September 1, 2017
Danny (Sponsor) "Whatever you do .. DO NOT GAMBLE"
March 04, 2018
Highway 75 South
Mom "You gambling?"
Lover959 "Hell no .. Are you crazy"
Newday "Liar... You just blew $1400"
Click
Lover959 "****.... How am I going to make it trough the week?!! Car payment, cable, Internet, HOA is all late"
Newday "Maybe Lapka is right... You need to start over somewhere else"
Lover959 "I'm tired of this ****ing compulsive brain! The porn, the strip clubs, the gambling, the alcohol, the womanizing. I'm 47 years old. A ****ing waste of 20 years of my ****ing life!!!"
25-28 - stock trading addiction in high volatile Internet and technology stocks
28-38 - Internet poker and strip club addiction
42-47 - Video Poker addiction.
Out of all compulsions, Video Poker is the most horrific and damaging addiction I have ever experienced in my life. I mean all the sexual addictions screwed relationships but the gambling addiction in that stupid game has caused havoc on my finances that seem insurmountable. Also, they caused havoc on family, work, and personal relationships. It's funny how a stupid game seemed to wreck my life. It does not help that I just lost over $4,000 dollars today. That was money I could not afford to lose. It included my mortgage, my car payment, HOA, cable bill, electric bill, car insurance. I do not know where I got this. I started getting obsessed with the game when I heard the podcast, Gambling with an Edge. Bob Dancer is a supposedly professional video poker player. I should not blame him. I imagine my personal demons would find anything to grasp on to. Maybe this is a lesson about addiction. My father became addicted to OxyContin towards the end of his life. I definitely understand obsessions and addiction having attended various 12 step programs over the last 3 years so I am on guard. I won't have more than 1 drink when I go to a bar. Pornography seems to still be a problem still but it's free. I sometimes think we are trying to relive trauma from our past.
I guess the good thing now as I ponder is 1) I'm not in prison, 2) I'm safe and back home and 3) I did not try to burden family and friends with my problem on my drive back. I wanted to call my sister and make her wire me 20k. That would just cause more drama and stress.
Last edited by Stormtrooper97; 06-09-2018 at 09:38 PM.
It didn't wreck your life. Money is dust. You are wrecking your life in every moment you don't live it. Good decision not to ask your sister for money. *thumbs*