thanks

Yeah, I'm not really sure why I write stuff like this. I just like to write I guess. We lead pretty boring lives and this is the opposite.

Personally, I'm pretty disconnected from all of this other than how my wife feels. I don't have a soft spot for either D. or mom. Just the opposite. D. on a good day is completely self-absorbed and manipulative. Before I met mom, I'd never met anyone that can consistently make the opposite of the right life decision. I just get upset because I see how it all affects my wife.

Somewhat positive news.

Report from not mom indicates D. has leveled out somewhat. We think she has taken at least some of her meds.

Upon hearing this, my wife declared victory. I'm much more skeptical. One day difference, although somewhat encouraging, isn't nearly enough to say she's on the road to recovery.

I'm still in "fool me twice" territory.

On a completely different note. My wife is flying to see her daughter today. She reported that she is surrounded by babies and toddlers. AND, on top of that she overheard the lady behind her telling her seatmate how sick she is.

My wife and I haven't talked much about D. lately. I feel like my wife got way too giddy about the last report and I don't want to be the guy that's always downbeat.

But, we talked today and apparently D. bought an almost new car and a piano. She got some money from her divorce and I was pretty sure she would blow right through it. When she was level a while back she told us that a clear sign of her mania is spending money. She probably doesn't have much left since it isn't a cheap car and I doubt she has the credit to finance it.

Meanwhile, she's still at mom's which is a clear indication she's not well.

never get involved in the life of a fool. as anyone watching wont be able to tell who is who.

I stand corrected. D. did not buy a car. She bought 2 cars and is renting a 3rd (while her old car sits somewhere unknown).

Apparently D. and mom got drunk this weekend and D. passed out and could not be awakened. Mom wanted to take D. to the emergency room but mom's boyfriend nixed it because mom was too drunk and he didn't see it as an emergency.

D. woke up and blamed the whole incident on the medication she was taking. We think it sort of was maybe. We believe she took some sort of anti-psychotic and a tranquilizer to help her sleep. We believe the mixture of the tranquilizer and booze put her down. However, her theory is that she is allergic to the anti-psychotic and won't touch it again.

It gets harder to get any information. The person that has been trying to stay in touch with the situation might have bailed. Mom has become extremely hostile to everyone that isn't D. She lashed out at our contact so that line might have ended.

I'm pretty sure D. will be completely bankrupt within 6 months. If I had to guess the future, mom will attempt to bail her out and lose her house in the process. Mom's boyfriend (of maybe 20 years?) is about to leave the whole thing and move to california.

D. got into an argument with the other sister and head butted her. Mom and boyfriend told D. to leave, which she did. Mom vowed to kick D. out. I seriously doubt that holds up.

Mom did indeed kick D. out. However, mom is holding some of D.s money so D. won't blow through everything. This has done nothing but antagonize D. further. I suspect D. will continue to harass mom until she gets her money.

And, speaking of money......

In addition to the two cars she bought and the one she rented, she has decided to put a new engine into her old car. The mechanics that have the car has strongly suggested she not do this but, hey. And, she bought a second piano because the first one didn't "sound right". But, she'll be keeping it anyway.

And, on the meds front, D. claims one of her psychiatrists.... Let me go back in time. D. has a psychiatrist she uses to get some sort of prescriptions. She told him she has PTSD and I'm not sure what she's getting from him for that. She has done that so she can claim disability. Anyway, this guy doesn't really do anything for her. When she got out of the hospital the last time, she was prescribed an anti-psychotic which, as I mentioned, she declared that she was allergic to. D. indicated this quack told her to stop taking it and to take benadryl to flush out her system.

The crazy never stops.

Not much to talk about. Mom kicked D. out and she appears to be holding to it. She did give D. back her money so D. has no reason to come back. So, we haven't gotten any updates.

We did find out that D. decided to let what little medication she took to "flow out through her body" before taking anything else.

I keep thinking it can't get any crazier. Then it does.

After her divorce D. ended up in some seedy hotel and met a bat **** crazy ex-marine who she ended up shacking up with. This guy is off the scale nuts. And scary. During her time with him they managed to get arrested for breaking and entering, violating a protection order, and assaulting the police. During that time he also threatened to kill almost everyone in D.s family. I have no doubt he abused her. I'm fairly certain this is why she eventually left him.

When she was fairly stable she talked a bit about how he treated her and how she never wanted to get near him.

Fast forward to this week. She drove up there to not only see him, but to marry him and bring him back here.

Mom is terrified. We have told mom that she should get a restraining order IMMEDIATELY. She has saved all of the threatening phone calls and texts from him. I would hope that it wouldn't be too hard to prove.

D.s son is not taking this well at all. His father has recommended that he completely cut her off. Block her texts. We encouraged it as well. The only issue is she slaps all sort of guilt on him. She has repeated numerous times that the only thing that keeps her from killing herself is him. Ugh.

I gotta say, if this story is you trying out your new children's book theme on us, I don't think it's going to sell...

Hehe. Working on a title. Maybe "Crazy D. Comes To Town"?

Florida woMan's Snowy Day

It's impossible to really know what's going on with D. right now because she's so far removed from reality. Mom does communicate with her regularly but who knows how much of what D. says is true.

Mom sent us a text D. wrote yesterday. It makes almost no sense whatsoever. But, we "think" that D. and the crazy ex marine are headed to Ft. Lejeune to get his feet amputated. I'm sure that will go well.

Mom said she will follow up on getting a restraining order for him. While she was talking to D. mom could hear him threatening to kill her yet again. We sent mom a ring (doorbell with camera). She was pretty happy to get this.

In other news.....

We've only been fishing once in the last three months. The wind here has been relentless. That's sort of a good thing because gas prices, as everyone knows, are crazy. Our typical fishing trip will probably cost as much as a first class ticket to pretty much anywhere in the U.S. That's not sustainable on a weekly basis. Not sure what we'll do.

I was talking to the marina owner this morning. Mostly about the cost of gas and the fact that their service department can't get parts to fix boats. On my ride home after talking to her I thought about how frickin' lucky we are to have this as our problem as compared to having your country bombed on a daily basis.

Apparently D. found a way to get away from the crazy ex-marine. She told mom that she thought he was going to kill her so she "escaped". Huge sigh of relief. I doubt he could find his way down here.

We aren't quite sure where she is, though.

Did they not get married?

Marriage is just another word for nothing left to lose

No clue. Even though she said they did, we suspect not.

So, we are speculating that the two declared their vows or something but there isn't any legal marriage. Don't really know.

After D. "escaped" she talked to mom again and said that his meds and phone were in her car and she still loved him. We haven't heard from her so we are again speculating that she went back to him again. No clue really.

The positive, if there can be, in this is that he's been squatting in an apartment they rented months and months ago, all the while threatening to kill the landlord. The landlord took this opportunity to change the locks and empty the place.

We (as in mom) haven't heard anything from her in over 24 hours which is unusual.

Finally heard from D.

She is in a hospital in Virginia.

Apparently she and that guy (yes she went back to him) were acting suspiciously at an ATM at 2:00 in the morning. They baker acted her. Not sure what happened to him. They would have taken her to a psych hospital but she tested positive for covid.

The nurse called mom to tell her all of this and D. was screaming in the background. Mostly blaming this on her "husband".

Mom is already making plans to get her. Wash, rinse, repeat.

Sigh. I'm sorry you and Mrs. Boat have to go through this.

Also sad to hear your fishing adventures are on hold due to the price of gas. Always enjoyed seeing pics of the monsters you hauled out of the deep, and I imagine it gave you a chance to get away from whatever in real life for a little while.

unfortunately a restraining order does little to stop the event from happening. only cutting off all contact with the parties and hoping the time factor gets you out of the loop. and of course being prepared to deal with anything intrusive that happens.

by staying involved you keep yourself a target to be part of whatever happens.

as joshua said in war games the only way to win is not play.

Thanks. Not too bad really. I'm completely disconnected and my wife is doing much better at distancing herself.

Well, mom is never going to disconnect. She's hardwired to mother. Her son and D. are basically 5 year olds that she treats as such.

Mom got to Virginia last night and has already seen D. Her and hubby are cancelling the rental car in preparation to bring D. back. Oh, and she also cancelled one of the new cars D. ordered. Sort of pisses me off because I'm like Ray here. She isn't doing a damn thing to get D. better. Just enabling her.

They got D. out of the hospital. They had a zoom call with the doctor before she got released. Apparently she said what he wanted to hear. Then mom told the whole story and D. went bonkers. The doctor said he didn't believe she was well but was willing to release D. to mom.

I don't blame the system, but this is the way it works. Get them stable enough to get them out. Again, not blaming the system whatsoever. This is solely D.s fault with mom's enabling.

They didn't take the rental car back because D. trashed it pretty badly. After they get home, mom plans on cleaning it up so she can take it back.

D. found out mom canceled the car D. ordered so D. immediately uncanceled it.

Wash

Rinse

Repeat

The crazy was strong yesterday.

D. and mom (and hubby) got back from Virginia (2 days ago). D. immediately left mom's, but not before taking mom's phone. We believe mom gave it to her because "she needs a phone". D. did have the crazy ex-marine's phone and it works but she took mom's phone anyway.

Mom woke up the next day and realized she needed her phone. So, they planned on driving to D.'s to get it. Meanwhile, D. left. Supposedly to go to the rental car place to turn in her rental car and get the car she ordered. So, mom turned around to meet D. at the airport. But D. told mom she was lost and was in the opposite direction. So, mom drove to where D. said she was but D. had already left. She told mom she was lost...again. Mom asked my wife to help guide D. back.

I listened in. D. was somewhere between bat-**** crazy and sane and manipulative. She wouldn't give my wife any sort of information on where exactly she was and would not pull over to get her bearings. This went on for quite some time. At one point we were pretty sure she was less than 5 minutes from our house which was many many miles in the opposite direction of anywhere D. needed to be. It's hard in the moment to figure this out but we finally realized D. was definitely not wanting to go home or anywhere else she needed to be. I finally got mad and yelled "pull the damn car over!". My wife went outside and continued to try to get D. to stop so we could manage the situation. After a few more minutes my wife finally lost it with D. and just started screaming at her.

Again, when you are talking to a crazy person it's sort of hard to figure out what is really going on. The whole day happened because she didn't want to give mom her phone back.

Meanwhile we urged mom to get a new phone. However, in her brain that meant getting a new number so D. could keep her old phone. We reiterated that the phone D. had needed to be turned off. Mom completely didn't get this. "Why would I need to do this? She needs a phone". We explained this phone had all of her contacts as well as apps to access her bank accounts. "Oh", mom said "I didn't think of that".

Mom was also furious about the entire day and vowed to completely cut D. off.

Later that evening mom (on hubby's phone) got a call from her sister who had called her. D. obviously had answered and told mom's sister she was in the hospital. Mom eventually talked to D. and it was true. She is in a hospital about 5 minutes from our house.

Mom's response................... "I'm going to go get D". My wife and I started yelling at mom. So damned infuriating. The same damn thing happens over and over. Hubby was furious as well.

We really think Mom is absolutely incapable of dealing with any situation on a broad level. It's as if she forgets any context or history at all. She can only deal with what is in front of her.

My wife's other sister is going to mom's this morning to get that phone situation fixed. Both her and my wife are ready to divorce mom completely. Hubby may leave as well.