I always leave my chat off but my daughter sometimes plays and leaves it on - on the same computer, the settings stay the same when you switch, so sometimes I get surprised by chat. This proves why you should leave it off and why, sometimes, if you are in the mood for surrealism, you should leave it on. Sorry, no ALL CAPS SWEARING AND THREATENING PEOPLE'S CHILDREN - but - well - you'll see if you wade through the mundane first part. I changed the names to protect the (insert adjective here)
*** 6th STREET ***
Dealt to BritBoy [9h 2d 3h] [7s]
Dealt to SamSmooth [5d 4h 8s] [Ks]
BritBoy: bets $1
SamSmooth: calls $1
*** RIVER ***
BritBoy: bets $1
SamSmooth: folds
Uncalled bet ($1) returned to BritBoy
SamSmooth said, "nice catch donk"
BritBoy collected $6.35 from pot
SamSmooth said, "fished me again"
BritBoy said, "donk ?"
BritBoy said, "sore losere"
SamSmooth said, "sore donk"
BritBoy said, "hahaha"
BritBoy said, "always americans crying"
BritBoy said, "its 2$ , get a grip"
SamSmooth said, "good one....yeah attack a whole country"
SamSmooth said, "cause like all 300 million of us are exactly the same"
BritBoy said, "just shut up, cry baby"
SamSmooth: bets $0.50
SamSmooth said, "you're as dumb as they get"
BritBoy said, "keep crying"
SamSmooth said, "keep playing nines up fool"
BritBoy said, "i even play K's"
SamSmooth said, "yeah cause you're braindead"
BritBoy said, "its about 7 cards donk"
SamSmooth said, "LOL"
SamSmooth said, "says the fish"
SamSmooth said, "i love fishes like u who try to justify"
BritBoy said, "i just know the game better"
SamSmooth said, "LMFAO"
BritBoy said, "mr 5$"
SamSmooth said, "keep talking donk"
DegenR8 said, "so Sam, you were playing a brick in the hole or you paired - which one?"
SamSmooth said, "best cards dont always win with donks like u getting lucky"
SamSmooth said, "i obv paired"
BritBoy said, "hahahhaa"
SamSmooth said, "i dont play stupid like the guy to my right"
BritBoy said, "got for u"
BritBoy said, "u dont win either"
BritBoy said, "lol"
SamSmooth said, "stupid and lucky is how u win at pokerstars"
SamSmooth said, "i've won plenty"
BritBoy said, "now stop crying and find a job"
SamSmooth said, "lol"
SamSmooth said, "i have 2"
BritBoy said, "2"
BritBoy said, "lol"
BritBoy said, "good for u"
SamSmooth said, "and take classes full time"
BritBoy said, "i work 20 hours a week"
SamSmooth said, "so you're lazy"
SamSmooth said, "congrats"
SamSmooth said, "what a wonderful life"
BritBoy said, "hahahha"
BritBoy said, "last $"
SamSmooth said, "i got plenty of money"
BritBoy said, "sure, u got 2 jobs"
BritBoy said, "lol"
SamSmooth said, "it doesnt mean squat"
SamSmooth said, "what does that mean "get a job""
SamSmooth said, "is that the best thing u can say?"
BritBoy said, "no ,"
SamSmooth said, "oh no..its making fun of someone's country"
SamSmooth said, "yeah...what an intelligent person"
BritBoy said, "who doesnt"
SamSmooth said, "what amazing wit"
Techie 01011 said, "you know you can get sucked out on in this game,if your gunna get mad and call people names, DONT PLAY"
SamSmooth said, "i never make fun of peoples country"
(at this point I'm thinking - we are kind of a whiny bunch - best not to say so, tho')
BritBoy said, "ty"
SamSmooth said, "who's mad?"
SamSmooth said, "i called the donk a donk"
SamSmooth said, "do u call a spade a diamond?"
Techie 01011 said, "see"
SamSmooth said, "you're making a judgement"
DegenR8 said, "he isn't, he's pretty good actually"
SamSmooth said, "and who do u think u are to tell other ppl not to play?"
Techie 01011 said, "what ever"
BritBoy said, "ty Degen"
SamSmooth said, "people that are good dont limp with a nine up"
SamSmooth said, "and they dont chase on 4th street when they are clearly behind"
SamSmooth said, "thats fish"
DegenR8 said, " they do - against the right players"
BritBoy said, "Sam, please leave, we all want u to leave"
BritBoy: folds
Techie 01011 said, "i just said if your gunna get mad ,DONT PLAY"
SamSmooth said, "TECH"
SamSmooth said, "shut it"
Techie 01011 said, "mad"
SamSmooth said, "you're nobody"
SamSmooth said, "you cant tell anyone not to play"
SamSmooth said, "who do u think u are?"
SamSmooth said, "you're nothing"
SamSmooth said, "you're not even playing yourself"
DegenR8 said, "no - but we can call a mod"
Techie 01011 said, "then quit ctying"
SamSmooth said, "you're the one crying"
SamSmooth said, "call a mod- thats crying if i ever heard it"
SamSmooth said, "bunch of little kids"
SamSmooth said, "bunch of egotistical little kids"
SamSmooth said, "u think the world revolves around you"
SamSmooth said, "thats why you make fun of peoples country?"
SamSmooth said, "losers"
Techie 01011 said, "quit calling people names"
SamSmooth said, "you shut up if u cant take it"
SamSmooth said, "loser"
SamSmooth said, "leave"
SamSmooth said, "you have no authority to tell others when they can play and cant play"
Techie 01011 said, "i didnt"
BritBoy said, "sam, u really got a problem"
SamSmooth said, "yes u did"
SamSmooth said, "i'm not the one who can't handle being a donk"
SamSmooth said, "some people can't handle it when they are wrong"
BritBoy said, "u call everyone a donk"
SamSmooth said, "only you"
SamSmooth said, "you're not everyone"
Techie 01011 said, "i said if your gunna get mad"
SamSmooth said, "u said it five times"
SamSmooth said, "i dont care what you say"
SamSmooth said, "its your opinion"
SamSmooth said, "and frankly i dont agree with you"
Techie 01011 said, "i didnt say you cant play"
SamSmooth said, "yes u did"
DegenR8 said, "no he didnt"
BritBoy said, "check my razz stats Samdonk"
Techie 01011 said, "grow up"
SamSmooth said, ""if you are gonna get mad, then dont play""
SamSmooth said, "are u delusional?"
Techie 01011 said, "do you know how to read"
SamSmooth said, "i read what u wrote"
DegenR8 said, "i took it as advice not order"
SamSmooth said, "you're still telling someone what to do"
SamSmooth said, "nope i'll stay"
Techie 01011 said, "good"
Techie 01011 said, "reload"
SamSmooth said, "u can leave anytime"
Techie 01011 said, "ill take more money"
BritBoy said, "he's out of money"
SamSmooth said, "no i'll just stay and listen to your silly comments"
SamSmooth said, "and how full of yourself u are"
BritBoy said, "he's not even worth 2 rounds"
SamSmooth said, "you're not even worth your own spit"
Techie 01011 said, "does your mom and dad know your on the computor"
SamSmooth said, "mr 20 hours a week working"
BritBoy said, "whats wrong with that"
SamSmooth said, "waste of life"
BritBoy said, "hahahahha"
BritBoy said, "sure"
DegenR8 said, "Brit how much poker you play a week?"
BritBoy said, "20 a week"
DegenR8 said, "so you work 40 hrs total?"
BritBoy said, "yes"
BritBoy said, "thats fulltime"
SamSmooth said, "playing is not working"
SamSmooth said, "it is a game"
DegenR8 said, "sure it is,"
SamSmooth said, "it doesnt provide any kind of social benefit"
DegenR8 said, "you think football players don't work?"
DegenR8 said, "tiger woods doesn't work?"
SamSmooth said, "i dont think tiger thinks he works"
BritBoy said, "i am not a social worker"
SamSmooth said, "he plays a game....and he gets paid"
SamSmooth said, "everyone plays a role in society"
SamSmooth said, "maybe u dont play a positive one"
DegenR8 said, "Sam, you ever hear the term: professional poker player?"
SamSmooth said, "yes"
SamSmooth said, "i've known many"
DegenR8 said, "it's a job, you get paid"
SamSmooth said, "personally"
SamSmooth said, "its not a job"
SamSmooth said, "its a game"
SamSmooth said, "many people work jobs they dont get paid for"
SamSmooth said, "many people play games they get paid for"
BritBoy said, "let me guess phil helmut is your fav"
SamSmooth said, "its a matter of perception"
SamSmooth said, "no i've met phil, and i've dealt to him, and he's an arrogant egotistical man"
DegenR8 said, "so - an NFL quarterback has no job?"
BritBoy said, "u are too"
DegenR8 said, "because he plays a game?"
SamSmooth said, "just cause one has a job...doesnt mean they consider their job work"
SamSmooth said, "you can have your definition"
SamSmooth said, "and u can stick to it"
SamSmooth said, "doesnt mean everyone else has to agree with u"
DegenR8 said, "no, but you can keep talking and make a bigger *** of yourself"
DegenR8 said, "*** = fool"
SamSmooth said, "and u can be fixed in your thinking"
SamSmooth said, "and disrespectful towards opposing views"
DegenR8 said, "like you arent? !! LOL!!!"
SamSmooth said, "if that helps u"
SamSmooth said, "i didnt say u were wrong"
SamSmooth said, "u have your opinion"
SamSmooth said, "thats good for u"
SamSmooth said, "i respect it"
DegenR8 said, "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - uh-huh"
SamSmooth said, "but i have a different opinion"
SamSmooth said, "which u clearly do not respect"
DegenR8 said, "your opinions are based on not being able to define english words"
SamSmooth said, "now you're making a judgement call"
SamSmooth said, "do u know a fellow named ghandi?"
GHANDI? wait - did he just ask if they knew who Ghandi was?
DegenR8 said, "and true i have no respect for anything you have said so far"
SamSmooth said, "ghandi considered himself to be on vacation at all times"
SamSmooth said, "and yet he "worked" harder than most individuals will ever work"
DegenR8 said, "so he never cashed his government checks?"
DegenR8 said, "LOLOLOLOL"
SamSmooth said, "why are u so fixated on work and money being so dependent on each other?"
SamSmooth said, "there are millions of people who don't earn money"
SamSmooth said, "and still provide for their families"
SamSmooth said, "there are still barter economies which exist today"
SamSmooth said, "do u ever volunteer your time?"
DegenR8 said, "no I am devoted to drugs sex and R&R"
DegenR8 said, "comes from being born rich"
SamSmooth said, "yes, and u are the adult one"
SamSmooth said, "too bad for u"
DegenR8 said, "so you never answered about ghandi and the govvernment checks he kept cashing on vacation"
SamSmooth said, "i dont know"
DegenR8 said, "YOU DON'T KNOW?"
SamSmooth said, "u can google it"
DegenR8 said, "read a book about him someday"
SamSmooth said, "what does this have to do with him working or not?"
SamSmooth said, "you're the one that seems to need to read it"
SamSmooth said, "you're fixated on this idea that if you are earning money, u are working"
DegenR8 said, "i never said that "
SamSmooth said, "you're implying it"
SamSmooth said, "with your whole conversation"
DegenR8 said, "you're inferring it"
OK hold on - they know the difference between imply and infer?
SamSmooth said, "then i challenge you to prove me wrong"
DegenR8 said, "well, Sam, I'm glad you worked thru your tilt- now I'll put you on mute - so - GL and you are welcome"
Techie 01011 said, "he twisted my words too"
SamSmooth said, "ooooh"
SamSmooth said, "then i challenge you to prove me wrong"
BritBoy said, "hey sam, remember who started this"
SamSmooth said, "i thought i was on mute...mr high horse"
BritBoy said, "mute?"
SamSmooth said, "yes"
SamSmooth said, "u said u were putting me on mute"
BritBoy said, "that was from Degen"
BritBoy said, "jesus, short memory"
SamSmooth said, "oh yes"
SamSmooth said, "you're right"
SamSmooth said, "u all look the same"
SamSmooth said, "lol"
SamSmooth said, "u still have the high horse though"
BritBoy said, "u still have bad breathe"
SamSmooth said, "its true that i love garlic"
Dealt to SamSmooth [Js] [6s]
BritBoy said, "j ?"
BritBoy said, "thats higher then 9 ****ing donk"
SamSmooth said, "watch your tongue"
SamSmooth said, "hypocrite"
BritBoy said, "no u are"
SamSmooth said, "i had money invested"
SamSmooth said, "dont go calling mods when u cant keep your own chat clean"
BritBoy said, "no u are stupid antichrist"
BritBoy said, "too bad i didnt call the mod"
SamSmooth said, "if you're typing *** then you clearly can't"
SamSmooth said, "antichrist?"
BritBoy said, "do i stutter"
SamSmooth said, "have u lost your brain completely?"
BritBoy said, "just let me check"
SamSmooth said, "clearly u have"
DegenR8 said, "I can't see his chat - but I called the mod"
BritBoy said, "No, sorry"
SamSmooth said, "calling someone an antichrist....lmfao"
SamSmooth said, "u have no idea my religion"
SamSmooth said, "or if i am religious"
BritBoy said, "dont wanne know"
SamSmooth said, "clearly"
SamSmooth said, "i feel for you"
BritBoy said, "ty"
BritBoy said, "love u 2"
SamSmooth said, "i hope you can one day gain some logic"
SamSmooth said, "its just a game"
BritBoy said, "sure, u know about respect calling me a donk"
SamSmooth said, "its a harmless word"
BritBoy said, "sure,"
SamSmooth said, "just like antichrist"
DegenR8 is sitting out
DegenR8 said, "I have to go now and get in the Maserati, score some blow and laugh at all the homeless people on my way to the orgy - GL all"
It comes to a nice close, doesn't it? Like a tiny book about human everything - work, play, money, patriotism, religion, philosophy, sin, they had it all!