Agree with this lost of people drink when they play live and the men there are much more likely to say belligerent things after they have been drinking

I only read the first post, but none of that bothers me. I probably would have turned around and showed them my rear end. I probably would have come back with a snide comment to the "rape" comment, too. I love leading guys on and getting them relaxed and stupid. Works great for my game. Half the time I'm the obnoxious one. I guess I've never let anyone bother me by what they say, and if guys want to be "guys" (the idiot type), I let them. Really, it seems to help me win more money off of them. That type of guy usual tends to not be as bright, too, so I want them at my table! Their egos make them call me down light or try to aggro me into folding -- awesome!

I think the irony is, is that many of these comments are actually male orientated, typically directed at men, but at the same time insensitive.

I would in fact argue that "pussy" is more of a boyish term, perhaps even "rape" as I can't imagine any dignified man making such a comment towards a woman, but then again, it is late night poker.

So I do agree with you in that these gentlemen should be more aware of what they say, but they are not necessarily sexist but rather asexual and simply misused.

Both guys comments were completely out of line! You should be made to feel welcome to the table, not because you are a girl, but because you are a fellow poker player, and we never have enough players. If ever you find yourself in New Orleans at Harrahs or the Beau Rivage in Biloxi, please look for an older gent in a black cowboy hat, that should be me. You are welcome to sit at my table. Expect to be treated like a lady.

P.S. If you play badly expect me to take every chip you have. I'll expect the same from you.

Both guys comments were completely out of line! You should be made to feel welcome to the table, not because you are a girl, but because you are a fellow poker player, and we never have enough players. If ever you find yourself in New Orleans at Harrahs or the Beau Rivage in Biloxi, please look for an older gent in a black cowboy hat, that should be me. You are welcome to sit at my table. Expect to be treated like a lady.

P.S. If you play badly expect me to take every chip you have. I'll expect the same from you.

These comments are indeed inappropriate but I have to agree, all you can do is find it funny. It makes me laugh because I know that they're just trying to offend me but their comments are stupid just like them and its that notion that makes me laugh, the fact that they're trying to offend me and failing miserably because of how stupid they are.

I don't want to "find it funny." I want comments like "that was so gay" or "sorry, I was just looking at your tits" when someone fails to act in turn to stop. And as for the "rape" and the "show me your ass" comments, I've never encountered either one in real life and I hope I never do, because to me those are outright attempts at sexual intimidation. (Yes, I'm aware that for some people "rape you" is a "let's all be boys together giving each other ****" expression...it is different when it is said to a woman by a man...and it's not appropriate in ANY context.)

What I have found is a good method for defusing the situation, and more to the point, embarrassing the offender into maybe not doing it again is a simple "Aren't you a little old to be saying things like that?"

And it's 100% sincere when I say it. I find the use of the word "gay" as a pejorative and a lot of the other stuff in this thread to be utterly adolescent behavior, which anyone old enough to be sitting at a poker table should really have outgrown.

As far as pokerstars are concerned they feel that remarks at the table about rape are acceptable.

I just reported a remark about rape and the moderator came back and said there was nothing unacceptable in the chat-log.

#uphillbattle

I had a similar issue with "gay", ending with a support staff member helpfully reminding me that gay can mean lame.

THANKS THERE BUDDY.

That pissed me off enough to see me leave the site for a few months

no offense to anyone, and I tend to just stay quiet at the tables, unless the topic is subjectively about sports, but don't they make headphones for this issue or just close the chat box? I get that everyone wants to have a conversation at the table, and make it a social event, which it is, and that is good and all, but the main reason is to make money. We all were in high school once and everyone has an opinion on this or that, or this offends this person but not another person, and some people are intelligent and others are misinformed. I thought the beauty of the game is all of that was outside of the game, and if it is not, well then just put in headphones, close the chat box, and use it to your advantage to focus on the game itself, where the good stuff really is anyway, win or lose.

I'd rather people just stopped with the unacceptable chatter; the onus is on them to cut it out, not other people to try and ignore them (the keyword there being "try"; it's rarely that easy)

Completely unacceptable! However feel this def happens more often in cash games w drunk low self esteem excuses of men.... However I wouldn't give them the pleasure of reaСting. In tourney situations I've had some instances of comments/etc and usually
Ignored or immediately called floor it annoys the hell outta them!

First time poster.

Haven't read all the responses re: how to handle this situation, and I can see that the topic is pretty old now (I actually thought it was a fresh topic originating from the "speech play" of Will Kassouf on the recently broadcast WSOP main event).

While I agree that the offensive player(s) deserve a beating for their behavior, I don't think it is the responsibility of the players at the table to administer this punishment. Maybe I'm a little bit of a woos because "taking it outside" would likely result in my own harm, being older, smaller, and not that fit

However, I do agree that the dealer and all the players at the table have a responsibility to curb such behavior. But I think the appropriate way to do so is to ask the poker room supervisor to come to the table, explain what happened, and let them handle it. In fact, the staff person taking you to the table and then offering you a table change when the inappropriate and offensive remarks were made, should have called the supervisor.

I know that they will likely only hand out a warning (and if they don't, that's a poker room I would less readily give my business), but it's step one on barring such a player from that poker room if there are repeated offenses.

I rely on the poker room staff to police these kinds of activities. There is way too much abusive talk, not just sexist, but all kinds, in poker rooms -- probably going back to the all-guys home games where perhaps this kind of behavior is permitted, perhaps even encouraged (although I would not enjoy a game like that most of the time). But even if that's in the least acceptable at a home game, these players need to learn how to behave in public.

Whoops, I thought this was a sub-forum about jokes or something...

@AstonMartinDB9 - "Situation 1. Show you my ass? If you can kick my ass at poker...sure..if I kick yours, wanna show everyone your teeny tiny winky ****?"
Yep, that would've definitely probably tilted and/or caused him to spew some chips your way (cha ching). - Muck

We teach people how to treat us. I called floor so much at my home casino nobody tries any bs with me anymore. They do think I'm a "bitch" (their words) but they also leave me alone.

Whilst this is the ideal, unfortunately it is not overly realistic to expect people drinking to behave perfectly. The onus is on the floor to curb it, and honestly, ignoring the behaviour and not engaging with the person making the comments is not a bad strategy to diffuse arguments. The nut low is for people to lower themselves to the other person and start fire with fire.

The 'so gay' comments aren't great but are unlikely to ever be picked up seriously by the floor because they are still too ubiquitous at this point, though that is changing. Not warning and then kicking players out for the tits comment is completely unacceptable to me by the floor.

Sometimes feel this behavior is out of control. I have been at a table where the dealer is participating in the same type of behavior. At what point can the floor enforce a penalty?

The poker room staff can either be very helpful or not at all. I have found it a bit more difficult when the room is staffed with people who have worked there forever...change can be hard.
However the newer the staff it seems, are more open to player concerns/complaints and are a lot more willing to curb this type of behavior and set more stringent standards.
This is obv not the situation in every room, but just has been my personal experience.

I too have seen this.
I have found the most effective method is to get up and tell the floor about it, without getting involved at the table. The dealer will likely get pushed soon, and the floor will hopefully go and talk to him before he gets to his next table.

I've played with many women and never heard anything even remotely close to this. I would get up and find the floor person myself and insist that the offender be given a warning or sent packing. If not, I would leave...there are plenty of places to play poker.