Getting my daily ration of pissed off
Being the old curmudgeon that I am, I was looking in on Gawker reading about the
Waltons. In the comments section a commenter likened the economy to the human body where money is the blood that keeps it alive. I thought, "what if the body was run like a corporation?" Imagine this conversation in the body's boardroom:
Brain (CEO & Chairman of the Board): Bone Marrow, we need more blood. I need you to make more blood.
Bone Marrow (Sales): It's not my fault! Stomach is using blood but not sending me enough nutrients.
Brain: Stomach, you get no more blood until you send nutrients.
Stomach (Manufacturing): It's not my fault! Mouth isn't sending me food.
Mouth (Receiving): It's not my fault! Hands aren't delivering food to me.
Hands: Arms aren't moving me to pick up the food to deliver to Mouth.
Arms: There's no food here. Legs need to move us to the food.
Legs: I have just enough blood to stand right here. I need more blood if I have to carry all you to where the food is. In fact since the last cutback of blood I've had to sit on our ass some days just to stay upright. By the way, Brain, didn't you give yourself a big bonus of blood after the cutback?
Brain: NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS! But yes I did. I needed it after thinking of that fantastic strategy. I was exhausted. Now get back to work all of you. I, I mean, WE need more blood.
Liver: I feel sick.