Two Plus Two Publishing LLC
Two Plus Two Publishing LLC
 

Go Back   Two Plus Two Poker Forums > >

Notices

House of Blogs I guess 2+2 is your blog.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-03-2013, 07:45 PM   #301
chopstick
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
chopstick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: where the weather suits my clothes
Posts: 8,665
Do what brianr said. Cut off all contact and erase her from your life. Do not respond to any attempts she makes to contact you.

Live your life and keep improving it and being awesome.
chopstick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 12:15 AM   #302
omnishakira
High Troller
 
omnishakira's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: BBV Alpha Male
Posts: 9,624
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakinmecrzy View Post
Eventually I gave in, hate ****ed her for like a minute and a half, put my clothes on, grabbed her birth control, made her swallow it, and left.
how romantic

Amazing how she plays around with human beings with absolutely no remorse. Very ****ed up individual.

Just curious, why have you decided to open up to her at this moment in your relationship. You had tons of doubt and you guys were very unstable. Seem like a weird timing.

Last edited by omnishakira; 12-04-2013 at 12:28 AM.
omnishakira is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 01:24 AM   #303
jmakin
 
jmakin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Streaming
Posts: 30,167
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakinmecrzy View Post
******************TLDR****************************


My girlfriend is being shady as ****.

I'm not a jealous or insecure guy. There's been times in this relationship where I would have almost welcomed her cheating on me - I was looking for a way out in June because she was SO needy, and pushing really hard for marriage when we were only dating about 6 months. Lately though, I thought it's been really good and I've generally been pretty satisfied with the relationship and its progress. Even have considered moving in with her when I get my captain's license.

So anyway, tonight she's visiting me at work and her phone buzzes. She was acting kind of weird and protective of it earlier, as well as acting sort of unusual last night, so I glanced over at it. It was a FB message from her ex boyfriend.

Now this is really fine with me. I still maintain long distance contact (friendly chit chat) with an old 2 week fling of mine who I consider a good friend now. But this guy has been calling for MONTHS and months, 4-5x a day, never leaving any messages or FB messages that I can recall. Stopping by her house at weird times of the day/night and then just leaving. I thought it was unusual to say the least, but never really mentioned anything to her other than "if you want it to stop, just tell him. Honestly I don't know why you don't block his number or tell him to leave you alone."

I left it at that. But as I try to get a peek of what he sent her, she instantly hides her phone and starts acting weird. And I said, "Well ok, what the hell did he say?" and she wouldn't show me. Now, I'm not one to get all freaked out and insecure, but then my alarm bells are going off. "what's the big deal? just tell me."

She goes on this long, uber defensive tirade about how he ALWAYS ruins her relationships and ALWAYS tries to get in the way of her and her boyfriends, blah blah blah. And I said, hold on now, it's never bothered me before, why can't I see what he wrote? And she kept on with the "OMG he ruins EVERYTHING!"

So then at this point I say, "Ok, you're being shady as ****. I thought you were having no contact with him, and I saw at least 2 replies in there. wtf is going on?" She continues to be really defensive and just storms off and leaves without hardly saying bye. She seemed to me like someone REALLY caught with something and didn't know what to do but escape the situation. I told her quite simply I'd never hide anything from her and I'm not sure why she's acting this way, but that I didn't like it at all.

We text for about an hour and a half and I told her very simply that she needs to tell me what's going on, and please don't contact me again until you do. She goes a long time without replying and says OK FINE! I didn't want to show you because I thought you'd be upset but he has the password to "find my iphone" and tracked me to your work and sent me this message and I thought you'd be mad because you told me to change my password!!!"

and sends me a SS of basically him at 6 am asking her what's up, then asking again at 5:30 PM. she says sup back, he says idk that's why i'm asking you? and she says "iono."

then nothing til 11 PM and it's a "U going out tomorrow night too?"


Now, I have a master's degree in detecting bull**** just from reading these boards all these years. FIRST OF ALL: Do you expect me to believe that you HONESTLY thought I'd freak out about that tiny little message, when over the last 8 months I've hardly said anything at all about his stalkerish, weird behavior? Really?

SECONDLY, and when i asked her this, she went silent 2 hours ago and never responded: in the fraction of a second she glanced at her phone, saw who it was, and hid it from me, I'm supposed to believe that she read the ENTIRE message, pieced together from that question that he somehow had gotten her GPS info, and decided it was something I would be angry about? In like 1/4 of a second? A girl who honestly maybe reads 20 words a minute.

NO. WAY. absolutely not. maybe I'm reading too much into it - but it's making more sense the longer I think about it. What *I* think probably happened, is they were chatting back and forth, he wanted to hang out tonight, and she said she was busy tonight. he responded back, "you going out tomorrow night too?"

This is the most benign scenario but it has messy implications. I can think of 50 others that are way worse. Even IF what she's telling me is true, and I can't imagine I'm getting 100% of the story here - why not just show me? If you're THAT worried that what he's messaging you is gonna **** with your relationship, WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE AND LET ME IMAGINE IT'S SOMETHING 10000X WORSE? Why maintain contact with him at ALL? I told her, if you honestly wanted no contact with this guy you would have blocked his ****ing number and blocked his FB. She said she never thought of that.

I know in OOT and some other forums everyone's so cynical and the tiniest thing a chick does is "She's cheating on you gg" but there is a very small/decent chance that she's just incredibly dumb, thought I'd overreact to his message, and behaved in a way that made it worse. I find this unlikely because I've never really been all that jealous of a guy, but she'll bring it out of me, on purpose I think.


Jesus Christ, I'm truly sorry if you read all that.
jesus ****ing christ i'm rereading this thread and I forgot about that exchange she had with him. god i feel sick to my stomach. it seems like he was trying to find out if she was busy or not to have sex. this coulda been a 3-4x weekly thing. this event should have told me plain and clear she was doing something with him.

i'm such a ****ing idiot. i can't stop thinking about this ****. you guys are all, "Just forget about her." It's not that easy. I can't stop thinking about it. I thought about it all day, all last night, ever since this happened. I know right now she is probably with the hawaii dude, and she's probably ****ing him. I'm sitting home alone, drinking myself to sleep. I could call one of my booty calls, but I'm not in the mood, and I don't think it's gonna make me feel better.

Like what in the holy **** I just want to stop thinking about it. The few hours of sleep I've had have been dreams about it. This must be what going insane feels like. Some insane part of me wants to go through all of her text messages going back months and see where all the points were that she probably was cheating on me. I don't know why I want to know everything so badly, some insane part of me wants to know EVERY time it happened, when, where I was, and what I was doing that day. I have no clue why.
jmakin is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 01:42 AM   #304
jmakin
 
jmakin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Streaming
Posts: 30,167
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

ok i really pissed her off now and i feel a little better. actually, a lot better.
jmakin is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 01:45 AM   #305
microbet
Solar Powered
 
microbet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: SoCal
Posts: 52,720
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

You can't stop thinking about it until after you stop doing anything about, including writing and talking about it. Act like you don't care and soon enough you won't.

I was in love with a girl, and with her for almost a year, who fooled around with a good friend and then at least one more person (she wasn't paid as a whore, but was a sloot who later became a meth addict stripper). She didn't want to break up, but she didn't want to stop being a sloot either. I spent a couple weeks making a fool out of myself, but when I saw her for the last time and then never ever ever tried to get in contact with her again and never spoke of her to anyone (I think I'm in the clear now, 20 years later) that was my road to recovery.
microbet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 01:48 AM   #306
Peter Porker
old hand
 
Peter Porker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: The Spectacular Spider-Ham
Posts: 1,882
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakinmecrzy View Post
ok i really pissed her off now and i feel a little better. actually, a lot better.
Why would that make you feel better?
Peter Porker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 02:00 AM   #307
jmakin
 
jmakin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Streaming
Posts: 30,167
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by microbet View Post
You can't stop thinking about it until after you stop doing anything about, including writing and talking about it. Act like you don't care and soon enough you won't.

I was in love with a girl, and with her for almost a year, who fooled around with a good friend and then at least one more person (she wasn't paid as a whore, but was a sloot who later became a meth addict stripper). She didn't want to break up, but she didn't want to stop being a sloot either. I spent a couple weeks making a fool out of myself, but when I saw her for the last time and then never ever ever tried to get in contact with her again and never spoke of her to anyone (I think I'm in the clear now, 20 years later) that was my road to recovery.
isn't that just repressing it? I turn anger inward if i don't channel it outward.

i don't know why it makes me feel better. knowing i got to her is what does it. knowing i've exerted some control over the situation helps me feel better about it.
jmakin is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 02:10 AM   #308
Peter Porker
old hand
 
Peter Porker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: The Spectacular Spider-Ham
Posts: 1,882
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Meh, getting to people is easy. That's not control. Self-control is true control.
Peter Porker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 02:27 AM   #309
microbet
Solar Powered
 
microbet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: SoCal
Posts: 52,720
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakinmecrzy View Post
isn't that just repressing it? I turn anger inward if i don't channel it outward.

i don't know why it makes me feel better. knowing i got to her is what does it. knowing i've exerted some control over the situation helps me feel better about it.
I'm really not an angry person, so perhaps we're just different, but I'm not in the camp that not expressing your emotions is bottling them up into an explosion or an ulcer or something. IMHO, you don't have to be heard, you don't have to work through it, you don't have to be validated, it is not important. You have some feelings that will pass if you let them.
microbet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 04:53 AM   #310
Mr.mmmKay
Drugs are bad...
 
Mr.mmmKay's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Treat your womenfolk with care
Posts: 16,104
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

what did you do to piss her off
Mr.mmmKay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 05:31 AM   #311
Sciolist
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
Sciolist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Tallinn
Posts: 17,546
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakinmecrzy View Post
isn't that just repressing it? I turn anger inward if i don't channel it outward.
Repressing anger makes you feel less angry next time. That includes repressing anger against yourself. The whole hippy-LA thing of expressing your anger means that you just get more angry in the future (there're empirical studies about this stuff)
Sciolist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 07:41 AM   #312
jmakin
 
jmakin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Streaming
Posts: 30,167
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by DosXX View Post
Hey J,

I believe I'm in your area (westside LA?). If you ever just need to get out and grab a drink, let me know. Best of luck, keep writing, I admire your ability to lay your feelings out on paper.
thanks. I live probably 25 miles south of you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by omnishakira View Post
how romantic

Amazing how she plays around with human beings with absolutely no remorse. Very ****ed up individual.

Just curious, why have you decided to open up to her at this moment in your relationship. You had tons of doubt and you guys were very unstable. Seem like a weird timing.
I don't know. She convinced me that we were right for each other and she always insisted the major problem in our relationship was that I wouldn't "commit fully." I had reservations, sure, but I knew how I felt about her and I figured I'd try to make her understand how much. She never felt I truly "loved" her which drove me crazy because I really did.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.mmmKay View Post
what did you do to piss her off
I realized that it drives her even more nuts to think about me sleeping with other chicks than it does me thinking of her sleeping with other guys - so I sent her a text that said, "Man, [girl i hook up with that she can't stand] sucks dick way better than you. Surprising, considering your profession."

This made her CAPS LOCK ANGRY and she was STILL trying to say "maybe we aren't right for each other" and that she wanted to be with me and loved me, ad nauseum. I asked her how many hours after I left the other night did she **** this guy, and if the "jizz just sloshed around in there or something" which I thought was pretty funny and pissed her off pretty badly. I also asked her if she charged by the hour or if it was a one time fee anything goes type of thing. She's pretty pissed off.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sciolist View Post
Repressing anger makes you feel less angry next time. That includes repressing anger against yourself. The whole hippy-LA thing of expressing your anger means that you just get more angry in the future (there're empirical studies about this stuff)
Eh, I don't know about this.
jmakin is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 07:43 AM   #313
jmakin
 
jmakin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Streaming
Posts: 30,167
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Also, I swear to god, if I do end up having HPV, I am going to blow a ****ing gasket.
jmakin is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 11:46 AM   #314
bahbahmickey
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
bahbahmickey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: UTG-3
Posts: 10,186
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakinmecrzy View Post
I realized that it drives her even more nuts to think about me sleeping with other chicks than it does me thinking of her sleeping with other guys - so I sent her a text that said, "Man, [girl i hook up with that she can't stand] sucks dick way better than you. Surprising, considering your profession."

This made her CAPS LOCK ANGRY and she was STILL trying to say "maybe we aren't right for each other" and that she wanted to be with me and loved me, ad nauseum. I asked her how many hours after I left the other night did she **** this guy, and if the "jizz just sloshed around in there or something" which I thought was pretty funny and pissed her off pretty badly. I also asked her if she charged by the hour or if it was a one time fee anything goes type of thing. She's pretty pissed off.
I hesitate to say this because I don't think your back and forth with her is good for you, but that first text is hilarious. You pissed her off/ made your point. It's going to be difficult, but you have to try to move on.
bahbahmickey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 11:48 AM   #315
ClarkNasty
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
ClarkNasty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 10x the man Clarkmeister is
Posts: 35,260
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Just stop. It's now pathetic.
ClarkNasty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 12:26 PM   #316
jmakin
 
jmakin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Streaming
Posts: 30,167
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by ClarkNasty View Post
Just stop. It's now pathetic.
More pathetic than being duped by a whore for a year? I mean really, that's not very high on my list of things I'm concerned about.

I had a long talk with my therapist and stressed to him my level of rage and how I'm having issues controlling it. He just kept saying I should be really glad to get her out of my life, told me I made a huge mistake by getting back with her, and to not contact her again.

All obvious things. I need to know what things to do RIGHT THIS MOMENT, practical things, to stop thinking about this and becoming so pissed off. He said I should be a little pissed at myself, which I am. Maybe stop seeing myself as a victim and acknowledging my responsibility in this would be healthier, even though I do think I'm a victim in this.

He wants us to talk every other day during this period so I'm gonna do that by phone. I'll not contact her again. It'll be hard if she contacts me.
jmakin is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 12:32 PM   #317
ClarkNasty
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
ClarkNasty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 10x the man Clarkmeister is
Posts: 35,260
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Great advice. All of it. Block her number. Change your own number if you have to.

But for goodness sake man pull yourself up and stop acting like a whiny loser. All that is hurt in this is your ego. You now know for sure what you wanted to know months ago, this should make it easier to move on. You're acting worse than the losers in OOT who ignore advice because you know better. As you noted, it's about how you deal with things right now that matters. Man up.
ClarkNasty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 01:16 PM   #318
jmakin
 
jmakin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Streaming
Posts: 30,167
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I get your point but I think a lot of guys in my spot go more ape**** than I currently am/was.

My therapist had some good things to say, though he kinda irritates me sometimes because it's always a hindsight game with him, "Well you shouldn't have got back with her."

No ****. I knew it even when I was doing it. What I wanna know is how I can deal with the fallout RIGHT NOW, how I can control my rage RIGHT NOW (before I do something even more stupid than the stuff I've been doing) and how I can avoid this type of thing in the future.

He mentioned over and over that initially when I started seeing this girl, I had realistic expectations and suspected she had some deeper issues. He said he was very concerned when I told him about her hypersexuality, and kept mentioning that. I obviously trusted my instincts back then, but I didn't see the harm in continuing. What was the worst that could happen? I need to be more cautious in the future because that was a hilariously stupid and naive mindset.

He said if he had to pinpoint a diagnosis he'd say she has a sex addiction on the extreme end of anything he's dealt with before. He said it's really uncommon to see this type of behavior in a woman, and that if I had issues trusting people before, I couldn't have possibly found a worst person to get involved with. He said the path she's going down isn't going to end well, she's never gonna be happy, and probably is going to end up dead from it. "She'll piss off the wrong guy doing this stuff, and she'll be murdered. It happens all the time."

That was kind of a scary thing to hear because while I am not a violent guy I definitely have rage issues. I told him this and that's when he suggested we talk as much as possible. He said anti-anxiety meds for sleep and anti-depressants could help me and to ask my doctor about it, who I'm gonna see next week for an STD test.

Today, the things I need to do are doing about 150 math problems before my final tomorrow, which I have no idea how I'm gonna pull off because I don't feel like doing anything, but it's gotta get done so it will. Sleep just isn't happening anyway so I may as well be studying.

I registered for all my classes next semester and got everything I needed which was nice. Next thing to do this week is to order checks (i've never owned a checkbook) so I can mail my captain's course application in. I'm struggling to find time but I think I can do that on friday.
jmakin is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 01:17 PM   #319
Sciolist
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
Sciolist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Tallinn
Posts: 17,546
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmakinmecrzy View Post
No ****. I knew it even when I was doing it
Well, here's another time when you should know not to do it when you were doing it. You're meant to use those times to learn for the next one.
Sciolist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 01:23 PM   #320
ClarkNasty
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
ClarkNasty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: 10x the man Clarkmeister is
Posts: 35,260
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Try writing. Not here. Just a free flowing thought stream to yourself. Get it all out. THink of everything. How you're feeling, how you felt. Let the paper absorb it and get it out of your brain into somewhere where it can safely reside. I've found that writing is a hugely calming exercise that allows me to release emotions in a healthy way.

Do you exercise? Yoga? Sign up for a daily class - something you have to be at. Structure will help.

RIGHT NOW you need to force yourself to do those things you don't want to do but need to do. Nothing will make you feel better. Avoiding those things is a spiral downward.
ClarkNasty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 01:29 PM   #321
jmakin
 
jmakin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Streaming
Posts: 30,167
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

That actually helped me a lot when my dad died. I'll do that.

Luckily on the final I only need to get a 44% to keep an A in the class.

Exercise is hard for me since my knee surgery but my doctor recommended a gym with a punching bag. I've also been smoking like a chimney so that's not helping. Depending on how much it costs I think this weekend I will go down to the gym and sign up. I really like working out, and even if I don't do much, sitting in the sauna or jacuzzi could be a relaxing getaway.
jmakin is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 01:45 PM   #322
tylertwo
 
tylertwo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: The Boz turns...
Posts: 8,267
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Exercise is good. I would blast myself into tiredness so I couldn't feel much. I'm glad to read that you are keeping up with your studies, I hope you don't let this effect that area of your life. (Old teacher talking...) GL
tylertwo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2013, 04:13 PM   #323
jmakin
 
jmakin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Streaming
Posts: 30,167
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

It will affect it, but luckily i worked hard this year and even if i fail my finals i'll have a 4.0.

Today something cool happened. My coworker is super nice and got me a job on a tour boat. Pays about 150-200$/day. Not a bad holiday job, should keep me busy.
jmakin is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-05-2013, 04:16 AM   #324
sublime_fan24
adept
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 877
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Your blog went from insightful, self-aware, just enduring life...really enjoyable to read...to...Jerry Springer (I am not trying to be mean, but it is a fair analogy).

The need to get revenge by saying mean ****, driving by her house multiple times (the time you confronted her and the next time)...hell, even contacting her again in the first place...all very immature and makes you seem high school aged. I realize I am being judgmental here, but I think you have been fairly open to criticism and obv do a blog for a reason.

Stay away from the crazies cuz they bring out the worst in you.
sublime_fan24 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2013, 09:58 AM   #325
jmakin
 
jmakin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Streaming
Posts: 30,167
Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

She's still desperately trying to manipulate me and has been begging me to come over and have sex with her. I have twice, and when we finish, she starts with the whole "you're the only one I want, I love you" routine and I just get pissed off, tell her to go **** herself, and leave.

I'm not going over there anymore. I was doing it because I felt I had a position of power - and it felt good to take control of the situation by calling the shots and being emotionally unattached. She thinks I love her because "you just can't turn that off overnight."

I said sorry, you're a whore, and considering the circumstances, you're lucky I went from murderous rage down to barely-able-to-tolerate-your-presence. I don't love her, and whatever feelings I had, I told her, were based on a fictitious representation of herself. So those feelings are void.

I told my therapist about all of the stuff this week, and he said he never would have suggested going to see her, but said when he heard me talk about it, he thinks it was the best thing for me because I'm in control and am in no danger of getting back with her. I know the score, she is unable to bull**** me anymore.

When I was over there the other night I started getting calls from a few chick friends of mine, which was bad timing, but it enraged her. She actually had the balls to tell me not to sleep with other girls if I wanted to have sex with her. I said LOL **** off, the balls of you to try to tell me not to sleep with other people? You've gotta be kidding me.

In her mind, she thinks she satisfies me more than anyone else. She doesn't understand why I'd wanna sleep with other people other than her. It's narcissism to its extreme. That and the fact she IS sleeping with/dating this other guy, to try to tell me she isn't gonna do it, AND doesn't want me to sleep with other people - it sounds like she wants exactly what our relationship was like - which consisted of her constantly lying to me and then wanting me all to herself.

So after I hate ****ed her, I told her I was gonna go hang out with my friends (including the chick that called me) and she got enraged and strangled me, then started the whole cycle of begging/crying whatever and I just left.

I guess part of me really likes to see her sob and beg. I know it's probably not sincere, because she's a master manipulator, but I thought I saw a hint of remorse the other night.

Anyway that all said I don't really want to see her again but the sex is crazy. It's not really worth all the other drama and pain, though, and I still get the sense she may be manipulating me, even if she may not realize it completely right now. She'll see just a little hint of weakness and then pounce on it.

I've never really met anyone this ****ed up, but I feel a lot better after all that's happened this week. I'm much more in control, my feelings are more detached, and I'm feeling very assertive of myself in other areas of my life too.

I am going to my doctor next week for a physical and will get an STD screen. Everyone I've been with in the last few months has been tested and has tested clean - so I'm a little more optimistic about it. I'm gonna try to get my health in order. I'm not exactly sure what to tell my doctor because I have so many chronic problems, but the main thing I think I'm gonna tell him about is a brain tumor that they found in my head about 4 years ago that was supposed to be small and benign but I never followed up and got it checked out. Not exactly sure how to go about telling him.

Also, I think I'm gonna get some antidepressants for good measure considering my history of depression. this has potential to trigger that, and I just don't want to slide into that funk again.
jmakin is online now   Reply With Quote

Reply
      

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:07 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2008-2017, Two Plus Two Interactive
 
 
Poker Players - Streaming Live Online