Deep breaths Spanktehbadwookie, this isn't about you. You are free to chime in though.

The wife and I had a sit-down discussion about spanking and overall discipline. The wife, who had been spanked quite often as a LO naturally favors it in at certain times but has been leaning away from it. I, on the other hand, had more of the "talk approach and have become somewhat against spanking. Would any Unchained Psychologists be interested in voicing their educated opinion on the matter? Anyone else is free to discuss their childhood beatings and whether or not they feel it served any useful purposes.

Mods, feel free to delete this thread if you feel it is too far out of bounds for PU. I do believe it does offer some political direction though.

Kinky.

Let's stipulate that everyone involved knows the difference between spanking and beating and what we're talking about is not going to physically harm the child in any way.

I have no problem with physically disciplining a child when done properly, it is probably not done properly all that often. My mom favored Hot Wheel tracks my dad the belt.

No kids here so take my thoughts with a grain of salt. I would want to spank when angry and would probably be best for me to avoid altogether.

Probably never, but the only thing I think might be ok in some cases would be a small, mostly symbolic, swat kind of thing for children like 3-5 years old about not doing something dangerous, but you don't think they're fully capable of understanding a talk and they don't really appreciate that you are angry. Most kids that age will respond to an angry rebuke about the same as a spanking unless you make angry rebukes worthless by using them all the time. But, I think some kids are somewhat oblivious to their parents' anger.

After something like 5 or so for most kids you can make a punishment something that happens in the relatively near future - denying a toy or w/e. Before something like that they only care about what is happening at the moment.

Generalizations. Developmental ages vary of course.

I have a hard time seeing a scheduled spanking for punishment as ever being optimal, but I think more parents should be encouraged to give their kids a whack on the ass when they're screaming in the supermarket or something.

Scheduled spanking is gross. Seems psycho.

I've never needed to hit my dogs so I don't see myself hitting a child as some part of general parenting.

I was hit once by one of my parents. I grabbed my sister's hair and wouldn't let go, so my mother gave me a firm tap on the backside and explained that if I didn't like being hurt I should understand why I shouldn't hurt others. I'm not sure how old I was, probably five or six. I don't have a problem with that kind of example, where immediately getting your child to do something is necessary and physical intervention was the only way (I hadn't let go when told, so someone needed to make me).

But pretty much if your main form of discipline is physical, or you use it to coerce your child into behaviour you like, I think it's lazy parenting.

Depends on the situation but no matter what, there can be a situation where it is warranted.

I believe its a dream of every parent, not having to spank their children but some do it.
How much of the doing is warrant, probably not much and a majority of the time it is because the parent created the issue.

I thought for a second, when reading this thread; someone was in trouble for giving the other gender a spank.
Good to see that is not the case yet. :roll eyes:

Anyway, monkey see, monkey do is huge factor into spanking or it wouldn't be so easy to do.

There is tons of data and research against spanking and the best argument people that are pro spanking can come up with is well I was spanked and turned out fine. Please for the sake of your child don't.

So far as I can tell there are no reputable studies indicating that spanking leads to lasting, desirable behavior change. I'm open to this being not the case, but I've been told repeatedly through my schooling that it's not an evidence based method. What I do know is that punitive, punishment-based methods often yield short term change at best, and aren't advocated for by any behaviorally minded folks I know.

My son is 11 and I have spanked him about 5 times. Usually one open handed whack on the butt for being smart with his mom and once for talking back to a teacher. About a year ago he stole money from a family member and lied about it to my face 3 separate times and when the truth finally came out I slapped him in the face, felt kinda crappy about that after the fact.

i don't plan to spank my kids, but if i ever feel the need to i will.

i'm not worried about the people who spank their kids 5 times total in their life, i can't imagine that's harmful in any way, and it probably shows at least some exercise of judgment that its warranted over other methods for whatever reason in those cases. i'm worried about the people where spanking is their go to.

Girl I was on a date with this weekend was very pro-spank when this subject came up. Kind of alarming imo.

Do you have children?

When you try everything else to instill discipline there are times a swat on the behind gets their attention. It should be used as a last resort and so should be used very sparingly. To rule it out completely......never going to happen.

Of course you won't rule it out rara, you are a violent moron who aggressively avoids learning

"Positive attitudes toward the use of corporal punishment (CP) predict subsequent spanking behavior. Given that CP has frequently been associated with behavior problems in children and child maltreatment, this prevention work was designed to test whether adults’ attitudes could be changed by informing participants about the research findings on problematic behaviors associated with CP."

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science...45213413003189

Telling people that hitting their kids causes problems seems to be effective...

So yeah, stop hitting your kids.

I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old, hitting my children has never crossed my mind and never will.

There is enough research showing that hitting your child not only doesn't work it causes serious side effects to the child's brain.

Wow, I wonder why he lied to ya about it.

My boys turned out just fine thank you

As I said rara, you are a violent moron stuck in the 50's who aggressively avoids learning so your viewpoint on this subject is not a surprise.

This is a tough thread for letsgambool to navigate safely

No chez, its really not. Im not wil. Research out there says don't hit your kids. Of course morons like rara are going to say hurrrr durrrrrrr I turned out just fine, but people used to smoke and drink heavily during pregnancy and some of those kids turned out fine too. You still shouldn't smoke or drink heavily during pregnancy.

We also have posts from rara talking about poor people who have cancer "can choose not to get treatment" as well as thinly veiled racism, so we sort of know he's a dumb, terrible person. So again, his views in this thread aren't surprising.

Well done so far. It's a bit unfair people can talk about how they treat their kids and you can't respond.

Possibly Kerowo should consider a special case in this thread but hard to see how to do that without you going OTT.

Spanking is for consenting adults only please.