Not sure if you guys will really get the humor, but my good friend busticator has urged me to share this with the community. While playing regularly at the Borgata I picked up the phrase "horror show," which means an opponent so bad that his play is considered horrific. I of course started using it amongst the MD regs and it's caught on (along with a few other ones obv). Me and gambr gambr enjoy taking this to the next level and telling each other ridiculous hands we've witnessed in the form of a narrative to really capitalize on the absurdity factor. I'll start things off:
While railing our friend Jeff online:
Here's a tale from the sorcerer's lair: Jeff opens 8
8
to $4 after UTG limp. UTG limp/calls, hu flop is:
K
2
3
UTG check/calls $6.
Turn: 6
UTG check/calls $13.
River: 2
UTG snap open shoves all in for $64 with (cue rhythmic chanting, spells being cast, dark storm clouds ahead, goblins congregating, zombies lurching, mummies awaking from a thousand year slumber, werewolves gnashing teeth)...........
the might 8
7
(yes this is an actual hand somehow)
Here is another one:
Excerpt from today's obituaries: March 30, 2014. Cutoff opens to $3, our beloved departed 3bs to $8.50 on BTN while Jeff cold 4bs from SB to $23 with A
K
. BTN reaches for his phone and calls.
A frightening visionary spreads three cards of fate:
A, T, 8 of diverse suits. Our hero elects to place a wager of $34, while the dearly departed brings out a shovel for $160....Jeff calls.
(Skies darken, rain spatter on greyed tombstones. A black crow caws menacingly on a faraway branch while the earth rumbles. Our beloved could only muster up a 2
and a 3
in his possession, and left this world shortly after the turn and river sealed his fatality. Rest in peace, our beloved. Survived by Bovada players universally.
Feel free to contribute your own narratives, or ignore this completely if this doesn't make any sense or looks just plain stupid.