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Old 07-10-2018, 07:12 PM   #3901
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Today went a loooot better. I wrote kind of a complicated utility program that passed muster and maybe got a little more cred.
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Old 07-10-2018, 07:14 PM   #3902
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by lapka View Post
Then that is your argument. If you can add few sentences to why, then use that in the conversation with team. Don't use " the boss said that and we have to do what the boss tells." Not a single thinking person will accept that he/she has to do something she considers stupid only because the boss tells so. You have to convince them to be on your side.
I agree with dids. Don't be extra confrontational. Neither with your boss no with your team. Take the emotion out of it. Are you trying to bring your boss into conversation with team because you are not sure of your authority? And kinda trying to add the authority of your boss to yours. Don't. You are smart enough. And if you think that something is right I am pretty sure it is. Stand as yourself tall. And people will feel it and follow.
My boss is in india. These are decisions that usually fall to him, and my teammate is also constantly emailing him - i want to make sure he is up to date.
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Old 07-10-2018, 07:55 PM   #3903
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I am realizing that an extremely difficult part of my job is juggling the demands of the product owner vs. what is actually feasible/worth doing and also conveying that to my team. So far I am not doing a good job.

Particularly, I am not so great at when there are N people with N different opinions, how to find a consensus.

I have a weird feeling they are trying to groom me into being something more than my current position - trial by fire kind of thing. Probably just garden variety disorganization though.
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Old 07-10-2018, 11:46 PM   #3904
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

S just tried to pull the same old “lets just have it be like exactly like before but i wont care about you at all and it doesnt mean anything and we just have fun”

Almost verbatim. Then she just shows up at my house with food and i told her to leave and she got pissed and left.

Calls me a little while later to try to talk things out into a scenario where she gets everything she wants and i dont get anything from her again. I told her no, i’m past tha and it’s not fair to me and i deserve better.

I wasnt even looking for anything ****ing serious, she was the one from almost day 1 talking about babies and **** with me. Jfc
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Old 07-12-2018, 01:06 AM   #3905
Larry Legend
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

jmakin,

Sounds like you are doing the right things wrt your job.

When you get stressed out, just take a step back. If you were a serious CTO/CEO, would you ever want to have yourself in your current situation at your company? Of course you ****ing wouldn't, not only is the role literally impossible to be successful at, you have essentially no experience, and self admitted dubious current technical skills. Clearly for these people to have you in this role they are themselves failing massively in several ways.

This is also an incredibly, incredibly fortunate situation for you to be in. You get to learn different parts of a the technical sides of a software company very quickly, and are even exposed to the business side. It takes some people 10+ years to gain that kind of exposure. The job I'm leaving has 2 senior architect level engineers (20+ years each) who have literally zero business knowledge, so they stay at a company that is almost certainly a loser because they cannot accurately judge the situation.

Just keep learning and improving yourself and eventually you will be able to go to an exponentially better job, trust me it will happen.
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Old Yesterday, 02:59 PM   #3906
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I have a scenario in which this makes sense -

There’s no new investment coming in, and they’re in full on **** it mode.
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Old Today, 04:41 AM   #3907
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

my mental state is really low the last few days. Like I feel so ****ing alone and just kinda hated.

I don't really have any good people in my life except my roommate and he's leaving in a few weeks I guess. He dropped the bomb on me the other night. It's probably my fault - i havent been maintaining the place like I should.

I want to get a new place in January when I get my little windfall. I think I'll try to find a nice $1500/mo apartment, maybe like ~1000 square feet if I can find anything in that price range. And then just pimp it out and go on a playboy-esque rampage.

idk right now though. I just generally feel unwell.
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Old Today, 04:42 AM   #3908
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

What I really need is a mechanism to meet people, that does not involve drinking. Right now I'm not sure what that is. Right now all I have is tinder but I'm too embarrassed of this place to bring anyone over.
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Old Today, 06:55 AM   #3909
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

You should worry - when I was in your age group I had a small one bedroom semi-basement flat that I let fall into total disrepair because I was out pretty much every night, and a cat that used a litter tray in the bathroom. The whole place stank of damp and cat ****, but frankly when you've copped off with someone you've usually both had enough to drink for those sort of things not to matter until the morning lol.

Anyway...onto the advice. Get someone from one of those cleaning companies around who blitz clean somewhere and hit up the bars a couple of times a week (or tinder I suppose), keeping work your priority.

Last edited by jalfrezi; Today at 06:57 AM. Reason: Disclaimer: is a Brit. We love drinking as anyone who lived in this climate would
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Old Today, 09:14 AM   #3910
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

jmakin - while normally I'd say to ignore Larry The Sales Guy when it comes to anything resembling tech career advice, our blind boot camp squirrel seems to have finally found a nut because his last sentence is actually correct. Keep your nose to the grindstone, the anxiety in check, and focus on learning everything useful that you can learn. Most likely scenario here is that you'll be jumping ship in about two years at the latest if the company doesn't go boom or bust before then. Treat them as a paid training ground in the meantime. You will have more options later with a little real world experience under your belt.
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Old Today, 09:50 AM   #3911
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakin View Post
What I really need is a mechanism to meet people, that does not involve drinking. Right now I'm not sure what that is. Right now all I have is tinder but I'm too embarrassed of this place to bring anyone over.
Nonsense. From what I read about your housing you have kind of very similar apartment like me. And I am for years professional.

No matter how small/cheap/low level equipment your apartment has, you can always make it so that people feel good there.

- declutter. Don't have any unnecessary **** lay around.
- make your bed. It is huge difference how a room looks like when bed is like your just slept in it or if it is smooth empty surface.
- pick-up. It is again huge difference if your clothing/books/papers fly all around the room or if clothing is in some kind of store system (you don't have to have separate wardrobe room), books on a shelf and papers filed in appropriate files.
- if a girl comes over and starts kinda suggesting something or clean herself, don't get all defensive, but help her instead.


One of my exes did always leave his laundry hanging on such lines in a room. Dryers are very rare in Germany. He left it there for weeks instead of folding together on a shelf. I sooooo could kick his butt. It is something very simple. It costs nothing. But it makes huge difference in how a room looks like and feels.
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