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Old 03-06-2019, 10:17 PM   #4526
marknfw
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

wherever you go, there you are
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Old 03-07-2019, 03:36 AM   #4527
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Not only the guilt but you can't escape from your own history.

People here give you advice about cutting off contact with attractive women but it doesn't mean they'd be any better at actually doing it than you.

Was persian a typo?

And are all your friends crapass?
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Old 03-07-2019, 07:10 AM   #4528
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jalfrezi View Post
Was persian a typo?
BEEYOFT!
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Old 03-07-2019, 11:12 PM   #4529
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Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

My friends are just mostly jerks and/or washouts. I have one good friend that lives overseas, a few formerly close friends that have mostly moved on with their lives. But yea the people in my immediate circle are kind of a burden.

My best current friend sees me as his best friend and he loves me a lot but man our paths are diverging super quickly. And his story doesnt seem like it has a happy ending unless he gets his **** together

Yea i probably sound like a crappy friend but iím a loner. Id do anything for the guy - but sometimes its hard to sit around and watch someone do absolutely no favors to themselves, complain about life, and then resent you for your successes. Ive seen it before and idk if itll happen with this guy but it usually does

Last edited by jmakin; 03-07-2019 at 11:17 PM.
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Old 03-07-2019, 11:13 PM   #4530
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I feel like I have a lot of **** going on in my mind so i did a little digging through my contacts and found a shrooms connect through like a friend of a friend of a friend of a guy i used to hang out with.

Shroom cry incoming probably. I just need to work some **** out in my mind and i had such profound realizations about myself last time and feel like itís due again.
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Old 03-08-2019, 03:31 AM   #4531
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Shrooms are brilliant every now and again, at least they were when I was younger. A groups of us used to go picking regularly every autumn.

Last edited by jalfrezi; 03-08-2019 at 03:41 AM.
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Old 03-08-2019, 03:34 AM   #4532
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Should I be following your twitch for your shroom cry? Do you play hearthstone while tripping? Couldn't imagine gaming while tripping personally.

GL!
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Old 03-08-2019, 10:19 AM   #4533
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Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

No probably not - i got enough for a few large doses though, so maybe on the second or third one i might stream, but i doubt it, seems too prone to bad things happening

Last time i took the whole eighth and honestly i had a rough gameplan going in but it all went out the window very quickly. I tried to lay in the dark and listen to music but the music was too much to handle.
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Old 03-10-2019, 01:32 AM   #4534
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Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

So i long suspected S was cheating on me with one of my best friends (who she used to date)

At the time i knew something weird was happening but let it go because i didnt want to know. But over the last several months - talking to him, his friends, and a few other people about it - the pieces were almost together.

Now his wife is asking me about it at dinner in a way that suggests she suspected something too and literally the **** she told me filled in every last piece of the puzzle and i dont know what to tell her but she saw i was getting upset and i think she knows now too

I was trying not to give too many details bc i didnt want to destroy a marriage but **** him. Im more pissed at S though, shes a moron. Hes just an idiot thats destroying his marriage

Im trying not to drink tonight but i still have several more hours of this and im just kind of pissed and all the other people here i dont know at all. Maybe ill **** his wife tonight, **** it

Last edited by jmakin; 03-10-2019 at 01:37 AM.
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Old 03-10-2019, 02:16 AM   #4535
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Not clear to me that screwing his wife will make the situation or your feelings about it any better, J.
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Old 03-10-2019, 03:14 AM   #4536
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

This is brutal

Birthday girl is hitting on me hard too, i dont know her and am not attracted/not in the mood at all
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Old 03-10-2019, 03:17 AM   #4537
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Friends wife is legit barely keepin it together too, i can tell somethings really wrong with them

That cant possibly be my fault, what exactly is my role in this situation?
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Old 03-10-2019, 03:53 AM   #4538
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

donít get involved in other peoplesí marriages. especially friends.
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Old 03-10-2019, 03:55 AM   #4539
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Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Im not trying to, she was asking me some questions and i answered and realized too late what was happening

Like do i try to protect him when hes obviously caught ****ing my ex? I dont ****ing know but i salvaged as best as i could
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Old 03-10-2019, 04:00 AM   #4540
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

At least hes acting like a drunk fool
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Old 03-10-2019, 05:04 AM   #4541
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Are you on your phone in the toilet a lot there?
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Old 03-10-2019, 05:06 AM   #4542
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Nah I didnít know anyone there except my friend and his wife I was just texting because no one was really talking to me, I also was throwing up all afternoon before I came so I wasnít in a great mood to begin with. Probably was pretty rude but oh well
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Old 03-10-2019, 05:13 AM   #4543
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

When i go to these things now i just feel like i absolutely cannot relate to other people in any way whatsoever, dont feel like talking much even when people engage with me. Alcohols the only thing that helps but i decided i wasnt gonna drink tonight because of my stomach. So that made me even more boring/disengaged.
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Old 03-10-2019, 07:30 AM   #4544
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jalfrezi View Post
Shrooms are brilliant every now and again, at least they were when I was younger. A groups of us used to go picking regularly every autumn.
You're a Londoner right? Richmond Park?
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Old 03-10-2019, 07:37 AM   #4545
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

There was a field near Kenwood House, Hampstead Heath that often had a bumper crop every autumn when we were young. A friend and I picked nearly 400 in a couple of hours there once.
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Old 03-11-2019, 11:20 AM   #4546
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

No vape or cigs all weekend
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Old 03-11-2019, 11:23 AM   #4547
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

that really was a lot easier than i thought it was gonna be. I don't know what I really did, it felt like I wasn't trying that hard. I kind of tricked myself into not making a big deal out of it, and it made it easier.

Maybe I can quit drinking for a while in the same manner.
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Old 03-11-2019, 03:45 PM   #4548
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Old 03-14-2019, 10:08 PM   #4549
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Todays been an extremely hard not smoking day. Had to use an emergency gum at work because I stopped bringing the pen.

Therapist thinks my trouble focusing is because of the nicotine w/d. I hadnt even thought of that and got kind of pissed at her for telling me, because now iím more likely to say **** it and buy a pack when im having trouble focusing.

She said every big habit quit like this has a phase towards the end where it ďburstsĒ and withdrawal becomes very intense, kind of like a last dying gasp. She said it means iím close to the end
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Old 03-14-2019, 10:09 PM   #4550
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Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Like iím reading these papers measuring cognitive deficits from nicotine cessation and i know 100% id choose cigarettes over my health if it meant the difference of getting my work done

I cant describe it but its like my brain is literally not working. I can barely concentrate on a thought for more than 20 seconds. I feel helpless
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