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Old 12-02-2013, 02:21 PM   #251
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Don't talk to her, don't meet her, don't talk to her friends, don't have any interaction with her whatsoever.

I don't want to sound melodramatic, but saying "the rage is just building, building..." is the kind of thing murderers say before the fact.

Go spend a week on holiday somewhere.
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Old 12-02-2013, 02:32 PM   #252
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

that's a good idea. no one's gonna get hurt/killed, i'm not a violent person. far more likely to hurt myself than anyone else.
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Old 12-02-2013, 02:42 PM   #253
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

From what I know I don't think you'd be violent, but it's a very bad mindset to be in. Much better to go find a beach somewhere (or whatever)
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Old 12-02-2013, 06:19 PM   #254
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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This is one of those times where if you're psychopathic it's hard to not ruin her life, but when you're not psychopathic like we are, it's obvious that you should not do anything.
Fixed.
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Old 12-02-2013, 06:41 PM   #255
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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From what I know I don't think you'd be violent, but it's a very bad mindset to be in. Much better to go find a beach somewhere (or whatever)
i dont know how this is gonna help but i appreciate the suggestion and i will try to find a moment or two to unwind this weekend. finals are this week so i'm a bit occupied.

luckily I only need to get D's on them to keep an A in all my classes, so I'm totally half assing them. I really can't concentrate.
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Old 12-02-2013, 07:07 PM   #256
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Move on and do not look back. Don't ever see, call, text, email her again. Erase all pics, contact info, emails, etc. block her numbers, unfriend. After finals are over, go visit a friend out of town somewhere for as long as you can.
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Old 12-02-2013, 09:09 PM   #257
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

My step grandma, who is basically my surrogate mother, had some good words to say about the situation (and I told her everything), this is pretty verbatim:

"Prostitution is a profession. It's something that in some countries is regulated, and here, it's usually born out of desperation or necessity. There's even a certain nobility to it, even though it's tragic. What [ex] did is not that. She didn't need money. She wasn't homeless. She wasn't starving. She had a nice car, and a good job. What she did, and what she does, is called whoring. She is a filthy whore, and a cheap one at that. Don't waste your time feeling sad about a cheap whore. Be pissed, and vow to not be gullible again."
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Old 12-02-2013, 09:37 PM   #258
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

That's awesome
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Old 12-02-2013, 10:55 PM   #259
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Go back and reread the posts you made after your latest breakup. Remember how you were happy to finally be rid of this girl who was an overwhelmingly negative force in your life, and how happy you were that you finally realized this, despite the positive things she also represented?

Now realize that nothing has changed except you had a temporary setback of like a week when you went back to her.

We've all been there. I was in a very similar relationship a few years ago, it took me another 5 months after getting back together before it was (mostly) over. Consider yourself lucky.
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Old 12-02-2013, 10:58 PM   #260
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

j,

You should read the manbearpig cheating thread. It was completely obvious to everyone - even mpb, in retrospect - that his wife was cheating. But he kept finding justifications and she kept feeding him "trickle truths," half-truths that disguised the reality and assuaged his fears. Put aside the money for a second and focus on the fact that you knew, the whole time, she was cheating, and yet kept getting reassured by trickle truths.

Also, to paraphrase: "Just because you're insecure doesn't mean she's not cheating."
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Old 12-02-2013, 11:03 PM   #261
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

The only thing surprising in this string of updates is that you tried to reconcile. After all your posts about amichelle and the BPD girl I would have thought you knew better.

Just drop her and do your best never to communicate with her again imo, but that was already true before the latest developments. Your attachment to her will fade away if you give it a chance. That's 100% true.
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Old 12-02-2013, 11:13 PM   #262
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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The only thing surprising in this string of updates is that you tried to reconcile. After all your posts about amichelle and the BPD girl I would have thought you knew better.

Just drop her and do your best never to communicate with her again imo, but that was already true before the latest developments. Your attachment to her will fade away if you give it a chance. That's 100% true.
This is fodder for a number of pretty harsh posts for sure (some of which I've been saving up during 2 months of being tempbanned), but let's not kick a man when he's down. Most of us are idiots from time to time, I know I certainly was during that period of my life.
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Old 12-02-2013, 11:26 PM   #263
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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This is fodder for a number of pretty harsh posts for sure (some of which I've been saving up during 2 months of being tempbanned), but let's not kick a man when he's down. Most of us are idiots from time to time, I know I certainly was during that period of my life.
That post of mine was a gift, not kicking him when he's down. I was very tempted to just not post at all and stop giving a ****. Kicking him when he's down is saying is he's that weak and stupid he deserves what he gets.
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Old 12-03-2013, 01:07 AM   #264
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Well, I apologize, I didn't realize that posters here really cared all that much about whatever I do. I post here for other's entertainment.

I appreciate everyone's feedback a lot and the comments here. They are much less harsh than I expected, although I'm sure to take a pounding down the line about all this. Whatever.

It's important to realize I didn't really believe my ex was anything like amichele or had BPD at all - there were similarities, but like I said, I think NPD is far more likely. It's also important to note that when you're stuck in this, it's really difficult. First you get weird, paranoid thoughts and say to yourself, "Why would she do that to me? I didn't do anything wrong."

Then you believe all the lies and they seem plausible and you don't really have any reason to believe they ARE lies... then the cracks start to show, you become more paranoid, and they start to blame it on YOU. like it's your fault these things are happening/that you feel this way. they degrade your self esteem until eventually you feel like you deserve it. Then you're stuck.

I'm an extremely patient and trusting person and probably one of the few on this earth that would tolerate her **** in a meaningful, kind way and try to help her. She drove it into the ground for like no reason at all. It's astounding to me.
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Old 12-03-2013, 01:12 AM   #265
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I can't find the MBP thread anywhere, did it get deleted?
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Old 12-03-2013, 01:41 AM   #266
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

It is entertainment, but you've got to invest a little into the characters to enjoy the story.
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Old 12-03-2013, 01:42 AM   #267
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

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Jesus christ, no.

OP, I know it's not as easy as it sounds, but get out. This isn't getting better for you. You can gloss over all the negative **** by saying "well she's got a great personality" but bottom line is these people are absolutely ****ing INSANE and there is something deeply wrong inside that can't really be fixed.

Personality disorders are nearly impossible to treat, it isn't getting better, and unless you want a lifetime of hell I suggest you take the next convenient exit.
Quote:
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I strongly believe my ex has BPD and she has all the elements of personality listed here. I've talked about it in my blog, but basically:

Sudden rage
Physical abusiveness
Impulsivity
Lying
No trust
Mood swings
Clinginess
Blaming others
Manipulation


Ad nauseum. I wish i'd left earlier, i tried to help her and it caused me quite a bit of pain.

Good posts. Turn around and don't look back.
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Old 12-03-2013, 01:48 AM   #268
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I really want to know WHY this ****ing happened. It makes no sense to me. Like, I know I'm broke and probably a POS or whatever, but I do have a lot going for me. I'm decent looking, I'm intelligent, I can be witty, I'm great in bed... these are all great qualities. Why **** with someone like that? A lot of guys my age are broke. A lot of guys my age don't have their own place and aren't self sufficient. Shouldn't this be attractive? Why do these things? I really wanna believe she did fall in love with who I am, but couldn't control whatever ****ed up urges she has deep inside. I have no idea.

Dare I say... I'm unlucky?

Last edited by jmakin; 12-03-2013 at 01:56 AM.
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Old 12-03-2013, 01:54 AM   #269
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

You saw the warning signs. It's so easy to go into denial tho. Very human. This isn't bad luck. It's just ****ty. Sometimes in life bad things happen and we just have to move on. It is a little be careful what you wish for.


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why can't i ever find bat**** insane girls like this.
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Old 12-03-2013, 02:00 AM   #270
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

so like, what, I'm attracted to it? drawn to it? I've ****ed loads of crazy girls since I made that post. One became obsessed with me like this girl was and I never felt the need to continue it. I've never gone in this deep with any of them.
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Old 12-03-2013, 02:04 AM   #271
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

You knew what was up. You tried hard to fight the good fight and get through it and give her the benefit of the doubt because you didn't want to believe it. It didn't work and it wasn't your fault that it didn't. Now, listen to yourself, and more importantly, listen to Grandma.
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Old 12-03-2013, 02:10 AM   #272
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Yea, she had a lot of good advice. She did say to be really pissed off and let it out, but that I wasn't allowed to hurt anyone or anything in the process. How the **** do you let out anger then? Scream into a pillow? That doesn't ****ing do anything. I want someone to ****ing pay, whether it be this other guy, her, or hell, even myself. Someone needs to ****ing pay for it. It's not right, nothing's right about it.
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Old 12-03-2013, 02:12 AM   #273
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

No, actually no one needs to pay (insert joke here).

But seriously, focus on today and what you control about getting your **** together. She doesn't exist and neither do those tools.
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Old 12-03-2013, 02:34 AM   #274
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

I don't understand why you care enough to be angry. Are you angry at her or yourself?
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Old 12-03-2013, 07:24 AM   #275
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Re: Jmakinmeangry's debauchery and general idiocy blog

Quote:
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I really want to know WHY this ****ing happened. It makes no sense to me. Like, I know I'm broke and probably a POS or whatever, but I do have a lot going for me. I'm decent looking, I'm intelligent, I can be witty, I'm great in bed... these are all great qualities. Why **** with someone like that? A lot of guys my age are broke. A lot of guys my age don't have their own place and aren't self sufficient. Shouldn't this be attractive? Why do these things? I really wanna believe she did fall in love with who I am, but couldn't control whatever ****ed up urges she has deep inside. I have no idea.
It had nothing to do with you. It was all about her.
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