How do you feel about people getting head in the movie theatre? Commence brag:

About 2 years ago my then girlfriend and I went to the local "hipster" theatre on opening night of The Road. We were early, because we figured the hipster crowd would want to see this movie. Well, we ended up being the only two ****ing people there. The movie kind of sucked, so she just gave me a blowie instead. It wasn't very good. So, a disappointing night all-in-all.

Also, if I remember correctly, when we left we walked out in a hell of a snowstorm and it took us like an hour to get home in what would normally be a 20 minute drive.

Brag turned in to beat.

I knew people who worked in a cinema. Long story short, spitting is really wrong and yet more common than you would expect.

Ive never gotten more of a handjob in a theater. Its not much of a brag if the theater is empty. Im too much of a chicken**** to get head or sex in a theater. I also would like to keep my criminal record as small as possible

Yeah, but what if it was being offered by Tamina?

ROFL. Wait till she gets pushed to the moon and they pull a rosa mendes on you all!!!

I'm interested in this, mainly because I do think she had flashes of being pretty good looking, but for the most part she is not.

Like. . . I wouldn't say no to her.

When i saw her live I had no clue it was her

i have never received fellatio in a movie theater

FYP

sometimes though i wonder how life would have been if i were as "sexually enlightened," so to speak, in high school as i am now

FOR EXAMPLE!

sophomore year of high school i moved to a new school/city. this girl who i was friends with at my old school still kept in contact with me. we'd be on the phone for almost an hour a day every other day, at time begrudgingly for me obv but w/e she's my friend.

so she was flirting with me without me really realizing or understanding it, a fact she made clear some years later when we were in college together. i should have known this sooner, especially that one time we were on the phone and i hear some random buzzing, ask what it is and she tells me it's a vibrator (i'm watching a sf giants game at the time). soooo for the next 15 minutes she's on the phone masturbating, telling me she's thinking about me and saying she wishes i was there to tease her with the vibrator, and i'm just sitting there watching baseball not really paying much attention and trying to study for my chem honors test.

then she gets mad cuz her batteries died and has to finish manually. she asks me to talk her through it. not really knowing what she meant i'm reading my chem book out loud. after a few minutes she hangs up

we did **** in college though. so all's well that ends well

IRM has tehgay

well my name is my name

True that.

I was a late bloomer myself. I never even kissed a girl until my senior year or high school.
I soon made up for lost time though.I would tell stories but no one will believe most of them and it wont end well

Now this is an epic post.

Its stories like that where I wish we could hear it from the other side too.

"So this guys started reading his chemistry notes!"

i wish i could say this was my biggest sexual botch

Moar sexual botch stories, please. IRM's story had me lolling so hard. But, in his defence, baseball is the best.

As for me, my only real embarassing one is as follows:

I love me some big titties. Like, I'm a titty man through and through. So, I was dating this girl who wasn't small, but she was definitely good looking. The best thign about her (and I'm including personality) was that she had massive terts and she LOVED the sex. Wild, crazy sex. So, for the 6 months we were together, it was good times.

The first time we had sex, we were at a party at one of my buddies' places. In the few months prior, him and his girlfriend had sex on my bed at my place and neglected to tell me until the next morning. Generally I don't really care about stuff like that, so it didn't bother me, but I did tell him I was going to get him back.

Naturally, I felt the best time to get him back would be to have sex in his bed RIGHT NOW. So, her and I wander downstairs to his bedroom, get in there, and leave the light off. We do the making out thing, she gets down on her knees, and starts giving me a BJ. We do that for awhile, until she sits down on the bed and leans back and I do my thing.

Well, when we finally decide to do the nasty, she slides up the bed and slams in to a lump lying there. She panics, and the lump starts to stir. I'm going "wtf" the whole time and finally, in my slightly drunken state, turn on the light to reveal my buddies' girlfriend waking up after passing out in his bed to my girlfriend and I standing there naked just looking at her stupid. She screamed, but that's not even the embarassing part.

Guess who decided to start her menstrual cycle while I was going down on them, and guess who had blood all over his jaw. Yes, it was that disgusting. And my buddies' girlfriend broke in to a drunken, stumbling panic when she saw that and bolted upstairs. We locked the door behind her and found some towels to clean ourselves up.

Later, when asked how the **** I didn't notice blood coming out of her vag, I couldn't really figure it out. I boiled it down to being super excited to be having sex with her for the first time, getting my revenge, and just assuming that she was really wet. Also, the liquor may have had a slight effect.

Yes, I never live that one down. Ever. It's quite upsetting, but now kind of funny in hindsight.

That story took such a weird turn after the apparently totally unrelated beginning of "I love big boobs."

The big boobs thing was more or less to defend my decision to date a non-skinny chick.

Also, I read what I wrote, and I kind of realize it makes it seem like I had blood or something FLOWING from my mouth, but I really didn't. There was just definitely noticable blood on my face and hands.

Wow Wally wins (loses?) hands down. That was a ****ing great story lol.

I would have also accepted survivorshockgrin.gif

I wish the rest of my life was as exciting outside of the few sex, Big Wally, and drinking stories I have.