What does your dad think?

Its really hard to gauge. He hates where he is but he hates change. I mean, hes just not a happy person so anything will be bad from his perspective.

I talked to mom today and got a little better picture of things. She thinks (and his caretaker backed this up) that he is sort of resigned to this move.

One of the biggest problems is the family dynamics. If i propose something, he'll automatically be resistant. If mom suggests something hell flat out reject it. But he loves and trusts his caretaker and she is working on him so i think hell be as ok as he can get with it.

I've since learned that if we move him, he can keep his cat AND his favorite caretaker. Im pretty onboard now.

Double check this.

I did. His main helper is really attached emotionally to him. This is probably harder on her than me. But, yeah, shes definitely onboard.

I think it is a big deal that he can keep his cat and favorite caretaker. It is so rare that it is allowed.

Dad's cat got sick. It wasn't bad but the vet says he has fleas, which means dad's place has fleas. They want to fumigate but that requires that he be moved for a day. This is proving to be difficult so mom is leaning towards just having people come in to clean the place while hes there. Fleas arent easy to get rid of so I'm skeptical but it is probably the best we can do. Worrying about this and also not having his cat is taking its toll on his mental state.

I talked him and he sounds horrible. He has to take deep breaths now when he talks and it is harder to understand him. I asked him about moving to a new facility and he isnt keen on it but he also understands that there arent many alternatives if he isnt happy where he is.

Fleas are not so big problem. I mean everything you can wash, should be washed hot. Everything vacuumed really thoroughly and hair of your dad and the cat washed with special shampoo few times and combed out. I mean flea eggs can survive without host pretty long, but not fleas themself, so if after this, his hair and the cat are washed regularly, pillow cover changed at least once a week, then risk of fleas coming back is really low. One of my exes had once the problem. We got it really fast under control.

I just got an email from a friend that is retiring next month. This is becoming an almost monthly thing now. I'm almost 60 and I probably have another 12 years of working left.

sigh

I haven’t had a lot to post about lately (more on this later). But, since it is the end of the year I thought I’d go back and see where I was last year and how things have gone.

Last year at this time:

My job was absolutely horrible
I was having issues with my sister
My condo was in the middle of a remodel and yet already way behind schedule
My script was going nowhere.
Most important, I was in a really bad place mentally.

My job situation took a lot of twists and turns during the year. At the first of the year I was desperate to get out and interviewed (unsuccessfully) a couple of places. Although the dilbertness of the job remains, the most significant thing that happened was getting a new boss. This has made all the difference in the world. I’ve gone from hating work to not really minding it at all. My hours are a lot more flexible and the pressure factor has all but disappeared. We get our jobs done without all of the bad boss nonsense. It really has been a game changer. I have no intention of leaving as of now.

I’m hesitant to say much about my sister because I think she may still read this. Things are better so I’ll leave it at that.

The condo was finished. It was certainly a bumpy road but the end product is great. I’m super happy with how everything turned out.

My script still sits on the corner of my desk, waiting to have the final touches put on it. I’m sort of stuck, really. I’m second guessing how good it really is. I have a habit of this sort of thinking. I get really excited about an idea and work really hard on it, but when it gets close to being finished I start thinking it sucks and just let it sit almost finished. On the flip side of this, I actually completed a (very) short story. I feel good that I was able to mark it complete and move on. I have another longer short story I’m working on now. Hopefully in the year to come I can finish the script and this story. I will say, though, that this isn’t as important to me now than it was before.

I bought a boat (and a slip, and a lift). I’m really happy about this. I’m getting a lot of good use out of it so far. It’s so nice to be able to walk over to the boat and be on the water in minutes.

My only real negative for the year is money. I’ve been debt free for a long time and now I no longer am. It is painful to see how much interest I pay every month. It’s also going to be a lot harder to get out from under it that I originally thought. I just can’t make any big purchases any time soon. So, my ratty couch and 14 year old truck are just gonna have to do for now.

But the biggest change has been my emotional/mental state.

I feel like some of the bloggers here use this as a vehicle to sort through their thoughts and feelings. It seems like I am compelled to write a lot more when things aren’t going well. I’m not sure why that is. But I’ve noticed in my blog that as I’ve started to feel better, I’ve written less.

I was going through a lot of rough times last year. I just never felt very good. I almost never got a decent night’s sleep. All of that has turned around significantly. I always wonder what it means to be happy. I don’t think I’m ever that. But I feel pretty good. I’m sleeping quite well. I don’t worry about things much. It’s all much better. I’m not sure when this happened and I haven’t thought about it much before now. It just sort of creeped up on me. I sort of feel like that getting in a bad place isn’t the result of one particular thing (although for some it is) but more a long process of little things not working for you. And, the same goes for getting back to a good place. I think it’s been a combination of a lot of things getting better. It hasn’t been me “thinking happy thoughts” or any of the conscious things I might do to feel better. It’s just a series of life changes.

All in all, it’s been a pretty damn good year.

My only NY resolution.

Get out of debt (except for boat loan).

+1

I'm glad your work situation is better and you are feeling better.

From a loyal subscriber.

Thanks guys.

Talked to my Dad last night on the phone. I could barely understand him. He was slurring his words pretty badly. In the background I could hear his helper keep telling him "you are slurring your words!", but he couldn't understand what she was saying. I don't know if this is just him going downhill or if he was on some medications.

He's pretty miserable now. He can't even walk across the room without help. And he just doesn't feel well.

My sister and his helpers have been working on getting him a hospital bed. It's really hard to get him out of his.

My blog here has been pretty thin lately. I don't really have any projects going and I think I need to come up with something. I'm a creature of habit and if I don't embark on something, I start stagnating.

I'm not really sure what to take on.

I've thought about trying to get that special someone in my life but I suck at that. I mean, I really liked being in a relationship but I'm so bad at everything about it, especially the meeting/dating part. I'm still on Match, but all of those ladies seem to want some sort of uber charming funny successful type and I'm none of that.

I still need to work on my writing but that is so difficult. I don't do well unless my mind is focused on the story and it's super hard for me to focus much.

I mean, there is alway fishing and I love that but it seems so... not productive. At the end of the day there isn't much to show for it.

Maybe I need to get over this idea that I need to achieve something and just enjoy.

Fishing is cool. You wrote few times a sentence or two about the fish you got, like the tarpon. It is interesting. You can write a lot of interesting stuff about fishing and boat and all technical details around it.

Have you thought about a dance course to meet SO. Something like salsa or bachata or if you can imagine to go hardcore: ball room dancing. I mean you are smart, interesting and good looking. It is complete waste that you are single. From your physical form you won't have any struggles with dancing. And it makes this awkward phase at the beginning of any dating a lot easier. And it is just fun. And a guy, who can dance.... A lot more women will want to spent time with you. ^^

Thanks lapka. I used to go dancing all the time. It was a big thing here after Urban Cowboy came out. But, I suck bad at it. It's not for lack of trying.

I played sports all the time up until my mid 40s. I'm a pretty good athlete from the waist up but I have slow feet. Like I have lead shoes on. Doesn't make for a good dancer.

I agree with you, though. I've always maintained that if I ever had a son I would make sure he learned to do two things well. Play golf and dance. Dancing will make him successful with women and golf will make him successful with men.

Golf and dance. Damn. I can't do either.

Also: Urban Cowboy? That's reaching way back!

Yeah, I'm old.

We actually used to go "kicker dancin" before that movie ever came out. There were several places to go, ranging from old honkey tonks (google broken spoke) to bigger dance halls with huge dance floors.

Then that movie came out and it became the cool thing to do. Yeah, i was cool before cool was cool. Kicker bars popped up everywhere. The competition was fierce. Nickel beer nights galore.

The movie captured that stuff pretty well.

I could do the basics. Two-step reasonably well. Waltz not so good. Polka even worse. Cotton eyed joe i could do in my sleep.

It was good times.

That is soooooo cool! *awe and admiration*

Yep as someone who can't dance at all, that sounds like it'd be a pretty amazing time.

Shouldn't places like that still exist somewhere? Go find the night where that happens and then go.

A couple months ago we were in the Wild Horse Saloon in Nashville. They had a stage with live acts and a large dance floor right in front. Early in the night they had line dancing lessons before the first act that pretty much filled up the floor. Before the lessons there was just music playing while people ate dinner.

During dinner there was a old guy (late 60s?) sitting by himself with a glass of water and french fries. By the way the staff interacted with him you could tell he was a regular. Several times he got up and headed out to the dance floor by himself. With no expression on his face and with his arms straight by his sides he would do what looked to be some strange dance steps. The song would end and he'd go back to his table to sip his water and nibble on his french fries. It really was quite odd.

But it all came together once they started the line dance lessons. He was out there and with more than one person doing it his steps didn't look so strange after all.

biggerboat could do the same thing!!

I am sure BB can do a lot better. like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rq3j2jGKec

Yeah, they still exist. It's a bar scene and just not my thing anymore.

Yeah. There is always that old guy at every dance hall. I applaud him but I don't want to be him.

Double LOL. You have no idea how leadfooted I am. Not a chance in hell I could pull that off ever.

All in all I think I'd rather find a lady that enjoys boating. I can do that!

fyp