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Old 10-21-2018, 09:57 PM   #4051
Howard Treesong
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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I donít enjoy this at all

Wait, what? I know you donít like dealing with this specific crappy issue, but I thought you generally liked the company and many parts of your role in it
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Old 10-22-2018, 01:33 AM   #4052
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Wait, what? I know you don’t like dealing with this specific crappy issue, but I thought you generally liked the company and many parts of your role in it
It comes and goes - I like the pay a lot, it's given me freedom to basically do whatever the **** I feel like most of the time without any concern for budgeting/money. I have like $15k in the bank right now and my spending habits are... well pretty ****ing horrible.

So that I really like. But sometimes, I'd say at least half the time, I am driving home and wanting to either scream as loud as I can or stab someone in the face. My difficult coworker is extremely difficult and unpleasant, my job gives me a lot of anxiety (although that's slowly getting better) and generally I have no clue about my performance or how I am perceived around the office. I think i'm slowly gaining respect but earlier this summer I felt I was doing horribly. The politics are a little miserable too but probably not as bad as most places.

I do tend to always think I'm underperforming when I'm actually doing quite well so I just try to ignore those thoughts. The positive thing I said about the job before are purely objective - I am in an extraordinary position for my age and experience to advance my career and learn a lot of things. I am well aware of that. But by no stretch of the imagination would I describe it as fun, it's continually frustrating and the apathy is super bad sometimes with the people I work with. I think I'm slowly making a difference but it feels like I fight I'm not going to win and I really hate losing.
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Old 10-22-2018, 01:36 AM   #4053
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

My boss is placing a lot more trust in me lately so that's nice. He kind of overexplains things and I think he thinks i'm dumb or something, but he let me do an interview the other day for a new hire. So that was cool.

Also I have no ****ing idea what I'm going to tell my therapist about this weekend. I guess she doesn't have to know everything, but I'm pretty sure one time recently she suggested the possibility of paying for sex because dating causes me so much anguish. She's open minded about most things but I'll have to feel her out, she's been getting frustrated with me lately.
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Old 10-22-2018, 08:02 AM   #4054
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

J,
You might consider trying to find a job that is strictly technical where you are tucked away in a cube somewhere.
I mean work doesn't have to be "fun", but you should enjoy what you are doing.
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Old 10-22-2018, 08:29 AM   #4055
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Totally disagree.

He's getting great experience and is "in an extraordinary position for my age and experience to advance my career and learn a lot of things".

Give it at least another 6 month and re-evaluate.
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Old 10-22-2018, 09:20 AM   #4056
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Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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It comes and goes - I like the pay a lot, it's given me freedom to basically do whatever the **** I feel like most of the time without any concern for budgeting/money. I have like $15k in the bank right now and my spending habits are... well pretty ****ing horrible.

So that I really like. But sometimes, I'd say at least half the time, I am driving home and wanting to either scream as loud as I can or stab someone in the face. My difficult coworker is extremely difficult and unpleasant, my job gives me a lot of anxiety (although that's slowly getting better) and generally I have no clue about my performance or how I am perceived around the office. I think i'm slowly gaining respect but earlier this summer I felt I was doing horribly. The politics are a little miserable too but probably not as bad as most places.

I do tend to always think I'm underperforming when I'm actually doing quite well so I just try to ignore those thoughts. The positive thing I said about the job before are purely objective - I am in an extraordinary position for my age and experience to advance my career and learn a lot of things. I am well aware of that. But by no stretch of the imagination would I describe it as fun, it's continually frustrating and the apathy is super bad sometimes with the people I work with. I think I'm slowly making a difference but it feels like I fight I'm not going to win and I really hate losing.


Sounds to me like the upsides are much larger than the downsides. Figure out a way to isolate and ultimately eject the difficult coworker, but minimize all aspects of your interaction with her. Figure out a way to not take work stress home with you.

Last edited by Howard Treesong; 10-22-2018 at 09:21 AM. Reason: My observations are obvious.
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Old 10-22-2018, 10:43 AM   #4057
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Totally disagree.

He's getting great experience and is "in an extraordinary position for my age and experience to advance my career and learn a lot of things".

Give it at least another 6 month and re-evaluate.
Yup. And I think Jmakin understands that. That he has reasons to vent doesn't mean he needs to change jobs.

I love my job but some days it stresses me due to outside vendors being a pain (looking at you Apple).
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Old 10-22-2018, 10:55 AM   #4058
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Your age and lack of dependents and halfway decent nest egg gives you tons of "**** you" equity at your job, so there's that.

I'm 47 with a wife and two kids, one in college, and debt...my IT job is somewhat less stressful than yours, it sounds, but angst from even the smallest possibility of my losing my job is magnified like 100x because of the above.

It'd probably be good to rein in your spending even a bit more and push that $15k to $25k+...if you know you can live unemployed for months without a sweat, it'll only help your confidence at work IMO.
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Old 10-22-2018, 12:18 PM   #4059
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yea I have zero stress about that. Iíd actually be kind of relieved and probably take a few months off and travel. I also get $135k in january, so there is not really a lot of anxiety in the short term future for me.
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Old 10-22-2018, 11:34 PM   #4060
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Lol she comes back from her 3rd vacation in like 6 weeks, 3 hours late as per usual, and within 3 hours already sent me into a borderline rage with a passive aggressive email bitching about some super tiny thing I did 3 months ago.
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Old 10-23-2018, 02:36 AM   #4061
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Lol she comes back from her 3rd vacation in like 6 weeks, 3 hours late as per usual, and within 3 hours already sent me into a borderline rage with a passive aggressive email bitching about some super tiny thing I did 3 months ago.
Don't you have some kind of time logging? If "yes", who cares about when she puts in her hours.
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Old 10-23-2018, 02:41 AM   #4062
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I doubt they do. Iím not even sure itís legal to require salaried professionals to log time. Iíve never had to at any of my tech jobs.
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Old 10-23-2018, 03:13 AM   #4063
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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I doubt they do. Iím not even sure itís legal to require salaried professionals to log time. Iíve never had to at any of my tech jobs.


I am sooooooo jelly!

I had to fill-in time sheets where I write how I spend every hour at every job I ever had except as university stuff. At the half of my jobs I had also to check-in with a card when I arrive and check-out when I leave. I know that at at least one other reg in the house of blogs with tech job has identical experience.

I am really jelly. Time sheets filling is the most annoying task in the world!
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Old 10-23-2018, 04:31 AM   #4064
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yeah, tech staff not having to log hours against project or BAU tasks is really unusual here in Britain.

How many days holiday does she get? I thought America is on 10 days/year or something stupid.

I'm wondering about her personal life - the constant holidays and unhappiness. Maybe she has serious personal family issues of some kind that jmakin hasn't been told about (not that it would excuse her in any way).
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Old 10-23-2018, 05:54 AM   #4065
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I have chronic depression and don’t bring it to work. No we don’t log hours. But she does maybe ~20 hours a week in the office if she is there 5 days. We don’t have any time off policy, which is pretty common in tech.
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Old 10-23-2018, 05:57 AM   #4066
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I sense she has relationship problems or something but i honestly don’t give a ****.
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Old 10-23-2018, 11:41 AM   #4067
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Logging hours makes sense if somebody's getting BILLED by the hour. Other than that? Come on, no.
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Old 10-23-2018, 11:53 AM   #4068
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I wish you were right but I work for a large public sector employer and projects have budgets, so estimates and logging hours are important to them.
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Old 10-23-2018, 12:09 PM   #4069
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Iím not even sure itís legal to require salaried professionals to log time.
Sure it is.
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Old 10-23-2018, 12:14 PM   #4070
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Sure it is.
Hmmm.... yea, it looks like you are right. I guess I have just been very unfortunate to not have to put up with that crap.
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Old 10-23-2018, 12:24 PM   #4071
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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I wish you were right but I work for a large public sector employer and projects have budgets, so estimates and logging hours are important to them.
This..... Actually with any larger employer that has more than one project it is good idea to know how much time was invested where.

The things start to be annoying when the project manager appears at my door with shocked face: "You really did need 10 min here? For what have you used them? 10 min for writing an email is just too much. And here what did you do in this 15 min? You went over to XYZ and had a chat with him about project? Was it really necessary? Please, don't do that next time."

But there are ways and strats to handle such project managers.
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Old 10-23-2018, 01:01 PM   #4072
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I am project manager and I have SUCH a ****ing light touch, and people still think I’m annoying. One guy calls me annoying all the time but I think he’s mostly kidding. Last time I just told him “it’s my job to annoy you.”

The “annoying” is since we don’t really have a QA role I fall into that quite naturally, and find bugs or issues with everyone’s work. Naturally that rubs some people the wrong way. I think that is the problem person’s issue with me - but honestly I can’t really tell. I sense that she used to do a lot of the stuff I am doing now.

I had an idea a few months ago to make her the PM and transition me into development, but for me now that is completely out of the question.
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Old 10-23-2018, 04:25 PM   #4073
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Hmmm.... yea, it looks like you are right. I guess I have just been very unfortunate to not have to put up with that crap.


Do you know what words mean?
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Old 10-23-2018, 04:27 PM   #4074
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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I am project manager and I have SUCH a ****ing light touch, and people still think Iím annoying. One guy calls me annoying all the time but I think heís mostly kidding. Last time I just told him ďitís my job to annoy you.Ē

The ďannoyingĒ is since we donít really have a QA role I fall into that quite naturally, and find bugs or issues with everyoneís work. Naturally that rubs some people the wrong way. I think that is the problem personís issue with me - but honestly I canít really tell. I sense that she used to do a lot of the stuff I am doing now.

I had an idea a few months ago to make her the PM and transition me into development, but for me now that is completely out of the question.


Perhaps Iím just weird, but I like it when teammates/colleagues/subordinates point out mistakes, preferably with a mildly abusive and sarcastic tone. Itís how the work product improves.
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Old 10-23-2018, 05:25 PM   #4075
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Do you know what words mean?
Nope, yet somehow still luckboxed a 200k/yr job.

I realized my mistake after it was too late to edit. I must have been thinking about other people being unfortunate for having to do it and my fingers typed out unfortunate when I clearly meant I am fortunate for not having to track time.

Thanks for the friendly needle
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