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Old 04-13-2018, 12:36 PM   #2051
Fabian
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Re: Cause and effect

Message? Are you saying I need to work out with that Slingtrainer box?!
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Old 04-13-2018, 07:23 PM   #2052
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Re: Cause and effect

Ha ha. That's exactly what crossed my mind. Also an awesome way to mess with someone's head by sending them chocolates in that box lol. Good job Lapka even if it wasn't intentional!
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Old 04-14-2018, 01:30 AM   #2053
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Re: Cause and effect

Tsssss you both!

Message is: Dream big. Dreams do become reality!
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Old 04-15-2018, 05:33 AM   #2054
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Re: Cause and effect

Run, run, run.

It is sunshine. It is so rare in Germany. All Australian, Californian, Texas and other sunshine places people can't understand how precious that is. So I am out and will try to spent as much as possible time outside.

Another thought on that, which comes from the recent intermezzo in LC of OOT. May be one reason that I am ca. 100 lbs lighter than MLYLT is that I cover on the weekends between 30 and 40 km on my feet and M plays once again poker. So basically spends whole weekend sitting on her ass.
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Old 04-15-2018, 05:49 AM   #2055
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Re: Cause and effect

Lapka,

I totally get what you're saying about sunshine. I lived in London for a period of time and it was so bleak at times that the sunny days were like gifts from heaven.
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Old 04-15-2018, 08:53 AM   #2056
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Re: Cause and effect

Sounds heavenly. We have multiple feet of snow this weekend somehow. So instead of run, run, run it is shovel, shovel, shovel. :/
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Old 04-16-2018, 09:09 AM   #2057
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Re: Cause and effect

Feel too low drive. Problem just to get-up and do anything. But what for was I depressed? So the tool is a to-do list and do the easy stuff first:
- grocery shopping
- two applications for some state funds (bureaucracy is definitely REALLY bad in Germany)
- prepare for tomorrow
- 1 hour work-out

I am going to start with working-out outside and then directly do the grocery shopping. And then I will see.....
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Old 04-16-2018, 10:43 AM   #2058
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Re: Cause and effect

Quote:
Originally Posted by lapka View Post
I am going to start with working-out
Always the best way to tackle the list!
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Old 04-16-2018, 06:17 PM   #2059
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Re: Cause and effect

Lists are definitely the way to go. I'm far more likely to get stuff done if I make a list, particularly if I am feeling low. Good job keeping on!
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Old 04-18-2018, 04:04 PM   #2060
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Re: Cause and effect

Once again on depression.
Inspired by another blog, where strats how to deal were mentioned and by few basically identical statements from different people in various places of 2+2: namely that people struggle to keep their lifes from falling apart.

I remember this feeling. I was stuck in a job I didn't like any more and had a feeling that I have to keep it. I mustn't give it up. That was huge contributor to get really depressed.
It was clearly wrong feeling. The correct solution was to give it up, even if I hadn't aligned the next one and to look for the next one very relaxed. But I didn't see it then. I want to encourage everyone to reexamine your own expectations to yourself because of the experience then. What will really happen if you let your life "fall apart"? If you let that happen that feels like "the life falling apart"? That was exactly the feeling that I had then with the job. And me holding on to this job had send me on a such downward spiral. It was seriously bad. Bad like neglecting personal hygiene and bad like really losing this job, bad like hiding myself from friends and avoiding every interaction, bad like having my apartment in a state that one of my male friends was shocked when he came once to visit and I accidentally did let him in. And from that state I want to encourage everyone to lower your standards, when you have this feeling that your life is falling apart. No one will die and nothing really bad will happen even if you don't shower for few days. It is perfectly fine to be non-communicative and avoid interaction with people. And even just dropping your job and going on social security is not the end of the world. Cut yourself some slack. You don't have to do anything.
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Old 04-21-2018, 04:06 AM   #2061
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Re: Cause and effect

I've been thinking about you and hoping you are doing a bit better. Try and remember that brighter days are often just around the corner. Keep going, you will get through it.
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Old 04-21-2018, 04:18 AM   #2062
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Re: Cause and effect

Renovation

I rent a run-down hole. I do it because it is 30 % cheaper than normal in this area and I like the area. We agreed with landlady on this 30% under condition that I will improve few things in the apartment to make it a little less run-down hole.

Here is a first thing: The wall paper in one part of living room is off and walls are in very poor condition. That should be remedied today and tomorrow. I am right now in the midst of the process of removing remainders of old wall paper and preparing the walls. A friend will come over tomorrow and we will put-up the new wall paper.

Remainders of old wall paper:




Hole in the wall:


Closed with plaster hole. It is a lot more difficult to do it right than I thought. The hole was pretty big and to fill and ensure that the surface is so that the paper can be put directly on it is difficult. I will have to go with such tool like a wider knife (I don't know how it is called not even in German) over the surface to make it really even. And noticed just now there is still a small area not filled, so another small batch of plaster to fill this area has to be mixed.


Basically: it is difficult, but it is fun, I learn a lot and monetarily is totally worth it.
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Old 04-21-2018, 10:23 AM   #2063
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Re: Cause and effect

Nice job! The tool is called a knife in English, and a wider one will help a lot. When filling holes like that it is good to take several passes, let it dry, knock down the high parts, then do it again. Taking extra time to clean out all of the little bits and pieces before you apply the next layer will be worth the effort also.

Fixing things is so satisfying.
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Old 04-23-2018, 03:50 AM   #2064
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Re: Cause and effect

Annoyed to the limit! Pissed off and should be pissed off. Clearly about men, or rather one guy.

He already had an appearance here in various posts. Probably in too many. I hope every time that he disappears out of my life completely and don't give him here a name, so that right now it is probably too difficult to understand that I am talking about same person in this various posts. So from now on he will be C.

It is all actually not his fault but completely my. It was super obvious from the first contact that he is as bad idea as bad can be. Not with hitting or any crap from that area, but that it will be an emotional disaster. Why am I still flirting with him? Something in his personality does so click with my libido. I felt already few times emotionally neglected by him and did correspondingly stomp my feet, that it won't go on like that. He postively surprised me by correcting very fast and giving me attention I wanted. He is kind of interesting to dig him deeper. Libido.


Sooo... right now .... He didn't write me a single word whole sunday. It pisses me off. I want to know what is his day about. I mean not in detail. I don't really want to know any details about his wife. Yepp, C is married. (See the point on emotional didaster. )But I mean .... something..... I want a feeling of trust and connection. It is more important than libido stuff. And it is impossible to get without actually communicating. I know I know: " which trust if he shakers with others while married". There are different, pretty good working, arrangements for living as a couple.


Sooo.....since it is completely stupid to get all worked- up in such situation, I am going to do tonight an alternative plan: going out and letting some 20 sth fk my brain out. Purely as a remedy to distract me from how I am pissed off at C.
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Old 04-23-2018, 12:19 PM   #2065
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Re: Cause and effect

renovation part two.

Me and a friend of mine continued fixing my apartment yesterday.
It is still not finished. Some edges have to be worked through with silicon, everything has to be painted and all power outlets have to be set into places. Curtains rope has to be fixed.
But you can see that it is turning out nicely. The credit is due not to me but to my friend, who does know how to do such things. He did spend additional two hours just on preparation of the walls after I thought that I have them ready for wall paper. He removed every tiniest bit of the old wall paper and closed every hole with silicon.


Three stages of approximately same area:

how it looked when I moved in:


how it looked after wall preparation:


how it looks now


close-up


connection between wallpaper stripes runs from my finger upwards
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Old 04-23-2018, 01:32 PM   #2066
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Re: Cause and effect

TR with 20 sth? That sounds like an entertaining night :P.

Wow, that looks so much better. Our house looks fine but we think it would be better repainting several walls/rooms. I am not looking forward to any of it. Painting is a huge PITA from my very limited experience. I imagine it's even worse with wall paper since I don't even know how you make sure there are no bubbles and a seamless connection.
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Old 04-23-2018, 09:27 PM   #2067
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Re: Cause and effect

I'm at quite the quandary: should I wish you more or less brains today? Hoping you enjoyed!
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Old 04-24-2018, 01:54 AM   #2068
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Re: Cause and effect

Three projects. All similar priority but I like one more than the others. I am sitting at my office already for 10 min looking at them and trying to decide where to start.

Go. Starting with one I like more. I won't be able to finish it today because it requires some longer tests, but at least I can evaluate all results I already have. 1 hour on this project and then I will switch to the next. Go!
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Old 04-24-2018, 08:01 AM   #2069
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Re: Cause and effect

Whine whine whine.... why me. Oooh woe is mine... once again I have to make a piece of candy from crap data. It is tiring, frustrating work. It is only one slide that I have to make but I feel sooooooooo sorry for myself.

FOCUS! FINISH IT IN ONE HOUR! GO HOME!
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Old 04-24-2018, 10:04 AM   #2070
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Re: Cause and effect

Finished. On the way home. Thinking about how to deal with incomplete info in human interaction. Basically how to recognize if my opposite is truthful in the moment and does it matter at all. Working hypothesis is that most of the time it shouldn't have any influence on my actions. But have to think more about it.

C said that he is right now super busy in his job. I would say that he lies with 70% probability. It is a little bit too long to explain here why I believe that. But it also completely doesn't matter. It changes zero in my plans for tonight and remainder of this week.

But why would I still prefer him to tell the truth?
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Old 04-24-2018, 11:41 AM   #2071
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Re: Cause and effect

Hey Lapka,

It strikes me that c is in some ways following the type of line that is being advised in N1’s log to him. It is impossible to say what the intent of those actions are, but if you were to imagine that he is on a forum somewhere discussing strategy to manipulate you into chasing him, how would that change the way you feel about it all?
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Old 04-24-2018, 12:55 PM   #2072
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Re: Cause and effect

C is completely different compared with N1. Really really really so 100% not even close kind of may be. I think he feels flattered that I am flirting with him and he tries to keep it alive, but differently to N1 C has a life. If I completely disappear tomorrow, he will be perfectly fine. I am basically 100% sure that he doesn't discuss with anyone how to keep me interested.

But I had very similar thought. I thought that he might have a bet on me going on with another dude. Something direction who will come further with me or so. I asked him directly. He declined. I still can't exclude it, but for now it changes nothing that the probability of such line is > 0.
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Old 04-24-2018, 02:47 PM   #2073
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Re: Cause and effect

Oh yeah, don’t get me wrong I am sure he is nothing like N1. =)

I am sure he is not getting crowd advice either, more just wondering if he is having any kind of similar questions as to how to proceed/act/react and maybe acting aloof is either confusion or maybe purposeful. Or maybe he is just aloof? Depending on the answer to that I guess the question is how would you feel/proceed in each case?

I don’t have any answers of course. It is so difficult at the stage where you have to guess.
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Old 04-24-2018, 04:21 PM   #2074
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Re: Cause and effect

Exactly that are the questions.....
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Old 04-24-2018, 05:04 PM   #2075
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Re: Cause and effect

C seems to be lying a bunch. N1 doesn't really lie a bunch. I mean, he kind of does a bit but only because he has no clue what he's doing. None of the good advice he's getting need involve lying. If C really is doing that a bunch I have no idea why you don't just make a rule for yourself not to waste time with people who lie frequently and drop him 100%.
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