Quote:
Originally Posted by esspoker
The Why
Why do I want a million dollars? I don't really know
Weaknesses
I have always been too hard on myself and became my own worst enemy. I need to overcome this and learn to let myself off the hook and accept failure as the natural path to success.
These are the two things that glaring stand out to me. You are setting a goal (realistic or not) for yourself that you clearly aren't on board with. If you are going to focus 5 years of your life trying to achieve something, you should at the very least be able to say why it's important to you. Why you are focusing your time and attention on it. Why it motivates you.
The most successful people I know have passions and they follow those passions. What are some of yours and how can you capitalize on them? If you want to work in a restaurant, don't be a line cook, be a chef. If you want to work in finance, don't settle for an entry level job. Make it your goal to move up the ranks. Learn your craft/passion and make it your goal to absorb as much as possible and be the best at it that you can. The money will follow...eventually. It's not easy. If it were, every broke dick out there would a millionaire.
I feel like every one of your posts so far is dedicated to second part I highlighted. You need to get past all of the self loathing and focus on the future, not the past. You've identified the problem, now you need to figure out how to resolve it. I have no idea what that answer since I think it depends on the individual and how they can achieve that.
Here's my unsolicited advise for you:
-Set a non-monetary based goal. Get a job in a field that interests you. Like the old adage, "Do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life." Of course that's rainbows in the sky feel good BS but, if nothing else, it can be used as a good foundation for figuring out what you want to do. You say you aren't good at sales. Why go into that? You have to know it's a dead end street. That won't result in the "never work a day in your life" portion. But again, if you get into something you're passionate about, it will feel much less like work.
-Set this very simple in principle 5 year goal. "Be happy" What does that mean? Who knows...it's different for everyone but it doesn't sound like you are currently there. I was asked many years ago by a friend, "What's your biggest fear?" and I simply said, "Not being happy". It had nothing to do with money or material things or career or anything specific. I was a general piece of mind type of response. I don't necessarily have a list of things that I need to do in order to be happy but I know the type of things that do not bring me happiness so I try to avoid them and/or exclude them from my life. Cut out the BS in your life and focus on making YOU better.
I feel as though I've been in your shoes before and I know there is a beautiful world out there...you just need to discover it. Let the past go and focus on the present.