Quote:
Originally Posted by candybar
I think a better way to describe your disposition is that of an artist (as opposed to an entrepreneur).
solid observation
OP, I'm both similar and the reverse of you, my poker career went very well and after that I briefly dabbled with the idea of going pro in League. I quickly gave up since the toxicity really got to me and I didn't want to pursue a 2% shot when I didn't really enjoy the journey
I'm pretty bad with dealing with any type of administration in my life, so I can relate to the "I don't want to deal with that". However, it was never a problem for me in poker. All the little stuff like the study grind, mindful breathing to increase ability to focus/mental stamina, setting your own schedule and sticking to it (and optimizing the underlying habits so you don't do it on willpower which isn't sustainable) etc etc. One thing that really helps is to see those little things as integral to your goal, of what you're competing for. Becoming the best poker player in the world isn't just about multitabling for hours, it's also about managing your money, doing work to be better at the table, it's even about going for that run so you stay healthy so you can focus and keep winning long term.
That you had trouble managing your money in poker, and then were very good at league (congrats on challenger by the way, jelly) makes sense to me. League even more so than poker is really one-dimensional, you can just get lost in the flow of playing. I'm pretty sure from your description you didn't do a lot of studying away from the tables unless you were really interested in something? Eg no set schedule or something?
The 'artist' description applies to you more than the 'competitor' imo. You seem to love the flow of playing, which I get, but if you were a competitor first I think you'd figure out a way to make pro league work with a GF. That's not impossible right, the schedule really isn't all that different from regular athletes. You seem unwilling to put the work in when the work isn't immediately rewarding/flowy, eg when you might have to figure out a way how to make going pro work in league (your programming experience also sounds like this). That's not a diss, I'm sure plenty on this forum can relate, including myself.
A part of the solution is what people call "growing up", eg I have gotten better in dealing with stupid life red tape over the years, I still suck at it relatively but at least I don't get court summons just because I'm too lazy to pay a bill anymore
(this happened to me more than once)
But mostly, the solution is to expand your view of your goal. If you really want to compete at something, you gotta crush the others at the margin stuff. Every pro soccer player absolutely loves playing soccer, at least the first years of their career, there's no edge there. It's the ones that can keep their diet in check, keep a clear head when others are throwing around money, that diligently do crazy boring rehab stuff so an injury heals 100%, etc etc that make it. A very similar analogy could be made for league, and poker.
The problem for me was, having already crushed poker, a similar goal of crushing in another game (league) was kind of lame. I'm currently trying to become a writer which really isn't all that much fun on a minute-to-minute base (rare are the moments where words just flow out of you), def much less satisfying than poker or league (on that minute to minute basis). But i'm excited about influencing the world, and all the boring or annoying stuff is part of that meta-goal, which keeps me energized. And having somebody (esp non-friends) tell me that they liked what I write and that it made them think is motivating in a different way than a 100k day was in poker.
I don't work hard enough at writing, I have to be consciously aware that this is different from poker, that I need to approach the work in a different way (eg poker is much more flowy than writing, in poker you have to work on quitting, in writing on not quitting). But yeah, defining your goal broad enough so that the boring or even frustrating stuff is part of it, and part of what you have to optimize/compete in, even one of the most important parts since that is where the edge is.. that's what I'd suggest.
Hopefully this wasn't too rambly or blunt