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Old 01-04-2018, 02:14 PM   #1776
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Re: Cause and effect

Sometimes..... Actually pretty often..... It is a good idea to say nothing. A russian dude tries to court me. He is good looking according to today's standards.....But.... You have no idea how big of a turn-off is making mistakes in his language similar to "rediculous". I just can't imagine sleeping with him after that. This basically non-existent education kills every piece of attraction. Wouldn't he written today this messages, I wouldn't feel so strongly this "no way I am going to sleep with him".
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Old 01-04-2018, 07:39 PM   #1777
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Re: Cause and effect

Quote:
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Sometimes..... Actually pretty often..... It is a good idea to say nothing. A russian dude tries to court me. He is good looking according to today's standards.....But.... You have no idea how big of a turn-off is making mistakes in his language similar to "rediculous". I just can't imagine sleeping with him after that. This basically non-existent education kills every piece of attraction. Wouldn't he written today this messages, I wouldn't feel so strongly this "no way I am going to sleep with him".
This dude...... I really don't know how to deal with that. He has no clue, what he is doing wrong, but he did get that something went wrong for him today. I don't want to explain it to him. How could you ever explain to someone with SOOOOOOOOO incredibly different view of the world, that you don't want to go in his world. I mean..... It is kind of snobbish, what I am gonna say now..... but it is plain so..... It doesn't matter that he is good looking, actually completely outside of my league, from his looks. It doesn't matter that he is nice. It doesn't matter that he puts-in the effort to court me. My world and his world are soooooooooo different and I don't want to deal with his world. And what is killing me , is that he doesn't understand it. He has soooooo no clue, how and why I feel. And I have a feeling that I have to explain it to him and it would be kind of like trying to tell a puppy that you don't want this puppy, that it is not good enough.

I am trying to avoid that and stay at the same time fair, truthful and nice. It is difficult.
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Old 01-05-2018, 05:28 AM   #1778
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Re: Cause and effect

Quote:
Originally Posted by lapka View Post
I work work work..... I do get something for it. I am in a better situation than I would be doing nothing. But..... I often have a feeling that it is not worth it. But what is the alternative?

On the bright site - l did get a project to analyse plant efficiency at one pretty large company. It is two month project - something for me to see how I will feel about it. Then I will decide further what to do . I also have to decide if I want to keep my university position or not. It is difficult because there is a huge part that I like - my students, and a huge part that I heavy dislike- all organizational stuff.
I wanted my blog to be about this but they keep banning me. How you can post this, (the stuff I want to post) and I can't? Because this is exactly how I feel.
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Old 01-05-2018, 07:37 AM   #1779
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Re: Cause and effect

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I wanted my blog to be about this but they keep banning me. How you can post this, (the stuff I want to post) and I can't? Because this is exactly how I feel.
Hmm..... I am not sure, if you are the guy with multiple blog-attempts here and a basic idea that money would solve all his problems. Because if "yes " then it is pretty obvious, why you do get banned and I do not. Every account mods did let you have for prolonged time ended in a flip-out of some kind: you either threatened a suicide or trolled actually good threads in oot in a very unfunny, annoying and bothering way.

I never did any of that here. And I do look for alternatives. I try things out. I understand without any shadow of a doubt that money so wouldn't solve any of my problems.


I apologize if you are not this guy.
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Old 01-05-2018, 08:42 AM   #1780
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Re: Cause and effect

Money does solve all my problems. I can only speak for myself on this matter. If you find this response trolling when I am actually honest when I say that. Then its hard to talk you know!
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Old 01-05-2018, 09:34 AM   #1781
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Re: Cause and effect

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Money does solve all my problems. I can only speak for myself on this matter. If you find this response trolling when I am actually honest when I say that. Then its hard to talk you know!
No, I don't find this one trolling. But you did troll in oot few times in a very unfunny, disturbing and actually harmful for others way.

This response is also why I don't want to talk with you. What you say doesn't help neither me, no you, no anyone else in any way. It doesn't make anyone feel better, it doesn't offer a plan, what to do, it does nothing good to no one. The history of interaction with you shows also that it is impossible to say something to you that would do you or me any good.

I responded here to your post only because you seemed to generally wonder, why you keep getting banned and I don't.

The answer is that all of your longer existent accounts produced trouble for the mods/ site through some kind of a complete flip-outs.
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Old 01-05-2018, 09:40 AM   #1782
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Re: Cause and effect

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I wonder with you, if your job has any positive aspect besides money for you. Something like respect from social environment, satisfaction of solving a difficult problem...... Something other than money?
When I first started I loved my work. It was new to me at the time. It was right up my alley. I could create "things". It was interesting and challenging.

Through the years, this all changed. The industry changed from solving problems to managing projects. And, the challenging and new aspect became less challenging and old.

It was a slow progression, really. Although there wasn't really a specific day where I woke up and it all changed, I can look back now and pinpoint the time I should have gotten out.

Since I'm on the downhill slope (hopefully) it is all about the money. No other job satisfaction. I am able to look around and see the life that the money has afforded me. It is good, but I honestly don't know if it was worth it. It's just the path I took.

p.s. I'm tempted to respond to MLH here but it's your blog and I don't want to muck it up.
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Old 01-05-2018, 09:57 AM   #1783
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Re: Cause and effect

I don't want to derail your thread so this will be my last response.

Quote:
But you did troll in oot few times in a very unfunny, disturbing and actually harmful for others way.
That is your subjective opinion. I claim I wasn't disturbing or harmful. I never try to be funny because I know I'm not, my strength lies in my seriousness.

Quote:
This response is also why I don't want to talk with you. What you say doesn't help neither me, no you, no anyone else in any way. It doesn't make anyone feel better, it doesn't offer a plan, what to do, it does nothing good to no one. The history of interaction with you shows also that it is impossible to say something to you that would do you or me any good.
I agree with you. I never found talking helpful. Its just words I always much prefer action to bring change about. Words are just empty to me.


Good luck to you!
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Old 01-05-2018, 07:13 PM   #1784
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Re: Cause and effect

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Originally Posted by biggerboat View Post
When I first started I loved my work. It was new to me at the time. It was right up my alley. I could create "things". It was interesting and challenging.

Through the years, this all changed. The industry changed from solving problems to managing projects. And, the challenging and new aspect became less challenging and old.

It was a slow progression, really. Although there wasn't really a specific day where I woke up and it all changed, I can look back now and pinpoint the time I should have gotten out.

Since I'm on the downhill slope (hopefully) it is all about the money. No other job satisfaction. I am able to look around and see the life that the money has afforded me. It is good, but I honestly don't know if it was worth it. It's just the path I took.

p.s. I'm tempted to respond to MLH here but it's your blog and I don't want to muck it up.
You can write here whatever you want. Everything you posted here was either interesting or in some way helpful. I think you have a pretty good feeling for boundaries and you have never crossed any here.

Re: money and job....... I don't know.... It is never to late to change a path. Difficult thing is to know which direction. If I would have the answer, I would tell you, but I don't.....

And another remark to a point in your blog. I have a feeling that your GF is important to you. If it is so, think very carefully when you talk to her about her daughter. I know one thing for absolutely sure: If a guy would criticize me in any way, no matter how justified, he would get a really bad enemy in my mom. It doesn't matter that my mom herself is very critical of me. Any critic in my direction from the outside is a no-go if someone wants to get along with my mom.
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Old 01-06-2018, 02:01 PM   #1785
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Re: Cause and effect

I need to work-out. And I am so strapped for time.

Meeeehhhhhh. Work-out and then read-up few things. No fun for me.
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Old 01-08-2018, 03:36 AM   #1786
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Re: Cause and effect

Good things at my side gig:
Phantastic secretary. The woman is really able, fun, nice and reduces the stress through her sheer presence. She is really motivated and a pleasure to be around. I want to have more of the similar effect like her on people around me.

Free coffee and fruits. Having a huge basket with free fruits in the kitchen made me already few times eat an apple instead of a vending machine crap.

I don't have time to wallow in any negative stuff with this gig on top of my normal job.

Bad things: yet to come.

Last edited by lapka; 01-08-2018 at 04:05 AM.
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Old 01-10-2018, 05:06 PM   #1787
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Re: Cause and effect

tired, sleepless, stressed-out, mind is going places it shouldn't go.
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Old 01-10-2018, 11:41 PM   #1788
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Re: Cause and effect

Good morning Lapka, hope you are feeling better today, maybe you could channel Frank Costanza and demand the serenity you deserve!

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Old 01-11-2018, 12:11 AM   #1789
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Re: Cause and effect

Hope you got some sleep Lapka. Things are always better after a good nights sleep.
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Old 01-11-2018, 05:07 PM   #1790
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Re: Cause and effect

Tx guys.

It is funny..... This posts do make me feel better, they make me feel like someone cares.

I did sleep and in the morning the life was better. It is a little bit to much with this second gig. For the few months I can keep it up, but then I have to choose. I am doing it to see, which one I like better.
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Old 01-12-2018, 08:04 AM   #1791
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Re: Cause and effect

Spelling tip: you seem to always use "to", but sometimes you need "too". In your last post for example you want "It is a little bit too much".
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Old 01-12-2018, 12:20 PM   #1792
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Re: Cause and effect

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.mmmKay View Post
Spelling tip: you seem to always use "to", but sometimes you need "too". In your last post for example you want "It is a little bit too much".
*love*
I think I can master this one differently to english punctuation.Cause and effect

Too=excessively , as well
To= towards, part of infinitive

I can do it.
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Old 01-14-2018, 08:21 AM   #1793
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Re: Cause and effect

to-do list for today:
-work-out
-two very unnerving pieces of paperwork
-chores and do my nails.

The question is in which sequence I should do this things. I am sitting and contemplating since 30 min if I should first work-out or do one of the crap paper work things. Work-out be it because I will go outside and there is a rare case of sun shine in Germany right now.
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Old 01-15-2018, 06:29 PM   #1794
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Re: Cause and effect

Tx 2+2 and especially OOT.

I was in sooooooooo bad mood, contemplating taking hard drugs and moving through time minute by minute..... You know, like another minute I did nothing too (HA! Mkay tx! That one was first a "to") dumb and another minute....

And now I have read completely flat pun in OOT. It is flat but it made me laugh and actually did put my brain in a state different to complete and utter misery it was before.

A good friend of mine sends to me from time to time vids/pictures/jokes that are boy's humor. Normally not my case. But totally does the trick of switching my brain from something negative into more normal.
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Old 01-17-2018, 09:21 AM   #1795
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Re: Cause and effect

I think often that happiness level is inversely proportional to the person's smarts. That might be right, but i still prefer to stay smart.

I have right now to deal closely with a guy that fulfilles completely the category uneducated/ dumb. The dude is good looking, he is more or less handy and he is nice. But his world is soooooooo different to mine. He doesn't have even an idea how different my aspirations, needs, dreams are. He doesn't understand how can I not want to have a tv or car. He doesn't get what drives me to work long hours, because I am not paid for that. He doesn't get why I try to push him to learn German ( dude is Russian, living since three years here an barely speaking gernan). I don't even speak about math or physics. I speak about general life, number of books I read, things I saw and experienced, situations I dealt with. There is no big enough happiness to make me want to give up basically "me " for it.
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Old 01-17-2018, 03:40 PM   #1796
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Re: Cause and effect

difficult decisions:

If I earn cumulatively over the next three years more than 280k or if I earn cumulatively less than 100 k, then A makes sense. If I earn between 100 and 280 k then B makes sense. Weird situation.

There are a number of other factors in the decision, like how a lawyer XXX wants to deal with me, how close he is working with lawyer Dumb_FK that did a poor job in my case. What will the third lawyer say to all that. How convincing I can be to third parties. A mistake would cost me up to 50 k.

It is kind of difficult and tough and like big boys games and makes me cry every second day. And I am so unsure if I am good at this games. But I am also kind of excited. It is like this are my limits and I want to test them out. You know..... like it is definitely outside of my comfort zone, but may be I am good enough to expand my comfort zone also to such games.

But for now I need a plan only for tomorrow:
I will call the third lawyer and tell him what the layer XXX said. In this way I will check, if it is complete nonsense or if that can be done in some way. I have now to write down all questions for the third lawyer and to think about what I am gonna earn in the next three years.
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Old 01-17-2018, 11:32 PM   #1797
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Re: Cause and effect

Get-up. Work-out, even if only for 30 min. 30 min of yoga in the morning can go the long way.
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Old 01-18-2018, 12:55 AM   #1798
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Re: Cause and effect

Loooong day with a lot of crap in front of me.


Things to look forward:
- The day will be over in 12 hours
- Tonight I am at a party organized by some clients from my side gig. -> Good food. A lot of. + Tonight I will drink, because they certainly are gonna have something I either don't know or really really like.
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Old 01-18-2018, 06:44 PM   #1799
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Re: Cause and effect

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Loooong day with a lot of crap in front of me.


Things to look forward:
- The day will be over in 12 hours
- Tonight I am at a party organized by some clients from my side gig. -> Good food. A lot of. + Tonight I will drink, because they certainly are gonna have something I either don't know or really really like.
I had a great day! Absolutely unexpected.

I started with eating frogs, aka dealing with a law suit in the midst of which I am. And there was a bunch of positive things there. Totally unexpected. It totally paid-off to be super pro-active and dealing with stuff instead sticking my head in the sand like my instinct was. And I have a plan. I know what I am gonna prepare on the weekend, whom I am gonna call on monday and what I am gonna say. And I did fire the fk-up lawyer. It was very difficult for me to tell the woman directly in her face how unhappy I am with her work and that I don't want her service any more. She started to be defensive. I ignored the discussion she tried to start. And I am pretty happy about how I dealt with situation.

It continued to be good. I made a good step forward in my plant analyzing. The difficult thing in it is not efficiency analysis in itself. Difficult thing is to get necessary data. Plant management is very reluctant in giving any piece of info to me as external adviser. They fear that I am gonna write something not so positive about them. And then the art is to convince them, that I will stay purely technical, that I will give my report to them as first and only if they agree I will forward it to higher management. Today I got a solid piece of data.

And then the party came. Food was good:

Appetizers plate:

Salmon carpaccio, beef carpaccio, octopus salad, chicken breast salad, grilled aubergines and bell pepper.

Main dish:


Tilapia prepared in the clam broth wrapped in parchment paper and some various veg.


Dessert they did fk-up. They had Tiramisu, creme brulee and panna cotta. I wanted tiramisu, but they prepared it without alcohol. I mean the biscuits for tiramisu must be soaked in coffee liquor and not just in coffee. So basically no dessert for me. But coffee afterwards was good and I drank a glass of wine with food. It was OK. Not really really really good, but OK.

But the best thing was not food, but that I had a nice chat with few colleagues. The majority were guys and somehow I had a total luck tonight to talk only to completely normal and sensible dudes.

Very good day. A lot of stuff did pay-off but also a lot of luck today for me.

Dear Universum, please let me have tomorrow a similar day. I promise to do my part. Please give me luck where just my part is not enough.
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Old 01-19-2018, 03:00 PM   #1800
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Re: Cause and effect

That food looks so yum Lapka! It's great that you wound up having a nice day, when it didn't seem like it was going out that way - it's nice when that happens
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