yellow jackets are also wasps. but smaller ones. most nest in a hole in the ground some build a nest above like in barns and sheds..
those bigger paper nests are paper wasps. hornets also build big paper nests and also are in the ground.
they all sting, some are worse. in the fall they all get hungry before they die and get aggressive.

We have a family member that is bipolar.

There is a LOT to this story but I'll try to condense it.

She was previously married and, until somewhat recently, her husband dealt with it. It has gotten progressively worse through the years. They are no longer married and it is becoming apparent that my wife will become her caretaker.

During her divorce she went manic. With nobody there to sort of rein her in a lot of bad things happened. She eventually came down, but went right into a deep depression.

She stayed this way for quite some time, but slowly started to emerge from it. Once the fog sort of cleared she was aware enough to attempt to set up a plan in case she went manic again. She set up a durable power of attorney for my wife (and her son), but never got it notarized.

We haven't been involved too much up until now but she got an apartment fairly close to us and my wife has spent time with her. We visited her last week and she was sort of all over the place. She would go up and be giddy, then come down. She was reliving some traumatic events in her life which seemed to cause her to spiral. At the time it didn't seem too bad, but looking back we should have seen the signs.

This weekend she went off the rails. Some other family members were with her and summoned my wife and I. When we got there she was completely gone. I've never personally witnessed anything like it. Nonstop talking about all sorts of things. She would go from saying my name and spelling it to asking who I was. Talking about god and voices and the whole nine yards. Nothing within any realm of reality. It was scary. Her other family members had never seen her go through this and it was extremely emotional for them. It was a tough day.

We eventually called 911 because we didn't know what to do. The sheriff (4 of them) showed up. These folks were the utmost professionals. They eventually baker acted her but there was quite a bit of discussion between them if this was an acceptable route. I'm not sure what the criteria is but I believe when they found out that she lived alone they determined she might be a harm to herself. The female sheriff sort of took charge. She really had a resolve to eventually get her to a hospital, but with so much compassion. We sort of thought that there would be some resistance because she had been involved with law enforcement once before (same scenario) and resisted. But the sheriffs were patient and with my wife (who is a rock) eventually got her to the car. I can't thank these folks enough for the compassionate way they handled this.

They got her to the hospital and gave her some meds (Haldol I think) which helped calm her down. The hospital transferred her to a mental facility where she is right now.

She had made some really positive changes recently, including getting her own apartment. When she is stable she's not only able to make good rational decisions, she's aware enough that she understands that she might spiral again. But this stability is fragile. She was working on getting some things in place to deal with this if she went downhill again. Everything seemed to be going well but she started spiraling. She is so into her head that I don't know how she gets out. From what I witnessed the last few weeks, I am not hopeful that she will ever be able to lead a productive life. She has a strong resistance to anything pharmaceutical. There is no way she can level out without this sort of treatment. It will be an uphill battle.

There are so many side stories to this. She is close to her mother but her mother is an enabler that cannot make the correct tough decisions. It will definitely fall on my wife to deal with this. Probably the rest of her life.

We will be working on this from several angles. My wife will talk to an attorney to find out what she can do to be legally able to make decisions for her. There is an issue with money as well. She needs intensive therapy which isn't cheap. We really don't know our options when it comes to paying for everything. She is most definitely disabled and will never be able to hold down a steady job.

All of this is so foreign to us. We have so much to learn.

First of all, my compliments to the sheriff's office. Austin/Travis County has a special unit for these situation and it is always gratifying to see professionalism in action.

Secondly, have you looked into Supplemental Security Income (SSI)? It can be a big help in a situation like this.

What Mack said about the sheriff. I wonder if you could find them or supervisors and express your appreciation personally.

Not sure if it's the same as what Mack mentioned, but I think Social Security has a disability mechanism, to help people get money out before their retirement age when necessary.

Best of luck with this.

Thanks guys.

To make this easier to write, I'll call her D.

I suspect we've lost the window of opportunity.

My wife talked to the case manager yesterday who told her that D was in good spirits and was ready to be released the next day. The case manager said that a psychiatrist will meet with D before she gets released but after absorbing everything I'm pretty sure D can do whatever it takes to get released. This is the frustrating part. She is really good at manipulating everything and everyone that doesn't really know what is going on.

D called my wife last night and explained to her that she was already released but she decided to stay another night to help the other patients. This is the typical grandiosity we see with her when she isn't stable.

D called again early this morning to tell my wife that she needed to be picked up today. In the meantime, D has been on the phone with other relatives telling them that my wife did this and that to her. She portrayed the sheriff visit as "the militia hauled me away" and said that she was attacked by the sheriffs when she was riding to the hospital.

There were about 2 weeks of D thinking clearly and at the time we thought this would last longer. She needs intensive therapy and most of all, medication to stabilize her. Neither of which she really welcomed.

D got a good chunk of money from the divorce. Enough to live on for quite some time. I have no doubt it will be gone within a month and that she will be destitute and living hand to mouth again.

My wife is not doing well. She so wanted to help her but it just isn't to be I don't think. On top of that, she gets the brunt of the delusional abuse from D. It's tough. I believe my wife is ready to back away now, though. Which is tough too.

Mental health care in the US has moved from when they used to institutionalize everyone to now where the main aim is to get everyone out and living on their own. It's hard to work with from the perspective of a relative/friend wanting to help. You can see the cycle over the long term and bear the brunt of the ups and downs. The only thing you can do is accept it, realize that you have no control, step away and try to be there when help is asked for. As with most things, it sounds easy when it's typed out but is very difficult to put into practice.

Man. I know there are professionals that work with the patients, but are there any professionals that work with the families? People who can lay out all the family's options? Support groups?

I feel for you and I really feel for your wife. I have a hard time imagining what you must be going through.

at some point a person is not able to help someone anymore and it only ends up ruining themselves instead.
it may hurt but at some point you need to walk away and wash yourself of the situation for your own well being of someone that can no longer be helped.

good luck with this and react with your mind first instead of your heart.

D has continued to be in a manic state. She's not so far that she needs intervention, but she's definitely not thinking or acting rationally.

Since my last post, D. has turned on my wife and blames her for "calling the militia" when D. went off the rails. D. asked another family member to be her POA. This family member has been somewhat estranged from D. for years but D. somehow views her as an ally (against my wife) now. The new request for POA is nothing more than D. attempting to manipulate everyone involved with her. This family member, however, is definitely on the same page as my wife.

Both of them have drafted letters to D. which they will both give her soon. The gist of both letters is that they can't (won't) do anything for her until she decides to get proper treatment. This includes medication specifically for bipolar and regular visits with a therapist. The letters are sprinkled with lots of love but I'm not sure D. will see it that way. They are both holding firm with this.

Everyone around D. is forming a united front....except D.s mother who is the worst enabler you can imagine.

I fully anticipate the situation, and D.s mental health, to deteriorate.

It's really tough on my wife because there are so many emotions involved. I'm able to step back and look at this pragmatically but it is impossible (and understandably so) for my wife to process everything this way. But, she seems to be resolved to take stick to the tough love, knowing that things will most likely get worse before they get better.

Thanks. Although it's tough on the family I think everyone is doing pretty well. The mom is the biggest problem. I've never met anyone that can consistently make the opposite of the right decision when it comes to D.

Yeah, I think we're there.

I doubt we'll wash our hands of the situation. If D. decides to take the right path, we'll be there for her. Not until.

D. is now holed up in a hotel. She won't go back to her apartment. She sporadically shows up at mom's house but mom's significant other told her to leave.

She's torn up the hotel room and she plans to steal as much from it as possible before she goes. I'm skeptical that she'll leave until forced.

She's maxed out her credit cards.

Mom continues to not do the right thing.

The story takes yet another turn.

I haven't mentioned this before. D has a brother who is also bipolar. I'll call him R. The family dealt with this for years. He went on much worse psychotic episodes. He once tried to commit suicide by cop.

However, he finally decided to get medication and has stuck with it for a long time now. He's not really a productive member of society but he's mentally stable. He currently lives in a small house in the northeast that his son bought.

Well....... It seems this last storm up north broke all of the pipes in his house so he has decided to come stay with mom. Him and D pretty much can't be in the same place at the same time. R is mom's favorite so he'll be living at mom's which will keep D from camping out there.

Mom is pretty distraught right now but she continues to do the opposite of the right thing. She called the last place D was at to see if they could do anything. They cannot unless she gets admitted again to the ER. Mom won't do that. Mom has decided that she can talk D into going there on her own. Won't happen.

D's son is now suffering as well. He's not doing well in school because of all of this. D calls him over and over and won't get off the phone. My wife talked to him and suggested he just doesn't pick up when she calls. He fears she'll completely lose it if he doesn't. She will, but this needs to happen.

I don't know how this story ends but I suspect not well.

How old is D's son?

College junior.

Mom got D. out of the hotel and brought her to mom's house.

While mom was at work, D proceeded to spread napkins all over the kitchen and create dog food shrines. Shrining is one of Ds behaviors when she is manic.

Mom took her to the hospital. I'm not sure how she got D to go but she's there now.

Mom can tolerate a lot, but don't mess with her kitchen.

When they tried to give D. something to calm her down, she began to fight so they put her in restraints. They gave her a couple of things (I can't remember).

A little bit later, a psychiatrist came in to see D. Ds mother let my wife listen (and talk) in. Good because mom couldn't get much right. She told the psychiatrist the wrong drugs that have been prescribed in the past, among other things. My wife had to jump in several times.

The psychiatrist was immediately on it. She was upset that the last facility gave D no diagnosis whatsoever. She told D that D needs to take proper medication for bipolar as well as undergo extensive counseling. D was sort of out of it but in it enough to tell the psychiatrist that nobody could help her and that she knows what is good for her body.

D will be moved to another facility today that hopefully will give her a proper diagnosis. D continues to tell them that this isn't bipolar, it's ptsd, because she's receiving some sort of disability money for ptsd and doesn't want to lose it.

My prediction is that D will get out again, refuse to do anything, and spiral down. Wash, rinse, repeat.

On a much lighter note, I've decided to finally get going on another couple of children's books. They are completely different in every way from the Loonee Balloonees.

I am doing the illustrating. It will all be photographs of some sort. Most of them altered in some way. It's hard to describe. I tried this once before and just got frustrated trying to manipulate the photos the way I wanted but it's been about 10 years and photoshop has come a long way. It's pretty amazing what can be done with it.

I think I'll get two books out of this particular character. I'll post a page or two so you can sort of see what the idea is.

D is still in the facility she was taken to from the hospital.

She somehow got to a phone (definitely not authorized) and called my wife because it is the only phone number D remembers. She immediately began screaming at my wife. She told my wife to not say anything because SHE is talking. D proceeded to tell my wife that they have released her (not true) and that my wife needed to pick her up immediately. The ranting continued and my wife hung up on her.

Meanwhile, a psychiatrist saw D and gave her a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. This is the first time she's had an official diagnosis. D refuses to take any medication. The psychiatrist talked to mom and said they can implement a court order to force compliance if mom signs it. Mom is definitely onboard.

They now have medication for this that can be administered via a shot. The protocol for tackling the bipolar is to get this shot once a month.

We think that if D levels out that she will agree to this. Definitely not a given.

D. was apparently notified that a court order was imminent so she agreed to take 1 pill (can't remember what). She was then released.

Mom took her back to mom's house where I'm sure she won't leave any time soon. D. apparently has some sort of scheme concocted to go back to the first facility she was at to "get help". This is more procrastination manipulation so she can just camp out at mom's indefinitely while she pays for an apartment she doesn't seem to want to go back to.

Meanwhile, mom's favorite son - R. told mom that no way he will come to visit. Mom will eventually realize that as long as D. stays there mom will not see any of her family.

Will the pill last a month like the shot would? I was surprised that they lasted so long.

I'm not really sure. I don't think so since I know R. takes something daily.

I "think" the way it all works is there is a cumulative effect. So, you don't just get a shot or take a pill and you are stabilized. I believe it takes months of a regimen before you get to a good spot.

My wife has had a few conversations with R. about his experience. I don't think she's really ever talked to him about it since he's sort of a weird guy to begin with and they aren't super close.

But he said that most of the times he was manic there was a certain awareness that he was indeed manic. But he says its such a high in itself that you don't really want to come down.

However, he definitely went of the rails to a point where I doubt he was very self aware. Same with D. When I saw her the lights weren't on at all.

So much.

All of this hit my wife pretty hard emotionally yesterday (and today).

I can't even begin to go into all of the ins and outs here. D. is still manic. Mom has decided that the rest of the family is the enemy because she gets sucked up in D.s mania. No real communication.

We found out mom drove D. to two different facilities that D. decided on. Of course, she gets there and refuses to go in. This all happens in the middle of the night when D. really gets amped up. D. just manipulates people. Well, only mom because everyone else refuses to be manipulated. Even then, it has a profound effect on the entire family.

D. locked mom's boyfriend out of the house because she "didn't feel safe" and when mom finally let him in she got mad at him for some reason.

Meanwhile, D.s dad is an entire story on its own. Suffice it to say he isn't any help whatsoever and his live-in is a horrible human being who we don't associate with anymore.

We think that Ds son has terminated communication with D as well. We are hoping that this pushes her to get help since he's the only human on the planet she cares about.

The only person (other than me) in the whole thing that my wife can lean on is her sister. They are completely on the same page so that's good.

The entire thing is a total cluster ****. I wish my wife could completely disconnect but she can't.

I still think this is headed towards a really bad conclusion. Lots of bad things will happen before that as well.

Crazy is now the new normal.

D. has completely hijacked mom and they now go on manic excursions on a regular basis.

D. has also taken over mom's phone and is sending crazy texts to the family.

One was to tell everyone that they saw a tornado and people should get their cats inside. There wasn't a cloud in the entire florida sky when she reported this.

Every text has some sort of line indicating that D. is "doing much better".

They headed to D.s house with the idea that D. would go to her place and stay there. Of course everyone knew this wasn't going to happen. They are back at mom's house again. Somewhere in the middle of that, their car got towed. Actually, it isn't their car at all. It is mom's boyfriends that they took without him knowing.

boat, I don't know what to say. I hope you & Mrs Boat can accept some condolences (is that the right term?) from me.

I sincerely hope that you're able to get some value from your writing. I know it's helped me on other topics just to blow off steam, even if the people reading can't help.