WrestleMania XV
March 28, 1999 - First Union Center, Philadelphia, PA
- Boyz II Men does America the Beautiful. Way to stay current, Vince. To put it in perspective, they broke out when I was in high school and hit their peak a couple of years later. I was two years out of university when this show aired.
- Maybe my all-time favourite video package opens things up, with Classy Freddie Blassie running down the history of the show and lending some gravitas to the proceedings. Little did we know this would be the high point. Michael Cole makes his Mania debut on commentary subbing for JR, who was stricken with his second bout of Bells Palsy. Fifteen years later he still sounds just as bad.
Hardcore title, triple threat: Billy Gunn [c] vs. Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly 1/2*
This is a Vince Russo special, as Road Dogg had been in the Hardcore title picture for the last few months (and was doing a pretty good job with it) and Gunn was in a program with IC champion Ken Shamrock. So Russo decided to SWERVE~! everyone by switching their programs before Mania as if it didn't make a difference. The 24/7 rule had not yet been introduced, so this is just a normal match. The most over guys here aren't even in the match -- the crowd sings along with the Road Dogg during Billy's entrance, and chant "Let's Go Flyers" when a hockey stick gets introduced. This was nothing worthwhile, the Hardcore title was still new and they really hadn't settled into a rhythm with these matches yet. Plus, of course, Billy Gunn was prominently involved.
Tag team titles: Owen Hart & Jeff Jarrett [c] vs. D-Lo Brown & Test *
Another Russo cliche makes its Mania debut here -- wacky tag team partners who hate each other! In this case, Test and D-Lo won a battle royal on Sunday Night Heat to determine the champions' opponents. Heaven forbid we build up a decent tag team title match for the biggest show of the year. This felt like it was going at half-speed the entire time (particularly D-Lo, who looked awful), and then we get an argument outside the ring and boom, match is over just like that. Nice finish at least, with an Owen missile dropkick leading into a Jarrett bridge for the pin. Plus we get the start of that epic Test/D-Lo feud I'm sure everyone was clamouring for.
Brawl For All match: Bart Gunn vs. Butterbean
Bart Gunn guarantees in a prematch video package that this will be very exciting. Before I can finish cleaning up from the spit take that caused, Bart gets knocked the **** OUT by Butterbean. No rating for boxing matches, but believe me, this was hilariously awful. The only highlight for me was Gorilla Monsoon's last appearance. even though it was apparent he didn't have much time left.
Big Show vs. Mankind DUD
Winner of this will referee the main event. As if that match needs anything else added. I'd forgotten how bad Big Show was when he first came in. Another nothing match with a crap finish, as Show chokeslams Mankind through two chairs in the ring (kind of) for the DQ that helps nobody. And then we get another five minutes of Vince laying into Show for getting himself DQed and then getting laid out as a result (another shocking SWERVE~!). This whole sequence played out like a standard Raw segment.
IC title, four corners elimination: Road Dogg [c] vs. Val Venis vs. Goldust vs. Ken Shamrock *1/2
All four of these guys are current/former IC champions. And if you remembered that only Goldust was a former champ before the LAST Mania, you'd easily realize that the belt was being passed around like Sunny on a coke binge. Of course, the only guy not involved in the angle surrounding this match is the champion. Thanks, Russo. These guys were trying hard, but every finish in the match was super ****ty (double countout on Val and Shamrock, followed by a rollup off a powerslam attempt by Road Dogg). Even worse, Goldust would beat Road Dogg for the title the very next night, flushing the belt down the toilet one more time.
Triple H vs. Kane *
The Pete Rose gag was funny, but with no TitanTron, the live crowd had no clue what was actually going on. Teddy Long is refereeing, I'm sure trying to suppress every instinct to make this a tag team match. Slow, plodding match. There were a couple of decent spots, but this was mostly just there to set up the angle to follow, otherwise why do you book a DQ finish in a blood feud at WrestleMania? Chyna of course nonsensically turns on Kane to rejoin Triple H in another SWERVE~!, but that'll at least send the fans home happy, right?
Women's title: Sable [c] vs. Tori -**
Yeah, I think we can definitely thank Luna for Sable looking so good last year. Absolutely godawful work, throw in a ref bump and a Nicole Bass run-in and you've got a complete trainwreck. Can't imagine this show getting any worse (lol, yeah right).
European title: Shane McMahon [c] vs. X-Pac **1/2
Crowd is amped to start for maybe the first time tonight, they want to see X-Pac take Shane apart. And in a saner, Russo-free universe, that might be what they would've gotten. Good match, easily the best on the show so far. Shane always seems to rise to the occasion and make everyone forget he's a non-wrestler, and X-Pac put forth a good effort as well. No huge spots, but this was well-worked enough that they didn't need them. But all of it was secondary to the next big SWERVE~!, as HHH and Chyna come down and erase everything from 20 minutes ago with a Pedigree on X-Pac. Crowd chants for HBK to no avail, but Kane comes down to try to avenge his loss earlier. **** YOU SIDEWAYS, RUSSO. The turn did end up launching HHH into the big time, but on this show, it's just the crowning moment of a night of meaningless matches and swerving for swerving's sake.
Hell in a Cell: Undertaker vs. Big Bossman -**1/2
Oh, good lord. I mean, heel vs. heel in a Mania semi-main is a horrible idea to start with, but make it two guys who aren't exactly the most mobile guys to begin with, put them in a cell where fans have been conditioned to expect nothing but thrilling matches, and have them put on the most basic, rudimentary match you can think of, and you have a recipe for disaster. The crowd openly turned on this one, and for good reason, as they were given absolutely nothing to care about. And as if this ****show didn't go far enough, the Brood comes out at the end to hang the Bossman from the top of the cell. I'm sure that won't be found distasteful by anyone. This would also lead to the Higher Power angle, which went...well, you know. And if you don't, you don't want to. Easy bottom 5 Mania match to this point.
WWF title: The Rock [c] vs. Steve Austin ***
JR comes out to announce, thank god. JR at 50% is still better than Cole at his very best. Since it wouldn't be a Russo match without some kind of angle, Vince comes out to referee, but Shawn Michaels as commissioner overrules him brings out...Mike Chioda to ref. Awesome payoff for all the crap leading up to this. Austin with of course the biggest pop of the night. They decide to start with basically the same brawling outside sequence that Hart/Austin at XIII started with, but much longer (nearly ten minutes) and not as well. When they got back in the ring, it seemed like they went right to the ending, and edited out most of the middle section. As a result, it felt very disjointed. OF COURSE there are ref bumps, several of them, all in service of seeing Mick Foley make the heroic comeback (SWERVE~!), knock out Vince and eventually count the Rock down to give Austin his second world title. Decent match, but they'd have much better -- one a month from now, and of course one two years from now. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Overall: 2/10
This was just abominable. I've seen episodes of Raw that were better than this. The problem with Vince Russo is that he may put on compelling weekly TV -- and even that's somewhat debatable -- but you pay for it with PPVs like this. Survivor Series 98, Royal Rumble 99 and this show were all disappointments to varying degrees, and this was the worst of the bunch. So the question is, is it worse than WrestleMania IX? Well, the wrestling was worse, the announcing was worse, the storylines were incomprehensible, and it certainly felt like less of a WrestleMania. So, to quote the champion, oh hell yeah. Worst Mania of all time, and I don't see that ever changing.
Ratings so far:
III - 9.5
X - 8.5
XIV - 8.0
VIII - 7.0
VII - 6.0
VI - 5.25
V - 5.0
XII - 4.75
I - 4.5
13 - 4.5
XI - 4.0
2 - 3.5
IV - 3.0
IX - 2.5
XV - 2.0