Part of a school assignment for me was to post a blog, so I figured what better place to do it than a site that I've been lurking for years?
I highly doubt anybody in their right mind would take the time to read about a low stakes grinder's trials and tribulations, but nevertheless, I'll throw the content into the interblogs and see what sorts of what-not is conjured.
So I've studied and played poker intensively for the past 2 years. I learned to play about ten years ago and played in some home games back then (I was about 15 at the time) but I wasn't really as interested in it as I am now. It was right in the middle of the poker boom back then and everybody and their grandmother was throwing a home game in their basement. I can remember having 20+ person tournaments running throughout highschool, but it was just something I did for fun every now and then. Flash forward to 2013 and I was living in Nevada and all of a sudden online poker was available. I felt obligated to try it out since I had a chance few others in the states did, and I was instantly hooked. I bought plenty of books, played as much as could, read the forums, watched youtube videos, and basically absorbed every bit of math and strategy I could in a small amount of time. I got together some home games at my work, and within a few weeks I was a regular winner at the games. I found that my biggest weakness was falling victim to tilt, and playing a c game that that grandmother that I mentioned earlier in my post could beat. I had this A game that could recall what to do in nearly every type of situation I encountered, but If something didn't go my way that could all fall apart very quickly. But I kept on playing, and playing, and playing, and loosing a 50$ deposit, and then making 300$, and then loosing it, and then making it, and so on and so forth, and I didn't actually have that much of a problem with the losses after awhile. I wasn't really trying to make a ton of money, and I couldn't take grinding out low low low stakes on a strict bankroll budget. so I just played whatever stakes I could afford, sometimes for my whole bankroll. I had a full time job and could always re-deposit and start at 10c 25c or something. but then the day came where I had to move from Nevada, and now am stuck without a good option for online poker. I still watch all the poker content I can find, read books, and lurk forums. I play on sites for btc and also on ones that may or may not be reliable.... but I still have fun doing it. but I'm starting to want more out of poker, I'm starting to think about it more and more throughout the day, and it's becoming almost all-consuming for me. I'm not saying that as a bad thing, but more as a "what does this mean? should I take it to the next level?" and maybe see what Poker could really do for me? I've just recently started exercising bankroll management, and for some reason the act of doing this made me feel the way I did way back when I first started, that C game tilty angersome feeling that made me want to smash my head against a wall when the cards don't go my way. I'm not saying like a little steamed, I mean like "I NEED TO PUNCH THINGS" is the only thing I can think about. It's only since I've set my goals higher that I get this way again. I want to build my roll, move up in stakes, and start to really supplement my income. but I guess i'm really having trouble knowing where i'm at in the poker world, as I can beat nearly all of the players at the stakes i'm playing (5c 10c right now, I know... really intense.) but can't seem to get any real winrate at any higher level than that. but I've won live tournaments with $100 buy in's and have consistently been a winner at live 1/2 games when I play them, but online.... I can't build my roll! I guess ill just keep reading, playing, lurking, and hopefully now posting, but I hope there's an end in sight. I could really use the money right now. wish me luck!
if you read that, I'm so incredibly sorry, hopefully I didn't just completely waste meaningful time in your life. but if you care to comment on It I could really use the dialogue for this assignment as well as for life. If anybody else is in a similar spot, seemingly unable to build a roll or do much more than break even, or if you've ever been in that spot before, what helped you get out of it? any insight, anecdotes, or evaluation would be greatly appreciated! thanks for taking the time to read this.
