That GIF also describes my relationship with my family, OOT, my imaginary boyfriend. I thin if I was 15 write now my next blog post would be a crazy suicide note and then I would fully intend to commit suicide but at the last minute I wouldnt. Except 20's me is probably just going to drink half a bottle of zinfindel and then i would like watch Scandel(god that show is good) but instead of that im going to...program in java because im tired of working at a grocery store and I decided to sine up for sceince classes I cant evern do!!!

Thats another blog post idea. One time about 10 years ago I wrote a real suicide note and then walked out of the house at 1 am and headed towards a bridge. As I was walking there I genuinely thought I was going to kill myself, when i snuck out of the house i genuinely thought i was going to kill myself , when i wrote the note I genuinely thought I was going to kill myself but then when i got there and stood on the edge I realized I wasnt actually going to kill myself. A beuatiful thought washed over me that said no matter what you do its all(and i didnt gamble at the time so i dont remember what the word in my head would have been haha) but its all a freeroll. and so I didnt kill myself

Even though in physical terms the difference seems negligible between what i did looking at the abyss and realizing nah i could do life-ing some more and feeling like I had giant swarovski crystal balls for not killing myself at the time.........
the turth is far more darker than that its not because if me; the difference between almost killing yourself and actually going through with it is huge. deep down subcosnsiocusly i wanted to live and there was no invisible hand pushing me over that cliff.


The turht is the people who kill themselves also want to live on subcosncious level but the fire that is burning in their mind is far greater than the fire burning in my mind- they cant escape and much like the victim of a nazi shower or an inescapable fire they dont kill themselves they are killed because the weight of stress is too great. my desire to kill myself was more like the oven catching on fire and me having to dash for the door.
Hey that gives me an idea for a blog post.

imaginary boyfriends are the best

since im continually too lazy to write about it I will just say that my cousin who is in a band in richmond, took me to a show that was in a warehouseish venue and that is my first concert. It was a heavy metal type concert and extremely loud and everyone looked like they were members of the band "the casualties". the main acts were "power drive" and "mammoth grinders" as seen here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HM6AtGHBWms

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66moG90JaFk

it wasnt my type of music but it was really fun and i felt like I experienced a different culture since i went with him and his richmond friends.

Bryce, you are pair a docs

No I'm not

I was at an art gallery and took a picture of this painting by jackson pollack. .

That is my child.

Justj-that is my heart

that is a picture of a man struggling to play a Cello. possibly yo-yo ma in another timeline.

subb'd

I was at an exhibit with some Pollacks last year. I don't remember if I took any pics.

I have only seen one pollack painting

http://www.theonion.com/articles/mus...gh-to-b,36703/

nielson atkins actualy has the least interesting van gogh painting I have ever seen. I actually took a bunch of pictures there and a t a muesuem in va when i visited my cousin. So i took 12 pics and not a single one of them is of the van gogh painting because I didnt feel anything at all.

That's definately Harry Potter near the top with about 100 dementors chasing him.

I have been to the Van Gogh exhibition in Amsterdam twice, its pretty amazing. I like dark pictures and face pictures and he has lots of both. Actually his portraits are fascinating, there are sooo many of them its like glimpsing him at all these random moments of life and trying to spot what has changed or what hasnt even happened yet.

This was one of my favourite non portrait pictures.

maybe. maybe it's Arnold from Hey Arnold! using meth.

edit: move it football head!

subscribed.

also: two dalmatian puppies chillin like 12 feet away from a campfire

What happen to the other 99 puppies :shock ed:

#6

I have been told by everyoe in existence that gone girl is a really good movie so im gonna watch it tonight

I haven't seen gone girl, but I hear it's a really good movie

I have nothing to do with her being gone, fwiw

My dad just backed his car into my car and wrecked them while he was pulling out of garage this is going to set off a chain of events that will make it difficult for me to post- borrowing a ride to get to work having my car repaired etc I'm not going to get to see any movies now

See you in a couple days

What did you do to piss off your dad?

No it was an accident