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Old 11-02-2018, 03:48 AM   #4101
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

One of my viewers, idk what happened to her, but I think she lurks here, noted that I am not really greatly motivated by money, and she was right. So focusing on gaining wealth does not seem like a great plan for me but I still feel compelled to do so.
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Old 11-02-2018, 05:14 AM   #4102
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakin View Post

I'm rambling now but idk what to do. It's a little frustrating where I am because I feel like I can stagnate really quickly. The next "phase" of my plan I guess, is to leverage my job into a mid/high $1xx,000 figure job up north - which I know I can do. But then I'll just be in exactly the same situation I am now, just with even more money.
This. Big time. I am a lot further on this path than you are, but I feel often the same.

What do you need to be happy..... I don't have the final answer, but there are few things that I know:
- Your therapist is right. Basics like food, sleep, structured physical environment, physical activity - that is a base, without which everything else is nothing.
- Social connections, social appreciation, acknowledgement of your progress is absolutely essential for this fleeting feeling of happiness.
- If you have a choice: double your income and work with jerks on something that you find is nonsense or remain with income where you are but in a cool team on something that gives you sparkle, always choose the second.
- Take risks. Not only with money in a gambling sense, but with your feelings. -> Kate! Think about it, try not to do something obviously dumb, but do things that make you feel alive.


You can try to state some goal for yourself. It has to be something that is 100% within your control and something really achievable but not to easy. And then..... You achieve it and Bam! You will feel better about yourself. It sounds trivial, but it totally works.
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Old 11-02-2018, 06:33 AM   #4103
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Go back and reread some of your blog posts before thinking about getting back with any of your exes imo...
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Old 11-02-2018, 10:28 AM   #4104
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Originally Posted by AllBlackDan View Post
Go back and reread some of your blog posts before thinking about getting back with any of your exes imo...
Although I normally disagree with ABD , that is rather a constructive thought.
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Old 11-02-2018, 11:42 AM   #4105
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Happiness is overrated because it's unattainable. If you reach a state of general contentment punctuated by the usual fears and anxieties humans have, you'll be doing well.
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Old 11-09-2018, 11:23 PM   #4106
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

lol I've given in to complete and total nihilism and hedonism at this point. I feel much better, but my life is absolutely ridiculous and maybe a little out of control right now. But the risk of ruin is fairly low. Just enjoying being me, unrestricted, whatever the **** I want to do, and **** everyone else. No one has ever looked out for me other than me.

Sometimes I think maybe, after all this stupid posting about it, I really am a sociopath and I should just embrace my darker nature. It's tended to produce better outcomes for me than trying to be something I'm not.
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Old 11-10-2018, 03:49 AM   #4107
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Does your therapist agree?
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Old 11-10-2018, 05:44 AM   #4108
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

She spends the majority of time life coaching me and avoids these subjects
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Old 11-10-2018, 06:32 AM   #4109
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

What better outcomes has it resulted in?
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Old 11-10-2018, 07:06 AM   #4110
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I feel better and care less about the ******* ****s at work
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Old 11-10-2018, 07:27 AM   #4111
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

FCs itt
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Old 11-10-2018, 10:27 AM   #4112
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Glad you're not into country music, jmakin.
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Old 11-10-2018, 09:44 PM   #4113
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Ok golf update

I had that weirdly infuriating injury to my side muscle in between my ribs. Took 5 weeks off and came back a few weeks ago and it was like i couldnt hit the ball to save my life. 10/10 shots either brutally weak slice, or just topping it completely.

3 days of this last week and i hear a POP on my third day on my side as i went to swing. It felt like i got shot. So i was like ****, guess i’m done again.

This time I iced it followed by a hot shower every day for about 30 minutes. After about 5 days it felt better so i went back to the range this week.


Still the same infuriating **** with my swing and i was so lost. I finally started hitting consistent blocked shots to the right but those are really weak. So i read as much as i could, watched a ton of videos, read some forum posts and went through my swing stage by stage.

I noticed my takeaway is behind me and almost straight up. Then i noticed i was sliding my hips and body waaay to right in my backswing. I also noticed today my stance was open. Once i figured this out it was like night and day. Not only are the balls going straight down the target line, i’m even drawing some of them. And on the downswing i can FEEL when its gonna be a good shot vs a bad shot - i’m not totally mystified when i slice it, i could tell before it even makes contact with the ball that it’s a slice.

This is how I know i’m on to something. Distance has a lot to be desired but idc. When i rotate my trunk more on the backswing i get tons more power but i’m not focusing on that yet.

Oh yea and almost ALL my clubs are working. Even driver was going straight or baby draws. It was awesome. Again, distance is not awesome but i feel confident hitting it. 3 wood off the small tee wasnt that bad either.

Clubs i cant really hit are the 4h, 5h, and 3 wood off the deck is spotty. But everything else is working beautifully. The changes i made made my 9 iron hitting the highest most beautiful shots, and the distance isnt too shabby on that club.

If i can keep this up for a few more sessions i’m gonna go play 9 holes, i’m so happy. Today i did every single club, 3 buckets, including chipping, pitching, and putting. When i was injured last week i was practing pitching and those felt really smooth and natural. I feel really confident in my short game as well, and feel if i went out today the way i was hitting i wouldve shot in the 90’s for sure. No doubt at all

Last edited by jmakin; 11-10-2018 at 09:52 PM.
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Old 11-10-2018, 09:56 PM   #4114
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

This week was kind of miserable at work so I really needed that. Maybe tomorrow i'll start out with a medium bucket and if I am still hitting like this just go straight to the tee and play 9 and see what happens
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Old 11-11-2018, 04:45 PM   #4115
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog



This was my spread from about 20 feet practicing two putting. One of those would’ve went in if there had been a hole.



This was 15ish feet with a weird break and downhill. I made a few of those.



This was from 10 feet, made 4/10 with 2 lipouts.

3-5 feet was kind of a ****show. I eventually dialed it in from 5 and was making about 8/10 on avg which is fine for me but i ideally never want to be missing those because my worst lag putts are like 5 foot misses.

I tried 30+ feet but the break was weird and i was ALL over the place, i need to work on my stroke for those more.

I also did some 20-30 foot pitch shots from fairway grass and then rough. The rough was easier for some reason the ball didnt run out on me as much. I had to use the 54 degree wedge for these because when i used 9 iron or 48 degree wedge they just ran out waaaaayyy too far every time. My sand wedge was stopping pretty good but I had a tendency to leave them short. I holed one but it was kind of lucky.

Pretty fun way to waste 2 hours. I might go back later
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Old 11-11-2018, 05:01 PM   #4116
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Oh yea I can't hit it out of the bunker. Like at all. It was a tricky bunker shot with a big huge lip and the flag like 10 feet away, so it's not an easy shot, but I couldnt even clear the lip. I dont think I have the correct gear.
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Old 11-13-2018, 02:30 AM   #4117
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

had my friend record me and here are my swing thoughts:

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Old 11-13-2018, 02:53 AM   #4118
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

so that absurd right elbow flare is probably the root cause of a lot of my problems, the more I read about it. It can cause a steep swing which leads to me hitting shots off to the right so often. I will work on this in the next several sessions. My friend said a good drill is to try to hold a club cover under my armpit and do drills that way.
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Old 11-13-2018, 03:09 AM   #4119
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

the more i watch this the more i realize how over the top i am and how it probably starts at my elbow. I'm really glad I recorded this, because I had no way of knowing what I was even doing.

Rewatching this a lot of times I realize now why my driver shots seem so reliable and pure now, when I do that swing I am definitely coming much more around my body and not straight over the top like I am in this vid. It's mystified me for the last few days why my driver is suddenly amazing and my irons are so garbage. I definitely do not swing this way with my driver or i'd divot like 3 feet behind the ball every time.

Last edited by jmakin; 11-13-2018 at 03:18 AM.
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Old 11-13-2018, 10:22 AM   #4120
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

You should really think about some lessons with a professional before you get locked into too many bad habits.
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Old 11-13-2018, 12:25 PM   #4121
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Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I am signed up for a lesson this weekend. I am trying to learn as much as i can before i hit a lesson so i know why i am making the corrections i am making. I don’t think there is a lot of danger to this because over the years i took a lot of hitting lessons and know i can make changes to my swing and i am willing to practice a ****load.

Basically i just want to try to get myself to a semi-stable comfortable point in my swing and then work on it from there. If i can just get to a point where im making solid contact most of the time with my irons and driver i’ll be satisfied. I really am not too far from it i think. I know why the things that are happening are happening. I want to know when i hit a bad shot WHY it’s happening and i am starting to wrap my head around it a lot better.

I wasnt hitting well last night and when i just sat back and went through the swing stage by stage and then swung i was doing well. I just need to ingrain the muscle memory


Short game is going pretty well though. Practiced short game stuff for 2 hours last night. Shots from deep buried lies in thick grass and bunker shots kind of ****ed my stroke up a little but i dialed it back in. I feel pretty confident from 5-20 yards off the green now
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Old 11-13-2018, 03:05 PM   #4122
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

made some adjustments today and everything felt super crisp again. i swear i was hitting my 7 iron about 20 yards farther too. if i make sure to start my downswing with my hips and bring the club at a more vertical angle in the backswing, everything is striking cleanly. every time i forget to start with my hips it falls to pieces. I was kind of imagining my swing like I was trying to pull a baseball to left field, and it felt way better

i might go play front 9 of the course next to my house, it's a ~140 yard average. Can easily reach the greens with just my 7 iron. might go try it today if i am not tired
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Old 11-13-2018, 04:10 PM   #4123
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Hold your follow through longer. You’re popping out of your motion early because you pull the club back so quickly at the end. It will correct more bad habits in your swing than you might expect.
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Old 11-13-2018, 06:32 PM   #4124
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yeah, you don't want to follow though in public and have your movements visible to all and sundry.
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Old 11-13-2018, 11:53 PM   #4125
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

At this point has you played an actual round of golf? If you’re enjoying the range this much just wait until you get to combine with gambling.
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