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Old 03-22-2014, 01:35 PM   #451
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Weird aside but I've noticed when I get into these states of extreme emotional duress, I start to feel like a sociopath. I don't quite know how to describe it but I lose all compassion and empathy for anyone and kind of just shut down emotionally, other than anger.

I've noticed it a few times before but the last few days it's been really pronounced.

Also I will say if there is a bright side to this, she almost certainly hates me now if she didn't before, and if I ever have a weak moment and hit her up for sex, there's no ****ing way she'll want to, so that's good.
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Old 03-22-2014, 05:15 PM   #452
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakinmecrzy View Post
Yesterday, I find out that this same friend of mine that slept with my ex, full on raped the girl I'm currently sleeping with. She told it to me in pretty graphic detail and I have no reason to believe she's lying about it, and I've heard similar stories from other girls about this same guy but I never believed them.
Ugh. Like, just recently? Or before you guys started ****ing? What were the circumstances?
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Old 03-22-2014, 05:16 PM   #453
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

A few days ago.

She hooks up with him sporadically and lately he's been very drunk and aggressive. According to her the first time it happened he tried to rip off her pants as soon as she got there and when she said stop he wouldn't but eventually did.

The last time it happened, and it baffles me she went back, but he didn't stop and physically forced her, and according to her she just stopped struggling because he's stronger than her.

Really sad **** and has made me question my views on rape and assault in general because she really has no recourse at all.

Last edited by jmakin; 03-22-2014 at 05:38 PM.
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Old 03-22-2014, 07:03 PM   #454
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She shouldn't have come back after the 1st incident and I don't think it's all that uncommon to have no empathy or sociopathic feelings towards someone who has screwed you over as much as that girl has.
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Old 03-22-2014, 11:06 PM   #455
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yea, she shouldn't have, and I think this has happened multiple times, but she's young and dumb. I don't blame her all that much, there's really no excuse for that kind of behavior. But I guess the last time was bad enough that she's not going back again.

I was reflecting a lot on my decisions today because I'm not really sure how I get into such ****ed situations. Like, constantly. I don't think it's any particularly bad decision making process - I think I usually make pretty good ones - it's just that I stay in situations for far too long, maybe? I don't know.

Like I know a lot of her behavior has nothing to do with me but I just look back and think of what could have prevented all of this heartache and anger. I think a lot too about the irish girl I dated for 3 weeks in '12. We still talk, although less frequently now that she has a serious-ish boyfriend. There was/is a real connection there, but it just had no chance of working because there's an ocean and two continents separating us.

Still, I think a lot about those 3 weeks and about her, and how she's a perfect template of what I'm looking for. I know the first several weeks of a relationship, you kind of have rose tinted glasses, but I think I've known her long enough now (about 2 years) to say that I think we would have done pretty well.

She's nice, funny, kind of plain looking, likes to have a good time, fiercely loyal, loves to drink. She's not flirty with guys and knows/respects boundaries. I'd feel perfectly fine if I was dating a girl like her, if she told me she was gonna go out of town with some friends for a weekend. I wouldn't worry about her.

I want, eventually, a girl like THAT. I always kind of hoped our paths would cross again, but it's really unlikely, unless I hit some kind of massive windfall and am able to relocate on the other side of the world.

Honestly, I almost would, for a girl like that. It's really kind of ****ing sad to me that it worked out with her the way it did, and then a month or two later I meet the psycho midget whore from hell. I dunno. Rambling, weird thoughts I've had.

disclaimer: I really don't see myself as some unfortunate victim. I entirely deserve 99% of this ****.
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Old 03-22-2014, 11:21 PM   #456
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

For something more interesting, a really ****ing weird co-worker I work with has been acting weird for several months.

Like, I'm not talking normal weird. He walks around his neighborhood in a Nazi stormtrooper outfit when he walks his dogs. He's bisexual and really confused about it. He's fascinated by trannies and is a very unusual dude all around.

He's developed a huge crush on a really prepubescent 16 year old boy we work with. It's ****ing creepy. This kid is all this weirdo talks about, and we've all kinda ignored it as him ****ing around.

Well, me and another dude were bored and decided to **** with him and were prowling his facebook. We saw a lot of weird facebook profiles commenting on all his ****, and we know he doesn't have any friends, so we did some digging. He has a history of making fake facebook profiles and has been caught a few times doing it, but weirdly, no one gave him too much **** for it.

Well hoooooly ****. We've found a network of at least a dozen profiles he's made, all who comment on each other, have differing relationships with each other, some that go back a year. They're all updated frequently and are clearly him based on their subtle-ish nazi references and names they've given. A few have his last name.

One particularly disturbing one is the likeness of a tranny who has like 500 followers, a lot of which are weirdos who comment on all of his ****. I'm so incredibly weirded out and fascinated by it, but also horrified.

He's a really dumb dude (or so I thought) but the level of catfishing here is really advanced and it's clearly him behind it. I've worked with him for 10 years so I know him pretty well by now.
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Old 03-23-2014, 01:48 AM   #457
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

wow...I've spent the better part of the day reading this entire blog. Subbed!!!!
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Old 03-23-2014, 02:12 AM   #458
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If I understand this correctly, the girl you sometimes sleep with also hooks up with your good friend, who also happens to work with you. Apparently (who could have thought?) this is creating some conflict because he's rapey, though she may be enabling him because she keeps getting back for more.

On top of that you have some neo nazi multiple personality weirdo as a coworker. And the whole drama with the ex to top it off.

I wonder, how do you end up with such a colorful palette of characters being part of your life? The answer, more often than not, is that it's because you want it. For some reason those are the kinds of people or situations that you like, want, or crave.

I can relate, as I used to be that way when I was younger. I hung out with some very interesting smart people but the kinds of things they were doing (very heavy drinking and drugs) were getting me into a lot of trouble. As soon as I started distancing myself from those people things got much better. I went for almost flunking out of college to getting funded to go to grad school, and put my life generally in order.

What I'm trying to say is that you have to make a conscious decision to surround yourself with people who are the kind you want to become. People that you look up to. You keep wondering why this kind of stuff happens to you? Because you are surrounded by people who enable your behaviour, the ones that you are trying to get away from. You already have to fight a battle for self control with yourself, don't make it worse by having people around you who encourage your destructive behavior.

Or, as Dids would say, get better friends. Sounds like a dumb reduction of the concept, but it is in fact the gist of it.
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Old 03-23-2014, 03:50 AM   #459
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I'm not sure about the neo-nazi who may have never acted irl on his pedoness, but something needs to be done about the rapist.

The rapist is someone you work with? And he raped the girl you are currently sleeping with?

Ferry boat to Balboa, right?
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Old 03-23-2014, 04:36 AM   #460
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I'll figure out how to deal with him, I haven't formulated a solid plan yet

ET that is a good point but i'm not sure what you mean re: enabling me.
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Old 03-23-2014, 12:04 PM   #461
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakinmecrzy View Post
I don't think it's any particularly bad decision making process - I think I usually make pretty good ones.
I'm not going to go looking for them all, but c'mon. Off the top of my head - not breaking off all contact with your ex, regularly getting black out drunk, banging a chick that is also banging a co-worker/friend... These are not one-off mistakes. You do each again and again.
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Old 03-23-2014, 12:06 PM   #462
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I DID break off contact with my ex. She was harassing me for weeks with me ignoring it until she broke into my god damn home. You can nitpick those - getting blackout drunk (again I think my definition is different than yours) in your mid 20's is not at all a weird thing. Sleeping with a chick that's banging someone else, again, not necessarily a bad decision.
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Old 03-23-2014, 01:27 PM   #463
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You might be able to get the gay nazi to take care of himself the way Kirk did with NOMAD.
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Old 03-23-2014, 01:36 PM   #464
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakinmecrzy View Post
I'll figure out how to deal with him, I haven't formulated a solid plan yet

ET that is a good point but i'm not sure what you mean re: enabling me.
By enabling you I meant that they make you think that some of your behavior is fine. Like sleeping with the same girl as a friend and coworker. That is far from normal, but you don't think so because some of the people you hang out with consider it to be OK.
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Old 03-23-2014, 02:16 PM   #465
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

But that's not even a source of the conflict here - the main one is that he ****ed my ex while I was with her.
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Old 03-23-2014, 08:20 PM   #466
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Man, the dick comments are really getting to me, because I KNOW I DON'T HAVE A SMALL DICK.

I've measured it - I'm a healthy 6 3/4"" base to shaft, full rager. Maybe 6 1/2 on an off day. Girth, I'd say above average. I'm using pornstars as my baseline here, and I can watch those and not feel inadequate. It's PERFECTLY AVERAGE. In fact, above average. I'm a full inch above average! I dunno where these chicks are finding these massive dongs everywhere but ffs give a man credit where credit is due.

And height, too. That's another thing. I'm 5' 10" and 1/2. That's actually exactly the national average. So **** all you mother****ing ****s who say under 6' is short. No.

Just a dumb rant. I actually have a healthy self image when it comes to my appearance, but lately, it's been under attack. My hair seems to be thinning a bit, my hairline is definitely receding, and this young chick I'm ****ing said one of her friends said I "look like a dad."

jesus. people are retarded.
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:08 PM   #467
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I would imagine if I was a girl and really wanted my ex bf to get pissed off, telling him my new guy has a way bigger dick would be right at the top of my list.

Also, +1 on what El Timon said about you surrounding yourself with people that cause drama. You're changing all these other areas in your life for the better, why not change your company?

Also, banging some chick who's also banging your coworker at the same time is not typical or normal.
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:13 PM   #468
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yea, if it were an office, I'd be inclined to agree, but the type of job I work isn't exactly normal either, and is really, really casual. Basically everyone there are friends. I basically don't even have a boss.
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Old 03-23-2014, 09:56 PM   #469
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Captain's test in the AM. Considerably anxious. Gotta wake up at 5:30 am to drive to San Diego, so hopefully the drive won't wear me out too much before the test.

Studying now and I feel prepared but just really nervous. I've passed the damn thing before, too, so it should be cake, but idk. My entire future rests on this.

What I'm REALLY worried about is failing 1 or two modules and then having to drive back there again to retake them. I'm not even certain my car will make it there without breaking down.
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Old 03-24-2014, 02:51 AM   #470
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Did you pass?
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Old 03-24-2014, 08:21 AM   #471
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

about to leave now for the 2 hour drive to san diego... looks like it's gonna rain, hopefully not because that'll make traffic horrible.
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Old 03-24-2014, 05:39 PM   #472
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

let me put it this way: if that test was the death star and I'm an x wing, i totally dropped a proton torpedo down its thermal exhaust port.

Rules of the Road (closed book navigation rules/sound signals/identifying lights) 90% to pass - 30/30 100%

Deck General and Safety (General boat handling questions, stability, types of line, anchoring, firefighting, survival at sea, regulations, pollution, communications, etc etc etc.) - 70% to pass - 66/70 94.2%

Navigation General (Questions about aids to navigation, buoys, lights, weather systems, general navigation knowledge) 70% to pass - 19/20 95%

Plotting (They give you a chart and ask you a few questions about the chart, questions regarding a course to steer in x current, how long will it take to get to x location if you're on this heading, etc. lot of trig) 70% to pass - 9/10 90%

Man. I have never done that well on this test. During the plotting, I had a moment of despair when I forgot how to do set and drift problems, which deal with current. Then I remembered vectors from trig and all was well. That was the only section I didn't study and basically just went off knowledge I had from years and years ago. Probably wasn't wise in hindsight.

BOOM! Now I apply for my license this week and hopefully in 4 weeks get sworn in as a captain.
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Old 03-24-2014, 07:46 PM   #473
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Congrats, jmakin!

Also very glad you got that button back, even if you had to break out your pimp hand to do it.
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Old 03-24-2014, 08:32 PM   #474
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Thanks.

My ex called me today and got me all riled up again. She told me it really wasn't cool what I did the other night, and I lost it. I told her I know that dumbass probably bought whatever bull**** she told him anyway, and it probably didn't even affect her, and besides, she needed to get the message of what I am willing to do if she ****s with my ****.

She said it still wasn't cool and if I continue she'll **** with me. I said, "Bring it. What do you have on me?"

The best she could come up with is cancelling my phone line. This cracked me up, because I've been asking her for months to do that exact thing.

Glad even with me acting impulsively, I had enough foresight to know she didn't have the capability to **** with me that badly. I went off on her pretty good and told her she didn't have the ****ing balls to tell me what I did wrong when our entire relationship was one string of ***** entering her vagina after the other.

Now she's got me all riled up on what was supposed to be a good day. Not gonna let it bother me.
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:28 PM   #475
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Congrats on the test (Great shot, kid! That was one in a million).

You really gotta get that phone cancelled (don't give her your new #), get any miscellaneous belongings back to each other, and give each other no excuse to make contact. After a few months of not speaking at all, you'll start to forget why you ever got your panties all in a bunch about her. That won't happen if the two of you keep finding reasons to talk, which only serves to make you furious.
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