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Old 10-23-2018, 06:12 PM   #4076
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I don't log hours for salary employees but can't help but keep a rough mental track. When it gets abused, I start documenting, and when it's a documented problem, I take action. Helps me avoid useless work (of tracking everyone all the time) while correcting issues (of the worst offenders) at the cost of maximum efficiency (of someone working ~39 hours a week for example).
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Old 10-23-2018, 06:15 PM   #4077
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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I am project manager and I have SUCH a ****ing light touch
Also - just a mild rebuke here - your experience is so minimal you shouldn't be thinking like this. Obviously there are proxies for experience, like asking 2p2 how project managers should behave, but maybe you should default to questioning yourself versus stating how things should be.
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Old 10-23-2018, 08:45 PM   #4078
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I can’t properly stress how minimal/nonexistant our process is. I want to be doing more, but I’m met with the most constant resistance on just about the most basic things - like important emails being unanswered, people bailing on meetings, etc.
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Old 10-23-2018, 08:47 PM   #4079
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Basically 80% of what I’m doing right now is QA/testing and organizing. The other 20% is trying to get people to GAF.

We have a few new hires that are very vocal so their energy is helping me light the fire under some asses but like I said it’s pretty painful.
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Old 10-30-2018, 08:46 PM   #4080
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

There is something in the air, basically every old flame I've ever had has reached out to me in the last few weeks.

Hooked up with M a few times (it's an older abbreviation but thread vets should be well aware of her, no not THAT M) and then she got it in her head that we would be married or something and started spamming me pictures of rings. I played along for a split second because she's never serious about this stuff and has never, ever been seriously interested in me, but I got a little freaked and nipped it in the bud.

I care about her as a friend and enjoy hanging out with her occasionally but I never ever want anything with her. I was thinking about how badly she hurt me and how it's ****ed up every single relationship I've had since then, especially the one I had with Kate, and I really loved her.

Speaking of Kate .. she snap chatted w/ me last night. Kind of freaked me out - over the last few years I've sent her sporadic, harmless snapchats, knowing she probably had me blocked and would never see them. Occasionally I'd see that she opened them but wouldn't respond. Last night I noticed I could see her stories and I replied to it, and she sent me a few snaps back and forth, one semi-flirty one, then finally left me on read, but was still turbo-viewing my stories, after I posted a few.

Doesn't seem like a lot when I write it out but she's basically blocked me on every single possible medium when we had the final confrontation 2 years ago, when she made up her mind she wanted to be with her boyfriend and not continue cheating on him. We have had almost no contact since then, other than when I sent her an email congratulating her on getting into Berkeley. I've regretted it a lot because previous to that, she did try to get back with me and offered to break up with him - I told her I didn't believe her, because I have been through that same exact thing before (with M) and also once briefly with her, and that no ****ing way would I consider dating her.

I didn't realize how badly that'd backfire on me. I have missed her basically every single day since then and it's sucked a lot but I let her go and didn't try to interfere with her life because she held up her end of the bargain by getting the **** out of mine like I asked her to because she was wreaking havoc on my mental health.

After last night I had a ton of dreams about her and then a few nightmares. Idk. Feel I should tell my therapist but she never has a lot to say about Kate. That relationship more than any other one really, really ****ed me up and I have never been over it/her.
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Old 10-30-2018, 09:09 PM   #4081
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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There is something in the air, basically every old flame I've ever had has reached out to me in the last few weeks.

Hooked up with M a few times (it's an older abbreviation but thread vets should be well aware of her, no not THAT M) and then she got it in her head that we would be married or something and started spamming me pictures of rings. I played along for a split second because she's never serious about this stuff and has never, ever been seriously interested in me, but I got a little freaked and nipped it in the bud.

I care about her as a friend and enjoy hanging out with her occasionally but I never ever want anything with her. I was thinking about how badly she hurt me and how it's ****ed up every single relationship I've had since then, especially the one I had with Kate, and I really loved her.

Speaking of Kate .. she snap chatted w/ me last night. Kind of freaked me out - over the last few years I've sent her sporadic, harmless snapchats, knowing she probably had me blocked and would never see them. Occasionally I'd see that she opened them but wouldn't respond. Last night I noticed I could see her stories and I replied to it, and she sent me a few snaps back and forth, one semi-flirty one, then finally left me on read, but was still turbo-viewing my stories, after I posted a few.

Doesn't seem like a lot when I write it out but she's basically blocked me on every single possible medium when we had the final confrontation 2 years ago, when she made up her mind she wanted to be with her boyfriend and not continue cheating on him. We have had almost no contact since then, other than when I sent her an email congratulating her on getting into Berkeley. I've regretted it a lot because previous to that, she did try to get back with me and offered to break up with him - I told her I didn't believe her, because I have been through that same exact thing before (with M) and also once briefly with her, and that no ****ing way would I consider dating her.

I didn't realize how badly that'd backfire on me. I have missed her basically every single day since then and it's sucked a lot but I let her go and didn't try to interfere with her life because she held up her end of the bargain by getting the **** out of mine like I asked her to because she was wreaking havoc on my mental health.

After last night I had a ton of dreams about her and then a few nightmares. Idk. Feel I should tell my therapist but she never has a lot to say about Kate. That relationship more than any other one really, really ****ed me up and I have never been over it/her.
I actually had a body spasm when I read that
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Old 10-30-2018, 10:07 PM   #4082
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Nope, yet somehow still luckboxed a 200k/yr job.



I realized my mistake after it was too late to edit. I must have been thinking about other people being unfortunate for having to do it and my fingers typed out unfortunate when I clearly meant I am fortunate for not having to track time.



Thanks for the friendly needle


I felt slightly guilty about how mean that one was, actually.
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Old 10-31-2018, 09:44 AM   #4083
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Hooked up with M a few times
Did she bring you a painting?
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Old 11-01-2018, 08:09 AM   #4084
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Logging hours makes sense if somebody's getting BILLED by the hour. Other than that? Come on, no.
There are some other good accounting reasons to do it even if there's nobody being billed externally. But in the US tech market its probably better to sacrifice a bit on the accounting side (or at least push more work onto accountants / managers) in order to make quality of life better for developers. Tracking time blows.
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:35 PM   #4085
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

How do you stay within budget for a large project running across many teams (devs, BAs, testers, infrastructure, PMs etc) if you don't record people's time?
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:36 PM   #4086
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

AGILE!
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:39 PM   #4087
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

lol

I hate the sprint planning sessions where we're expected to estimate accurately ("why's it called an estimate then?"). It just leads to us inevitably building in a lot of contingency to cover our arses just in case, which is then usually time at the end of the sprint we have to **** around with, sorry I mean do documentation.
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:41 PM   #4088
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I make that simpler by doing peoples estimations for them. If they think something will take them a day I just assume three days.

Iím not usually wrong lol. Iíve started doing three times weekly standup meetings and itís working a lot better
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:44 PM   #4089
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

It depends very much on the project, but we tend to have daily standups at 11am. I'd prefer them to be earlier but our tech lead can't get his arse out of bed and into work before 10.30am.
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:45 PM   #4090
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I shouldíve been doing that all along but one of our teammates work schedule is just impossible to work around and I finally threw a fit about it, now we can have them.
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:48 PM   #4091
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Good move anyway.

I find them a useful way to build relationships with the PM and tester. Same goes for sprint retrospectives during the last week of the sprint.
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:54 PM   #4092
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I am the PM AND the tester, lol
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:56 PM   #4093
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Then you should get along like a house on fire.
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Old 11-01-2018, 12:57 PM   #4094
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Also i do 1 week sprints because it forces us to break tasks into small pieces and helps prevent procrastination - yea stuff spills over into the next sprint a lot, but itís fine. I have a larger 1 month cycle where I push a release. So like 4 sprints = 1 release cycle, ideally. For this product itís pre-alpha though so weíre not sending stuff out, it just helps me to establish checkpoints and so our branches dont branch off into infinity like in the project I wasnít previously managing.
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Old 11-01-2018, 01:03 PM   #4095
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Fair enough, that's the nice thing about Agile - you can tailor it to suit the project.
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Old 11-01-2018, 01:15 PM   #4096
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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How do you stay within budget for a large project running across many teams (devs, BAs, testers, infrastructure, PMs etc) if you don't record people's time?
You hire people to record that stuff instead of wasting the time of technical experts on that stuff.
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Old 11-01-2018, 06:43 PM   #4097
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

It takes me all of one minute to do a week's timesheet. I can't see the sense in employing others to ask me how long I've spent on various tasks.
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Old 11-01-2018, 11:19 PM   #4098
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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I make that simpler by doing peoples estimations for them. If they think something will take them a day I just assume three days.

Iím not usually wrong lol. Iíve started doing three times weekly standup meetings and itís working a lot better
A very smart graybeard I used to work with said to always double the estimate and add a unit of measurement.

1 day = 2 weeks
1 week = 2 months
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Old 11-02-2018, 01:26 AM   #4099
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

lol we wouldn't get away with that.

We are now under pressure to give estimates that are within 10% of the actual. It's pretty easy to see how this is achieved.
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Old 11-02-2018, 03:45 AM   #4100
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Therapy's been a little frustrating. She keeps taking me back to "square 0" things - like basic self care, physical health kind of stuff. Right now we're working on establishing steady habits like cleaning and buying house supplies, cooking for myself, etc. It's a slow work in progress but my physical environment is getting better (very slowly).

I want to talk about other stuff but she steers me back to this a lot. She said she won't deal with higher existential stuff with me until I establish a stable baseline.

Today I was kind of like "I've been living on my own unassisted since I was 19 - you'd almost wonder after this conversation how I managed to get this far."

Then she said she thought it was incredible that I have, given my neglectful and abusive childhood, most millennials enter "true" adhulthood at about the age I am right now and have had a steady example from decently normal parents to go off of. She says everything I've had to do in the last 10 years - paying bills, living on my own, buying a car, dealing with illness, doing day to day stuff - i've had to pick up on my own. And she always says it is a testament to how bright I am that I have not only survived to the point I am at now, but I have done so while quintupling my income and obtaining a not-trivial degree in the process, while simultaneously coping with extreme loss, heartbreak, chronic depression, and untreated anxiety along the way. She said she does not have any clients she feels confident saying could accomplish the same things.

So that feels nice and it is true - she always tries to get me to take credit for my accomplishments but I have a really hard time doing so. I feel like I constantly get extremely lucky, or am at the right place at the right time, or some loosely formulated game plan I establish just happens to work out perfectly.

Think about, for instance, how many opportunities I have had for something to go horribly wrong in the last ~5 years. I could have had a kid (multiple times over), I could have ended up with Melissa (I'll just call her by name now since the M joke kind of bothers me) and been in a way worse situation. I could have not had the abortion with kate - although that seemed mostly pre-determined by her and not me (and I constantly think of how that situation could have been different) - but it probably worked out best for me anyway.

In fact, things totally could have gone the other way 5 years ago - Melissa was pressuring me at the time to move in with her and take a 6 figure job on an oil rig working for her uncle. In the short term, this was hard to decline - I was making $14,500 a year and couldn't even afford my basic needs. So I had to turn it down, because I thought a long term plan focusing on education would be a brighter path for me. I just was accidentally right, just like a lot of things - my instinct kind of leads me down the right path for one reason or another.

Looking back purely objectively it is hard to say that I am not extremely better off than I was 5 years ago. I had a bum knee, a ****ty car, couldn't afford anything. Then I became a boat captain which gave me a little more financial security, and allowed me to focus mostly on school. That led me to where I am now.

I don't know where the **** to go now, landing in a decent paying job was always the end destination in my mind and one that always seemed far off and distant. Now I have literally EVERYTHING I could have ever dreamed of, and I am not really any happier than before. It is frustrating. My therapist said we can talk about that stuff when I get more physically stable.

Part of it is how alone I am, but it's a double edged sword because I prefer it that way. I am loving living by myself. If I were to end up with someone I probably immediately feel stifled or pressured to constantly spend time with them when I'd rather be alone. But at the same time this seems to be a constant source of my unhappiness.

I'm rambling now but idk what to do. It's a little frustrating where I am because I feel like I can stagnate really quickly. The next "phase" of my plan I guess, is to leverage my job into a mid/high $1xx,000 figure job up north - which I know I can do. But then I'll just be in exactly the same situation I am now, just with even more money.



Also, as kind of a non-sequitur but final thought on this "feelings" themed post - I am gaining a not at all trivial amount of satisfaction from the fact that Kate keeps lurking my snapchat stories (often the first viewer within a couple of minutes) and I don't know why it makes me happy but it does. It would not surprise me at all if she has the same thoughts I've constantly been having. She is truly the only person I have ever been with that said they loved me and I actually believe it. My biggest stupidity was convincing myself otherwise. I am mature enough now to know that if someone cheats it does not mean they don't also love you - those things aren't mutually exclusive. had i been mature enough to handle the relationship in a better way and dealt with her needs better it maybe wouldn't have even happened. i am kind of victim blaming/gaslighting myself when I say this, but honestly, I know I was insufferable at the time, and maybe even a little emotionally abusive.

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