Greetings fans,
I appreciate the feedback! Especially the comments about breaking my routine up. I figured, what is the best first step in breaking my routine...playing games outside my bankroll!
So I ninja reg'd for this afternoon's Event #28 - $10,000 Pot-Limit Hold'em. I don't play much PLHE (if that is an acronomanym) but I figure it's effectively no limit for pussies. I tried to ask jew if he wanted to buy 10% but he just responded back cryptically "spewaments?" Now my urge to dominate is indomitable.
Just before registering I check the WSOP live stream schedule. I don't want to be spewin' if there is no chance to have David Tuchman comment about how my aggresso level is revolutionary and that he and his fiance want to take me to dinner. Score, the final table is primary stream on Saturday night. And there is no NBA final game on Saturday, so you KNOW all the NVG haters and BBV degens will be riding that ********** harder than King Niche rode his morbidly obese girlfriend. Which is not often, but when it does happen, it's with the fury and anger of one thousand suns.
I get seated on table 12 in the one of the Rio rooms. I'm not sure which one, but it's the cold one. Confession - I said:
Quote:
Originally Posted by amusedlol
I never drink when playing cash. I might have a "lucky drink" on the last level of a tournament for the night.
...but I never said anything about not getting completely hammered prior to registration. Why do you think I keep getting busted with AK vs KK in the first round when OMC's 12 bet me AI?
Anyway, so I am chilling sick, but zoned in like a cobra at table doce. I am sooo zoned in that I am counting the grains of felt on the table. I am counting the pixels on the level monitor. I am counting the nosehairs of Jean Robert Bellande (seat 5, #humblebrag).
Just before I reach buzzed zen mediation oneness with the omniverse, the dealer aggressively elbows me "IT'S STILL ON YOU SIR!" with the tone of a man that doesn't feel like he needs to call me sir. Jokes on him though, I'm playing poker for a living and he is my temporary penis puppet.
Getting back to the action...I peel back and see my first card (K
) and authoritively announce "CALL".
"Sir, you're the big blind. Check or bet".
Oh. I quickly cobra scope the table and see that there is only one limper, Dennis Phillips, UTG. His range is polarized here A
A
to A
A
. I throw out a raise to narrow his range further. He clicks it back. The patented OMC limp raise. He definitely has A
A
. This helps out my 4 card spade draw. ****, I should look at my 2nd card now. I slowly peel back the K
. ****, I must have peeled the same card again. I mentally convince myself by thinking about it that this is the 2nd time that I have seen the card, purging myself of all possible live-tells. Let's do this. I flat.
Flop comes:
A
A
Q
.
Wow this flop hits sqar in Dennis's range. But if there is anything that I've gleaned from my years of reading 2+2 strat forums like OOT is that every hand in poker is effectively 50/50. Especially post-flop, where I can outplay the barbaric hordes.
Dennis bets pot, and I snap call. This is what we call fluffering the flop.
Turn comes:
J
This is a great card for us. I'm more confident in Dennis having pocket rockets than I am of norcaljew's burning burning love for DollarStoreBaller's girlfriend. Our redraw to the nut nut is of course paramount, but we still can Mississippi Bluff the river, repping the Royal Flush if needed. Friends and Family note - A Royal Flush is having 10 through Ace of the same suit. Lastly, I still have no idea what my second hole card is. This is an advanced move that prevents me from self-leveling....myself. Dennis bets pot, and I promptly call.
River comes:
10
Well slap my ass and call me Shirley. Dennis looks visibly uncomfortable as if he just saw the pics of the stripper from Club Platinum that katana1979 posted on his twitter last night.
This is such a dream situation...time to run the reverse Mississippi Bluff. I bet pot into Dennis. He shrugs and reraises pot. We are both AI at this point but I say repot just for effect all gigglely and breathing heavily. He double shrugs and turns over his A
A
. **** I hate being so good at poker. I tell him to choose one as I spread both cards in from of him. He chooses the left one but I go for max tilt effect and flip over both at the same time. K
K
.
****ing RIO!
The TD is called over and declares a misdeal, and that Dennis and I will chop the small blind. WHAT THE ****. I MWAS SO ****IN MAD I STARTED SPITTINGup BLOOD FOAMING UP ...PUNCHED MY SELF in teh side of the head I FEEL LIKE A WORM WHO HAS HAS BIN SHOVELLED WHEN THE GROUND IS COLD OR MABE STUCK HIS HEAD IN A TURD.
Then, then it becomes delicate time. I don't want to get into the details but eventually I had to get katana(Friends and Family note: this is the same guy as katana1979) to bail me out of jail. I used my first phone call to reach jew, but he just responded to my story by saying "spewaments?"
Anyway, I may get into the details of my tempban, fisticuffs with Brandon Cantu, and table flipping escapade later...
(Friends and Family note - everything is still 'alleged' escapades at this point.)