They were fake all along. Jasmine Tridevil, nee Alisha Hessler, doesn't have just one fake boob. She has three of them. That's right, it's a prosthetic. She got outed by Tampa airport cops where her travel bag was stolen. How come she wasn't wearing the tri-boob? Maybe she has a spare? The article doesn't say.

+1

Thanks Tuma. Funny, I remember from my long ago youth that the last name of the police chief of the town next to mine had the last name of Tuma. I'll leave that right there to avoid any unpleasantness.

Here's a headline from the Wall Street Journal:
September U.S. Consumer Confidence Unexpectedly Drops
Consumers Pull Back on Economic Optimism
You can't actually read the story unless you have a paid subscription to WSJ. But you can read a Reuters article in Business Insider, which is free.

The consumer (you and I, unless you are of the 5%), which accounts for 70% of GNP, is not confident in economic growth. Why? Maybe because they have no money and don't foresee that changing anytime soon. Christmas is coming and with that comes layoffs and pink slips. So we are not spending. We are paying down our debt. Watch GNP numbers in the coming months/years. It's not going to be pretty.

******************

CNBC is a business reporting network created to fellate Wall Street. But there is one reporter there, Jane Wells, who doesn't seem to fit that mold. I wrote about her briefly before. She did a piece about a Vegas business that is uniquely suited for that town. The clip is only 2:34 and is a fun watch.

CHEERLEADERS

Who doesn't love cheerleaders? I think the best ones should be immortalized.

Here's one (really NSFW) from Down Under. I now have a new reason to watch Aussie Rules.
Poker player Grant Hinkle got in a Bud Light fueled dance routine at the KC-NE game. It qualifies as a cheer because he interjected a chorus of "U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!" *

As my anti-cheerleader entry, I submit Warren Buffett, who once said, “The way to get big shots to change their behavior is to embarrass them.” So how does he embarrass the board of Coca Cola? By abstaining from voting his 400 million shares.
Pussy.


*If the link doesn't work it's because there's a naughty word in it. Damn profanity filter.

how did I double post?

stock market is imploding. trust you are short.

I like puts. Limited exposure, unlimited potential. IMUHO*

-------------------------------

I saw this kid on my cousin's FB page. I couldn't believe this kid's talent. Then I saw that he posted a song four months ago that he had written.

I can't believe that this kid is seventeen. What will he create in the next twenty years?


--------------------------------

Geese. I hate 'em. I generally love birds, but those ****ers just piss me off. There's a bazillion of them in the Denver area. They are protected as if they are someone's pet. As a result they roam around areas like they own the place, dropping their **** everywhere. Near where I worked they would just waddle across the street in slow moving flocks tying up traffic. Those dumbasses forget that they can fly. WTF if I could fly, I'd fly everywhere. But not those damn birds. Nooooooooo And when they do fly, where do they fly to? The school yard that's where. Then they chew up the grass and **** all over the yard that the kids play on. Have you ever seen goose ****? It's the size of dog ****. People get in trouble (rightly) for leaving their dog's turds in public areas. Who is supposed to clean up goose ****?



*I am not recommending this to anyone. Just my unqualified opinion.

I agree about the geese, my dog goes out in the park and eats goose poop, yuck. (Highlands Ranch, lol)

Here's the original video of Brendan, I've been following him since he did this. He was considered one of the most naturally gifted blues performers at nine, lol.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ05ak6PXRU

I'm enjoying your blog!

It's Columbus Day. The day that we Muricuns celebrate Cristoforo Colombo finding the Bahamas and enslaving the indigenous peoples, wiping out half the population of Hispanola by torture and disease. OK now I have pissed off the Italian Muricuns. I don't know why. He did all that *******ry in the name of Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain. The Eye-talyuns (Genoa, his home town, and Venice) didn't like the idea of sailing west to the Indies and China because they were flat earthers. Ferdy and Izzy (mainly she), also flat earthers, only decided to go along with his idea just in case he was right so that other monarchs couldn't capitalize on it. When he finally did set sail F&I didn't expect to ever see him again.

Oklahoma has three more condemned convicts that they want to off, but they don't have any more pharmaceuticals to do it with. I guess using a dry cleaner bag is out of the question?

Red Bull is being forced to pay $13 million for false advertising. Apparently some geniuses thought they would actually sprout wings. Not really. But claims of increased performance, concentration and reaction speed were pretty much called hooey. So what should Red Bull advertise? That it makes drunk people stay awake longer? No one could dispute that.

Recently some of the local high school kids walked out in protest of the curriculum for advanced placement US History. This is pretty disturbing:
Nice. Right wing Tea Party history is going to be pounded into the kids skulls. The Koch brothers funded majority of the school board has passed the plan in spite of objections without compromise. There's talk of a recall election.

Yikes! Want to meet Taylor Swift? If I met her she'd probably get pissed off, write a song about me and make a jillion dollars more. I don't even drink diet Coke.

Phil Simms is still an idiot

I'm a little behind on this, but it seems like I'm not the only one who can't stand Phil Simms. About a month ago a petition was started on change dot org to ban him from broadcasting Denver Bronco games. I had forgotten that his son had signed by Josh McDaniels* with the Broncos and, after having failed miserably, was released. That may have something to do with his lack of objectivity. Also, being an idiot, he doesn't have the sense to leave his personal biases at the door. The petition has over 44,000 signatures from all over the country. Glad I'm not the only one.

Bozo must go (to Washington)

Speaking of Bozos, creepy clowns are stalking Bakersfield and Wasco CA. It always cracks me up that people are scared of clowns. But in a few weeks they are going to elect 435 of them to serve as their representatives in Washington.

Are we there yet?

It's going to be very cool watching comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko (aka Cherry-Gerry) from a front row seat on the ESA's Rosetta spacecraft and its Philae lander. Don't hold your breath waiting for the big show though. It makes its closest approach to the sun in August 2015, so it'll be a while yet.


*McDaniels was sent by Belichick to gut the Broncos team of anyone with any fire. Mission accomplished.

This Ebola media frenzy had me wondering wtf is Ebola.
http://www.cdc.gov/vhf/ebola/about.html

Ebola was first discovered in 1976 near the Ebola River in what is now the Democratic Republic of the Congo. How would you like to live by that river? They could have named it something else, couldn't they? That'll kill property values. Have you ever heard of the Measles River? Nope.

But this is some serious ****. Bat **** serious. Obviously anyone who lives near those diseased bats (1st level) or eats anything that lives near those bats is susceptible to getting the disease, as are people who come in contact with them (2nd level). And people who come in contact with people who come in contact with people who might be exposed (third level). I think I might buy a bunny suit.

No wait. A real bunny suit.

No. No that.

Yeah like that.

But really, how do we protect ourselves from something like that? How do we barricade ourselves from anyone who has had a 5th level contact with anyone who lives near a Congolese fruit bat? All of you get away from me.

What are the signs and symptoms of Ebola? From the CDC:
Ugh. It's worse than the flu on steroids. I'm staying away from Dallas. And Cleveland.

They have war planes now

Reuters says Iraqi pilots are now flying for ISIS. The Islamic state has captured military bases in Iraq and Syria including airfields. NATO allies are bombing IS bases and yet supposedly IS pilots are doing training missions out of the captured al-Jarrah military airport east of Aleppo.
I get it that the generals don't want to let on that they know about this. But why haven't they bombed the **** out of al-Jarrah? How are any of the captured Migs in operable condition?

Doesn't look too hard to bomb into dust, does it? BTW all i did to find this is go to Google maps and look 20 miles east of Aleppo for an airfield. I hope the generals or someone on their staffs know how to google.

**************

Meanwhile on the Ebola front...
Senators from both sides are urging Pres Obama to issue a travel ban on visitors from some west African countries. They mention just three countries: Liberia, Guinea and Sierra Leone.

Wanna bet there's more places that these where there's infected peeps? The senators are just getting some ink that they are addressing the threat. Really there's nothing to see here.

IT'S REALLY CREEPY OUT THERE

Guys, you can't just stop calling them. You have to tell them no, and that no means no. Otherwise they just climb down your chimney. Yeah Santa can do it, but he's magical. And (send the kids out of the room; this might disturb them)

Open carry of firearms, where legal, is supposed to (they say, whoever they are) deter gun violence. This guy might tell you otherwise. He got robbed of his gun and a smoke. The perpetrator got the drop on him with the perp's own hand cannon and fled the scene in flip-flops. God bless America, there has to be an SNL skit in that.

Nigeria has declared itself Ebola-free. They did it by closing the hospitals, thereby infecting only a small clinic, and following 900 people around. IDK how that solved the problem, but if they would have traded the 900 to Boko Haram for the schoolgirls they could have solved that problem too. Watch out for those emails from the finance minister though. They could carry a virus.

The moon will eat the sun on Thursday

Yeah there will be a partial eclipse of the sun for most of North America. Per Scientific American, "People who live east of a line running from roughly Quebec City to Montauk Point, New York, will miss out on the solar show, since the sun will set before the dark disc of the moon begins to encroach upon it, so suck it.*" They also warn us to not look directly at the eclipse with binoculars or the unaided eye. There will always be some idiot who will do it anyway. Maybe Phil Simms will. I can only hope.

Well they gave him a shot

The Cowboys cut Michael Sam from their practice squad. You know who he is. It took some balls to openly come out before the draft. Nobody will ever say that being openly gay is a factor in not making a slot on a team. It makes me wonder how many closet gays were/are in the NFL. Wikipedia references an outsports dot com article that says there have been six former NFL players and names two. IDK if there will ever be an openly gay player in the No F** League. I don't think it should be a big thing if there were. Players on the 1993 Houston Oilers say there were two key players who were known to the team to be gay. They went 12-4 that year, so it didn't seem to be a distraction.


*they didn't really say suck it

bones where the blonde

I was looking in Wikipedia at bone marrow while doing research for a future post. I happened to notice in the left margin a language called "Latina" which I imagined being the dialect spoken by Sofia Vergara and Charo. I right clicked on it and got an extremely abridged version of the english page in the Latina language. Chrome offered to translate, which I clicked and got this:
Yup, that's Sofia all right.*

Billions for billionaires

JPMorgan Chase wants New York City and State to pony up over $1 billion in tax incentives so it can build a couple of high rise towers. What it amounts to is extortion. The rationale is "if I don't get it from you, I'll get it from Jersey City or Cleveland or someplace else, and I'll build it there." That should be grounds for putting Dimon and all his negotiators in jail right there. But really, why doesn't JPM just create some phony subsidiaries and issue some phony bonds to build the place and then default on the bonds? They made billions like that just a couple of years ago. No one went to jail.

*I really like Sofia Vergara. What I imagined is the Gloria character she plays on Modern Family.

Golly, I have a tough time figuring out how Toys 'R' Us thought action figures of drug dealers should be on their shelves. I know there is a market for collectors of this stuff. Some of you may even be collectors of Wookies and Chucky. It seems odd to me and a lot of others. Still, I do have the 50+ year old baseball which was signed for me by hall of famer Luis Aparicio, so I guess I may qualify as a freak too.

I can't figure out how a doll holding up a baggie of meth and a wad of cash belongs in a kids toy store.


They said it was in the 15+ section. Oh. OK. What section do they keep the live ammunition?

Where should they sell these? Comic book stores? Porn shops? What if your creepy brother in law gave one to your kid?

I enjoy your writing sir, subbed.

EXTRA! EXTRA!
Read all about it
Cherry-Gerry's farts stink

The ESA's Rosetta spacecraft has been orbiting comet Churyumov-Gerasimenko for a couple of months now. While there it's been taking cool pictures. Cherry-Gerry has been outgassing (farting) and Rosetta has been sniffing the farts, and it's pretty gross.
The smart fellers think Cherry-Gerry is a comet from the Kuiper Belt, as opposed to the much more distant Oort Cloud. Euro fart smellers (smart fellers?) are anxious to compare* Cherry-Gerry's farts with Oort Cloud comet farts. Stay tuned to this blog for those exciting details.

*This link is to a page written in German. You will need a translator, such as Google translate or you could ask the friendly NSA analyst who is no doubt looking at what you are reading.

Ever think of an idea and someone else does it and makes a mint? I was reading this and remembered that I had the idea for Grub Hub back in 1988. Well, not the internet part but the idea that you place an order with somebody not connected with a restaurant and they deliver it to you. When I thought of it I was delivering pizzas while I was laid off from a regular full time job. I thought "What if, instead of just pizza, people call me and place an order for a steak dinner from Gussie's or spaghetti from Papa Luigi's?" I didn't have the startup money for that, nor was I the salesman type to convince the restaurants that I was serious. I had already faced up to the truth that I couldn't even sell pussy in a lumber camp, much less a good idea to someone who slings hash for a living.

In the early '70s I came up with the idea of beer fizzies. I had the revelation that if you were going back packing/camping it would be a giant pain in the ass to bring a heavy case of beer, but a foil package of 24 Fizzies weighs almost nothing. I told some people about it and they all came up with the same objections: It'll probably taste like ass and how do you get the alcohol into powdered form? I hadn't even thought of the problem of microbes in stream water like Giardia lamblia that causes Giardiasis, or beaver fever. Man, that's some nasty ****. I found out a few years later that some Japanese guys tried doing it and gave up, so I guess not every cool idea is a good one. Just look at the Darwin Award winners for proof of that.

Have you ever had a really great idea that someone else ran with? Other than dating that hot nympho.

edit: I do have one that I'm still working on. I'm not giving any specifics, but it involves interest rates and mortgages. You are going to have to pay me a metric ****load of money for it.

Caution, rant ahead. I don't know where this came from.

So why do we have these two types of measurement? There's the metric system where everything is in units of ten, and the Imperial system where there are no standard units. That's just begging for anarchy. Twelve inches in a foot, sixteen ounces in a pound. 5280 feet in a mile. Twelve eggs in a dozen. Thirteen donuts in a dozen. I'm old, but I can't see how we in America have put up with this for so long. At least we drive on the right side of the road. I blame the Republicans. They don't like to change anything.

yardstick lobbyists, imo

Yeah, that's another one, yards. Three feet, thirty-six inches, 1/1760th of a mile, 1/220th of a furlong. That's another one, furlong. Don't get me started on that. Or fathoms either. 1 fathom = 6 feet = 2 yards. Leagues too for that matter. Do you know what a league is, besides a stupid English word with a French (bastards!) ending? Three miles. Jules Verne must have been insane with the Imperial system when he wrote "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." That would be 52,000 miles in space on the other side of the world.

OMG! OMG! OMG! Look at what she said! (warning: some politard to follow)

Politicians say things sometimes that don't quite come out right. Ronald Reagan said companies don't pay taxes. What he meant (and he said this immediately afterward) is that they only collect the tax from their customer and pass it on to Uncle Sam. It was part of the rationale for the "trickle down" nonsense. Mitt Romney said corporations are people. What he meant was they are owned by people. Now Hillary Clinton said businesses don’t create jobs. Taken out of context it sounds like nonsense. The article in Politico doesn't help much either.

I'm not a Hillary apologist, nor am I a supporter of hers for 2016. What she is really trying to say is that jobs are created by consumer demand 970% on GNP) for goods and services, and that low wages are not conducive to creating the demand that drives job creation. So why didn't she just say that? Now we have to listen to conservative half truths of taking this out of context for the next two years.

Crap. [/politard]

That's supposed to be 70% of GDP. I saw the typo too late to edit. ****!

I don't understand what this is supposed to mean

Seattle Seahawk teammates of Russell Wilson have criticized that he isn't "black enough." I guess, from what I have read, well-spoken blacks are seen by some other blacks as not completely black. I don't get this. What is the purpose? Is it to perpetuate an us-against-them agenda? I thought that sports is a unifying factor between people. Is it really just a brotherhood of the paycheck? What of relationships in the military between soldiers? I know that there will always be racists everywhere, but when your livelihood or life is on the line, you need to trust explicitly that the team member has your mutual interests in mind in everything.

She must be a space alien

Sarah Palin, the Tea Party job security for Tina Fey, told Stuart Varney, Fox News Wall Street fellator, that critics make her want to run for office again. If aliens from some planet wanted to seed Earth with their insane castoffs, Alaska would be a good spot to dump them.
To paraphrase: If you don't want me, I'll only be back all the more. Kind of like the crazy chick who will climb down your chimney.

Wanna watch a star explode?

Speaking of outer space, astronomers actually have a bunch of pictures of a star going nova. They could probably do a time lapse set of pics and make a quick film if they wanted to. What's really cool about this star is that it can do this again in a few million years or so. I can't wait.