I read a lot of the late Molly Ivins' stuff today. IDK why, somehow I saw her name somewhere or something and one thing led to another (like this run-on sentence) and next thing I know I'm reading an excerpt from her book "Who Let the Dogs In." There was one passage that resonated with me and I need to share it with all/both of you:
Actually he said it in Italian. I trust Ms Ivins with the proper translation, though she probably had someone else do the translating. This isn't a courtroom; third party hearsay is admissible. Sit down and listen.

Anyway, that quote is frightening to me. It's too close to what's happening now, with election day* a week away. She only wrote the book nine years ago.

*********************

*Funny true story about "election day." Many years ago there was a special election going on here in Denver. At the time, bars couldn't sell liquor on election day here. So anyway I went to my favorite after-work watering hole on that day, which was one of those Japanese style hibachi restaurants. No one was there; the usual crowd was unusually absent. The bartender, a young Japanese gent said to me "Oh, Letdog, so solly the bar crosed today. It's erection day.

Another close call

Asteroid 2014 UF56 just missed us on Monday by about 100,000 miles, which is less than half the distance to the moon. It's not a very big rock, between 9-20 meters. That's less than the size of the Chelyabinsk meteor. Big enough to do a little damage to the third rock though.

*******

Richard Kowalski, a member of the Catalina Sky Survey (CSS) in Tucson, Arizona, found a couple of new comets recently. Comet P/2014 U2 (Kowalski), first observed 10/18/14, is a periodic comet with an elliptical orbit that ranges from near Jupiter's orbit to between Earth and Mars. It doesn't get very close to earth, and is now 38 million miles away. Size is about 270 m - 590 m. Wouldn't it be cool to have your last name and U2 said in the same breath?

Comet C/2014 U3 (Kowalski) was first observed 10/27/14 is pretty cool. This bad boy, 3-7 km diameter, has an orbit inclined to Earth's at about 149 degrees, which means it's a retrograde (opposite direction of the planets) orbit at 31 degrees inclination. It got pretty close to Mercury on 7/5 before it reached the "bottom" of its orbit around July 15th within and far below Mercury's orbit. It's now on its way back out to either the Kuiper Belt or probably the Oort Cloud, they don't know and maybe never will. HEY STELLLLLAAAAAAA!

The British Astronomical Association has a list of comets discovered this year.

Getting my daily ration of pissed off

Being the old curmudgeon that I am, I was looking in on Gawker reading about the Waltons. In the comments section a commenter likened the economy to the human body where money is the blood that keeps it alive. I thought, "what if the body was run like a corporation?" Imagine this conversation in the body's boardroom:

Brain (CEO & Chairman of the Board): Bone Marrow, we need more blood. I need you to make more blood.

Bone Marrow (Sales): It's not my fault! Stomach is using blood but not sending me enough nutrients.

Brain: Stomach, you get no more blood until you send nutrients.

Stomach (Manufacturing): It's not my fault! Mouth isn't sending me food.

Mouth (Receiving): It's not my fault! Hands aren't delivering food to me.

Hands: Arms aren't moving me to pick up the food to deliver to Mouth.

Arms: There's no food here. Legs need to move us to the food.

Legs: I have just enough blood to stand right here. I need more blood if I have to carry all you to where the food is. In fact since the last cutback of blood I've had to sit on our ass some days just to stay upright. By the way, Brain, didn't you give yourself a big bonus of blood after the cutback?

Brain: NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS! But yes I did. I needed it after thinking of that fantastic strategy. I was exhausted. Now get back to work all of you. I, I mean, WE need more blood.

Liver: I feel sick.

Speaking of eating
Fort Lauderdale FL is doing something about feeding the homeless, by making it extremely difficult to feed the homeless.
That's because there's a dearth of ****cans the public can use. So the Fort Lauderdale Commission wants all the homeless people to leave town. To encourage this they took a vote at 3:30 in the morning to bugger any attempts to feed the homeless. To prove that they're serious they busted a 90 year old man for doing just that. I guess the big difference between a drive-up window and what they're doing is somebody is making money off of the drive-up.

Chinese going postal

The Chinese government has reportedlyhacked the US Postal Service. Maybe they can fix it.

Tonight's the Final Table

The WSOP Main Event Final Table airs live tonight on ESPN2 AT 8:00 PM eastern with a 30 minute delay. I can't find a live stream, sorry. Heads up airs tomorrow night at 9:00 eastern on ESPN. GOGOGOGOGOGO NEWHIZZLE.

Divorce is expensive, but ...

I hope she was worth it.
Nov 10 (Reuters) - Continental Resources Chief Executive Officer Harold Hamm has been ordered to pay nearly $1 billion to his ex-wife in one of the largest-ever U.S. divorce judgments, according to a court filing on Monday.

Don't feel sorry for him. His stake in company stock is worth nearly $14 billion. He may have to cut back on polo pony feed or something. Poor guy.

I may not post for a while. My wife just had a stroke and it's been taking up a lot of my time. When **** levels out I may be back with more scientific/economic/political drivel. TIA for well wishes.

Sending good vibes your way man.

I am so sorry to hear this. You are in my thoughts.

Sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you and your wife.

Felicitations for whichever holiday(s) you may be celebrating.

So it's been nearly three months since the stroke. Lots to talk about. Not much time to post except for little one liners here and there. I did do some writing today, a novella I am in the beginning stages of putting together. Just something therapeutic for me to express some of what I am experiencing. A small introduction to some of the characters:


Working title: The IGGIES

Forget about the novella.

I had an epiphany that explains reincarnation. Consider the following scene:

Scene: Heaven. The Pearly Gates. Gate 1 in the Afterlife Airport.
Players: St. Peter (naturally), Pope John Paul II, Spirit Delivery Service driver Angel Martin, Pope Paul VI

JPII is in the garb of a TSA agent at the boarding gate. His job as the new guy is to check the boarding passes of all inbound souls as well as supply earth with fresh souls for new births.

Angel Martin: SPS! Yaypee? Choo got 280,000 new ones? Wees priddy short down dere.

JPII: OY! We got supply problem. Hey Pete! PEETAAAAHH.

Saint Peter (out of scene): WHAT?

JPII: Did you ... wait a minute ... (to inbound soul) Hold on a minute. This ticket is for Gate 2. This is Gate 1. Gate 2 is at the end of the hall to the right. That's for Purgatory. This is for flights to heaven. Sorry. God bless you. Move along. Where was I? Oh yeah, PEETAAAAHH!

StP: WHAAAAA?

JPII: Spirit Delivery is here for 280,000 more souls. I can't cover that. Did you get the boss to create a couple million reserve yet?

StP: Gaaaa ****. I forgot. Hey I'm older than you are, I foget **** too. With all those holy wars going on everybody gets in. The rush last week put me back a few days.

Angel: Senor Yaypee, Senor San Pedro, can I get my packages?

JPII: PACKAGES? PACKAGES! WE DOAN NEE NO STEENKING PACKAGES!

StP: John, we heard that from Belushi when he had Angel's job. Every stinking day. Same thing. Over and over. Finally even God got tired of his **** and we sent him to hell.

JPII: (to inbound soul) Hold on a minute. This ticket is for Gate 2. This is Gate 1. Gate 2 is at the end of the hall to the right. That's for Purgatory. This is for flights to heaven. Sorry. God bless you. Move along. (to StP) So what do I do? Angel ...

Angel: ahn HELL

JPII: Ahn hell needs 280k. (whispering) I got 257 and change. Where am I going to get 23k?

A: Cha know, around here whispers are heard.

JPII: ****

A: I thing I know who can help you. C'mere. Talk to ... c'mere over here ... (whispering) Pablo Seis

StP: (mumbling rubbing his chin) Pablo sez?

A: Idiote! Not Simon Sez, Simon Peter, Pablo de seis!

StP: Oh yeah, Paul 6, what was his name? HEY MONTINI!

Paul 6: Yeah whadya want? I'm kinda busy heah. I got a .. I gotta ... whadya want?

A: Remember when you came up a little short back when ...

P6: Huh? uh hmmm

A: And the the (mumble)

P6: Ths isa whada yudoo. You geta somuda people over dere. In da Purgatory line. Da ones dat wenta kinda quick, ya know? Like a da heart attacks. Ya dat would work. Geda da fresh ones. Dey call it a miracle. We call it recycling. Dona picka da *******s. Justa da good people that went young. They can atone for their purgatory time on a da earth. We call it a house comp. LOL Then a pick a the rest to start out a new. Give a them a pep a talk. One from a da Pope always a pick up a da spirits. Ha! I make joke! Spirits!

StP: Damn Italians. So JP ... JP ... WOJTYLA!

JPII: WHAT?

StP: Go grab 23k from Gate 2 like Pablo Seis says, OK?

***********************************

I am for sure so going to hell after this.

I did not know this

JPII is now referred to as Pope Saint John Paul II or Saint John Paul the Great, per wikipedia. IDK what made him great. The other JP was only around thirty three days.

Been lurking on your blog. Good to see you're still around. Hope your wife is managing. And you too. Let us know what's going on.

Like the observations about American Life. I'm an oldster like you and remember the America of youth, before the war - Viet Nam that is.

Body cameras on cops. If cops are so bad, how come almost every one of them is in favor of body cams? It's because most folks don't know how rough it is out there. And what **** they have to put up with. Sure there are bad cops. But there's bad in every profession. It's just that when a shoe clerk goes bad, some brother isn't face down in the gutter.

VBC, thanks for the well wishes. A little update: stroke is a mother****er. It can take you from being perfectly functional to being a mumbling child. My wife is no longer capable of dressing herself nor going on a toilet by herself. She can't walk nor use her right arm or hand. She was living in a facility on the other side of the city for the past six months. Thankfully I was able to get her into a much better facility closer to home a couple of weeks ago.

I'm going to write more about this whole thing in a couple of months when my life gets settled. For now I'll just say that because of her stroke she can no longer live in this tri-level house, so I'm selling. This is the hottest seller's market in years, so I'm fixing up the place and packing up my ****. It's taking me some time because I'm doing most of this stuff myself. The plan is to sell and move into an independent living apartment at the same place where my wife is. I've gotten used to living like a cave man in essentially two rooms of this house, so an apartment would suit me. Plus no more yard work or snow shoveling, I'm free FREE!

I think cops would embrace body cameras that prove lack of questionable behavior on their part and show just what kinds of **** they have to put up with. When shoe clerks will start packing because some "rights" activists get enough like minded legislators say it's necessary to carry because of this bogeyman or that wacko. So the wacko shoe clerk goes postal and shoots a bogeyman whose parents legally emigrated twenty years ago because he "looks like a terrorist." Just saying.

GOTCHA'D BY EXPERIAN

I think this deserves its own post. This is a warning to be careful about offers by supposedly reputable firms like Experian. Yeah the outfit that reports on your credit. You'd think they would have some integrity. Enough integrity to not sneak a fine print warning that the offer to see your report for a dollar is actually going to cost you $22 a month if you don't opt out within a week. How do you opt out? IDK. I called and bitched about it and they said they'll stop it going forward, but I'm stuck with two months of two accounts (mine and my wife's) for $88. I called my bank to see what can be done. It's a large national bank that has always given really good service. The CSR advises that it could take 90 days to resolve but they would try on my behalf.

Actually all they need to do is have a splash page saying that you are not just on the hook for a buck one time but $22 a month for eternity, and you either accept it or decline which should start you over again. Not a fine print warning from a supposedly reputable but underlying skanky POS.

Really, Experian, do you have to go the route of Moody's and S&P and start to cheat for your money? Credit reporting is serious business. Quit the ****ing word games and hidden gotchas and deal straight.

[derail]

BERNIE IN 2016
Or another Progressive candidate

[/derail]

I am so sorry to hear about your and your wife's struggles. Please know that I am thinking about you. GL

T2, thank you. Still pissing off the rabbit I see. I'm finally getting settled in at my new digs. Got a sucker to buy the house as an overpriced fixer-upper. Got Comcast to admit they couldn't find their ass with both hands and a ten minute head start. That's another story/rant that maybe I'll go into another time. But here's a short vignette of that struggle.

I was planning to visit my mom in Chicago after I finish selling the house. One day around the end of July my brother tells me I should make the trip immediately as mom was admitted to the hospital and she was failing fast. Luckily he called me on my cell phone. I say luckily because if he would have called me on the Comcast land line he wouldn't have gotten through to me. I told him I'll try, but I didn't have internet service since the damned fool installer put the line splitter outside of the house on the southwest corner. So during the summer from roughly 2 pm till after sundown I had spotty (at best) internet and phone service due to the equipment being too hot to function correctly. Well, being the crafty old codger that I am, I grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and some duct tape and MacGuyvered it to the splitter. In two minutes time I was able to secure a seat the next day on Southwest at the senior fare of $208. Why the installer ran the line diagonally across the back yard to the hottest spot on the premises, I'll never try to imagine. It hurts to ponder such a thing. He's probably their vice president in charge of stupid ideas now.

I really wanted to post to inform all/both you readers that I have finally closed that chapter of my life except for the bitching about it. That will come later. But first, I have a song that I need to flesh out. It's probably a country song since that's what I hear it as in my head. And I'm not really a country music fan, but that's usually how these things work with me. I stole the beginning from an Australian saying which was just an old expression that was expanded upon. You'll all/both recognize it I'm sure. It doesn't have a title because, well, it isn't a thing yet and nothing doesn't have a name. Hey wait a minute. That's the title!

Nothing Doesn't Have a Name
by Wetdog and a couple people or maybe three
(ahem)
Well I'm up **** Creek in a barbed wire canoe
With a rusty teaspoon for a paddle.
Shooting crocodiles with a crowbar (end of Aussie expression)
Got a broken beer bottle for a saddle
Now I'm on my 8th beer for the tenth time this year*
I hope the missionary's wife doesn't tattle.
Cause if she does I'm under the bus
And there's gonna be a m----- f------ battle.

I got a broken down Jeep with a bucket for a seat
Sittin' on blocks out back.
And a letter from a lawyer blowin' my cover
About a girl who I had for a snack.
(that's all I got so far if anyone cares to change it or even steal it be my guest)

*like the internal rhyme and alliteration? Kris Kristofferson is my god.

I got the inspiration from my daughter whose Jeep broke down in the mountains. She didn't have the scratch to fix it and I had just sold the house, so I fronted the bill.

I've been reading one of Baxter Black's books that has a bunch of original cowboy poetry. I had to have something to look at since Comcast has trouble making their excrement cohesive. That too probably has me in the country mood. It was either that or Caesar's Gallic War, which I have also been reading. In English. I'm not that bonkers yet to try to translate from Latin, which I last studied in 1966. So yeah, it's been pretty boring in the Dog house lately. Aside from fighting with Comcast. And the Regional Transportation District (another story for maybe later).

So as I was saying, Comcast sucks.
Still
Again
Over and over
But we all/both know that. We as in we Comcast subscribers. Two years has changed nothing.

...........................................

Imagine: one day you call preflop but your hand clumsily picks up two thirds of the bet off your stack. You go back and, try as you might to get the last third onto the felt, you can't grasp those last chips. Now try to remember why you are doing that. A minute later you are feeling fine and you move on, maybe chuckling to yourself about your klutziness.

What may have happened is a small blockage in your brain has suddenly stopped blood flow to a part of your brain causing cell death. Simply put (since this is a simple explanation of complicated processes) you have just had a TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack) or "mini stroke." Get enough of these and whoosh, you are in a wheel chair unable to figure out why you wake up in a place that is not the "home" you remember, even though you don't remember what "home" is. One thing's for sure, this place is not home. How did you get here? And where is your s/o? WTF is going on?

Welcome to the world of healthcare in 'Murricuh. That term ('Murricuh)is now obsolete. We now live in Trumpublica, under Emperor Trump. Are you wealthy? Can you pay $260 per day? Put the calculator away, that's $7800 per month.

$93,600 per year.

Minimum

Who has that much put away? Make that who of the 95 percent has that much put away? Jamie Dimon has it and probably gets a happy ending with every physical exam because he has it.

That's just to live in a facility that bathes, dresses and feeds you and makes sure that you don't wander off or otherwise get hurt. Doctors and tests and physical/occupational therapy pile on like cops on a donut.

Don't worry though. The Trumpublicans will cut off all aid to keep you alive. You will be passive-aggressive murdered by neglect, kicked to the curb. Not literally "kicked", more passively "placed" on the sidewalk. Slow death will follow within the next two weeks. So, you won't suffer long. Just a couple of weeks. Not that Trumpubica will care. But what do you do with all the rotting corpses on the sidewalk? No provision in the healthcare bill for this. That's a local issue. It'll get pretty smelly in Detroit and Chicago or anywhere in Illinois where they don't have a spare nickle as it is.

What Trumpubica needs is the same healthcare that Congress gets. What Congress deserves is what my wife faces.

All because Trump wants billionaires to suck his dick.
.................................................. .

crazy bump, eh?*

*<-- not Canadian

After the Trumpubican rep got shot I thought, "Its a good start," which I know is wrong. An MSNBC anchor brought up the question why are we as 'Murricuns are becoming so hostile? Other talking heads point at each other, Trumpubicans point at everyone else, Trump blames crooked Hillary.

Maybe it's because we feel threatened. Speak your mind at the Emperor's rally and you get the **** kicked out of you with the Emperor's blessing. Get old and it's a death sentence. If Cory Gardner (Trumpubican Colorado senator) were ever to stand before me, I will place him under citizen's arrest for attempted first degree murder of my wife if he votes for Trumpcare. I am not joking. Trumpubicans have declared war on me and mine. So I shouldn't feel threatened?

I'll lay 99-1 the "Get A Brain Morans" guy voted for Trump. I'd lay bigger odds but I'm not a Trumpublican who gets rich off fellating billionaires for favors.

Trumpatio

After the Emperor nixed the Paris deal and gave a rambling speech about jobs going overseas (without mentioning Ivanka's crap all being imported from overseas) and money going flying off willy-nilly to the third world, he (Emperor) had his EPA chief give a long speech fellating the boss (Trumpatio). Then Emperor has a meeting with the whole cabinet where they all give a short speech in turn on why they do Trumpatio on the Emperor.

This guy just wants yes men and a bimbo or two for those long nights when the senate does that stupid debating thing. Really, he thinks that he can run the country like he runs his casinos. You do know how well that's been working, right?

It has struck me as hilarious how the racist Emperor is striving to obliterate all of Obama's legacy as if trying to strike him completely from the historical record as if he never existed. What is hilarious is the Emperor's fury that THAT negro (paraphrasing - you know the real invective that he uses) got to be the P r e s i d e n t O f t h e U n i t e d S t a t e s (in all it's bigness) before he did.

He can't obliterate the fact that Obama was chosen twice to be the President before he was even picked once. Just like in gym where he was never picked. Ever.

Moving on, It appears NBC will do anything to get someone, anyone to talk about them. They have recently hired Greta Von Sucksomething to quit being a Fox cheerleader and cheer for the left on MSNBC, which she gleefully does for the paycheck. They also got Fox News fellator Megyn Kelly to stir up some **** by interviewing that conspiracy theorist who claims that Sandy Hook is a hoax (I won't use his name because it would only give him one more online reference. **** him. And you too if you believe him.) Wow I hope they top that with some s&m footage or video of a hyena vomiting. Yes!! Everyone will talk about that too.

It's really hard to compete with the ****show on Pennsylvania Avenue. And everyone carries that as the top story of the night. But to really inform the viewer, do we need to talk about hoax perpetrators with a hoax perpetrator.

There is a disturbance in the force. I feel the collective IQ of 'Murrica slowly withering.

It's been a while

Kirstjen Nielsen, whiter-than-white Secretary of Homeland Security, testified under oath that she didn't hear the dumpster fire who occupies the Peoples House say "****hole." I'm disappointed that no one asked her if she was just something to brighten the room like a pot of flowers, or is she supposed to pay attention and participate in the discussion? I'm positive it's the former.

*******************

Speaking of building walls, are they going to dig the foundation down to bedrock to keep Mexicans from tunneling under it? They do have shovels in Mexico, don't they? I'm almost* positive that they do. They dug under a prison to spring El Chapo, so how hard will it be to dig under a border wall built by the government? Wasn't Mexico supposed to pay for the wall? Did the check clear?
So many questions.

*99.4% positive. I've never been to Mexico, so I can't say with absolute certainty.

Marcus Williams, the toast of the town in Jacksonville, really blew it didn't he. No he didn't. He has been coached to tackle without using his arms. Apparently wrapping up the ball carrier and hauling him down is no longer taught. What the DBs do now is show the ball carrier their name on the back of their jersey and the ball carrier is supposed to fall down. IDK why Stefon Diggs wasn't called for a personal foul for not falling down. [/sarcasm]

I've seen a fair number of DBs do this type of "tackle", including Bradley Roby* with the Denver Broncos. I'm calling out every Defensive Coordinator and DB coach who allow any of their defensive players to tackle like that. They should all be fired as well as any head coach who doesn't fire them. How are kids supposed to learn the game if they emulate professionals acting like rank amateurs?

No, I don't blame Williams. He's coached to play like a pussy.

*He's my hometown 2014 1st round draft pick who plays behind Aqib Talib and Chris Harris Jr. I cringe when I see #29 enter the game.

The Art of the Steal

I can't believe nobody thought of this before: the dumpster fire should build his wall the same way he built every other project. Phase one is having Russian mafia buddies put up earnest money. Phase two is convince Deutsche Bank that you have it pre-sold and get a construction loan. Phase three is put the money in your pocket and declare bankruptcy.

*************

Trumpdown

The trump shutdown is over one thing, bounced checks. For months the dumpster fire and the Trumpublicans have given assurances that the DACA issue will be addressed. For months that check has bounced over and over. Is it unreasonable to assume that the check won't bounce again in February and March? I wouldn't accept the dumpster fire's word if he said he was home sapien.

Sent from my HTCD200LVW using Tapatalk