07:52 PM   #551
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Originally Posted by El_Timon View Post
For some reason I thought he was your good buddy. Did I read that wrong before?
Used to be, i think he still thinks we are
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Old 06-22-2014, 01:46 AM   #552
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I just read my first blog post on here mentioning my ingrown toenail and it's worth noting, that like, 10 months later, my ex is still literally a pain.

her cutting my toenails caused it to start getting ingrown, and i have had to have the toenail cut (which is a brutally painful procedure) 3 times now. I got it cut last week and now it's infected. ****ing moron.

My doctor wants me to get surgery and I told him if I have to come in every 6 months to do this, so be it, we're gonna keep doing it until it grows back right. I'm never having a surgery again unless it's life or death.

he just laughed and said "ok see you in 6 months."
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Old 06-25-2014, 09:44 AM   #553
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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like 5 minutes. lol sorry for taking long to respond. I have been busy with work and stressed out.
damn that's a lot of manoeuvring in one day then!
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Old 06-25-2014, 03:19 PM   #554
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I just saw the pic for the first time of where you got your liscense when i was randomly reading a few posts. congrats!
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Old 06-26-2014, 10:09 PM   #555
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

thanks bryce, and yea i got your PM, i'd hang out with you
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Old 06-26-2014, 10:33 PM   #556
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

phone update:

melissa came over today to collect her money. Was cordial, but I think she expected something else. She weirdly gave me a "present" that I'm pretty sure she just grabbed out of her car on the way in that was one of those gag fake parking citation thingies.

She said it was fine if I wanted to pay the cancellation and keep the phone. I said ok, cool, handed her the money, and she asked if I had anything to say to her. I said "Nope, goodbye" and showed her out. She got REALLY fat. fatter than I've ever seen her - a good 130+ easily, and she's only 4'11". She thought I was staring at her boobs but really I was just thinking "holy **** she's fat as ****."

Felt good about it.

Last edited by jmakin; 06-26-2014 at 10:46 PM.
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Old 06-27-2014, 12:38 AM   #557
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

cool! sorry about melissa!
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Old 06-27-2014, 02:17 AM   #558
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakinmecrzy View Post
Got in a fairly serious relationship with her for the better part of a year and then about 6 months of a tedious breakup.

It's hard to summarize it all here, but on the surface she seemed really awesome. I still think without all the stupid controlling BS/cheating/manipulation there could be a universe where we'd be pretty good friends.

but deep down, the whole thing was a stupid mess. I slowly lost friends, freedom, and eventually felt like she couldn't even be trusted to be alone for a night without me, and she'd hint darkly about that ****. I had a great deal of stress last fall with family illness, death, school, work, and then her cheaty/shady BS. Eventually I broke it off, regretted it, got back with her a few weeks later and the shadiness had escalated tenfold.

It gets me worked up talking/thinking about it so I'm not gonna go into great detail but the short version is after we got back together I found out she was cheating on me with several guys, over the course of our entire relationship, including her ex (who would pay her 50 bucks for sex), a guy I work with, her neighbor, and the guy she's currently with. Who knows what else, stuff kept coming out the more I pried into it and I became obsessed with finding out everything.

I don't regret looking into everything but a recent trip on shrooms (had never done them) really opened up a lot of repressed emotions about this and I think it hurt me much deeper than I even realized. I still, like 7-8 months later, have a considerable amount of rage about the whole thing.

She still thinks the whole thing is my fault because I wouldn't commit to marrying her. It still gets me all ****ing pissed and when I was on shrooms I realized what I really wanted from her was remorse, but then I thought about how people who are actually victims of some serious **** like serial murderers and stuff never get that in their lives and they can still move on (this is not comparable obviously).

Sooo whatever I'm trying to move on and not think about it as much. I still have moments where I slip into angry thought patterns and try to acknowledge them without repressing. I had no idea how much **** I had repressed until I took those shrooms, like holy ****.


like 5 minutes. lol sorry for taking long to respond. I have been busy with work and stressed out.
Damn that's heavy. Sounds like an escape though
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Old 06-27-2014, 05:18 PM   #559
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Decided yesterday that I am definitely drinking too much/often and I am going to give it a little rest. This has happened only two times previously in my life - Once, about 5 years ago, during a period of heavy depression, I quit drinking for 6 months. Then, a few months after my dad's death, I decided that it was getting a bit much. I think I drank more heavily during that period than any other time in my life and it kind of scared me.

I don't have a problem moderating my drinking but this time is a little scarier for some reason. I'm maybe drinking 5-7 drinks a day when my "normal" drinking is probably around half of that. Yesterday I started drinking in the AM, which I never do, and ended up becoming very sick later in the evening after I had woken up. I decided it's time to take a week off and then reevaluate.

I've said numerous times itt I don't believe I have a problem but I do believe I have the potential to develop a problem if I don't moderate myself and take a step back and go "What is this doing for me?" All in all I don't think it's the alcohol that is the problem, but more my ability to cope with boredom/stress/anxiety/physical pain and choosing healthier ways to manage that, like exercising, and leaving alcohol as a recreational device rather than a crutch, which leads to problems.

This has been going on for probably the last 6 weeks. Severe stress from school, finances, and work I think is what's triggering this.

So today instead of drinking I got my coffee in the AM like I usually do, had a weird urge to drink around noon because my neck has been killing me, decided to finish some household chores and also demolished a desk that my sister was too lazy to throw away so she just left it in the driveway for a week. My landlord will be happy about that.

All in all pretty good day. We'll see if I can make it a week.
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Old 06-28-2014, 04:41 PM   #560
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I slept really well last night. Sex feels a lot better sober.
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Old 06-29-2014, 02:08 PM   #561
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

It's day 3 and I am having (very) minor withdrawal symptoms, but they are significant enough to where I can't ignore them. My body is in complete discomfort, I'm sweating and a tiny bit shaky.

Definitely a large wakeup call for me. I didn't even know you could build an alcohol dependence by drinking nightly, I thought that only happened to people who drank in the morning/all day every day. I told myself after I got off painkillers that I'd never be physically dependent on another substance again, so it's good I am aware of this early and in the future will not treat alcohol consumption with such a cavalier attitude.

I am probably overreacting a little bit, but I know myself and my potential to take things too far.

Gonna go to the gym for the first time in a month and try to sweat this off.

Last edited by jmakin; 06-29-2014 at 02:17 PM.
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Old 06-29-2014, 11:57 PM   #562
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

It is far easier to develop a significant level of physical dependence to alcohol than most people realise. I am just about to complete an alcohol-free month, something I try to do at least once a year. I find that it helps me deal with the seasonal downswing in mood that I always encounter in winter (June, July is cold and dreary in Melbourne). I have also noticed how much better my sleep quality is when I'm not drinking. My plan going forward is to try and restrict my drinking to a maximum of three days a week, and to limit it to social occasions only (no drinking at home by myself).
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Old 06-30-2014, 04:45 PM   #563
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Gnarly man, good luck.

Last night i had 2 beers to mitigate my symptoms. I had a low fever all day yesterday and was sweating like crazy. I feel better today.
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Old 07-04-2014, 12:18 AM   #564
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

**** it i am drinking. Will deal with this later.

MURICA.

Melissa called me last night and 'wanted to talk about the phone.' I asked what the **** is there to talk about, she wouldn't say, and then figured out I wasn't alone and said we'd talk later. I said why the **** do I need to be alone? and she said she wanted to 'meet me in person' which just meant she wanted to **** last night.

jfc. i'll never be rid of her.
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Old 07-04-2014, 01:24 AM   #565
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Bang her and then throw her a 50 after. That's the expert play
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Old 07-09-2014, 04:50 AM   #566
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I'm a really ****ed up individual.
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Old 07-10-2014, 10:23 AM   #567
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What happened?

Sent from my GT-I9100 using 2+2 Forums
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Old 07-10-2014, 10:56 AM   #568
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

And where's the annoying FB posts thread?
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Old 07-10-2014, 12:05 PM   #569
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

A while back you mentioned you were taking some computer classes...

How are those working out for you?
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Old 07-10-2014, 12:10 PM   #570
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Uh sorry I didn't mean to vaguebook.

It's confirmed melissa reads this and I ended up ****ing her again. That's all I really have to say about that. I don't wanna be mad anymore, everything's fine with me, (according to her) she's accepted we are not going to be together. She likes/loves the guy she's with so she has that but says things with me are different.

She did admit she has no conscience. She thinks I'm able to understand her more than anyone else because I too don't have much of one. I don't know what else to say about it.


She bought a handgun and i told her that's an awful, awful idea. I don't think she'd hurt me at all but she would definitely hurt herself if she decided things got bad enough. I don't want her to do that.

My classes went well, I'm registering for new ones today. Doing a year of C++ then hopefully transferring soon after that.
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Old 07-10-2014, 06:53 PM   #571
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Are you in school full time for CS, or just doing a class or two each semester? Do you plan to go into an IT career later on?
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Old 07-10-2014, 09:34 PM   #572
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Full time but all i can fit in is one comp sci class, a math class, and a few general ed.

Next semester is pure math/CS
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Old 07-11-2014, 01:07 AM   #573
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Rad, pretty intense to be working full time and doing a CS degree as well. GL, this is an entertaining thread
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Old 07-11-2014, 01:47 AM   #574
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yo JM one alcoholic to another if you ever want to get clean. Come to Colorado and I will take you here.



And we won't come back until you stop shaking.

Take care of yourself mang.
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Old 07-11-2014, 04:40 AM   #575
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Thank you, even though I don't believe I'm a full blown alcoholic yet -

I had the first night out for a while tonight, with Minimalist, who was in town for the week. We had a good time.

He told me I should share this story so I will - while I was on my way to melissa's house, for the first time in a while, I thought there was a nonzero chance I would be shot. Of course some stupid part of me soldiered on, and before I came in, I took one last look at the sky, just in case, because if I were to die I'd want to look at the sky before I went.

That's why I posted that I'm a ****ed up individual. I willingly walked myself into that kind of a situation for a little bit of pussy with a girl who has only treated me with disrespect over the last few years.
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