Quote:
Originally Posted by candybar
I think this is fairly obvious but in case it's helpful - in the corporate world, most people think of additional high-level responsibilities being given as a positive, even without any raise because typically there are more people than opportunities and the right opportunities can raise your future earning potential significantly. Also, all else equal, you're better off working with people who see great potential in you, as opposed to those that see you as disposable.
Now the situation being what it is, it may not be a great opportunity from your perspective but from their perspective, it seems like they were expecting you to be impressed with both 1) the opportunity for advancement they were offering and 2) their belief in your potential and they were quite insulted that you wanted more salary on top. I don't know how exactly it played out but I don't think they necessarily wanted to give you all these additional responsibilities, but more that that's what they thought you wanted and the prospect of you successfully growing into this role was worth the risk.
Also, if you do want more money, given that you're dealing with a small company with people negotiating that have a personal stake, the exact opposite stance may be helpful. Your actual situation here is that you hate your job situation so they need to offer an above market compensation in order for you to stay. And it seems that you made that far too transparent. Most people intrinsically don't like that proposition - imagine if you went to a barbershop and the barber said, you gotta pay 30% more than everyone else because I just don't like cutting your hair. Even if this was objectively a better deal than what you can get elsewhere, you may feel insulted and go elsewhere. The attitude you want to project instead is, I really love this job, but you're paying me so little compared to what I can get elsewhere that I just can't afford to be here. I know I can get X (my fictitious market value) but I will take X - 5% because I really love this job. Even if you're asking for the same amount and even if they feel you're delusional about your market value, it plays better because you're essentially making them feel better about themselves.
I appreciate the thoughtful response and i think you are right.
But I’m not asking above market. We didnt even get to numbers yet, it was a conversation that went roughly like this (not verbatim obviously just the gist of the convo)
“we ****ed up by not giving you the proper support and tools you needed. We’re in a bad spot right now and need you to do (lists a huge expansion of my authority and responsibilities). What do you say?”
Me: “ok, if i understand what you’re saying, you’re effectively making me a program manager (list the responsibilities of a program manager)”
“Correct”
“Ok then i think we should talk compensation”
Them: “LOL”
I think i’m barely at market for my current job title. You guys confirmed this. On the one hand i get how they think the opportunity alone is worth more than any monetary amount they could give me. OTOH idgaf about titles and i dont even know if i wanna be a manager for my career anymore.
A promotion with no raise? Idc about title really. The message theyre sending me is effectively that they expect me to leverage this offer to go somewhere else and in the meantime fix their problems until they can dispose of me. I’m having a hard time seeing any other message here. They even said that this offer was worth a lot of money at my next job. Either that or they think i wont really leave. I thought i made it suuuuuper clear that i have basically nothing to lose here and i’m here for a challenge and the moment the frustration is overwhelming me i have no problems just creating an exit plan for me for them. I even offered to help them train someone to replace me in my initial attempt to resign.
Even if i have a new title, if i’m not learning and increasing my skills i just dont care. I dont think ill be able to learn anything with this new job other than a bunch of mistakes and a new cynical outlook in tech. I am defintely on track to be extremely bitter and burned out by 35.