The whiner... you know, the guy who whines that he's getting no cards.. who whines when he can't get any action when he finally gets cards.. and who whines when he wins a pot that he should have won the pot with a better hand (I swear I've seen this more times than I can count -- what difference does it make if you didn't win with your flush draw but still won with a straight?). When they start up I just now say "oh, do we need a cheese platter for the table?". Those who get it laugh -- the whiner just.. whines.

Buying in for $100 at $1/$3, getting it all in to double up, and then immediately adding another $100 bill in play was my standard move for a really long time at $1/$3 at the Rio. My mentality was that my BR couldn't care about a lost race or a bad beat for a third of a BI every session, and probably 65% of the time I would be able to be sitting at the table with $100 of someone else's money to make plays with very fast. If I lost it I would just buy in $300 like o well lets play for realz now.

This is what I picture these women are actually thinking:

As long as you're playing with a real stack at some point. The thing I can't stand is when I'm sitting there with 200BB from the jump, and there's another 2,000BB out there, but it's all in people's pockets and waiting to be put on the table 25BB at a time. "All-in! Oh, I lost. Here, let me rebuy for $50." Again and again and again and again.

What attracts me to cash games is being able to actually play poker after the flop. If I wanted to play preflop donk-fest, I'd have signed up for the $20 turbo tournament.

Yeah. That's my former manager's wife, right there.

but pre-flop donkfest is one of the best parts about a lot of cash games.

i'm not sure what casino you're at where people are minbuying for 25bb. in any case i would not at all mind people at my table putting 20bbs or more into the pot every hand, whether its a shove or not, whether they have junk or not. that's like the definition of +ev if they're literally doing it every hand. are you playing like the $40-$60 $1/$1 game at the bike? because of course then that ppl are shoving for $50 and rebuying for $50 every hand because half that player pool has mental disorders.

This so much!
I really don't mind anything else, people whinging when they lose a flip is just so standard it goes over my head. It's only the above which has a negative impact on the games.

2/4 limit is a sick game i've turned $40 into $1600 in one 20 hour marathon room hopping on freemont street and playing $2/$4 against all the mutants there.

Had this guy last night. He was even whining two hands after he won a decent pot with AA.

Look around you, buddy. If everything else is equal, you should be winning 10% of the time on average. This isn't some grand conspiracy against you. Other people win more than you because there are more other people than there are you.

Meh. If that's your thing, have fun. Personally, my favorite parts of cash games are stealing pots on the flop, getting people all-in dead on the turn, and inducing people to make expensive bluffs on the river. None of that is really available in a preflop donkfest.

I was talking about a whole table min-buying as an exaggeration. More often, it's only a couple players who are doing it, so it's not an outright shove-fest. That would be a mega-easy game, though—everyone all-in every hand, and only you are being selective about your preflop hands. I suppose I could sit in on that. Wouldn't be very fun, though.

People who open limp - call off huge raises pre-flop and get lucky, then tell the story about the hand and claim that they were priced in because they were in the big blind.

UTG limps for $2 with 44, MP raises to $12 with whatever, CO reraises to $40 with AA, BTN hesitates and goes all-in for $250 with KK, UTG snap-calls, MP folds, CO snap-calls.

Board comes A44 rainbow. Turn K. River whatever, probably another ****ing 4 just to rub it in.

UTG slams 44 on the table like he just made some championship play. "It was tough, y'know, but I really had to call there."

Not sure how much it "irks" me but I have always found it amusing how certain women and certain old men play with such chips on their shoulders.

I have literally heard women say things along the line of "I know you are only bluffing me because I'm a girl" and certain old men just stubbornly call down any kid in their 20's.

I am only bluffing her because she's a girl.

Intentional slow play drives me absolutely insane.

The card funeral guy who holds his cards up, stares at them, flicks them. "These cards had so much potential, I can't believe I have to lay them to rest. RIP AKs. OK, I fold."

What? I love those players. If I'm at a table, those are the types of players that I'm happy to see.

You should shake your head in agreement, and be fully excited you're sitting at a table with this player.

I sat next to a player who bought in to the 2/5 game for minimum at $100, lost all but maybe $30 of it, then paid for his fish dinner with chips and was left with maybe $6 or $7. He sat until the blinds got to him without playing a hand, then got up.

I hate the people that waste everybody's time when it gets to showdown when they look at their cards, stare at board, look at cards again, then once again stare at the board for 20 more seconds trying to see if it will give him the best hand until he finally mucks. drives me ****ing nuts

^^^ it's even worse when they eventually turn up the winner. Been on the receiving end of a few "accidental" slow-rolls.

lmao I am definitely using this phrase next time I play with one of the several people who habitually do this.

This. +1

At my local room they have a promotion where the first 2 hours of play is no rake, this highlights any time waisting to like x10 for me (It's possible its all in my head but seems like its taking twice as long to get through every effing hand!). It has pissed me off to the point of having to say something out loud combined with muttering obscenities under my breath and making obvious sighs of frustration (Which btw is very out of character for me, I usually have a pleasant and cheerful demeanor at the table ).

Anyway a few months back a guy was "slow mucking" on 6th street in a hand I wasnt involved in. Its about 1.5 hours into the free rake time and he has his cards held up in front of his stupid effing face like he was witnessing the most unfortunate event ever to take place on the planet ! At this point I reach my boiling point (red faced and very obviously full of rage) I just yelled at him a combination of these kind of phrases (used some of them multiple times, it prolly carried on for a full two minutes) "OK, LETS GO ! YOUR BEAT ! THATS IT ! TIME TO THROW IT AWAY ! ALRIGHT NEXT HAND ! TIME TO LET IT GO NOW YOU ARE 100% BEAT THERE BRO ! C'MON NOW !" I did feel bad that all the abuse from the last hour and a half of frustration was all taken out on him, he did however seem to take it quite well almost as though he could understand my point, Infact it actually seemed to work for speeding up the whole game to some degree.

Its only this and guys who display big ego's especially with prolonged strat talk that really gets my goat. Mostly everthing else even poor hygiene ect. Doesnt bother me to awful much.

This is a fresh one. The self-righteous, in-the-know player who, "likes playing against good players," because, "fish always suck out," on him.

What's worse is when this guy berates and humiliates the fish's dumb play, who then gets embarrassed and leaves with his winnings.

Thanks, *******.

I agree completely. It's just this is seriously the hardest time for me to not tap the tank. So tough for me for some reason. Which makes it irritating to just sit be quiet and listen.

A guy is sitting at a cash table for a while. Low limit, and he's playing the typical fishy "any two cards" style, if you can call it a style. Then he gets up and walks somewhere for a few hands, missing his blinds. The dealer tosses his seat the blind chips while he's gone, and when he returns, tells him that he has to post both to come back in. He gets all pissed off, picks up his chips, and leaves all huffy like someone did something wrong to him.

I wanted to slap the little bitch.

The best I can usually muster is something vague like, "That sure was a big pot." But I secretly want to sneak under the table and tie the guy's shoelaces together so he'll fall on his face when he gets up to leave.