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Old 02-13-2018, 11:44 AM   #1851
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Re: Cause and effect

Somehow I have a feeling, that it would be a good idea to post here some kind of picture of myself.......

Heading now to the gym, a longer post on this totally strange feeling follows.
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Old 02-13-2018, 01:33 PM   #1852
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Re: Cause and effect

One of the reasons that I like it here is that I can post exactly what goes on through my head, even if it is not so consistent, changes a lot and makes weird jumps.


One thing that is on my long term to do list , is to reread this blog from the beginning. Somehow alone the thought of that makes me cringe.
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Old 02-14-2018, 01:35 AM   #1853
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Re: Cause and effect

Looks, pictures and pull-ups.

I had pretty often here a thought that I should post some kind of picture of me here. But somehow it is very high threshold for me.

I think it is obvious that I am very insecure. I thought yesterday about " how comes ". The stakes here are basically zero. Even if everyone will hate my picture it won't change my life. I had here in my whole 2+2 history only three situations, where I was really really happy not to have anything visual of me connected to here. If I try to evaluate me objectively, I think I am pretty average. 99% of people here are normal. I mean I have seen reactions to rj or Josie, so I don't think I would get any to bad trolling. But I am still insecure. It is the same in rl.

I am completely sure that it goes on my mom. She is really never happy with the way I look. Her reasoning is that she tries to better me by criticizing. But it leaves my self worth a lot more in shambles than any disparaging comments from someone else.

And I know it is childish. And at my age I should just relax. .....

Anyway I decided, that if I manage this pull-up thing, I will put a vid of that here. It will be something visual of me and kind of a little brag. And most important, hopefully it will motivate me.

I have started and cancelled this project three times last year. It was every time the same: I get to 35 or max 40 kg and I stagnate. After 3 to 4 weeks with zero improvement I drop the whole thing.

The change I am trying to implement this time is that I try to incorporate more of this pulling movement in my daily life. I put this sling in my door and do a set of 10 pulls every time I go through the door. Hopefully it will help. Trainer at the gym means that I should have more patience. But since that is not my strong side I will try it with more heart.
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Old 02-16-2018, 12:01 AM   #1854
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Re: Cause and effect

Somehow still everything basically pretty good. i am checking whole the time, if that what I have now is "manic". But it feels super good, and somehow it is not so that I am not sleeping, rather the opposite. Fall into my bed every day at 10 pm like I am dead. Und at least till now managed not to make any too nonsense decisions. So whatever it is I take it.

Am going next week for few weeks on a business/life purpose finding trip in Kasachstan. I have revived few of my high school contacts, and somehow through the complicated network and a lot of skyping they managed to get me to a conference there. It is really funny.... you would think that with conference fees of 600 Euro they are happy to have everyone who is willing to pay it. Hell no!

Otherwise everything is pretty good.
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Old 02-16-2018, 09:26 AM   #1855
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Re: Cause and effect

Tabatas are a killer.Cause and effect

I already mentioned that I am in a girl's gym. So goals like pull-up up or something like that ate rather rare there. Correspondingly is a reaction from trainer " yeah... It is really difficult for woman..yeah you do a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but you have to be patient.." I exploded directly there. The dude is paid to be a trainer and not to be a chatty bar girl. I expect from him some kind of metric that measures how far I am and a clear plan how to improve. I told him exactly that and not very friendly. The dude got pouty at the comparison with chatty bar girl. I added some pressure. Then he finally got pissed off and started to kick my butt through tabatas for upper body. He almost made me cry. But only almost ;Cause and effect. And I feel good right now. I want more. It is definitely somehow on the masochistic level.... But coooool
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Old 02-18-2018, 03:51 AM   #1856
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Re: Cause and effect

Posting is gonna be light in the next days. But I am alive and kicking. Somehow still kind of .... I don'T know .... kind of manic? But manic only with positive side from manic. At least sleep is fantastic and managed not to make any too dumb decisions yet. It is just everything is wonderful. Even with my mom everything is good on a cool non-dramatic level.

Life please stay this way.

Last edited by lapka; 02-18-2018 at 04:09 AM. Reason: GOD! When will I finally learn to/too?
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Old Yesterday, 11:49 AM   #1857
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Re: Cause and effect

I'm not sure if it's helpful but my wife worked up to 3 pullups over a year or so doing pullups with bands and on a pullup machine where you can do less than bodyweight.

Do you have access to either? I believe being able to do the actual movement is going to make progress much faster rather than trying to do partials or hangs or other stuff.

You want to do the movement a bunch and your body will get better at recruiting muscles at the right times throughout it.

Whatever you do the most important thing is to get on some sort of real program so you know what kind of work to put in daily/weekly. You can for sure get this goal and I know my wife was super excited when she reached it. On our honeymoon, we were in Sicily and there was a pullup bar at some urban park next to the ocean. Some local guys were doing pullups. So then I went up and did something like 15 and they seemed somewhat impressed. But then my wife did 3, without any assistance and even though they didn't know English they came up and all gave her high fives and smiles. They were very impressed and I think she felt pretty badass (which it was).
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Old Yesterday, 01:09 PM   #1858
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Re: Cause and effect

^^

Tx. it is helpful. And it is sooooooo in the right moment. I am sitting and contemplating to go or not to go to a training. And clearly now I am going. The thing is that I am super impatient and have kind of low frustration tolerance, when I see no way somehow to get better. It makes me jumping in triangles, when I don't see any progress for few weeks and then from sheer frustration I drop it.

I do have access to all machinery and actually to a trainer, who I THOUGHT SHOULD SOMEHOW MAKE A PLAN. The only thing the dude did till the last time was saying things about how hard pull-ups are for women.

I probably need to compare him more to the girls, so that he actually does something useful. But I think I made enough feet stomping, that they will find at least one trainer in the team, who will actually make a plan and will from time to time kick my butt.

The thing right now is that 45 is my absolute absolute limit. I can pull-up 45 kg, but only one time, and it is really limit. But..... when I go down.... it is not so that I can make 10 pull-ups with 35. Down to 20 I can do only 4 max 5. The thing that fails first are my underarms. Grrrrrrrr........ enough bla. I am gone.

Tx. Yugo. Today's training is happening only because of your post.
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Old Yesterday, 01:16 PM   #1859
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Re: Cause and effect

Specific #s are essentially irrelevant at this point. You gotta do a bunch of reps. So if that's at 10kg or 20kg or 10lbs or 5lbs or whatever, do that. Then add reps and add weight and see progress.

And, also, 45kg seems pretty solid. I mean, that has to be the majority of what you actually weigh so it is not like you are completely out of range. You just need an actual program with gradual progress.

Anyway, glad the post was accidentally well timed!
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