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Old 03-27-2018, 05:03 PM   #3451
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I’m ****ing done with S as anything more than a **** buddy.

We have this ski trip planned for today and tomorrow. I got up at 2am to get ready and go pick her up, drive 6 hours here pretty much nonstop while she slept the whole way.

Get to the lifts at 12pm, but then i get a phone call from a # i dont recognize. I never answer my phone anyway so of course i dont pick up.

They leave a voicemail and i listen to it. It’s my professor’s company i interviewed at over 4 weeks ago and never heard back. Hiring manager said he wants to talk to me - which i know at this point can only mean a job offer.

S wants me to call them back immediately. I said no, i’m on vacation and I’m not prepared as to what I’m going to say anyway.

Instant **** mode activated, she gets infuriated with me and says I’m unprofessional and rude. I said “hold up, this company took 4 weeks to even respond to my interview - they can ****ing wait. Besides, the decision’s been made no matter what, whtever i do doesnt matter now.”

That was really the length of the argument. I gave in and called then back, and they want to give me an offer. ****ing amazing news. But she just keeps ****ting all over it and i tried to explain to her that this is my business and none of hers - (wrong move, but I’m right) and she went into sulk mode and hasnt spoken to me since.

We did two runs but I was sucking and am in a foul mood now so i went back to the car to drink. I think I’m done snowboarding for the day. I dont want to be anywhere near her right now, this shouldve been the best news of my life and now i’m just angry and sad.

It’s super ****ing obvious to me that she’s jealous because we’ve been talking about her career and how she doesnt know what she wants to do and her degree is worthless and shes stuck in entry level min wage positions - so i ****ing get it, but if you care about someone you ****ing be happy for them. This is the same **** as with kate, she resented my success a lot.

It’s so ****ing stupid especially because if i get a good paying job it directly benefits her because i’m really generous with my money.
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Old 03-27-2018, 05:45 PM   #3452
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Not sure why you're getting mad at her for telling you to call back immediately.

If you posted here whether you should call back immediately, I and likely many other posters would have told you to call back immediately and you wouldnt have gotten mad at us.

I also think your assessment of her being jealous of your success is way off base. You havent even officially gotten an offer yet and you already think you're hot **** and that she's jealous. If she was really jealous, she wouldn't have told you to call back immediately.

I dont usually comment on the relationship stuff but you sound way out of line here.
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Old 03-27-2018, 05:46 PM   #3453
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Not sure why you're getting mad at her for telling you to call back immediately.

If you posted here whether you should call back immediately, I and likely many other posters would have told you to call back immediately and you wouldnt have gotten mad at us.

I also think your assessment of her being jealous of your success is way off base. You havent even officially gotten an offer yet and you already think you're hot **** and that she's jealous. If she was really jealous, she wouldn't have told you to call back immediately.

I dont usually comment on the relationship stuff but you sound way out of line here.


Iím angry at her for being angry at me over it and not talking to me all day. I appreciated the input but she was legit enraged i didnt immediately pick up the phone and call and has stayed that way all day.
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Old 03-27-2018, 05:47 PM   #3454
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Just fyi, as someone who is an expert negotiator, it's a sign of weakness to be too available or too responsive, especially when the company has not gotten to you in 4 weeks.

Calling back immediately can be viewed as a sign of weakness and desperation when it comes time to negotiate your position and salary.

The attitude of "**** them they spent 4 weeks responding and I'm on vacation" is 100% correct even from a strategic point of view, not just a standard human emotional one.

Don't tell this to her tho.
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Old 03-27-2018, 05:49 PM   #3455
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

You should respond in a reasonable time frame, but needing to drop everything and call back is not the best play.
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Old 03-27-2018, 05:49 PM   #3456
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I 100% thought of that and tried to explain that to her.

And he said they had an offer for me - if i want it, it’s pretty much a sure thing right? I mean he said offer like 4 times and apologized as many times for taking so long to contact me.
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Old 03-27-2018, 05:53 PM   #3457
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Even AFTER i was like “alright, you’re right, I’ll call them” she was still angry about my initial reaction. And SHES STILL MAD RIGHT NOW

That’s why i think it’s jealousy. It’s the only thing that makes sense.
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Old 03-27-2018, 05:55 PM   #3458
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yea I mean it's impossible for us to know but it sounds possible for sure.

Are they sending you paperwork?
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Old 03-27-2018, 05:56 PM   #3459
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Yea I mean it's impossible for us to know but it sounds possible for sure.

Are they sending you paperwork?


No, Iím meeting thursday morning to talk about the details of the position to and to hear their offer
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Old 03-27-2018, 05:58 PM   #3460
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I agree that not calling back immediately might be optimal but also nothing S has said leads me to believe that she is jealous of your success.

Now, if you said that you dont see relationship going anywhere because you and S can't peacefully resolve matters like "how long to wait before calling", then I agree with you. Because in a functional relationship, she tells you her opinion, you give your opinion, then you come to a peaceful resolution without getting mad at each other.

If she is going to stay mad at you over this then you have a lot of headaches in the future if you have to make bigger decisions together.
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Old 03-27-2018, 06:01 PM   #3461
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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I agree that not calling back immediately might be optimal but also nothing S has said leads me to believe that she is jealous of your success.

Now, if you said that you dont see relationship going anywhere because you and S can't peacefully resolve matters like "how long to wait before calling", then I agree with you. Because in a functional relationship, she tells you her opinion, you give your opinion, then you come to a peaceful resolution without getting mad at each other.


Youíre right but i cant think of one logical or illogical reason why she could possibly be angry at me still.

And her butting her nose into my business when she doesnt even want a relationship really ****ing pisses me off. But i wouldve gotten over it quickly - the fact sheís still angry about the conversation just makes me angrier because shes coming from such a stupid position in the first place.

Like iím glad i called because now i know i probably have a job in the summer but like larry said it probably wouldve appeared stronger to wait. And those were the types of variables i wanted to think about before calling and i tried to make her understand and she just didnt.
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Old 03-27-2018, 06:19 PM   #3462
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

To be fair in this situation the EV you are giving up by calling back quickly is probably meaningless.
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Old 03-27-2018, 06:49 PM   #3463
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

J,

The biggest problem in your relationship imo is you both get off on drama and conflict.
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Old 03-27-2018, 06:54 PM   #3464
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I donít want this conflict. I wanted her to be happy for me and she isnít. I donít understand why thereís conflict in the first place.

I wouldve even been happy with a neutral response. Dont **** on my parade, i dont understand what the point of that is.
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Old 03-27-2018, 06:55 PM   #3465
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Now she’s going to be mad i didnt snowboard today and sat most of the day out and of course isnt going to understand that I’m tired after driving 6 hours today
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Old 03-27-2018, 06:57 PM   #3466
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Could be as simple as her just being offended that you blew off her advice. Not that that makes her right and she's kind of a ***** for expecting to have any say in the matter at all, but that seems far more logical than jealousy over you getting a job. I mean what kind of awful person would she have to be to not be rooting for you on that?

Either way, I agree with amoeba, if something like this turns into a day-long argument for whatever reason, that's a bad sign in general. You two seem to get mad at each other over the dumbest things and don't communicate well enough to even know specifically why you're arguing.
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Old 03-27-2018, 07:03 PM   #3467
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Could be as simple as her just being offended that you blew off her advice. Not that that makes her right and she's kind of a ***** for expecting to have any say in the matter at all, but that seems far more logical than jealousy over you getting a job. I mean what kind of awful person would she have to be to not be rooting for you on that?

Either way, I agree with amoeba, if something like this turns into a day-long argument for whatever reason, that's a bad sign in general. You two seem to get mad at each other over the dumbest things and don't communicate well enough to even know specifically why you're arguing.


Weíve been working on her resume and trying to get her to move on from her ****hole job she only took for a green card visa.

I agree itís dumb. Like i said iím the most angry that sheís still angry about it. And i did take her advice and called them back within a half hour.

But the other night she was talking about how indecisive she is and i said ďyea, you dont even know if you want to be in a relationship with meĒ and she said yea.

Then she proceeds to go out saturday night with a really vague ďfriendĒ to which i was explicitly not invited. Why would i waste my time on someone like that? No matter how hot they are.

I made that mistake with kate and Iím not going to make it again. Sheís not attracted to me, doesnt like the person i am, and doesnt see herself with me long term. But still expects me to bend to her every whim. **** you, iím not a scrub pushover over some girl who is really attractive. Iím the prize here.
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Old 03-27-2018, 07:07 PM   #3468
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Agreed a day long argument over something like this is ridiculous. You both sound like you're being a bit petty and I'm tempted to agree with El D that you both get off on the drama. I've got friends exactly the same and my parents were too. It sounds horribly draining to me and as a child of a relationship that was like this I recommend you don't have kids with her. I don't get the impression she is being jealous of your success though.
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Old 03-27-2018, 07:10 PM   #3469
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

How am i supposed to feel about her giving me the cold shoulder all day? Especially after the fact she doesnt even see herself with me in any capacity other than me paying for these expensive trips that i dont even want to go on in the first place.

Of course iím pissed itís none of her business in the first place
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Old 03-27-2018, 07:15 PM   #3470
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Slowly digest that red pill J

Let it flow through you!

Mate drama sux, 99% of women are like this, endless headaches

They let things simmer. I wouldnt be surprised it was just a few random small things that ticked her off from previous weeks that she was "doing you a favour" by not arguing about at the time, then the stupid call back issue unleashed her previously bubbling disquiet
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Old 03-27-2018, 07:15 PM   #3471
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Can't you just go and talk to her and explain how what should be a great day is being spoilt over a meaningless squabble? Retreating to your car to drink and sulk isn't going to help resolve things.
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Old 03-27-2018, 07:36 PM   #3472
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

She's mad b/c of how you reacted to her telling you to call them back. She's also mad because you didn't stay with her when she was being pissy and not talking to you. How is she supposed to make sure you know how mad she is at you if you're not there when she's not talking to you?

Last edited by gregorio; 03-27-2018 at 07:41 PM.
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Old 03-27-2018, 07:43 PM   #3473
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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She's mad b/c of how you reacted to her telling you to call them back. She's also mad because you didn't stay with her when she was being pissy and not talking to you. How is she supposed to make sure you know how mad she is at you if you're not there when she's not talking to you?
This guy gets it!

The interactions between you guys are infuriating to read!
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Old 03-27-2018, 07:53 PM   #3474
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Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

J,

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakin View Post
I donít want this conflict. I wanted her to be happy for me and she isnít. I donít understand why thereís conflict in the first place.

Thereís conflict because both of you thrive on conflict and drama. Time and time again, both of you escalate situations to create maximum drama when they could easily be resolved if either of you were willing to yield a bit. But thatís not who either of you are.
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Old 03-27-2018, 09:25 PM   #3475
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Congrats on the jerb!
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