I only confidently conferred the following:
Installing an SSL doesn't take very long. This is not a controversial thought because it is very fast, plus you have to restart your proxy servers to get the redirects to work. If installing SSL took all day, the entire web would be down on some "install SSL day."
The redirects are from port 80 to port 443, which has absolutely nothing to do with any application code.
Using a rando off craigslist is a terrible idea because you need to do the above with root access.
There is someone who does the system stuff. I'd suggest sending said poster a PM about it if you know who it is.
I did allow that, if this site is loaded across many servers, then there may be other problems. Since I don't know how to do this at all, I do not wish to speculate or speak on this situation.
However, I am pointing out that there are some misconceptions about how SSL works: it has nothing to do with vBulletin, PHP, or any other programming language that is used.
For a decently quick overview:
https://www.digitalocean.com/communi...n-ubuntu-14-04