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Old 05-03-2018, 12:35 AM   #2101
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Re: Cause and effect

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Nice. What kind of workout did you do?
15 min slow running for warm-up. Then inverse rows and push ups with varying hand positions. Then some abs work and side bends for the waist. And 30 min running because my work-out buddy needed something more to laugh after he laughed his butt off at me doing all arms stuff.

It remains that my underarms are my weakest point. They fail first in every exercise. Abs work is the easiest for me.

When I was little , like 5~6 y.o. my dad had impressive well defined abs. I wanted to have the same. Imagine a 5 y.o. girl with soft child belly. Cause and effectAnd with few breaks I did a lot for them until in my twenties. I believe that I somehow kept the muscles from this younger years. And clearly I am a lot more inclined to do something for my abs than to do arms exercises also now. I mean i prefer to do things with which i am good.

But I remain at the goal of one pull-up this yearCause and effect
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Old 05-03-2018, 10:31 AM   #2102
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Re: Cause and effect

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But I remain at the goal of one pull-up this yearCause and effect
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Old 05-03-2018, 02:42 PM   #2103
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Re: Cause and effect

Nice! Do you have a band to do assisted pull-ups? My wife was able to go from not even close to several unassisted by using one only once a week and they are very easy to travel with and use anywhere.
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Old 05-05-2018, 02:14 PM   #2104
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Re: Cause and effect

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Nice! Do you have a band to do assisted pull-ups? My wife was able to go from not even close to several unassisted by using one only once a week and they are very easy to travel with and use anywhere.
I am jelly. Grrrrrrrrrrr. All wives of 2+2 can do it. That just can't be that I am so much weaker!

I have a bunch of stuff, including bands to try it at home whenever I like it. It is also my goal at the gym, whenever I am there. But.... I don't know. If I see it positive then I can say that I made a lot of progress since new year. I can even see visible that my arms have changed. I see more definition. It is not bad for me. I mean.... It is not so that I am suddenly growing into a Hulk, but it is rather that my spaghetti arms suddenly start to look more normal. I can pull-up now 50 kg. I was never in my life before as far as this.

But if I see it negative. IT IS **** ****ING FRUSTRATING!!!! Patience is not my strong side. It goes soooooo slow. I don't think that with one time a week I would have made any progress. Somehow my body thinks that it is totally stupid and unnecessary idea to be able to pull itself up and just doesn't want to get stronger arms. And most frustrating are my underarms and grip strength. I would do more repetitions at the lower weights, but my underarms fail.
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Old 05-05-2018, 04:42 PM   #2105
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Re: Cause and effect

On sex/nosex in a marriage.

I was ranting about C to a married friend. Somehow that led to him opening-up about sex in his marriage. Apparently there is none. According to him marriage is otherwise well functioning. There is one child, a boy, and he is already out of the house.

I don't get it! I didn't tell that to this friend. I just let him talk. But I really don't get it. Why don't they get a divorce? I mean...... I understand, divorce is expensive, they are used to each other, and non-sex stuff works pretty well. But..... I don't know. Sex was for me in every of my relationships a 100 % indicator if the relationship is worth keeping or not. It is not the most important thing. There is stuff that is more important. But if sex isn't even happening for years it is such a red flag. I mean... If other stuff works so great I would do everything to make sex-part also working. And if other stuff is OK, but the only thing that really keeps it together is a habit.... I would separate as fast as I can. Life is to short to stay in such situations.

I learned with age to leave ****ty situations as fast as possible. It applies to jobs, to relationships, to parties, to concerts, to basically any interaction. It improved my life immensely. And no-sex marriage/relationship is for me a ****ty situation.
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Old 05-05-2018, 04:43 PM   #2106
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Re: Cause and effect

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Originally Posted by lapka View Post
I am jelly. Grrrrrrrrrrr. All wives of 2+2 can do it. That just can't be that I am so much weaker!

I have a bunch of stuff, including bands to try it at home whenever I like it. It is also my goal at the gym, whenever I am there. But.... I don't know. If I see it positive then I can say that I made a lot of progress since new year. I can even see visible that my arms have changed. I see more definition. It is not bad for me. I mean.... It is not so that I am suddenly growing into a Hulk, but it is rather that my spaghetti arms suddenly start to look more normal. I can pull-up now 50 kg. I was never in my life before as far as this.

But if I see it negative. IT IS **** ****ING FRUSTRATING!!!! Patience is not my strong side. It goes soooooo slow. I don't think that with one time a week I would have made any progress. Somehow my body thinks that it is totally stupid and unnecessary idea to be able to pull itself up and just doesn't want to get stronger arms. And most frustrating are my underarms and grip strength. I would do more repetitions at the lower weights, but my underarms fail.
Oh man! I grunched and thought I was giving a good tip. It’s a great goal and you can get there. What has your pull up program been?

ETA: it was inaccurate for me to say my wife did it just by practicing pull-ups once a week. We only do pull-ups once a week but she does a lot of other pulling excersises for both back and arms that certainly have contributed.
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Old 05-06-2018, 02:29 AM   #2107
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Re: Cause and effect

What a wonderful morning!

It is sunshine, and I am up and drinking my tea at 7 in the morning. And I am totally pumped-up for a great day. Once again I am so grateful that I did nothing too dumb when I was depressed. It is soo cool to be alive.

Debating with myself: swimming pool or hiking.....
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Old 05-06-2018, 04:08 PM   #2108
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Re: Cause and effect

What to do.....

No.... I basically know what to do, but I need to write it out. Have few date requests, but don't really want to go. Basically all bore me. But I know that I need to go and be myself interesting and engaging. I need to do it to not let the swamp of meeehhhh/internet suck me in.

The question is who....There are two between whom I have to decide:
Both are students. Met them in a night club. Main difference I see now is activity level and what they message. One writes a lot and what I would say "boy's" jokes. It is easier to talk with him. The second has obvious communication issues. It is on me to be funny and keep the conversation going with the him. But I have a feeling, that if I manage to make him really show his personality, he could be interesting.
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Old 05-06-2018, 06:05 PM   #2109
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Re: Cause and effect

Don't ask me why I wrote " the him " . Clearly it is just " him ". My hands were typing without my brain.



Neee. I know how " the him " was born Cause and effect
First it was " the second" . Then I deleted " second " but somehow left "the".


Puhhh at least it has an explanation.
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Old 05-06-2018, 06:17 PM   #2110
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Re: Cause and effect

#2 interesting
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Old 05-09-2018, 02:27 PM   #2111
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Re: Cause and effect

It is big holiday with a lot of celebrations in all former UdSSR today. It is end of the WW2, the day when Germany capitulated. It is a lot of controversial debates about how far the Stalin's regime contributed to the victory over fascism. But one thing is completely undeniable, namely that people in the occupied by Germans territory fought the fascism without concern for their own life or well being. It was the higher purpose to stop fascistic Germany. I am always very hesitant to use big words. But here it is appropriate to say that people fought heroically.
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Old 05-09-2018, 05:34 PM   #2112
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Re: Cause and effect

So much of what I am is hard wired in my brain.

I am on the autistic spectrum. One of its aspects is that I get pretty easy overwhelmed by sensory input. I can't stand loud noise. I get pretty fast too much in any interaction with other people. Any human interaction means for me that I have constantly pay attention, constantly be perceptive. I am rarely to never relaxed with people around me. And it was definitely too much of interaction in last weeks. On one hand it is kind of positive. I mean.... It is better when people like me and want to do stuff with me, than it would be if I would be rejected. On the other hand..... I need a break or I will become annoying instead of fun.

Good thing is that this all interaction and having zero free time
totally fulfills the purpose:
Quote:
Originally Posted by lapka View Post
Anti-fixating-on-a-wrong-dude program:

- no leisure time. I have enough projects (pull-up, a patchwork comforter, continue fixing-up my apartment, poker, decluttering, optimize job situation, yoga with Rexx,....)
- have sex. On a regular. Even if I don't necessary need/want it. It kind of distracts my mind from the wrong dude. And i have to put in at least some effort, like pretty myself-up, go out, shake my butt somewhere on a dance floor and at least pretend to be social. And it is a practical confirmation that I have options. That all are good things. Tx god for male libido.
- be social. I am behind on a bunch of my friends and on a few contacts that could become friends.
- and just did order 6 pairs of shoes. Totally therapeutic.
I don't think about wrong dude. I am salivating at the thought to have a long sleep-in (It is a holiday in Germany tomorrow) , not answering any texts/emails/phone calls and just have a complete day where I don't say a word to no one, don't explain anything, don't rant, don't entertain, don't try to be funny, don't listen .....
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Old 05-10-2018, 08:17 AM   #2113
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Re: Cause and effect

Sleep is cool.

Slept for 12 hours and feel so peaceful. Feel like I like the world and world likes me.
So.... *purrrrrrrr*

The question now is running or swimming. My joints tell me swimming but swimming pool is far away and overcrowded, so......

First thing will be a coffee. *jump jump jump*
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Old 05-11-2018, 03:09 AM   #2114
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Re: Cause and effect

Reports en mass.....

Have to write 8 small reports today. It is not complicated and not especially interesting. It is just very laborious task. Gogogogogogogogogo. Mehhhhhh. Blurg. It looks like a huge amount of boring stuff that nevertheless has to be done and preferably done well.

I will do two as first and then have a coffee and 10 min yoga. And praise myself a lot. GOOOOOOOO!
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Old 05-11-2018, 06:40 PM   #2115
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Re: Cause and effect

I just worked out who the guy is. It's Code3! It's all starting to make sense now To think OOTers saw it before me

Last edited by Rexx14; 05-11-2018 at 06:42 PM. Reason: Just messing with you
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Old 05-11-2018, 07:12 PM   #2116
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Re: Cause and effect

No comment.
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Old 05-13-2018, 03:29 AM   #2117
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Re: Cause and effect

on attractiveness;

I already posted some stuff on that. I like smart and nice and calm and introspective and able to deal with stuff without getting all worked-up. But one of the most attractive features in a guy is when he feels attracted to me, shows interest and willingness to get involved with me not only in bed. Basically if a guy shows some enthusiasm towards doing stuff with me it is huge plus. However there is a fine line. I do feel easily suffocated and I somehow like to have a life and being a person in itself and not just a part of a couple. So this huge plus turns easily into a huge minus if this fine line is crossed.

*thinking about how to lead the guys along this line without too much crossing in either direction*
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Old 05-14-2018, 03:37 AM   #2118
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Re: Cause and effect

Somehow everything is just good right now:
- right mix of cool and annoying in my job
- no stress with men
- totally on track with pull-up project. I can hold myself now for few seconds in the upper position. It is big deal for me. When I started it I was just plunging down like a bag with potatoes.
- continuing to work on my apartment
- totally winning at nano stakes plo. I play now at unibet. I believe that they have pretty soft group of players. Or it might be their no tracker rule. I am realistic enough to see that any half competent player would destroy me. But I do have fun and it is a hobby that brings in few bucks.

One thing that totally pays off is that I have decent number of hands in basically all major poker variants.
- even zero stress with my mom


Basically life is good! Thank you Universum. Please let me keep things this way.
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Old 05-14-2018, 05:27 AM   #2119
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Re: Cause and effect

Yes!! Life is good
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Old 05-14-2018, 02:35 PM   #2120
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Re: Cause and effect

Excellent! And great job recognizing and enjoying the moment.
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Old 05-15-2018, 02:30 PM   #2121
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Re: Cause and effect

My bathroom scale has a precision of 0.1 kg but if I step on it 10 times in a row the spread is 2 kg. It makes no sense, is **** annoying and makes me crazy.
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Old 05-18-2018, 12:48 AM   #2122
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Re: Cause and effect

Somehow still everything is good. I think it helps a lot that I am busy 24/7. I basically don't have empty time. Have off the work today. Plans:
- finish renovation in an area of apartment.
- swimming
- one bureaucratic appointment with city administration on distribution points of food sharing network. This points are basically a shelf and a fridge in certain areas of the city, where we (food-sharing initiative, where I participate) put-in food, that we collect from grocery stores/ local farmers. It is grey zone in Germany because of the food laws. City administration wants this distribution points gone. This appointment is a big frog.
- Some research on new job opportunities
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Old 05-18-2018, 09:41 AM   #2123
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Re: Cause and effect

I don't want to go swimming. It is too cold here. But I need to do something or I will be pissed-off at myself.
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Old 05-18-2018, 11:20 AM   #2124
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Re: Cause and effect

Had a funny work-out experience.

I do often stuff not in the gym but outside. I have a set of weights for that, a jumping rope and such bands that you can put basically on any brunch or so and try pretty comfortable pull-ups. My place of choice for such outside work-out is a nearby playground. And there was a group of children between 6 y.o. and may be 13~14 y.o today.

They saw me doing cross jumps and all run to me: "I want it too , I want it too...".... OK. Then after we did some rope jumping I went on to crunches with weight. They all immediately run to me. : "Let me do it. I can that. I want it too." And I have 5 kg weight for that. It is to heavy for 6 y.o. girl . I managed to persuade them to try it without weight. And so they run after me to every exercise I did and we ended up in a collective work-out. It was super funny. I am still laughing. This ease of approach, directness, zero socially awkward. I want it too!
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Old 05-19-2018, 02:06 AM   #2125
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Re: Cause and effect

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renovation part two.

Me and a friend of mine continued fixing my apartment yesterday.
It is still not finished. Some edges have to be worked through with silicon, everything has to be painted and all power outlets have to be set into places. Curtains rope has to be fixed.
But you can see that it is turning out nicely. The credit is due not to me but to my friend, who does know how to do such things. He did spend additional two hours just on preparation of the walls after I thought that I have them ready for wall paper. He removed every tiniest bit of the old wall paper and closed every hole with silicon.


Three stages of approximately same area:

how it looked when I moved in:


how it looked after wall preparation:


how it looks now



Super happy with final result



The cost of the whole process are under 50 euros. I mean... you can obviously say that if I count invested by me hours and my hourly at my job then cost calculation looks completely different. But the thing is that it was actually a satisfying process. If I think about it along the lines: "Is there something that would give me better feeling than this remodeling of walls? " Actually not really. If I would do something else, it would be either some kind of similar project, or internetz, or catching-up with this friend, who helped me somewhere in a bar. So the renovation was optimal investment for my time.

It is not perfect. You can see seams at few places, I should have put another coating of paint on the whole area and when I put the curtain bar on the walls I didn't use screw anchors.

But it is a TON TON TON TON better than it was. I learned a lot. Main lesson: don't try to save money on a quality of material.

The wall paper itself brought this friend who helped me. He works in the construction and they had remainders that would be tossed away. It was the cheapest from the cheap, the thinnest from the thin and sooo off-white. I suggested that we go and buy something better, but the dude got insulted and meant that it will be perfect with this that he brought with him. It was not a good idea. This cheap wall paper is much more difficult to bring on the walls because it tears the whole time. And then I had to put 4 layers of paint on it to get it really white. So next time, the best materials I can get.

Next things to do:
- kitchen (That is a biggie. Majority of the cabinets needs replacement. And I am not good in bringing things on the wall. But may be that is an opportunity to learn that. )
- floor (Right now there is a raggedy carpet. I want to have an easy to clean laminate)
- And the huge one is bathroom. This one I won't be able to do myself. So I have to renegotiate with my landlady.

Last edited by lapka; 05-19-2018 at 02:12 AM.
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