My training consisted of adding the stair machine to my workout schedule, so I fit that in with the weightlifting and martial arts that I already did. When people talk about climbing Kilo they really mean hiking, because there is nothing technical in the ascent. I had done some technical training with students in Colorado (both ice and wall) and I knew that nothing like that would be required.

When I received my diplomatic visa, I was off to Nairobi. A young government official met me at the airport and after going to the hotel, we set off to see a few schools. I knew these would be easy visitations, because every country I visit always shows me their very institutions. I knew that I would get a tour of wealthy children in uniforms, speaking in upper set British English, everyone of whom will be performing admirably. I looked at the lesson plans, went over their performance objectives and enjoyed talking with the kids, something I'd done a hundred times before. I would visit a few more when I came back from the Serengeti and I knew that I would need to follow up with a few reports, but that could wait until I returned to Oxford.

My mind was certainly more on the mountain, because I was leaving the next day. The problem was that my life never works out easy and I made an unintentional error, one that would cause me to nearly die on the climb. It started out innocent enough, I just wanted a burger.

No one was eating beef in England at the time, because of mad cow disease. Cows were stumbling around and then falling over dead on farms around the country. They said it could stay in your system for years before it took over your brain, so anyone who ordered beef was looked at suspiciously in pubs all over the town where I lived. I hadn't had a burger since I'd moved to the UK, so I thought that I would go to the Stanley Hotel and eat a cheeseburger.

I was meeting my guides at the hotel, so I got there early and ordered the meal. It tasted great and I really felt ready for my adventure. We traveled to Tanzania under armed guard, because the army was fighting radical groups in the county at the time. Several armed men tried to stop our van before we left Kenya, but the driver just raced past them.

My diplomatic passport caused some confusion at the border into Tanzania, because I was traveling as a regular tourist in a van, rather than in a fancy limo. Class and wealth are treated very differently in other parts of the world (Americans are considered super rich to the average African.), so my status was unclear to them. I considered myself a regular tourist and my guides thought the same.

Kilimanjaro is awesome to see in the distance, because it starts so low in elevation. We began walking up the trail in what looked like rain forest and we were lucky, because it was clear and sunny (!) and we could see the mountain at times through the trees. After walking for about two hours the world changed. What should have been a fairly easy hike, became another one of my life's great challenges, both mentally and physically. That darned cheeseburger was about to exact a very serious toll.

In what way are you treated differently in Kenya/Tanzania? Super deferentially? Jealousy/suspicion? Expecting bribes? How do you think being in a limo would have affected things? More danger or bribes or would people be more obsequious?

Kenya was much more British in attitude, so I wore black slacks, white shirt and tie. I had a driver, so people would assume I was someone important. The poverty was unbelievable in parts of Nairobi and when I tried to walk down the street alone, people would actually try to reach in my pockets. I had to get very physical several times, pushing people down, but they would just smile at me and start again. I gave up on that and had an armed guard for the rest of the trip. (and limos in Africa are just any dark colored Mercedes, lol.)

I think the difficulty in Tanzania was that I was with three other people (all Australians) and I was the only one on a diplomatic passport. The border crossing was just a little place on a dirt road and I was probably the first person they had ever dealt with that carried a strange American diplomatic passport that had a visa that was issued from the UK. (My important stamps were all British).

The guards handled everything, but I think it may have had something to do with bribes, an issue that we faced at every entrance to every park, road crossing and major village. I don't really blame them, the poverty was unbelievable.

My fancy passport, coupled with my wearing of standard hiking clothes probably made them feel that I was some sort of spy, lol. I've always told people that the danger was probably minimized to us to keep the tourist trade going, because there were several times that I felt our guards were on our side only because we could offer them more money.

There is no way I would consider traveling the way I did then at this age, but the truth is, i doubt I could have done much about a real serious problem even back then.

Roma/Gypsy kids did that reaching right into my pockets thing in Rome. I kept everything in a small backpack that was very tightly closed and when they came I held it over my head when necessary. I was hanging out with an American I had just met (a Texan) and he kept threatening to hit the kids.

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Are the bribes to get into parks more or less than the fees we have to pay in the US.? (like Yosemite is $20/car) (maybe you don't know, sounds like the armed guard fee included bribes)

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It started off slow at first, when my intestines felt a little funny. I went off in the bushes a couple of times, but I had no problem keeping up with the group. There were five climbers, a guide and three porters. The porters were the real heroes of the climb, because they were seventeen years old and carried our loaded knapsacks on their heads as they walked up the trails with us.

Every few hours they traded off, but two of them were carrying two huge backpacks at all times on top their heads. I was in spectacular shape, but I don't think that I could do what they did and they seemed happy the whole time. Those young men were truly tough.

We kept walking higher and higher as the vegetation changed continually. By the time we reached the first huts where we would sleep overnight, the landscape started to look similar to places I've been in the mountains of Colorado. They were called the Horombo huts and they were located at just over twelve thousand feet.

The biggest problem that people have climbing Kilo is acclimatizing to the altitude. Even though I had been living in the UK for months at almost sea level, I hoped that my being from Colorado would allow me to proceed without the problems that some climbers face. At twelve thousand feet, I felt completely comfortable, so I thought the trip up the rest of the mountain should go well.

We ate a good meal that the the guide cooked over an open fire and we all went to bed in the little communal shed. It was sometime during the night that I knew that I needed to get to the latrines quickly. When I got there my insides exploded. I've traveled for much of my life, so of course I've had intestinal problems before. But, this time was unlike anything I've ever experienced. When I walked out and looked down the mountain in the darkness, I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to do.

I was stuck on a mountain in the middle of Africa, far from any medical facilities and feeling very alone. I was confident of my training, but this wasn't overcoming exercise pain, this was attempting to make it through something I'd never gone through before. Africa at night is very powerful and strange, I could almost hear the wind calling out to me, but I have no idea what was being said.

I went back to the hut and took several Imodium pills that I'd brought from England, but I was sure they were never designed for anything like what I had. I lay there awake, thinking about what I should do, but I didn't really see what options I had. I got up a couple more times in the night and finally made it through to morning. After my body had cleared itself I didn't really feel bad, so I thought that I would try to continue the climb.

The bribes that we had to pay were exactly like fees to get into a park in the US, except we had already paid for everything in advance with the agency, lol. It was a big deal each time. The money was never a large amount, they just sort of nickle and dime you all the time.

Africa is hauntingly beautiful, even in the best of times. When I knew that I had no choice but to keep climbing, it took on an other worldly air, like something in a dream. I suppose that dying on the side of Kili would have been fine, I've always wanted a larger than life death, something that would leave people talking.

I don't have any desire to suffer, I just want to go out in a way that would mean that I had been here in the first place. (I couldn't fit in the bungee cord jump over Victoria Falls, now that would have been something!) As we waited around at that lower camp, I knew that continuing up the mountain sick, might not be the best idea I ever had. But, I have an intense stubbornness to my personality that almost forces me to go on, regardless of the difficulty or danger.

The key to the hike is to make sure your body gets used to the altitude before you start the next part of the climb. I tried eating a small amount while we were waiting at the huts, but each time was worse than the time before. I finally realized that if I was going to go through with it, I would have to do it without food.

Because of the desert trip many years before, I knew the lack of food would not be a problem for the next several days. What I hadn't accounted for was how much harder it was to climb straight up a mountain than it was to walk on flat ground. I still felt that as long as I had water, I would be able to continue. We stayed at the huts for a day, and even though it wasn't crowded at that time of year, hikers were coming down from the top and greeting us. It scared me a little that some of them had not seen the view when they were up there, because a fog had rolled in during the day. I felt that if I made it to the top, I wanted to see the whole of Africa below me.

These fellow hikers were kind enough to share their various medications with me, but the only thing that worked was simply not eating. I still have a distinct memory of how good that meat and potatoes dish that the guides prepared smelled, it sticks in my nose even to his day.

We began hiking early the next morning, with the guides constantly telling us to slow down. I think that I felt that I was in a race between getting to the top and starving, so I hiked faster than they would prefer. And after awhile, although I felt hungry, I realized that my adventure specific training was going to pay off and that I could actually make it to the top.

The views when it wasn't overcast, were remarkable. We had walked from the rain forest into tundra-like valleys. We had seen waterfalls and odd rock formations, all the while talking about our travels. One of the Australians was a woman doctor, working in Africa on the health crisis. I thought that she was very brave, because she had diabetes and was climbing while trying to keep her insulin levels in check.

Your last few postings went over my head like a Siamese dream. A massage of my lobes - I feel refreshed.

The walk to Mawenzi hut became harder, not so much because of the weakness from not eating as it was because of the cold. As long as I kept walking I felt fine, but once I stopped, I began feeling very frigid. I had full Colorado cold gear, but that would be too warm to wear while I was climbing.

When we reached the hut it was overcast and there was another group of climbers coming down. One of them was a French adventurer who was attempting to climb every mountain on earth over sixteen thousand feet and he gave me some pills that he said had worked for him before. Although, I never felt what I would call fear on the mountain, I think the fact that I would swallow whatever was handed to me was a sign that I was probably more worried than I let on.

My rest that night was chilly even though I put on my thermals, but at least I didn't need to get up in the night and use the latrines. The act of not eating anything was working so far. I can't really say if any of the medicines were helping, but I was very appreciative for the other's kindness, everyone knows that medicines are scarce on the side of a mountain in Africa.

We arose early and started for Kibo hut, the final rest before the top. The walk was far less steep than the first couple of days, because it was very long and fairly flat. There are no trees or bushes, just a long quiet walk in an other worldly land. We had given up talking and we all just concentrated on the climb, the altitude was starting to become a factor.

The others were struggling with the elevation. (Not the guides, because while they switched off packs a little more regularly, they still seemed to go along pretty well.) I think my climbing in the Rockies helped me a bit here, that and I was losing weight fairly fast, so I was getting lighter as I got higher. I had climbed at this elevation many times before and I think that helped on Kili.

We were well above tree line at this time and the walk was through mostly loose rocks (called scree), which made going forward somewhat harder. I felt weak near the end of the day, but even then I felt like I could make it to the top. By the time we reached Kibo it was snowing pretty hard and I was feeling very cold even while I was still walking. I knew I had a few more things to layer on, because we had been warned about the freezing weather near the top and I put them on as soon as we were in the hut.

I had gone on a Winter camping trip with some of my students who were scouts (Knowing how much I hate cold, of course they dared me...), so the tricks that I had learned on that Colorado cold training adventure were coming in handy. I was happy that I had brought along more than the recommended clothing to wear, we certainly weren't in the rain forest anymore.

The food smelled good as they cooked the evening meal and the guides were pushing me to eat. They didn't think I could make the final ascent without eating, but I was afraid that if I did, it would be too difficult (and slow) trying to get out of five layers of clothing in fast enough time to prevent an accident, especially on the side of a snowy mountain. I decided to go to bed hungry, knowing that it was only for a few hours. The final climb starts at midnight so, if it's not foggy, you can watch the sunrise from the top.

It didn't really matter, because even though I was in full climbing clothing (thermal underwear, outer clothing, plus coat/gloves) and inside a winter sleeping bag, I just lay there and shivered all night. I've only been colder than that a few other times in my life and those felt much safer because they were much closer to civilization. (On the trip with the students we ate like horses and had hot drinks ready most of the time, so I never really suffered much. Plus, the leaders were watching us like hawks for frostbite and hypothermia.)

I was happy when it was time to start out, because I thought it would be warmer to be climbing. So in the freezing dark, we started out for Gilman's Point, the place that would be our first rest. The final walk is done at about one step per four or five seconds, which sounds very slow, but by then we were all affected by the lack of oxygen. It happened to be Easter morning (I was on a half term hol) and it looked as if the sky was going to be clear, it seemed that if we made it to the top, we would be able to see Africa in the distance below.

It's interesting how much trust you can put in a stranger. I was walking up to the top of a mountain in the dark, lost in a strange country, trudging slowly in the snow and cold and not having eaten for days. We were following two very young men who we met just a few days before, hoping that we weren't being led off the edge of a cliff. If I'd been back in the US or the UK, I doubt that I would have trusted too many people in that situation, but in Africa, I just kept climbing.

After a few hours, we made it to Gilman's Point, just over 18,000 feet elevation. We rested for awhile and the others had a quick snack. I had no intention of eating at that point, but by then the guides knew that I wasn't going to give up on the ascent, so they didn't push me. It was very cold sitting down and we began shivering very quickly. At that point I was sure I could make the summit, so I wasn't thinking of anything else.

We decided to carry on, even though our guides wanted us to acclimate for a little longer. We began the two hour climb up to Uhuru Peak, the highest point in Africa, which tops out at over 19,000 feet. Our climbing pace had slowed to about one step per seven to ten seconds, the fastest that our guide would allow us to go.

We arrived on top of Uhuru just as the sun was coming up. There were scattered clouds down below (much like looking out of an airplane window), but we could see for hundreds of miles. As the sun came up that Easter morning, it burned the rest of the clouds off and it seemed as if we could see forever. It was a very moving experience and yes, I thought that I could sense the presence of something greater around me. (I am very spiritual, but pretty much a non-believer in religion, go figure...) Because it was freezing, we didn't stay very long and we started down for the bottom.

We stopped at Kibo hut for our stuff and continued quickly for Horumbo, the place were most of my sickness had started. I was concerned that I had only trained to go up on the stair machine in England and I was afraid that I might struggle on the way down, but it was not a problem at all. At times it seemed like we were almost running, but we felt better as the air became thicker with each hour of our descent.

By the time we got to Horumbo to stay overnight, I was a feeling pretty good. I still was not going to eat on the mountain, I really didn't want to push my good luck. I knew that in one day we would be checking into a hotel overnight before we went out onto the Serengeti, so I figured that I would eat a full meal there and see what happened.

The next days journey down was easy and fast. Even when we got to the stair step like root systems that we had climbed going up, my knees felt good. (probably because I had lost eighteen pounds on the climb up, lol.) I remember eating that meal at the hotel, but i don't remember what it was. My most vivid memory of food is still the smell of the meat and potatoes that I couldn't eat on the side of that mountain, it's funny how the mind works.

I do remember laying down in the bath at the hotel and thinking how awesome that was, a luxury that rivaled anything I'd felt in a long time. That's the funny thing about suffering, it's so nice when it's over.

The Lewes story still feels like a dream to me. I don't usually do adventures twice, but I might make an exception for that one and do that again. I'm glad you are enjoying them.

After a nights rest, and not having any major intestinal problems (it seemed to be going away), we started out for the Serengeti the next day. We would be camping in tents while doing a little hiking and riding in a four wheel drive vehicle. The main idea of the hiking part was to get up close to some of the wildlife in a "natural" setting and the driving was because of the large expanse of land we needed to cover.

I worried that it might be too commercial (think "zoo like"), but we rarely saw other tourists during our trip. I have to credit the guides with leading us into what looked like the real Africa. (This has a lot to do with Africa being so large and undeveloped, I assume...). While my goal had already been met by my seeing the sun everyday (!), the goal for most tourists is to be able to say they saw the big five out in nature. (Elephants, rhinos, Cape Buffaloes, lions and leopards)

Africa is huge, with soil in places that is black and rich. Most of the Masai people that we met were small herders, watching over their flocks. They dress in red cloaks to ward off lions and carry large spears, which made me feel a little uneasy each time they came into camp, but they all seemed very nice. I bought a spear from one of them, which would lead to some excitement when I boarded a plane for home.

The only real threat that I felt during the journey (even when an elephant stepped a couple of inches from my head when I was sleeping in a tent) was the large group of orangutans that would constantly threaten to invade the camp, with the bravest running in when they could and grabbing things. The young guards would chase them back with sticks, but they wouldn't retreat very far.

We traveled into the Ngorongoro Crater, where animals have been living undisturbed (although trapped) for centuries. We saw the big five, plus herds of giraffes and what looked like several million flamingos. We had also seen massive herds of wildebeests out on the plains, so I felt like I really did see much of "animal" Africa. I was told that what we had viewed was actually a much smaller number than at other times in the season, this huge, protected park is very amazing.

The only animal that I didn't care for was the hyena, I usually figure nature takes it's own course, but those animals were extremely vicious and intimidating. All in all the trip went well, I could eat normally again and I had an interesting time. I visited a few tribal schools in Tanzania, which were very different from the Kenya private schools, so I thought that I could get an interesting comparative study out of the experience. What I hadn't planned on was returning to Kenya and finding out the civil unrest had turned uglier and the government was coming down harshly on foreigners.

No (wild) orangutans in Africa mate, chimpanzees perhaps?

Wow, I guess they were chimpanzees, lol, they were mean looking things. It's funny, because they would line up in groups of maybe thirty and holler at the camp. I don't know why they wanted the things they stole, maybe they thought it contained food. One grabbed a whole backpack, but couldn't get away before the guards ran after it and it dropped it.

I kept thinking that if they realized how many more there were of them than us, they would just come in and take what they wanted. The guards never shot at them, but I guess they would if it got dangerous. The entire trip felt funny in that respect, as if something real bad could go wrong at any minute, but it never did. Maybe they had special help hiding just over the hill in case of any real emergencies, lol.

Animals don't really operate like that. A predator will take its fill and then it will leave the prey alone. A well fed cheetah is no cause for alarm to a herd of gazelle. It's about maintaining balance. If the chimpanzees had taken whatever they'd wanted then the guards would probably stop letting them get away with the smaller things. The balance would be destroyed, just like if cheetahs kept slaughtering gazelle with abandon, the gazelles would be forced to leave the area and the cheetah loses its food source.

Only desperate animals overstep the boundaries like that. Grizzly bears are only really dangerous to humans if they think you're a threat or if they're starving and have no choice. That's what happened to Timothy Treadwell ('Grizzly Man'), one year he stayed in Alaska with the bears into the winter and an older bear who hadn't fattened up enough to hibernate killed him.


I get what you mean about things seeming like they could go real bad but not doing though. Awesome stories...

Orangutans are from Southeast Asia.

Those might have been Chimps, but the Baboon population in Africa is much larger, they have a much larger range, they are much more likely to be interacting/stealing from people and one group of 30 would be a very large group for Chimps, but not at all for Baboons. Multiple groups of 30 or more Chimps coexisting peacefully would be pretty much impossible. And baboons, though less dangerous than Chimps, can be pretty scary.







OTOH, Chimps may be more highly protected and maybe they would have shot a baboon. I'm still thinking Baboon, but here's a Chimp.



And here are Orangutans. Slow. Solitary except for mothers and children and brief mating. Cute. If one of them comes into camp, don't shoot it, invite it to dinner.

Also, Elephants are WAY WAY more dangerous than Chimps or Baboons. Baboons rarely attack people other than to grab some food and run. Most Chimp attacks are at zoos or people who keep them as pets and still serious attacks are rare. Elephants kill a few hundred people every year.

Subbed. Looks like I have some catching up to do.

Tyler based in the first couple of stories u just made it to the top of my bathroom reading list.

Take that however you want it, but I assure you it is an exclusive list.

Now I'm sure they were baboons, lol. I'm going to find the photos so I don't go crazy wondering. Of course, the photos are from film, so I'll try to scan them. There are some interesting ones of a lion that crept up on me. I couldn't decide whether to run or not, so I just backed up to the Land Rover real slowly and luckily he just looked at me like I was nuts.

I enjoyed the trip, but I've said for a few years that if I went back, I would do it from a cruise ship, I'm getting soft in my old age.

Thanks King Fish, I know I'll be enjoying yours as well. I've always enjoyed your posts in BBV. (even though I'm way too old to post there, lol.)

Micro, that's interesting about the elephants. The guides told us not to worry, that they wouldn't step on us in our sleep. We weren't so sure. We were told to beware of the hippos, but I'd heard that before. I walked around a small hill right into a couple of giraffes and I felt a visceral fear at how huge they were. They didn't bother me though. I still can't believe dumb tourists don't get into more trouble there.

I'm not saying Elephants accidentally step on people sleeping on the ground. Like hippos, they get pissed at people for one reason or another (often guarding crops in both cases) and kill them.

In Elephant society adult males spend a lot of time alone, adolescent males are often in small groups and larger groups are generally females and young. As with people, the males are far more dangerous, especially bulls in musth (which is like being in heat or Pon farr). The guides probably knew they were females and young.

I tried to make them bigger, but couldn't, lol. It took me ten minutes just to get them facing up.



They look like baboons!

Alrighty Roo, thanks for the info on animals, the only really vicious animals I meet around here are coyote packs and they are afraid of the dog. (Sometimes they want to play, but I think they are trying to trick him, lol.) Thanks also for your advice earlier on the writing, I've taken it to heart.

So I ended my journey across the Serengeti at a hotel in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. I remember how awesome it was to be awakened by the chanting of the Quran from the mosque nearby and how far from home I felt. Although after all my adventuring, I was ready to return to England and take up the "posh" life once more.

We took the Land Rover back to Kenya and stopped at one more school on the way. I was already writing the report in my head, so I wasn't too worried about completing it when I was back in London. I figured I would send a copy to the embassy, just to let them know what I had been working on, and because I planned on staying away from any controversial topics (wealth disparity/inequities), I knew it would be accepted by all governments concerned.

The crossing into Kenya went without incident and the first hint of trouble came at the airport. My flight out was to Paris and my connecting flight to London was minutes after I was scheduled to arrive, which left no time for errors. A group of very young soldiers came into the airport and began hollering at our group. Several people waiting to board had purchased newspapers and read that a coup had been attempted on the president of the country.

Not being that familiar with politics in Kenya, I just assumed the this was a common occurrence, so I wasn't very worried at first. Then, these teenage soldiers (fully armed) went onto the plane and began tearing everything apart. The pilot and copilot began yelling at them, but the soldiers ignored them and continued to look for something. Since we hadn't boarded yet, I'm not really sure what they were looking for, the only thing that I was carrying onto the plane was the spear that I'd bought on the trek, they didn't really want to check it, due to it's length I suppose.

When they were finished tearing apart the plane, they told us that we were all being arrested as spies. Most of the people who were waiting to board were older and from a Portuguese tour. Many couldn't speak English and became upset on hearing we might be heading to jail. I had purchased a small package of shelled peanuts at the airport that I was snacking on and one guard began going through them with his bayonet, asking suspiciously about what they were.

I had no idea what he meant when he kept asking and I just kept repeating that they were peanuts that I had purchased in the shop right around the corner. They told us that our checked baggage was going to be pulled off and impounded, a problem that was not as bad at that point, than if it had been at the start of the trip. All the while I was standing there with a six foot spear in my hand, a strange thing that was never even mentioned by a single soldier.

Much yelling ensued, with the pilot and the young officer in charge doing most of it. After putting half of us on a bus and then taking us off three different times, somebody important must have intervened. We were allowed to board and told to leave quickly. We were already hours late departing and most of us would have already missed our connections, but we all clapped happily when the plane got off the ground.

I disembarked in Paris with no luggage and carrying a spear around the airport for the four hours that I waited for the next flight into Heathrow. I knew I had a long ride on the train, a ferry crossing to my port and then then a late night walk home (no taxis in the village). I eventually got my luggage back with only a Walkman missing from an outside pocket. So that spear still sits in a corner of my house, with Africa a distant memory from my past.

But that trip was really just the start of the adventure, because my little report on African schools fell into the hands of several people in the US and UK governments. I was invited to take part in a study of the National Curriculum and its implementation in schools throughout Northern Ireland. So, carrying my Irish and English ancestors on my shoulders, this simple teacher went off to meet the President of the United States...