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Old 09-25-2015, 04:57 AM   #276
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Re: Cause and effect

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Differently to the majority of very intelligent folks here, I don't find the Tbab thread entertaining. What does that say about me?
Intelligent people often get together to discuss things that are of no particular interest to others. I think, if you are not interested, it just means that you have no particular itch to scratch in this department.

Just chewing the fat with each other.
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Old 09-25-2015, 09:23 AM   #277
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Re: Cause and effect

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Differently to the majority of very intelligent folks here, I don't find the Tbab thread entertaining. What does that say about me?
I have to laugh sometimes at how things connect for me at times. This reminds me of what I was telling jmakin the other day about Hotness.

Hotness is not a character trait. No indicator of integrity or character.

Well, intelligence isn't a character trait, either. Sometimes intelligence covers up a great deal of cruelty and entitlement. Perhaps you've seen a bit of this and it makes you uncomfortable.
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Old 09-26-2015, 04:22 PM   #278
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Re: Cause and effect

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It means you're a penetrate
^^ I totally am
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Old 09-26-2015, 05:06 PM   #279
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Re: Cause and effect

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I have to laugh sometimes at how things connect for me at times. This reminds me of what I was telling jmakin the other day about Hotness.

Hotness is not a character trait. No indicator of integrity or character.

Well, intelligence isn't a character trait, either. Sometimes intelligence covers up a great deal of cruelty and entitlement. Perhaps you've seen a bit of this and it makes you uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable- definitely yes. Things that many guys there do find funny, I find somewhere between childish, cruel, harmful. I just don't find dick jokes funny. And trying to make Tbab bet on anything is ..... like tempting an alcoholic with a drink and afterwards laughing when he gets completely pissed. I don't like the whole atmosphere of this thread. The only thing I remember that I did find good in the thread has been as Larry tried to help Tbab with his resume. And at the same time I know that so many people like it. Guess that Mmkay is right. I can live with that.

And you are so right with the intelligence is no indicator of integrity or charakter. I tend to forget that.
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Old 09-26-2015, 06:35 PM   #280
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Re: Cause and effect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9pi...9spPfP-IaD-14s

Funny games 2007; M. Haneke
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Old 09-29-2015, 05:17 AM   #281
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Re: Cause and effect

One thing, what I wrote already. I am so grateful for not being depressed anymore. It is such a difference in how I perceive the world. Today I slept well, now drinking my coffee, sun is shining and everything around me just contributes to me feeling good. I am really grateful for this feeling.

In other news....
I went yesterday on a mushroom foray. The yield is 11 kg of porcini mushrooms (not sure that that is right, but that is how google translator had translated Steinpilze). Anyway that are this


Most of them went immediately to the family and friends. I made a fry with potatoes, this mushrooms and onions as dinner. And I dry the remaining to conserve them for later. Here is the picture of them sliced for dryiing. Sry for the quality of picture. I didn't have the camera with me on the foray and in the evening it was to late for decent light.


Liked it. Gives me good feeling. And ..! It is totally worth my time also in money. 1 Kg of this mushrooms costs currently 60 Euro in shop.
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Old 09-30-2015, 09:00 PM   #282
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Re: Cause and effect

I love these stories! Such peacefulness. And so healthy. That's quite a haul of mushrooms. Were you the only one who knew where they were?
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Old 10-01-2015, 12:37 PM   #283
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Re: Cause and effect

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I love these stories! Such peacefulness. And so healthy. That's quite a haul of mushrooms. Were you the only one who knew where they were?
You know how it is with such places. Treasured family secret. Another day I went to a different area - completely different picture. Only about 1 kg of mushrooms in the same time.

And peaceful is exactly how I feel when I am doing such things. I like such things, I like crafting, I even like ironing. This feeling when a wrinkled surface becomes even and smooth - totally meditative.

That leads me to the things I don't like, but that are a part of my job. I don't like negotiating, I don't like any kind of conflicts, I basically don't like to deal with people. I love the technical part of my job, the actual job. I like calculating things, I like problem solving, as a part of that I even like communicating, when it contributes directly to the solution. That makes me calm. Negotiating on the opposite is completely exhausting.

Just had a phone conversation to negotiate some details of my probable new job. And I just felt during the conversation how my nerves have been running high, how it all has been just to much with the result, that I have dealt ok with negotiation part, but I feel now like I have been wrung out. That is so different to the feelings after gathering mushrooms.

I know how that comes. I am definitely somewhere on the more autistic side. And dealing with people is just stressful. Have to think more about how I can transform my life, so that there is less of stressful things and more calming. Or to find tricks to keep my nerves down during such conversations.
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Old 10-01-2015, 09:02 PM   #284
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Re: Cause and effect

I know this feeling. I enjoy troubleshooting. Being able to bring my entire focus to a problem. There is something so satisfying about working through and anticipating issues in order to make something work properly. Working with other people? Nah, not so much. I become too impatient with people, and that usually gets me in trouble.

It's definitely a good thing to be in touch with those things that have a calming effect. Nothing calms me like the ocean. If I could, I would move close and walk in the sand every day. So much to see.
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Old 10-02-2015, 04:51 PM   #285
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Re: Cause and effect

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGYJ0ACnp7s

I never have seen a single Oprah show, but I know who she is. Stumbled accidentally on that. Was surprised how similar her experience in a job world, especially at the beginning, is to mine, despite different time, different country and different industry. Being the only woman between a bunch of older males, being paid less than a male colleagues for the same job, not being able to get through to my boss that that is unfair and going away because it was just completely impossible to get validation I needed from my boss - are all things that happened in my previous job. I think that it is crazy that in last thirty years not much has changed, that women still have this problem, - and that not in a third world country, - being paid less than men for the same job.

May be I will go into politic. From my PoV there are some topics/areas in legislation in Germany that could use some improvement: procreational laws and gender equality in a professional environment laws.

Last edited by lapka; 10-02-2015 at 04:59 PM.
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Old 10-03-2015, 12:36 AM   #286
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Re: Cause and effect

Your positivity is refreshing, and quite at odds with the wonky direction the remainder of the boards seem to be taking.
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Old 10-03-2015, 07:48 PM   #287
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Re: Cause and effect

I should really go to bed instead of being stuck in the internet. I have found some Sherlock Holmes series that I like and now have some difficulties to tear myself away from the screen. But now!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMiedeVLxqk

Good night, internet.
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Old 10-05-2015, 03:43 PM   #288
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Re: Cause and effect

Pulled a very unpleasant letter out of my mail today. Don't want to write details yet. Only that it makes me completely crazy. I am going up the walls, and I can't do now immediately nothing. It is 10 pm here and i can't call the sender now to clarify things. I can do nothing.

Last edited by lapka; 10-05-2015 at 03:54 PM.
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Old 10-05-2015, 06:28 PM   #289
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Re: Cause and effect

Thinking about what is more f-kd up: letting your children be hungry or feed them, cloth them, satisfy every material need but constantly criticize them. What is worse being hungry or being constantly put down?

I am visiting my parents. Tonight before going to bed I hugged my mom and said that I love her. The response was: " no you don't. If you would love me you wouldn't have this cold blister on your lip, you would have longer hair, you would wear longer t-shirts and I would be a grandma by now" And it was told not in joking manner but full of pain.

I love my mom. I really do. And I know that she loves me and would sell her soul without any hesitation if it would help me in life just a little bit. How can I avoid such scenes? What is a healthy reaction?

I mean if ANYONE else tried that with me, it would be last time that I say the words " I love you" to them.
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Old 10-05-2015, 07:05 PM   #290
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Re: Cause and effect

Holy****, lapka. Her pain is not coming from you. There must be something more happening here. I have no idea what, but Jesus. T-shirts and cold sores?

I can see a parent saying if you loved me you'd quit doing drugs, or stop selling your body, but a haircut and a t-shirt? She equates these things with love? WTH? I don't even really know how to respond. Has she been ill?
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Old 10-05-2015, 07:48 PM   #291
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Re: Cause and effect

just how short is your hair and t-shirts?
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Old 10-06-2015, 12:26 AM   #292
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Re: Cause and effect

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just how short is your hair and t-shirts?
^^ Both is middle length. The thing is that my mom was raised in a very different society. She has different standards, considering female beauty and wants me to fulfill them.
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Old 10-06-2015, 03:16 AM   #293
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Re: Cause and effect

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Pulled a very unpleasant letter out of my mail today. Don't want to write details yet. Only that it makes me completely crazy. I am going up the walls, and I can't do now immediately nothing. It is 10 pm here and i can't call the sender now to clarify things. I can do nothing.
Everything is less bad than it looked like.

I got a letter from a public transportation company, that they are gonna to sue me because I violated they terms of transportation. Terms of transportation state that you have to have a ticket if you enter the train. In Germany it is possible to enter the train without ticket. I have a monthly ticket for a complete month, which I did forget one time and with my luck was controlled just this time. If you forget your ticket, then you have to pay big penalty and they can sue you on top of that penalty.

I spoke today with my lawyer. He only laughed and said that I should completely relax and 1. They would never do that 2. If they do, they have no chance, because they would have to proof that I got on the train intentionally without a ticket and that is definitely not the case.

Such **** costs one so much nerves.
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Old 10-06-2015, 03:37 AM   #294
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Re: Cause and effect

Hello Lapka,

what was your Phd about?
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Old 10-06-2015, 03:48 AM   #295
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Re: Cause and effect

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Hello Lapka,

what was your Phd about?
electronic structure of metals and semiconductors, spintronics, density functional theory.

I don't want to write the exact title, because then you immediately know who I am. Not that I am terribly afraid of that and probably, who is really curious can find it out also now. But I am not really ready for that yet. I feel more comfortable in an illusion of anonymity.
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Old 10-06-2015, 03:54 AM   #296
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Re: Cause and effect

meh if you go into theoretical physics you should go for high energy physics imo
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Old 10-06-2015, 04:09 AM   #297
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Re: Cause and effect

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meh if you go into theoretical physics you should go for high energy physics imo
When I started to study, I was drawn this direction. After two semesters of particle physics, I decided against it. Probably big role played that the prof reading the lecture was high end scientist, but an absolutely terrible teacher. Alone the extremely monotone tone of his voice made everyone just sleepy.
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Old 10-06-2015, 07:16 AM   #298
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Re: Cause and effect

Now somehow that this came-up, I am also thinking about it. Having good education is cool.

But the cool thing is not a scientific value of a PhD, because honestly it doesn't have much and it is not that I make a ton of money, because I don't. There are a lot of guys without education who make a lot more.

It is rather certain approach to work, certain level of being able to work through the frustration, to deal with problems in a project basically on your own and to finish a project despite the immense frustration and problems. It is certain way to think. It is ability to learn very fast new things, to make good presentations, to write texts, to write applications for grants so that you really get them. Ability to make people do things you want from them, even if you are actually not in the power position.

I remember at the end I had to get a written evaluation report from my prof on my work. It was important because without it everything just would not count. And prof was busy guy with 20 people like me and students and lectures and actual research work. So clearly I was pretty low on his priority list. And every time I tried to remind him very politely about my evaluation, he was very remorseful and very " yes, yes, yes I am so sorry. By the end of the week you have it. I promise." . After that game was repeated 3 or 4 times, I couldn't take it any more. I went into offensive and asked him what we gonna do, if he again does not deliver. He was completely perplexed, laughed and at the end of that week I got this report. This ability to make people deliver, it costs a lot energy, it doesn't make me friends, but it works. And I learned it in my education. Without it I would have dropped out.
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Old 10-06-2015, 08:51 AM   #299
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Re: Cause and effect

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electronic structure of metals and semiconductors, spintronics, density functional theory.

I don't want to write the exact title, because then you immediately know who I am. Not that I am terribly afraid of that and probably, who is really curious can find it out also now. But I am not really ready for that yet. I feel more comfortable in an illusion of anonymity.

Are you Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang?
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Old 10-07-2015, 06:29 AM   #300
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Re: Cause and effect

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Are you Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang?
^^ some traits are certain there. I like that series.
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